Angels Choir: Hallellujah! Haha, sorry it took a while for the next chapter. Right, just to clear up some things for LeMaki - Thanks for the review! - Harry and Hermione are dating. Harry's is bi and so is Hermione. And yes they had.. Sex. They do have a tiny weensy bit of romantic feelings for each other but, romantic feelings for some others overrides it.
Warning: Slash, Fem Slash. Conflicted and confused Draco. Angsty Harry.
Disclaimer: i only wish that Draco really did belong to me... Sigh..
Pairings: Harry/Hermione, Pansy/Hermione, Blaise/Neville Pairings are according to chapter. So if there's a new pairing in the chapter, I will inform you of it.
ENJOY!
Hole in the Heart: The loneliness closes in, I try to breathe and you pull me out back into the warmth
Chapter 2: Revisiting the past.
Harry was awoken by Hermione's alarm clock singing 'Good Morning to You'. He stretched out and detached himself from his half-awake girlfriend. With a soft kiss to her lips he stood up. Hermione smiled at him and said "Go bathe, Remus will be here in an hour," He nodded obediently and kissed her once more before going out of her room.
Hermione chuckled lightly and a sad smile crossed her features. A part of her knew that she didn't really love Harry but the time she spent with him, she grew to care for him like a sister cares for a brother. She sighed as the guilt washed through her body. It wasn't fair to keep deceiving Harry like this, but another part of her had grown accustomed to making love to Harry as well as accepting the small tokens of affections Harry never failed to show.
She enjoyed being loved and loving someone but to deceive someone by stretching the truth… It was an entirely different matter. She shook herself and banished the negative thoughts out of her head. She loved Harry and that was all that mattered. She nodded resolutely and entered her bathroom, looking forward to a hot shower.
Harry shoved whatever he thought was important into his old school trunk along with the Marauder's Map, the Invisibility Cloak and his treasured photo album and only link to his parents. As soon as he was done, he grabbed a random collared shirt and slipped it over his head, making his ebony hair messier than ever.
He wasn't looking forward to returning to Hogwarts very much to be truthful. The place was a blood bath when the war was over. Masked Death Eaters and the brave people who chose to fight corpses' were littered all over the Hogwarts grounds. Harry shivered at the memory and took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.
"Kreacher?" he called softly. Almost immediately, his house-elf appeared with a CRACK. Kreacher bowed low and said "Good morning Master. What is Master wanting from Kreacher?" Harry grinned slightly at Kreacher's politeness. The last time he knew the elf, he muttered incoherent insults on every person he came across. "Could I have some omelets and hot tea please?" asked Harry with equal politeness.
Kreacher stood up from his bow immediately and said in a shocked tone "Master needn't say please to Kreacher! What Master say will be given by Kreacher! No need to pleasing Kreacher!"
Harry smiled warmly at Kreacher "Everyone deserves politeness Kreacher. SO could you get what I asked?" Kreacher nodded fervently and looked at Harry with awe before disappearing with a loud CRACK. Harry chuckled dryly and shut his trunk with a snap. Kreacher was so amusing sometimes. Especially when you used politeness on him.
"Good job Harry. You've gotten everything packed?" came a gentle female voice. Harry's face broke into a brilliant and bright smile. "Of course 'Mione. I'm not that irresponsible," he said lightly. Hermione giggled as she entered his room. She placed a light kiss on his forehead and opened his trunk.
She squealed at the sight of the messy trunk where everything was randomly thrown in. "HARRY JAMES POTTER! THIS IS NOT PACKING!" she shouted angrily and exasperatedly. Harry laughed loudly and moved away from his Medusa-like girlfriend immediately. Hermione glared at him and emptied out the contents of the trunk. With a wave of her wand, his clothes straightened out and folded themselves before going into the trunk in a neat manner. The books on top of the clothes followed by the 3 treasures Harry looked after lovingly and zealously.
