Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the reviews, it truthfully means alot! (:
I think I'm gunna continue writing the story and see how it goes! (:
I am legit so excited for the degrassi season finale!
Oh and btw- the story is going to be in Eli's POV!
Chapter Title Inspired by: "Echo" by Jason Walker
Chapter Two
"Try To Chase The Crazy Right Out Of My Head"
ELI'S POV
The expression across her face was shocked- looking as if she had been taken back by all of it. I could say the same for myself. The mere fact that my eyes had caught her's had taken my breath away. Everything seemed to be returned back to the first day of Junior year, when I looked straight at her - knowing that she was going to end up meaning some thing special to me. She wasn't just any girl - She was Clare Edwards.
"I uhm-" She was at a loss for words, managing to attempt to get out some type of greeting, response- anything. "I haven't seen you since high school"
The obvious she had brought to my attention - but I suppose it was better then her turning around and walking out, acting like she had never seen me in the first place. I slightly smirked, the right side of my mouth curving into a smile, as the other side stayed straight.
"I know, it's been way too long" A silence disrupted the both of us. Leaving us just staring at each other, after moments of ongoing quietness - "Do you want to sit down and get some coffee?" I asked
"No I can't" My smile dropped down to an almost frown, "I'm waiting for Jake" My stomach dropped at the sound of his name. I hated Jake, everything about him. He had ruined all of us - Everything.
"You're still with that guy?" I asked, trying to hold back the emotions that begged to pour out.
"Three good long years" I almost felt like she was rubbing it in my face. I let out a deep breath
"That's great" I think she could almost see the sarcasm that I attempted so hard to stop. Her head slightly tilted and she gave me the famous Clare Edwards look - one that described she was slightly disappointed in the statement that I said. How did she expect me to respond? Congratulate her for staying with a guy that I can't stand?
"No it's great- go hang out with Jake. I'm gonna head out of here" I said, standing up and walking past her, as if she never mattered to me at all.. I could see her head turn and watch me walk out the door.
I walked home - in a worse state of mind then I was before I left my apartment.
I entered my apartment, to hear music blaring. I already was aware of who the music was coming from, but the fact that they were in my apartment, where they did not live, was the part that surprised me the most.
I entered the living room, turning the corner to see no one else, but Adam Torres. I gave him a look of confusion, as I took my jacket off and threw it at the couch - being fed up with all those around me. He gave me a head nod and smirked
"Whats got your panties in a bunch?" He asked, turning the music down, the same old Adam humor that he's had since the first day I met him.
"Talking about it may cause me to go on a violent rampage"
"That bad, huh?"
"Bad enough, believe me" I said, sitting down,
"Lay it on me- what's the drama?" I sighed, not even having the urge to explain it.
"Imogen lost it on me today. She went on a psychotic rampage, claiming that I was 'stuck in the past' and 'looking for problems in what she seemed to believe was a perfect relationship'." I explained
"Ooh, stuck in the past? Clare Edwards referrence?" If anyone knew every detail about Clare and my breakup - it was Adam. Therefore, he's always the first to say her name, the first to bring memories up, and the first to make me feel worse about how horribly things ended. I'm not saying it's his fault for anything - cause if anything, he's helped me - but laying off saying her name eight times a day would be great too.
"Isn't it always?" I replied; Adam nodded,
"Go on"
"Well, it ended in her screaming at me, claiming we were done, and she was speeding out the door" I ended the story
"Ouch" Adam responded, "She'll come around"
"No, believe me, it gets better" As I said this, Adam looked like an excited puppy - begging to hear more of my dramatic life, "I bumped in to someone today"
I allowed the suspense to rise, waiting to see if he had the guts to guess or not
"Who?" He said, almost yelling in excitement to hear.
"I entered the Dot, only to enter into a mess of memories" I paused, "Clare Edwards" Adam's jaw dropped "We had a five second conversation, which ended badly - not surprising, but true"
"How'd it end?" He asked,
"I asked if she wanted coffee, she said she couldn't because her three year long boyfriend Jake was coming to get her. So I did the type of thing that Eli always seems to do.. I stormed out"
"Not surprising" Adam said "Pretty big low blow for her to throw out her love story about Jake at you" He paused "What're you going to do?"
