By Galaxy1001D
Kim Possible and other Disney characters are © Disney Co.
In his evil lair, the villainous Doctor Drakken laughed manically. "Bwa-ha-ha-ha! It's time to begin the countdown! In less than ten minutes a massive tidal wave will wash across the country! The United States will be destroyed! When the flood has subsided, laser-satellites will dry out the country and this land will be mine!" With those words, the blue-skinned villain pushed a button on his control panel and a set of numbers appeared on a computer monitor.
A foreign girl's voice rang out. "Not so fast, Honorable Doctor!" Up on the catwalk overlooking the massive chamber was—
"Kim Possible?" cried Drakken in surprise and confusion.
"And don't forget Ron Stoppable!" said the Japanese girl's plucky blonde sidekick who stood next to her with a naked mole-rat perched on his shoulder.
"Who's she?" bawled the mad doctor.
"She's a friend of mine," Ron answered defensively, "but don't worry, she kicks just as much butt as Kim does."
"It will be my honor to stand in for Kim Possible, especially during the dating scenes with Ron-san," the slender girl was Kim and Ron's age and height, but she moved like a dancer and spoke in a stilted formal style. "Kim does have many dates with you in this story, doesn't she Ron-san?"
Sweat appeared on the boy's brow as he smiled guiltily. "Sure… Yori, that's how these stories go, you know that."
"I thought this story had mostly Kigo in it," Drakken called out.
"Er uh…" Ron stammered.
"Why Stoppable-san, you have brought me into a story featuring a poetic style from my country," Yori smiled. "Very romantic."
"What?" Ron was dumbfounded.
"This story features kigo, a term that denotes a poetic allusion to the seasons in my country," Yori blushed. "You and your American-style romance. It is very sweet of you, Ron-san." She leaned foreword and kissed the blushing Ron on the cheek.
"Yuck," Drakken stuck his tongue out. "Honestly, I don't even know why I sign up for these kind of stories. Okay let's get this over with. You got Shego to come back didn't you?"
"Uh, not really…" Ron rubbed the back of his neck guiltily, "but don't worry, the girl I got to play Shego is just like her. You won't know the difference."
"Oh really?" Drakken raised on side of his unibrow skeptically. "She'd have to be a real…"
"Which one of you losers is supposed to give me my cue?" A curvy brunette appeared dressed in Shego's green and black harlequin style uniform. "I don't have all day you know."
"Drakken was supposed to give you your cue, Bonnie," Ron informed her.
"Who is this brat? Have I even seen her before?" Drakken grumbled. He frowned in concentration and stroked his chin as he studied her. "She does look familiar though. Didn't I clone her once?"
"You cloned her more that once, Middleton was filled with Bonnie clones," Ron told him as the cheerleader backed out of the room. "Don't you remember that one?"
"Oh yes, it's all coming back," Drakken nodded. "As I recall the cheerleader clones were actually pretty deadly. Okay, let's get back in to it. Where were we? Oh yeah, 'Kim Possible', the buffoon introduces himself, 'How did you find me'…blah-blah-blah!"
Yori pulled out what appeared to be a hair dryer with a grappling hook loaded in it. "The next time you attempt to blackmail the world honorable Doctor, you must remember that the United Nations has Caller ID." The grappling hook discharged from her hair dryer and a rope spooled out. The grappling hook lodged itself in the ceiling and Yori grabbed Ron and swung down to the floor, where they separated and assumed combat poses.
"Nrgrah!" groaned Drakken in frustration. "Shego!"
As cool techno music played from hidden loudspeakers, the mad scientist's beautiful enforcer leaped into view. Although she was only Kim's height, her curvy athletic figure radiated power. Her tan skin matched her teased brunette hair. Her cruel brown eyes clashed with her green and black outfit
"Hi, Kimmy!" Bonnie smiled as she struck a martial arts pose. "Ready for a beating you won't forget?"
Yori's eyes betrayed no fear. On the contrary, she smiled in anticipation. "It will be my honor to defeat you!"
With an aggressive growl, Bonnie lunged at Yori, attempting to rake her with her gloved fingers. Yori leaped over Bonnie's charge and struck the bratty cheerleader with a back kick as she landed. "Ron-san! It will be your honor to stop the countdown!"