"Much better," said Hermione in satisfaction. "That is how you pack a bag! Not chuck everything in and shut it!" Harry had the audacity chuckle at Hermione and Hermione felt like strangling him. She took a couple of deep breaths before turning on her heel and exiting the room.
Kreacher chose that moment to enter the room with another CRACK. "Master's food has arrived," he croaked, handing over the tray to Harry who sat on the floor and dug in heartily. The fact that he had starved himself for a couple of days had hit him now and he was feeling rather hungry. "Master, what would Mistress Hermione be shouting now? Has Master done something that is making the Mistress angry?" enquired Kreacher curiously when Harry had scarfed down the plate of omelets.
Harry chuckled again and replied "She didn't like the way I packed my trunk. Said I chucked everything in and called it packing," Kreacher snickered naughtily and Harry joined in. He and Kreacher had taken to doing things that aggravated Hermione though in goodwill and not going too far overboard. "Master is doing good job on making Mistress go BOOM," snickered Kreacher as he picked up the plate.
"Ah, thank you Kreacher," preened Harry. "You did good yesterday at lunch. Tabasco in her tea," Kreacher and Harry sniggered at the memory for a few good minutes. They steadied themselves after and Harry gulped the tea at one go. "Thanks Kreacher!" he said. Kreacher took the plate and cup and disappeared with the usual CRACK.
With a sigh, Harry stood up and levitated his trunk. It was time he suck it up and faced whatever bad memory he tried to avoid.
Remus stepped out of the flame 5 minutes before 10. A little early, but it was better than being late. "Harry, Hermione. Are you guys ready?" he asked. The couple nodded and Remus continued "You'll be stepping out of my office's fire if you don't mind - Minerva allowed me to take up residence in the school," explained Remus, looking as though he was hiding something. "Oh yes, Poppy wants you in the Hospital Wing as soon as you arrive. Thankfully, my office is on the second floor so it's close to the Hospital Wing,"
Harry groaned as Remus finished his explanation. As much as he loved Madam Promfrey, the woman fussed too much. Especially over Harry because he spent the most time in the Hospital Wing and also due to the fact she nursed a soft spot for him.
Hermione grinned evilly. Karma was all it took. "If you don't mind. I'll go first," she said lightly, levitating the trunk into the green flames before she stood next to it. "Hogwarts, Remus' office," she shouted clearly. She was gone in a rush off ash and green smoke.
"Harry, you're next," said Remus, helping him get the trunk into the flames. Harry smiled gratefully and repeated the same location as Hermione. He was gone in an instant and Remus followed the suit, knowing full well Harry and Hermione would be ambushed by their old friends as soon as they stepped through the flame.
______
As soon as Harry stepped through the flame after Hermione, he felt people patting his back and hugging him while crowing "Harry mate! Good to see you!"
"Let him breathe!" bellowed someone who sounded suspiciously like Neville. Immediately, everyone stepped back though they were grinning madly at Harry. "Sorry Harry. I thought I'd come greet you alone but the hooligans here decided they wanted in on your arrival welcome," Neville looked sheepish but he had an air of silent confidence around him.
When Harry was just 11 and he met Neville Longbottom, Neville was the shy quiet type that didn't stand up for himself. Slowly, he started gaining confidence though his close confidants were the plants he spent time with in the Greenhouses. Harry gave Neville a reassuring smile and said "Thanks for the welcome guys, but Madam Promfrey will sack my ass if I don't get my handsome ass down to the hospital wing,"
The group laughed and they helped Harry take his trunk despite his protests. Hermione, he noticed was gone. So was her trunk. His girlfriend puzzled him sometimes but she deserved privacy, so Harry shrugged off the nagging feeling.
______
"Hermione, you look better," said a female voice appraisingly as Hermione walked briskly towards the girl. They smiled at each other warmly. "Did you miss me?" asked the girl slyly. Hermione blushed and stepped closer to the girl.
