I know, I know. It's been forever. Before you ask, I have been working on Lunacy and will update/finish it soon. What does soon mean? Don't ask and you won't be disappointed. I have been working on it enough recently to need a break though so in the meantime I've decided to revisit this one.

Another stumbling imagination moment occurred while reading a Chihagura doujin, this time Amasahikaeme, which you should probably read beforehand. Typical disclaimer: scenario to Hachi, all else to ZUN. If you haven't read it, Eirin turns Eientei into a sexy cafe for fun and Tewi leads Mokou there. Shenanigans ensue as she and Kaguya basically try to tease each other as much as possible. Kaguya wins (sort of) but has to humiliate herself to do so, and when Mokou tries to leave she can't pay her enormous bill and is forced to start working there.

Mokou's feet could hardly carry her out fast enough, but she nonetheless resisted the urge to fly in the vain hope that she would not betray her eagerness any more than she already had. Leaving the princess mired in incredulity and fuming, dumbstruck, behind her, she nearly knocked the front counter over in her haste to get out the door. Unfortunately, before she could leave she noticed that Reisen was watching her with an eerily playful smile and abruptly froze. Hopefully it looked like she wanted her bill, and not like she was afraid of whatever was making the rabbit so happy.

Reisen began tallying off a list of purchases that sounded like an entire menu. Unbidden, the image of the rabbit surrounded by sweets and snacks while dressed in her absurdly revealing clothing invaded Mokou's head, distracting her totally from whatever meaning Reisen's girly voice carried.

"Your total comes to 200,000!" Mokou blinked.

Her perception didn't cut through the nauseatingly cheerful falsetto at first, but the magnitude of the number soon sank in and turned Mokou's flustered impatience into horror. Her instinct to flee clashed with her confusion and frustration, and it took her just too long to get herself back under control and make a run for it. Before the color had time to drain from her face she was pulled back roughly by the shoulder, still trying to stammer out some incredulous curse.

"She's not done Inaba, keep the check open!" Kaguya's smile and voice vied to overtake her servant's artificial enthusiasm. Outwardly, she looked more charming and docile than ever, but the strength of the grip on Mokou's shoulder was enough to make the muscles in her arm seize. She found herself forced back into a booth with Kaguya close behind while Reisen squeaked "'kay!" behind them. The princess glared at her with a wide-eyed, happy gaze that Mokou suddenly found chilling.

"About to dine and dash, were we? And you accuse me of being a bad person."

"What!" Mokou shouted, much too loudly at first, then hissed "what! This is nothing like what you did to me. Still do to me. In fact, your stupid cafe is at fault here!" Momentarily forgot about her circumstances, even about the wonderfully skimpy outfit that was gradually slipping off the girl crawling in beside her, it occurred to Mokou how much attention she might have just called to their table, and as she looked around it was clear that the restaurant's other guests were rushing to look elsewhere.

Kaguya crossed her arms in an attempt to project authority, but then remembered what they were covering and shrugged outwards instead. "How far do you think you'd've made it before Eirin found you? I wouldn't make her angry right now, not while she's obsessing over this little project." Mokou didn't respond. Kaguya might be right, but there was no way, even if she had wanted to, that she would be paying her bill.

It seemed like Kaguya hadn't moved her eyes for a while, and Mokou realized, peripherally, that they were locked on her own. Then she realized where her own eyes had fallen and quickly moved them up to her hostess' much too close face. Damn. I have to ask. This was beyond humiliating…

"I can get you out of here Mokou."

…or not…

Kaguya was kneeling low on the bench now, her shiny hair hanging from the giant flowers pinned in it and her bare legs visible from hip to stocking. She was sitting so close that one knee was digging into Mokou's hip and the other was pressed firmly on her leg. The only things her gown seemed to be covering were her forearms, chest (barely), and groin. Mokou tried to lean back, but the princess could lean in just as far. Despite the coveted body (not coveted by her, of course) so well showcased before her, she suddenly found herself unable to look away from Kaguya's big, round eyes. This might be too good to be true.

"…Without paying?…"

Kaguya grinned, and those big eyes narrowed, but not with their earlier hostility. "I knew it. Yes, without paying. But you can't come back until Eirin forgets about this. No more complicating things." Mokou thought better of accusing Eirin of being the one introducing complications. "You just need to follow my instructions." Kaguya let her gaze fall, finding a distraction in her perfect nails, casually flexing her digits before her face and nodding in satisfaction. Mokou pretended to think as she watched, idly tapping the table with her own shaking fingers.