"What can I do? Imogen hates me"
"No - about Clare"
"Clare's not even an option anymore.. I haven't seen her in years and the time that I finally do - she brags about her perfect relationship that consists of three long years of happiness" I said, making myself more upset then I let it show, "I don't stand a chance.. I never did"
Adam looked disappointed - like he was sad for me. I don't need pity, but I can't blame someone for giving it when I'm acting this depressed over one girl.
"What can you do, ya know" He said - giving that feeling off like he agreed that I didn't stand a chance - that Clare left me for one of those typical jocks who think they own the world around them.
And no, this wasn't the meds talking and this wasn't me acting overly jealous like everyone seems to think I do - this was me being realistic.
Jake ripped me and Clare's relationship from the roots. He kept stepping in between- calling her, texting her, doing anything he possibly could to even catch eye contact with her. He did everything that I couldn't do - and that was to win by popularity.
I woke up rather early - 7:30 A.M. - which was unusual for a guy who usually sleeps in till 1.
The sun burned my eyes as I sighed. I'd rather sleep for hours, than have to face reality right now. I stumbled out of bed, grabbing a pair of baggier jeans and a black t-shirt and throwing it on. I wasn't too concerned on my looks at this point - to be honest, I just needed to think straight.
I walked out of my apartment, with my car keys in hand. I entered my car and slowly turned the keys in the ignition.
A huge confession would be the fact that I would do anything in the world to get Morty back. I've hated every single car since Morty and I regret the damage I inflicted on that hearse. I don't care how crazy it may sound for a boy to drive around in a hearse- I am proud that I did and wish that I still was.
I pulled up to the Dot. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach - having small flashbacks of last night. Remembering seeing her was hard enough, but having to go back to the place where I just happened to bump in to her was even worse.
But I wasn't here for her.
I was here to make things right.
I entered the Dot and approached the counter. I ordered two coffees to go and awaited for the waiter to return with them.
I had both coffees in hand, exiting the Dot.
Eventually enough, I found myself standing in front of a familiar door. Holding both coffees - my hands shaking and my brain seeming to be out of my head. I was nervous. I was a nervous wreck actually. I stuck one coffee in between my arm and my chest - in order to free my other hand so that I could knock on the door.
The sound of the knocking echoed in my ears - sounding more like gun shots, if anything. I closed my eyes, and bit my bottom lip. Basically praying for an answer - to see her face - to hear her voice - to have some thing good happen for a change. I could feel the air hit me as the door flung open. I let out a deep breath as I slowly opened my eyes.
Imogen stood there, with an angry look on her face. She quickly grabbed the door - going to close it right on me.
I basically threw my foot inbetween the door and the wall - making it impossible for her to close
"What Eli?" She screamed, angrily.
"Talk" -the only word I managed to get out "I think we should talk" I quickly restated.
"About what?" She asked "Your past? Clare?" the amount of attitude that she was giving was unnecessary, but I guess in the long run- it was understandable.
"Us" I told her, I felt like it might trigger a certain feeling for where she would actually want to talk.
And I was right
"Fine, come in" She responded. She stepped aside, giving me room to enter. I slowly walked in - feeling awkward enough as it is. I placed both the coffees on the table,
I turned around once I heard the door close. She stood there- her arms crossed, her facial expression that screamed 'I hate you.' I figured that she wasn't going to speak first, so I decided to
"I'm an idiot" I straight up began, "I'm selfish, I'm unappreciative, I'm a jerk, I'm crazy - I'm everything that could piss off anyone" I told her, "But I thought you were different. I thought you cared enough to stick around for all the rough times, I thought you loved me enough to not walk out on me. I thought I meant something to you"
"I thought I meant some thing to you too, Eli... But lately, it's been all about your past. Degrassi's like your obsession. Eli, you're nineteen years old and you're still reminiscing on past memories that I wasn't apart of" She paused, "I've been with you for two and a half years, Eli. For two and a half years, I have gone out of my way to try to make this the most enjoyable and loving relationship that I possibly could. But I can't keep competing with a girl that you only dated for six months but can't seem to forget"
"I forgot about her Imogen-"
She quickly interrupted, "What makes you think that I can believe you? All I ever hear is- Clare this or Clare that - It's always about Clare" She yelled
"But I want it to be about you" I told her, grabbing her hands and holding them in mine - trying to prove that I cared
"But it never will be about me, Eli" She told me, pulling her hands from mine- "Don't you get it? It's always gonna be about her" She paused for a couple of moments.. "And I can't be second to my own boyfriend. It's either I'm your first priority or I'm not even in the running.. And don't try saying that I am first because that's a damn lie and we both know it" Her voice was calmer but I could see the hurt in her eyes.