"Of course," and the gap was closed when Hermione kissed the girl. Soon enough, they were heatedly kissing each other and the other girl pulled Hermione into the shadows. Hermione felt her partner's hands slip into her shirt and unhook her bra. She drew in a sharp breath and pulled away.
"Pansy… Not here… Tonight okay? Prefects bathroom," said Hermione huskily, her eyes dilated with desire. Pansy smiled and kissed Hermione swiftly while hooking back her bra. "Anything for you…" said Pansy gently before she disappeared further into the shadows, leaving Hermione alone.
Hermione straightened her clothes and made her way to the Gryffindor Tower. She would soon have to break things off with Harry. She loved Pansy too much to leave her and the feelings were the same on Pansy's side. She sighed guiltily and sped her walk to a jog.
__________
Draco finished unpacking his trunk and shuddered delicately. So far, he was the only other Slytherin who had agreed to return to Hogwarts after its renovation. Due to the fact the amount of Gryffindors was the most, McGonagall had instructed him to stay in the High Tower which was once known as the Gryffindor Tower. The new Headmistress felt that if the students hadn't been split into so many houses, perhaps there would've been lesser student Death Eaters.
He had no idea where Pansy had gone, so here he was feeling thoroughly uncomfortable in the Lion's Den. After holding much disdain for the students from Gryffindor, he had completely no idea how to act. "Ouch!" he hissed in pain, dropping the scissors he had unconsciously squeezed in his hand. Blood dripped from the open cut and he hurriedly pressed his uninjured hand over the cut to attempt to stop the bleeding.
"Good job Malfoy. Here for an hour and you're going to the Hospital Wing already," he muttered to himself, hurrying out of the Seventh Year boys' dorm and out the portrait hole. He walked in quick and lengthy strides, going down the moving staircases as fast as possible whilst paying attention to the trick steps. It really was annoying because the Lion's Den was up on the seventh and highest floor, which meant that he'd have to trudge up and down a lot of stairs.
Finally, he reached the familiar doors to the infirmary and pushed it open with his shoulder. "Madam…" he called out but trailed off when he saw Potter sleeping soundly in one of the hospital beds. Looks like he wasn't the only one who had injured himself even before term started.
He walked as quietly as possible as so not to wake the sleeping boy and sat down heavily on the bed beside the one Potter occupied. He waited for 5 minutes before Madam Promfrey came bustling in with a tray of Potions and placed on the bedside table next to Potter. "Mr. Malfoy, an injury even before term has started?" she asked mildly, raising a graying brow. Draco flushed lightly and replied, "Yes, an accident with the scissors," She went over to her Potions cabinet and took out to vials. She quickly cleaned the cut before putting some salve that stung slightly then rubbing some mint smelling ointment. Immediately, the cut was closed and there was only a light sign of a scar. "Be more careful Mr. Malfoy. I don't want to see you here again any time soon," she said sternly, giving him a fierce look. He nodded and resisted the urge to salute at the matron before she went into her office. As soon as the door to the matron's office swung shut, Draco turned his head to look at Potter curiously.
Clearly, the Golden Boy hadn't been getting enough sleep. The eye bags around his eyes were clearly proof of that. Also, from the glares and looks of hatred Draco had given the boy over the years led him to notice that his former nemesis had lost a lot of weight if the hollowness in his cheeks were anything but proof.
The door to the infirmary opened again and Granger came rushing in towards the bed where Potter slept. Worry was clearly etched into her face as she conjured up a chair by Potter's bedside. She reached out a hand and pushed away his fringe from his face. Draco cleared his throat to get her attention before he greeted quietly, "Granger, I trust you have been well?" Hermione looked up in a surprise before answering uncomfortably, "Yes, I have. You Malfoy?"
He shrugged half-heartedly. He was quite aware that Granger and Potter had gotten together after the war. "What's wrong with Potter?" Draco asked out of sheer curiosity. He noticed at once that Granger tensed at the question as she took Harry's hand in her own. "He hasn't been very well since the war ended," she finally replied tersely, her eyes trained on her lap as she absently made patterns on the back of Harry's hand with her thumb.