"Do it."

"Oh, like you have a choice."

Already sitting much more tightly against Mokou than was necessary for a booth that could easily seat three, Kaguya lazily extended the leg resting on Mokou's knee, briefly letting her perfect limb lie straight and prone in the other girl's trembling lap, before hooking it around her far leg and dragging herself across to straddle her client in one smooth motion, all while never breaking her stare.

Mokou's spine instantly went rigid and the back of her head hit the booth loudly when she tried to pull away, but if she had hurt herself she couldn't feel it. The princess was not heavy but the weight on her thighs still commanded her entire attention. Even through the thick cloth of her trousers it was obvious that whatever Kaguya wore beneath her dress was no more conservative than the outfit itself. She was hardly letting any of her weight rest on her knees either, instead splaying her legs as far as possible, almost sitting between them.

She's really flexible.

Kaguya's expression was now much more shy, the aggression that had been apparent seconds before had vanished. Her head was tilted innocently, although her eyes betrayed—or perhaps feigned—what seemed like longing. She bent forward so that she was looking up at Mokou (who still could lean back no further), let her arms hang straight down, pinned her hands against Mokou's upper thighs to support herself, and let the weight of her sleeves drag the cloth covering her chest down even further. It must have looked to those who didn't see it as if it had been Mokou who had pulled her into this position.

And then she didn't move. Mokou was still frozen, now so shocked that she had forgotten about her circumstances, but the pause went so long that she was able to catch up to herself enough to form a thought. For some reason she was excruciatingly aware of Kaguya's toes flexing against the sides of her legs, tugging at her trousers, even more than at the other obvious points of contact. She took a deep breath.

"Wha…"

"I don't believe you."

Mokou blinked. "Um, what? Believe m…"

"I don't believe you have an errand. At all."

Kaguya leaned back, and with some guilt Mokou found she missed the pressure on her thighs. The princess began twirling a lock of her black hair, feeling it between her fingertips, staring distantly for an instant before shifting her eyes back to Mokou's. "You don't, do you?"

"What?" Mokou hissed back. "Kaguya, get me out of here!"

Accusation seeped into Kaguya's voice. "Dishonesty is not going to help you."

"This is so… dammit!" Closing her eyes and clenching her fists, Mokou exhaled in defeat. "Fine. You're obviously right. I just wanted to leave. Now help me!"

Instead, Kaguya just smiled in satisfaction. "Just like I thought. So rude, you really have no idea how to treat a lady."

Mokou was ready to scream. "Lady!"

"That's right. Princess actually. Not just that, but to say my clothes are too revealing…" Mokou couldn't keep herself from snorting and looking down, earning a chilling glare that almost immediately warmed. "Well, maybe that's true, but everyone still said I was cute. Even if you're not the type to offer reassurance to a princess worried about her appearance, you should still qualify your remarks."

If Kaguya had ever truly worried about her appearance it would have shocked Mokou. "Kaguya, I don't know what you're talking about, just get me out of here." The princess still ignored her.

"I mean it's fine to say it's too indecent, although that is very mean. But you should still say whether or not you think my clothes are cute." She paused expectantly.

"I'm leaving."

Mokou tried to get up, but Kaguya had the advantage of position and pinned her back by her shoulders. Their torsos were suddenly even closer than their faces, and Mokou had to jam her hands deep into her pockets to keep the princess from discovering the reflexive clutching that the firm grip on her shoulders was causing.

"No."

Kaguya didn't whisper this time, and Mokou shivered at the soft, determined vibration that returned in her voice. "I've been wearing this embarrassing outfit all day, clients are supposed to think it's cute. I know you're lying, I told you I wouldn't help you if you lied, just tell me honestly what you think of it like everyone else!"

"This is so ridiculous Kaguya!" Mokou still whispered. There was no way she could have kept her voice from cracking.

"Mokou, I'm not helping you if you don't apologize for how you behaved earlier. What you did was really humiliating."