I was almost speechless.. Maybe she was right. Maybe she has always came second
She opened the door, giving me the message that it was my time to leave. I slowly walked out. I stopped walking the minute that I was outside the door. She slammed the door right against my back. My eyes immediately shut as I felt myself holding my breath.
I sat at the Dot.. It had been four and a half hours since I arrived here - and I didn't plan on leaving anytime soon. I couldn't even think straight. I had at least three coffees and had them coming time after time. Despite what Imogen thought, I didn't want to lose her. I am genuinely sad. I can't even imagine the thought of going on in my everyday life without talking to her and hanging out with her - overall, I can't imagine her not being mine.
My face was hidden in the palms of my hands, as I basically zoned out. I had no one to talk to - of course, I had Adam to talk to but I wasn't in the mood for his sarcastic remarks about how I lost everything the day I left Degrassi.
I didn't leave Degrassi by choice - if that's not obvious enough.
I was expelled. I was expelled for doing some thing I'm not proud of, but at the time seemed reasonable.
What I did was horrible and I know it was but.. I just want forgiveness from someone. Every one blames me for what happened.. but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I wasn't thinking straight. I can't take back what I did, I wish people would understand that and start forgiving me.
I lifted my face from my palms and looked up.
Second day in a row.
Two days out of the week.
Two times in the past 48 hours.
She was there.
Standing at the counter, staring forward at the waitress- waiting for her to take her order.
She was right in front of me.
She's avoided me for three years and all the sudden, she's popping up numerous times.
I felt my stomach drop for the millionth time this week. I became so nervous, as my eyes seemed to try so extremely hard to stop staring at her - but they couldn't seem to.
I just missed her.
I missed her laugh, the way she blushed everytime I kissed her, her complaining about how she had writer's block in English class - every stupid tiny little detail. I just missed it all.
She grabbed her coffee from the waitress and turned to find a seat. Her eyes instantly met mine and we both paused - completely still, no movement whatsoever, silence. The tension was almost unbearable. She finally moved, but not a good move
She turned to walk out the door, I immediately sprung out of my seat and found myself chasing after her.
She was outside, the darkness of the night approaching.
I finally caught up to her, only a few steps beyond the Dot. I stepped in front of her and placed my hands on her shoulders
"Clare" I said her name, trying to snap her back in to the fact that I used to actually mean something to her.
"Eli - stop"
"Why are you doing this?" I questioned
"Why are you acting like nothing happened?" I let out a deep breath
"I was hoping you forgave me"
"For what you did?" She asked, almost sarcastically "Eli, I don't think I can ever forgive you for that"
"I'm on meds now - I'm better"
"That doesn't change it" She replied, my hopes of something possibly happening was slowly shutting down "The only reason that I didn't completely run away from you last night was the small fact that I was too shocked to move. I've done everything I possibly can to ignore you since you got expelled. I quit my job and got one that's thirty minutes away. I stopped going to the Dot, I changed my number-"
I interrupted her - "Why do you think telling me all of this is going to make me feel better?"
"It's not supposed to - it's supposed to make you realize that I have no desire to talk things out" She stated, "Just please leave me alone" I stood there as she fastly walked past me. I didn't even turn to watch her leave,
Cause I knew if I did - it would bring back the same pain that I felt when she left me the first time.