Draco suppressed the unwanted jealously that was building inside of him before replying, "Nightmares?" asked Draco tentatively like as though he was treading on fragile glass. Hermione looked up at him before looking away quickly. She nodded once and sighed, her eyes moving to rest on Harry's face sadly.
Seeing as Granger was going to be unresponsive, Draco stood and quickly exited the infirmary gracefully. What had the world become? Draco had thought that Harry Potter the Great Savior would be sitting on a high throne accepting the praises of various ass kissers but no, it was the exact opposite. So much for Potter being the arrogant git Draco thought him to be.
_____
Hermione's eyes were closing but every time they did, she opened them back immediately. A pair of warm hands touched her shoulder and she jumped, startled. She turned around, her wand at ready and sighed in relief when she saw it was just Pansy. "Aren't you happy to see me," said Pansy, amusement etched on her face as Hermione put away her wand back into the wrist holster.
Although no one really used a wrist holster, Hermione felt safer when she had it on so that she was prepared for whatever that may happen. "Pansy, I'm really sorry… I know I was supposed to meet you but well, I couldn't leave Harry," said Hermione apologetically, nodding at Harry. Pansy nodded understandingly and kissed her forehead. "It's fine. I understand. Is he getting any better?" she asked. Hermione shook her head sadly. "He still has the nightmares… Sometimes they get so bad he doesn't even want to fall asleep," sighed Hermione.
Pansy smiled sympathetically and conjured up a chair to sit next to Hermione. They talked quietly about N.E.W.T.s and their studies for awhile before Harry stirred. His eyes fluttered and he opened them blearily. "Harry!" exclaimed Hermione, smiling brightly.
"Don't shout 'Mione," he mumbled, yawning halfway and rubbing his eyes. "How long have I been out?" he asked as Pansy handed him his glasses. He nodded his thanks and slipped them on.
"Well, 8 hours give or take. Madam Promfrey gave you a big dose of the Dreamless Sleep," replied Hermione after mentally calculating. Harry looked distracted as Pansy stood up. "I'll go get Madam Promfrey," she said before making her way to Madam Promfrey's office. She knocked and the nurse opened it. They spoke in soft tones for awhile while Harry gulped down the water thirstily.
"Good evening Harry. I gave you a larger than normal dose of Dreamless Sleep because you needed it. Off you hop to dinner but I want you back here after dinner to get some Sleeping Potions to help your sleep," said Madam Promfrey sternly. Harry nodded meekly and got up off the bed. He slipped on his trainers and stretched, cracking his neck and back to take away the stiffness. He rolled his shoulders back a couple of times before he nodded to Hermione.
As they walked to the Great Hall, Harry made conversation with Pansy whom he had gotten to know better during the couple of times Hermione invited the girl over for dinner and drinks. "How was everything so far Pansy? It's been a while since you came over for some drinks," said Harry conversationally.
Pansy laughed softly. "Well, I have been sort of busy. Settling out the family vaults and properties. I gave some to my aunt who was very close to us until my parents decided to join up with a madman," Pansy pulled a face at that but both Harry and Hermione could see the pain in her eyes. She'd lost both her parents in the war. Her father was killed by a stray Killing Curse and her mother was submitted to the Kiss.
It was known that she, Malfoy and a few other Slytherins joined Voldemort's ranks and spied for them like Severus did. Harry's heart ached slightly at the thought of the deceased Potions Professor. He may not have been close to the snarky man but Severus' last act was protecting Harry. It saddened Harry to know he misunderstood the man but well, it was too late. "It's kind of good to be back here, hm?" said Pansy, changing the subject abruptly.