"You humiliated yourself! I didn't dress you Kaguya!" Looking side to side as if to see if anyone was watching, Mokou waited for Kaguya to respond, but the princess just stared at her, waiting. Damn. By what logic did it fall to her to fix this? "They look… it's… Kaguya, they're…" wonderful, she thought, which startled her so much that she said "cute," with far more honesty than she intended.

The bluntness of her confession surprised them both, but Kaguya recovered first, smiled, and started bouncing on her legs. Just when Mokou thought she had become used to the pressure, this new rhythmic increase and decrease was thrown in to tax her attention further.

"Wow, Mokou," she looked away, flustered. "So forward, so unlike you."

Exposed, Mokou had nowhere to retreat. "Stop teasing me Kaguya. I said what you wanted, now help me."

"Be patient. This needs some time to work."

Kaguya went back to examining herself, satisfied that unanimous opinion on her outfit's attractiveness had been restored. Mokou's attentions inevitably followed Kaguya's hands and eyes as they went on their little odyssey: slender forearms, thin necklace, flowery hairpins, loose sleeves, firm hips, adjusting little by little like a musician tuning an instrument, before coming to rest on her splayed legs, tugging at the tantalizingly soft-looking cloth of her just-too-tight stockings, and finally resting in an affectionate squeeze on her bare upper thighs. The hands in her pockets were unconsciously clutching at her own thighs, Mokou realized, as if trying to mimic those of the girl in her lap, perhaps frustrated with the poor substitute. A sudden thought seemed to occur to the princess, who stopped moving and looked suddenly curious.

"I think I've gained weight," she said, and then just paused as if she had asked a question.

…

Oh, gods above.

Barely managing to keep herself from smiling as Mokou's face went paler than her hair, Kaguya once again let her body rest on the girl's legs. Mokou's squirming extremities had frozen in place, completely overtaken by shock. Teasing the princess for her weight might have been commonplace on a normal day, and—if Mokou was completely honest—she was not always one to make a priority out of maintaining her figure herself, but there was no way at all to tell what Kaguya wanted to hear now. To try to flatter her was to disagree, so she might seem dishonest, and if she did agree… who knew? Kaguya had kept repeating honesty, so…

She had no idea, but it didn't matter. This was the only way out. Unbelievable. Kaguya would pay for this one day, better not keep her waiting.

"Maybe…" Mokou began, and Kaguya's face fell at the word. Mokou could have sworn that it hadn't been totally feigned. It was a little frustrating that she might be about to reverse that effect, and also a little frustrating that it wasn't completely frustrating. "But if you have, I don't think you need to worry about where you have." Inwardly, Mokou flinched. It was a worse attempt than she had hoped at balancing insult with complement, but the effect seemed nonetheless to be fine.

A brief but genuinely happy expression crossed Kaguya's face before her bright, wide eyes narrowed again. This time, though, they narrowed not out of suspicious malice but into a look of suggestive, flirtatious desire.

"That was a little mean. You're not exactly an athlete, you know."

So that's what it was all about. Fishing for complements that could be turned around as insults. Kaguya gave Mokou's belly a poke, and Mokou liked to think she found it slightly firmer than she had hoped. "You're enjoying this aren't you Kaguya? Being all girly and pretending you're ashamed? Indulging yourself with no restraint fits your personality perfectly."

Kaguya's face reddened, both in anger and in a sudden onset of shyness that, like before, could have been real. "I'm the one still helping you, so what does that say about me? Besides, whatever indulgences I may prefer are certainly outshone by your nearly fetishistic taste for self-deception."

Mokou's fists were raised before the princess finished and she very nearly erupted then, but Kaguya's composure returned in an instant and her next question made Mokou forget entirely about the tirade that preceded it. Hands clasped, fingers entwined, upper arms squeezing her chest out, Kaguya let her gaze bore through the confused and enraged girl beneath her.

"It's still fine if you say you want to see, Mokou."

The physical reality of her senses immediately flooded Mokou's mind, which was forced to abandon Kaguya's confusing, if not unwarranted, outburst. One of Kaguya's long fingers found the upper edge of her loose dress, hooking over it and sliding along slowly, in obvious contact with the flesh beneath, a few short inches from Mokou's face. Kaguya slid the finger towards the center of her chest, dragging it between the two overlapping pieces of cloth and exposing more and more generously her cleavage to Mokou's favorably-angled gaze. Even though she should have been chilled in such an outfit, not a single goose bump was visible on her taught skin; every newly exposed inch looked more smooth and inviting than the last. Mokou's thighs were warm where the princess was sitting, and she was shocked that she hadn't noticed it until now. Only one thought could take a coherent form in her head: yeah, she's enjoying this.

