A/N: I don't own anything, not even my house. Teehee. No seriously, all credit goes to Tolkein and Peter Jackson, for they are brilliant.

Chapter 2: In which Chloe pisses off some elves and the Woodland trust (no trees were harmed in the making of this fanfiction)

"Please child, come down from there. We need to explain your situation further!"

"No. Piss off! The only way that I am coming down is if you agree to send me back."

"You know my lady, the quickest way to get her down would be allowing me to shoot her in the leg. It would not harm her much."

I glared at the elf who made the comment. Shoot me in the leg indeed. Ha!

"If you even so much as think about shooting me, I'll jump on you. And then we'll see who can use their legs!"

"However much I respect your opinion Marchwarden, I believe we can solve this problem without resorting to maiming her." The Lady looked up to address me. "We will leave you to your thoughts Chloe, but staying up there will do you no good." And with one simple gesture all of the elves departed.

"Marchwarden eh? That must be Haldir then." I muttered.

I took a moment to analyse the situation that I had found myself in. Yes. I had run away and climbed up the nearest tree. The shame would come later, but right now I was more preoccupied with trying to get comfortable.

"Lets see who has the most patience" I thought.

I heard the the rustling of footsteps in the forest debris. I spun round and broke off a nearby twig from above my head and held it threateningly in the air.

"Come any closer and you'll have a piece of tree embedded in your eye."I shouted.

But my voice faltered. The figure looking up at me was a child of around ten years old.

"No not ten" I thought to myself "Elves have a much longer childhood than humans, she's probably like 50"

Her sweet voice rang out clear as a bell. "You are the human, aren't you?"

If Galadriel is using a small child to lure me out of a tree, then she is more heartless than I thought. But then again, elves are incapable of that kind of action.

"So what if I am? What is it to you?"

"The Lady has been feeling pain and remorse ever since she knew what she had to do. If she had it any other way, you would not be here."

Okay, wise words from a ten year old. I smell a rat.

"Galadriel sent you, didn't she?"

"No miss. I just don't like seeing people in sorrow. The Lady of the Wood can help you adjust to life here. Refusing her help is a bit stupid."

"Well sorry for freaking out. I guess when one dies and is transported to another world one should take it in their stride!" A quiet murmur rose into a deafening roar, and as I stared at the child with a look of pure hatred, I gave up. The elven child had tears in her eyes and was fighting to hold them back.

"Fine, I'll come down. I still want to go home, but I'll talk yo the Lady." I saw a look of pure joy light up the child's face. God if me coming down from a tree makes them happy then they sure need to get out more. "Hold on just a minute, I can't remember the way down."

"Then I will get the Marchwarden." The child said delightedly. "He knows every tree in the forest. He will be able to help you."

"No no no. I do not want him coming anywhere near me. He'll probably shoot me just to save the troub-"

My last words were cut off as the branch that I had stepped no snapped and I came hurtling to earth. My head hit the ground as I saw the young elf running off into the distance screaming blue murder.

"Damn!" I whispered.

A/N: Like I said. No trees were harmed in the making of this fanfiction.

R&R