Hermione nodded her agreement and glanced at Harry who shrugged. "I guess… Not for me though. Too many bad memories… I supposed I'll have to face them soon enough," Hermione put an arm around Harry's waist as Pansy patted his arm gently. "You don't have to face anything until you're ready Harry," sniffed Hermione, blinking back her sudden tears. Harry smiled down at Hermione and kissed her forehead before doing the same to Pansy whom he now considered another close friend.
"Well, since I'm here I might as well. When are we taking out N.E.W.T.s anyways?" he asked. Hermione gave him and 'I-don't-know' face as did Pansy. "We'll find out during dinner I suppose," said Pansy. They entered the Great Hall and was surprised to see that the House tables were no longer there. Instead, all the returning Seventh Years sat together at what used to be the Gryffindor table. Above it, a banner with the school's crest and motto hung down. "Hey guys," greeted the 3 latecomers.
A round of hello's and how are you's were chorused back. Harry saw that Malfoy sat a little away from the large group of mostly Gryffindors blended with 1 Ravenclaw - Though Luna was sitting away from the group and 3 Hufflepuffs. Blaise was also among them, his arm wrapped protectively around Longbottom's waist. Draco knew that Blaise was dating Longbottom because Blaise himself had told him about it. "Luna!" exclaimed Harry pleasantly surprised. The dreamy girl looked up and waved at Harry. "Hello Harry, you're causing quite the disturbance among the Wrackspurts you know," commented Luna easily like as though she was talking about the weather.
Harry smiled fondly and sat down opposite her. Same old Luna. She seemed to be slightly cut out from the group but he didn't mind. He couldn't quite stand being in large crowds. Hermione sat next to Luna and Pansy sat between him and Draco. Who knew Malfoy was so close to where he was sitting.
Choosing to be polite, Harry leaned back slightly to look at Malfoy before saying, "Hello Malfoy, how have you been?" Malfoy looked surprised at Harry's polite greeting but quickly schooled his face into a mask of polite indifference. "Busy. I contributed a bit of the Malfoy fortune to the school's reconstruction," he replied indifferently.
"That's nice," Harry said genuinely pleased as he smiled brightly at Malfoy. He had to stop talking though when Professor McGonagall clinked the goblet with her spoon gently.
_____
Draco was bored out of his mind. He had no one to talk to although the Gryffindors easily accepted him sharing the same sleeping quarters as them. He didn't feel up to talking to some thickheaded people. He had to fight down a pleased look when he saw Potter entering the Great Hall flanked by Granger and Pansy. Pansy shot him a warm smile before she went back to talking to Granger.
How that friendship sprung he'd never know but all sorts of surprising things had happened after the War. Potter approached the table and greeted everyone seated there. Draco nodded politely once as the rest shouted hi and how are you. The normal greeting stuff. Draco couldn't help but feel an unwanted rise of jealousy when Potter greeted Lovegood with pleasant surprise.
He leaned in slightly to hear their short conversation. "Luna!" exclaimed Potter, looking far too happy for Draco's liking. Even Draco couldn't fathom why he was feeling this way and thinking such thoughts. As usual, Lovegood couldn't give a sane answer as she replied, "Hello Harry, you're causing quite the disturbance among the Wrackspurts you know,"
Draco had no idea what in the world a Wrack whatever was but it didn't sound pleasant. Potter however took it in his stride and gave her a fond smile. Draco couldn't help but wonder if he would ever see such fondness directed at him from Potter. Oh god, what was he thinking about as Draco mentally smacked himself. He was surprised when Potter took a seat and Pansy was the only obstacle sitting between him and Potter.
'Jesus Malfoy, now you're thinking of your childhood friend as an obstacle?' he thought, mentally berating himself when Potter leaned over to look at him. "Hello Malfoy, how have you been?" greeted Potter, looking politely interested. Shocked was an understatement but Draco hurriedly schooled his face into his own polite indifference. "Busy. I contributed of the Malfoy fortune to the school's reconstruction," Draco couldn't help but boast.