"Do you?"

Mokou's eyes instinctively flicked up to Kaguya's face in preparation for an emphatic denial, but when they fell there they stayed, confused by the disappointed expression the princess wore. As though she had been waiting, Kaguya finally gave up, withdrawing her fingertips from her dress.

"God, you really are an idiot Mokou." And this time Mokou's temper had no time to flare before Kaguya had fallen fully against her.

Unfortunately for Mokou her hands were no longer in her pockets, but by her sides in the fists she had made only a moment before. This meant that Kaguya could do whatever she wanted with them. While it was likely that her hands had tightened even more, they almost sprung open when Kaguya's fingertips found the gaps in which to entwine themselves. No doubt Mokou would claim it was totally involuntary. For now Kaguya pulled them to her own hips—maybe a little lower, but still on cloth—and once satisfied that the pliant Mokou was not going to remove them she used her own to toy with Mokou's suspenders behind her back while her lips found her earlobe.

"I was hoping…"

The sudden, hot stream of damp air in her ear made Mokou reflexively pull away, and while it frustrated Kaguya to have her sentence cut off the tense squeeze of her hips more than satisfied her desire to sense the impact she was having, and in reward she pulled the girl closer to her, pressing her flat against the back of the bench. She brought one hand up to Mokou's head to push it back to her own, and this time used it to hold her there, tangling it in her hair.

"I… was… hoping…" with every word Kaguya exhaled more deeply, each time eliciting the same, shivering reaction from the trapped Mokou. "…you would have figured this out yourself, but there are rules here."

Mokou stopped moving, so Kaguya let her hand return to the suspender strap, before apparently thinking better of it and moving back to Mokou's hands. "And if clients break the rules, they might get kicked out…" Mokou's hands loosened, and the rest of her body slackened as well. She held her breath and listened.

Kaguya smiled. Mokou could feel it against her ear.

"For example..."

Mokou felt her hands being dragged sideways, until they found Kaguya's outer thighs. Her resistant fingertips couldn't be brought to press themselves into this new, bare skin, even though her palms were held against it with considerable force.

"Touching the girls inappropriately…"

Now her hands were forced to slide over Kaguya's soft (maybe slightly fleshy) skin, and Kaguya could detect the stress in the muscles of Mokou's arms as the conflicted impulses to be controlled and to involuntarily move themselves further and further back forced them to tighten from moment to moment. Mokou was still resisting, but she let out the breath she had been holding and that release immediately made her aware of how fast her heart was beating. Drawing in a new lungful of air was made almost impossible by Kaguya's playful bites at her neck, but she was satisfied to feel that her own breathing was only slightly more labored than Kaguya's. Unfortunately, the satisfaction was short lived, as she suddenly realized where her hands were going.

"Will get you kicked out immediately."

Kaguya forced Mokou's fingers into the bare expanse of muscle and pliable skin of her backside, and when she felt the girl tense violently she leaned back, sitting on both of their pairs of hands. Mokou was pulled forward by the limited reach of her arms, but they still managed to find the other's eyes and both reflexively searched for the expressions that would fit their current situation.

But their hands gave them away before they could resume their facades. Mokou's both squeezed unconsciously, and the way Kaguya's fingertips followed meant she had noticed the unmistakeable gesture. But when Mokou tried to withdraw upon being discovered she found her hands pushed back, encouragingly, and Kaguya even adjusted her stance to make herself easier to feel. Kaguya's deeply flushed face made Mokou dread the idea of knowing what she herself looked like.

"I… want to see." Mokou said.

"There," Kaguya smiled. "Honesty."

Bringing her hands out and sitting back down on Mokou's, Kaguya spared no suggestive gesture she could muster. Never letting her hands leave her body, she moved them up over her stomach and beneath her beautifully rounded breasts, lazily palming them one by one and lifting them as though reassuring herself of their weight. She would have known, even without looking, that Mokou's eyes were glued expectantly to her chest, where her fingers were spacing themselves fully to demonstrate the surface area of her chest.