"AAAGH!" Bonnie screamed as she rolled on the ground and curled into a fetal position. "Time out!"
"What's wrong now Bonnie?" Ron asked wearily.
"I'm hurt!" Bonnie groaned as her eyes flashed in anger. "Your female Jackie Chan nearly kicked my spleen out!"
"Ron-san, you told me that Shego knew how to fight," Yori protested.
"She does… I think," Ron stammered guiltily. "I mean, the Bonnie clones didn't seem to feel pain. They were ferocious!"
"Call nine-one-one!" Bonnie groaned.
"Ron-san, I have shamed myself," Yori bowed in apology. "I must return home and purify myself. I am sorry, but I cannot dishonor you by staying."
As Yori walked away, Ron shouted after her. "What? Sure you can! This story is all about dishonor! What about chapter eleven, Yori? Chapter eleven! Come back…!" the boy whined.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Drakken muttered, "and that's a pain in the patootie because my doctor told me not to lift heavy weights!"
"Ah come on!" Ron whined. "Bonnie, you aren't hurt that bad, are you? Come on, get up!"
"I really hate you," the girl growled venomously.
"Man…" Ron walked away and pulled out what appeared to be a portable video game. "Wade patch me in to Kim."
"Can do," a boy's voice replied from the little gadget.
"Kim come in," Ron said. "We really need you here."
Meanwhile miles above the Pacific Ocean, a commercial jet was heading west to the tropical island of Hawaii.
"Wow, first class, evil really pays sometimes," Kim said to her criminal counterpart.
"It pays big in money, but not so much in the personal department," Shego told her. "I tell you, it's hard to watch A Christmas Carol sometimes."
"I can imagine," the redhead nodded. The familiar chime of her communications device was heard. "Whoops the Kimmunicator," she said as she operated a device strapped to her wrist. "I gotta take this. What's the sitch, Wade?"
"Kim? It's me Ron. Have you and Shego changed your minds about the porn story yet?"
"No, and I don't think we're gonna," Kim frowned. "Honestly Ron, that story is horrible! Shego and I spend most of the time tied up and naked while every villain in the series has their way with us!" There was a pause. "Ron? Are you still there?"
"Sorry Kim," Ron's voice apologized. "I kind of spaced out after you mentioned you and Shego being tied up and naked…"
"Boys," Kim grumbled. "Look Ron, that story is too sick for an adult site, let alone this one. Let it go!"
"Come on, Kim you don't have to do all eighteen chapters," Ron begged. "Just hold out until chapter eleven, that's all I'm asking. Most writers are lazy and don't finish their stories anyway!"
"Ron! The Seniors ravish us in chapter twelve!" Kim snarled. "Honestly, have you even read this story you love so much?"
"Uh… I'm not actually in most of it aside of the first chapter and chapter eleven…" Ron admitted.
"This thing is sick! Let it go!"
"Come on, Kim you've been in Kigos before…"
"Ron!" Kim scolded. "Look at the script! It's not a Kigo, it's a snuff film. I have been in lots of Kigos! Some of them were works of art! I have been in Kigos written so well that even bigoted homophobes wept at their beauty! Romances! Adventures! Comedies! Tragedies! Drama! They may not have been canon, but they were beautiful stories that featured redemption contrasted with a romance that many find hard to accept. I have nothing against Kigos! What I have is a problem with is smut! And this story you love so much is the dirtiest piece of garbage that ever polluted the internet!"
"Ya got that right," Shego snorted. "It's so bad, Larry Flynt wouldn't touch it! Brrrr!" she shivered in disgust.
"Sorry Ron, but this one's a no go," Kim finished. "See you in the next one, okay? Bye?" She deactivated her Kimmunicator, ending the transmission.
"So your little sidekick wants us to go through with that garbage, huh?" Shego asked from her seat. "Boy, that guy has a twisted villain in him dying to come out."
"No he doesn't!" Kim frowned.
"Honestly Princess, if he hadn't met you at an early age he would have grown up to be a villain," Shego commented.
"Well, he didn't," Kim stammered. "Ron's not that way… He just needs some direction sometimes…"
"I'll say," Shego nodded. "You better keep a short leash on him or he'll do an Anakin Skywalker on you faster that you can say 'computer porn'."
Kim bit her lip and looked out the window nervously.
TBC…?