This chapter is rated B for Branwens. Viewer discretion is advised. NOT!

Narrator: Team RWBY presents a lovely game show of their own creation, called...HOW DRUNK WAS QROW?

*Flashing lights dance across the stage, game show music plays*

Yang: Hi there, I'm Yang, your friendly neighbourhood pun-maker/host, and that lovely lady standing right next to me is my co-host Ruby!

Ruby: Hi, I'm Ruby.

Both: And this is…

Audience (AKA Team JNPR, Team SSUN, Team CFVY, and Team EMJI, Team STRQ, plus the Ozluminati (Glynda, Ozpin, Ironwood, and Qrow, who was drunk): HOW DRUNK WAS QROW?

Weiss: That's right! This is the show where we give you a real-life scenario, and on a scale of 1 to 44-

Ruby *fake-whispering*: Just like his age.

Weiss: And as I was saying, you guess on a scale of 0-44, how drunk Qrow Branwen was at that moment!

Yang: Alright, our first contestant is… Pyhrra! Pyhrra, how drunk was my good Uncle when he…

Trussed up my walkout of a mother, gift-wrapped her, and gave her to me as a birthday present?

Pyhrra: Your mom walked out? Gee, Yang, I'm sorry-

Yang: Just answer the question!

Blake: She has mommy issues.

Yang: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Pyhrra: Um… 42.989767728899626340721?

Yang: Incorrect! The answer was 42.9897677288996263407215! Release the hounds!

*The hounds are released, the audience applauds appreciatively as Pyhrra is mauled to death by the hounds*

Blake: Okay. Our next contestant is… Neptune.

Neptune: Yo. *Jazz hands*

Blake: Okay. How drunk was Qrow when he made Ruby her hood?

Neptune: Sober.

Blake: Correct. But since I hate your guts for some reason… Release the hounds, Smithers.

Qrow *From somewhere in the audience*: I knew I liked this kid!

*Smithers releases the hounds, and Neptune joins Pyhrra in the local hospital's ICU*

Ruby: Alrighty, our last contestant is Headmaster Ozpin, or as I like to call him, Ozzie-baby.

Ozpin: Dear God. Help me.

Ruby: Okie-dokie. How drunk was Qrow when he twerked in front of Winter to the song Make up Your Mind?

Ozpin: Oh God. There's a story for his wedding. I think… 84.

Ruby: Correct! Ladies, gentlemen, and Weiss, WE HAVE A WINNER! Professor, do you know what you just won?

Ozpin: No, I don't. Oh God, help me.

Ruby: The person of your choice getting mauled to death by the hounds!

Qrow *From somewhere in the audience*: I know who you should pick! I'll give you one hint! She's a shitty mom!

Raven: *Signature Raven Death Glare™*

Ozpin *Narrows eyes*: I think I'll choose… Raven. Because I don't think you're all that nice.

Raven: Wait, what? AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! *Violent death by hounds*

Ruby: I'm real sorry folks, but that's it for this time! Tune in next time for more of…

Audience: HOW DRUNK WAS QROW?

Ruby: Y'know, I think Qrow would enjoy that.

Yang: I don't think so, Rubes. What do you think, Ahsoka?

Ahsoka: Master Skywalker and SHARE A ROOM NOW because you moved in! HE SNORES! Ask Raven.

Yang: But I have no idea where my mom is.

Ahsoka: Look, I'm just gonna get this over with. Leave a review, favorite, follow, do whatever. Every bit helps.

Me: YAY!