Her eyes may have been static but Mokou's hands were taking free reign, missing no opportunity to further her chances of forceful eviction. Moving down the undersides of Kaguya's thighs to the edge of her stockings, Mokou's hands found that the bare skin beneath her legs was actually ticklish, and when her nails crept back upwards it elicited a rewarding sharp inhalation from Kaguya who further spread her legs. Letting her hands wander onto Kaguya's stockings—which were indeed as soft to the touch as they had looked—Mokou pushed Kaguya's knees further apart and was rewarded for the suggestion when Kaguya let herself slide forwards along Mokou's thighs. Mokou let herself slide down too, so that the warmth of Kaguya's groin was now pressed against her belly. The tight stockings that corralled the tender flesh underneath eventually led Mokou's hands to Kaguya's ankles, and then the soles of her feet. If her upper legs were ticklish…

Screaming with laughter may have been what Kaguya's reflexes commanded her to do, but she managed to contain herself, barely. Her eyes went wide and the hands on her chest immediately squeezed tightly and loosened, unresponsive to her instructions, grasping at air or clutching the fabric of her dress. Delighted by her discovery, Mokou backed off. Increasing the intensity if her ministrations might actually floor the princess, and that exposure would compromise her escape. As it was, even a light brush of her fingertips was enough to coax a satisfying bout of squirming out of Kaguya that would make her involuntarily grind herself against her.

Deciding Mokou had had enough fun, Kaguya got her attention with a squeeze of her legs, and gently, teasingly, slowly, but completely pulled apart the cloth covering her chest. Mokou, as expected, froze. Her dress hung open and low, the mass of useless fabric protecting her from eyes to either side but leaving nothing covering her front above her waist but a few loose strand of black hair.

For Mokou it was an odd moment, sitting there under the expectant stare of the princess, it was almost anticlimactic. Not the sight of the girl's revealed naked breasts, hanging firmly before her, but the fact that she had expected the moment to seem more like crossing a boundary. Instead, here she was feeling exactly as she had a moment before, staring at Kaguya's pale breasts and the sizable pink areolae at their centers, finding herself unfulfilled. They must feel firm, she thought, but probably softer than her own: they were just slightly larger, and even looked larger naked now that their full roundness was discernible. It would be easier to compare if she could touch them, with her hand, maybe, or her lips…

"So this is allowed?" Mokou asked without looking up. Kaguya's face was close enough to register in her peripheral vision anyways.

"Not really."

Mokou breathed in. Okay.

Her fingertips once again brushed the souls of Kaguya's feet, and her suspicion that the princess' guard had been lowered was confirmed. Kaguya yelped, and when her back tensed at the tickling sensation her chest was involuntarily pushed forward, breasts bouncing once to Mokou's satisfaction, and she scrambled keep it from becoming visible elsewhere. They weren't being watched, but even so, her instincts led her to lean in closer to Mokou, putting up her arms to shield her sides and grabbing the girl's shirt to support herself. If she weren't uncovered she would have immediately began searching for some equivalent vulnerability in the girl beneath her, but it turned out that Mokou was not planning a follow-up attack. Kaguya's new position had been the girl's only intention.

The feeling of foreign hands on her breasts was not an alien sensation to someone who bathed daily with a retinue of servants, but these circumstances were new to Kaguya in that Mokou had apparently decided to forgo any pretext of affection or utility. Her hands were both in place, palms pushing from below and fingers splayed, middle knuckles sliding over her solid nipples, and it occurred to Kaguya that, at least for now, Mokou had no designs on her satisfaction. She was being felt up. It was somewhat odd to Kaguya not to be the object of affections that went beyond the superficial, but she found she didn't mind it, and leaned in to wrap her arms around the Mokou's neck to draw her closer, pressing her chest against Mokou's hands, bizarrely confident that her assets would be more than satisfying to the girl beneath her who seemed to be taking inventory.

Mokou's fingers were as unsuccessful as her eyes had been, both at finding any flaws and at overcoming the strange feeling she still felt. Kaguya's skin was smooth, no less so on her breasts than on her thighs or elsewhere. In fact, without knowing by sight, or by the thinner skin around her firm nipples, or by a full sense of their shape, there would have been no way to distinguish the them from any other fleshy body part by texture alone. She squeezed once, softly, then harder, sensing the increasing tactile resistance. Every time they sprung back satisfyingly, reassuring Mokou of what she was touching.