To Draco, it was worth it because instantly, Potter gave him a genuine smile and replied in a pleased voice, "That's nice," Draco gave him a polite smile and was about to say something else but was stopped due to the fact Professor McGonagall had knocked on her goblet gently to get everyone's attention. Potter gave him another brief smile before turning his attention to McGonagall.
"Good evening students. It's nice to see you back here. The returning seventh years-" she said with a small thin smile as her eyes moved to Harry's group, "As well as the last year's sixth years," The small group of 14 students smiled brightly and clapped loudly. Professor McGonagall smiled but cleared her throat to continue. "Due to the War that took place last year, I have invited back all of the sixth year students but only some chose to return. You will take this time from April to September to finish off your sixth year course work as well as relearn the course work and learn the Seventh Year course work with the returning Seventh Year students,"
Silence met her announcement but it wasn't the bad kind of course. Professor McGonagall surveyed the table of students again before ploughing on. "The Ministry has agreed to allow all of you - as well as 6 other students that will be coming tomorrow - to take your N.E.W.T.s on the 1st of September and will end on the 8th of September. You will get the timetable in July. Classes for the Sixth Years will begin a week from today - 16th April - and classes for the returning Seventh Years will begin 1st of May,"
Groans of no fair and yes we got free time to mess around erupted from the table. Professor McGonagall shook her head at them before rapping her knuckles on the wooden podium. A hush fell in the room as she finished off the last of her announcements. "As usual, no entering the Forbidden Forest. You are allowed to play Quidditch, but do inform me beforehand so I may get a teacher to supervise. Now then, tuck in!"
Food of all sorts appeared on the table and soon enough, the table was groaning under its weight. Conversation struck up once more as everyone tucked in heartily. It didn't escape Draco's, Hermione's and Pansy's notice that Harry was just pushing his chicken pie around his plate.
"Harry, you have to eat. You've lost a lot of weight," coaxed Hermione. Harry sighed and put his fork down. "I have no appetite 'Mione," he mumbled. Hermione gave an exasperated look as Pansy tried to get him to at least eat some. Draco couldn't suppress the overwhelming concern as he leaned over and drawled, "Your girlfriend's right Potter. You look peaky. Just eat some and give her a peace of mind,"
Harry looked up at Hermione and saw the worry there. He glanced at Pansy who was nodding encouragingly but was also just as worried for him. He sighed and shoveled some of the pie into his mouth. Hermione smiled widely at him.
Dinner was peaceful as everyone caught up with each other and tried to guess who the other 6 students were. They exited the Hall together after Professor McGonagall bid them goodnight. "So where is everyone sleeping eh?" asked Seamus with his thick Irish accent. "The Gryffindor Tower of course. There's 7 of you lions, 3 of the snakes, 1 raven and 3 badgers," said Susan. Everyone shrugged and trudged up the stairs easily. Harry and the two girls broke off from the group and Draco being curious followed.
"Where're you guys going?" asked Draco curiously. "Hospital Wing," replied Pansy after Hermione nodded her approval to answer. Draco immediately noted that she didn't want to answer anymore merely shrugged in a graceful manner. "Harry! Wait up!" called Lupin.
Harry turned with his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Remus?" he asked. "What's wrong?"
Remus gave him a cheerful grin and said happily, "I have a surprise for you,"
End Chapter 02.
Ori: Nyaha, mini cliffy. Can anyone guess what the surprise is? hint: Hair colour changing :D Oh yes, I am so sorry for the misinformation on my pen name change. it's now OriannaEmmi in case you didn't see it on my page. Thank you to LeMaki for reviewing! *sprinkles dream dust on LeMaki* now you can have nice dreams of Draco being your personal waiter :D Or Harry if you prefer. Any one want a confused and conflicted Draco sitting under their Christmas Tree? Review if you do! ;) holding chapter 3 captive.
Any New Year's resolution ?? :D I will update if I feel like it, reviews are a good moral booster
MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D HAPPY NEW YEAR!