Completely by accident, one nipple was pinched between Mokou's extended fingers when she brought them together. Neither had been expecting it, and Kaguya's startled response, tensing up and inhaling more loudly than she had at any of Mokou's previous ministrations, made Mokou's hands clench further. Mokou smiled as the unfulfilled feeling disappeared. Found it.

Kaguya had grabbed two fistfuls of Mokou's shirt at the jarring shock that had made her seize up. She felt her tender flesh being released, and relaxed, but she had only just begun to loosen her grip when both her nipples were grabbed again and squeezed hard, not enough to be really painful but definitely harder than before. She couldn't stop a squeaky moan from escaping into Mokou's neck, where she pressed her face to stifle it.

As pleasant as Mokou found this it occurred to her she was drawing it out, and that Kaguya might not kick her out without escalating things further. This couldn't be allowed to go on much longer if she didn't want to seem to be enjoying it, so she gave Kaguya's nipples one last pinch before letting her fingertips spread again, and pushing her startled rival back.

"Wha..."

Kaguya was cut off by the lips that were placed over her own open mouth much more gently than the shove that had pushed her into the uncomfortable edge of the table. The loose contact made her relax, and her slackening legs presented the perfect leverage to Mokou, who used them to lift the princess onto the table. Kaguya's eyes widened in surprise. She was now pinned and fighting to back away from the invasive lips that had never left her own, jolted again when Mokou's tongue slid past their lips and over her own, which was apparently incapable of not responding in turn after only a single mild lick. The unanticipated sensations clouded her mind, all jostling for attention, there seemed to be some urgent event happening everywhere on her body and she had to fight her instincts to respond.

But one pattern suddenly cut through all the others, silencing them all, as Mokou's hand followed her thigh to where it met her torso. Hardly had one fingertip brushed the hem of her panties before Kaguya screamed and lashed out, kicking Mokou in the stomach, and knocking herself off the table.

The attention of nearby customers and servers was on them now, a disheveled and vulnerable Kaguya sitting in the aisle and clutching her loose clothes to her chest while Mokou struggled to recover from being winded at a moment of comfortable pleasure. Seeing the princess there, her eyes pleading with her colleagues and seemingly on the verge of tears, her heart lifted. She did her best to seem like an animal that realized it was trapped in the sights of a hunter with a drawn bow.

"Inaba! Eirin!" Kaguya expended all of her breath in the cry, drawing another shakily before going on. "She... she tried... I..."

After a few seconds of pretending she couldn't go on, Kaguya looked up at Mokou shyly before immediately turning away. Oh, good job Kaguya.

Mokou was elated even though her mind was still jumping between her happiness at the imminent success of her escape plan and the contact that was still far too fresh in her memory to be ignored, igniting an itch wherever she remembered some physical connection. Whatever, she thought. Reisen looked shocked, and the other eyes on them bored into her accusingly. Here it comes...

"Mokou can take her new bill whenever she is ready." Eirin said from behind them, startling them. "Tewi heard you say it was all fine."

And everyone more or less went back to their business.

Mokou paled. Kaguya became quite flustered at being caught, but quickly regained her composure and looked up at her fellow immortal. She still hadn't fixed her clothes.

"I guess this is kind of your fault when you think about it, Mokou."

And before Mokou could respond to the princess, or even burst into flames, Reisen and her huge grin stood between them.

So yeah… This was a little too derivative for me, a direct parody of an indirect parody. But I just had to do it. Actually, thinking about it more deeply, even IN is a parody since Kaguya is really from Tale of the Bamboo Cutter, so fuck it. I can swear in M-ratings, right? Is this even M? Sorry to disappoint if it isn't. And you all thought that rating change would be a bigger deal.

Review this and maybe it'll make me write faster, but probably not. Also, thanks to Sone Anna if you're out there, someone let me know this fic had been recommended on TVTropes a while back and I'm glad you thought highly enough of it to suggest it to others. Cheers.

I actually went back and read that when I was writing this. Man, it's been a while. Hopefully this is an improvement.

Also, didn't notice until it was done but in the book the booths are drawn only to shoulder height, so if one of you noticed… let's just say they went to a different table.