Monster Hunter Gensokyo: Mirror
A Touhou fanfic written by Achariyth.
Disclaimer: Touhou Project belongs to ZUN. While this is not a true Touhou/MHI cross-over, enough MHI influence exists in the scenario that I will pull this fic if requested by representatives of ZUN, Larry Correia, or Baen Books and I also request that any other fansite that might post this work do the same.
The Bell 430 helicopter rolled sharply onto its side, dropping 100 meters in seconds before the pilot leveled out into normal flight. I shrieked as my stomach jumped into my throat, and then laughed hysterically, a wide smile on my face. From my girlish scream, no one would have suspected that I, Nitori Kawashiro, was a Monster Hunter.
Sure, I have flown before, but always under my own power, never under someone else's control like this. So far, there's nothing like a good helicopter ride to get the heart pumping faster. Before we took off, the pilot compared it to a roller coaster, whatever that might be. I'd like to take one apart to see how they work, but the flight engineer tackled me before I could get anywhere near the helicopter with my tools.
Next to me in the helicopter's cabin, Sanae Kochiya, my partner and team leader, held a hand over her mouth. Her skin matched the green of her hair, and she pawed at the back of the seat in front of her. The wind priestess groaned, swallowing before a coughing fit took her.
I patched myself into the closed circuit intercom using a transceiver headset I had kludged together in the moments before the pilots' wild ride.
"You hear the blue-haired one that time? I tell you, this bird revs more that just her motor, if you know what I mean," the pilot said. I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever. Look, if her friend blows chunks all over the cabin, you're cleaning it up, not me," the copilot said.
"If I can get the blue one by herself for a while, it'd be worth it," the pilot continued.
"Frankly, neither of you are my type," I said, keying the makeshift microphone. Like most kappa girls, I dated solely within my own species.
The pilot and copilot swore in surprise. The passenger's cabin normally did not have access to the closed intercom circuit. "How long have you been on the net?" the pilot stammered.
"Long enough to wonder whether or not I should be flattered or disgusted," I replied. "But I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself. What can you tell us about Tsukishima? And, please, use the open intercom so that my partner can hear."
Sanae and I both work for the Company, Gensokyo's premiere monster eradication team servicing both sides of the boundary. We're still pretty new compared to more established firms, but our reputation has grown to where we recently added commercial contracts to our normal monster bounty work. Our boss, Reimu Hakurei, loves getting paid for her work for a change, not that anyone has told her how to handle enough money to buy a small island chain.
As the copilot settled into the five hundred yen tour, I reflected on the current case.
An international satellite communications consortium, Pacifisat, had been plagued by frequent unexplainable equipment failures inside its Earth-based communication station. Normally, that would be an issue for maintenance, but most of the failures were declared as cleared before isolation. That's technician speak for "it fixed itself before we could find out what went wrong." However, shift workers started reporting strange shadows and laughter in the moments before equipment broke. Pacifisat had ruled out industrial espionage, as the Tsukishima site was a three-hour helicopter flight southeast of Japan. No one knew what to make of the shadows except for an old WWII veteran on the janitorial staff who claimed to recognize the telltale signs of a gremlin. Within thirty minutes of Pacifisat's phone call to Alice, the Company's receptionist, Sanae and I were on our way to the heliport.
"Wait," I said, keying the mike again. Something the copilot said interrupted my musing. "What did you just say?"
"Tsukishima used to be home to an old American emergency airfield," the copilot repeated. "There are even old B-29 wrecks off shore."
"If I never have to hear of another aircraft again-" Sanae groaned. Her eyes widened and she noisily filled her airsickness bag.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked her, handing Sanae my empty airsickness bag.
"I will be when we get down," Sanae said, taking the bag from me. "I swear Reimu hates me."
Actually, Reimu specifically sent the two of us for two reasons. First, she trusted us not to break stuff. Satellite communications equipment is expensive, and one stray bullet means the difference between Pacifisat paying us and us paying heavy penalties to Pacifisat. Second, the company could only spare the two of us. Reimu had rallied her team, Youmu's team, and Alice with her dolls to chase down a creature known only as a Hidebehind; a creature so fast that no one living had seen it, just the bodies it left behind.
Our little milk run lacked the glamour of Reimu's mission. Sanae resented that, thinking that Reimu did not trust her for anything other than rookie assignments. However, if Reimu didn't trust her, I'd be in charge and not the wind priestess.
Tsukishima Island appeared on the horizon. We orbited the island once, before settling onto the final approach to the heliport on the north end of the diamond shaped island. The satellite communications facility, parabolic antennas and all, lay at the south corner, with the apartments, gymnasium, and dining hall on the east corner of the diamond. The old American emergency landing field ran from the north to the west, where the B-29 wrecks our copilot rambled about rested.
The Bell 430 settled lightly upon the ground, its rotors slowly winding to a stop. The door opened, and Sanae spilled out of the aircraft and onto her hands and knees. She kissed the tarmac beneath her.
"Oh, thank Kanako," she gasped between kisses.
I stepped out of the helicopter, pointedly ignoring the pilot's proffered hand. He'd get points for persistence, but little more. I dragged a heavy sea duffel from the passenger's seat behind my own.
"Ms. Kochiya, Ms. Kawashiro?" a melodic feminine voice called out. Sanae raised her head from her tender ministrations to the earth, rose blossoming in her cheeks.
I heaved the heavy duffel onto my shoulders and turned around. "Call me Nitori."
"Ms. Kawashiro, is it?" the speaker said. A coldly elegant brunette in her mid-thirties, she wore a burgundy pantsuit. She stepped towards us, her high heels clacking against the concrete. "A word of advice, you do not want to be too familiar here."
I blinked in surprise. Sanae finally stood, brushing the dust off her skirt. "And you are?" she asked, holding her hand out.
"Call me Ms. Jones," the businesswoman said. I tried to place her accent, but it was neither American nor Australian. Daintily grasping Sanae's hand, Ms. Jones glowered, all grace leaving her voice. "And I'm on my way to the poorhouse if you two don't do something about that thing. It just killed our air conditioning."
Sanae turned towards me, staring blankly as she mouthed, "What?"
I'd fill Sanae in on the situation in private, but the simple explanation for Ms. Jones's worries is thus; power creates heat and heat destroys electronics. Sending signals into space requires a lot of power, so no air conditioning meant that Tsukishima can't transmit and can't make money. Considering that Pacifisat relayed important trans-Pacific financial links between America and Japan, not only were they losing money, but they could potentially lose customers if the links weren't restored quickly.
The wind priestess recovered quickly. "We'll get started right away. But first, do you have some place we can change?"
Ms. Jones had led us to a small locker room at the edge of the satellite communications facility. Without air conditioning, the room was hot and stuffy, but it was isolated enough that we could stage our operations without either interruption or lonely and curious workers pawing through our stuff in the hopes of learning our bra sizes. (Ms. Jones had warned us about the staff.) I armed a military-strength pepper resin bottle on top of my duffel. If that wasn't deterrence enough, the spell cards lining the inside should ensure stray hands stayed out of my gear.
After all, a girl's got to have her little secrets.
"You're actually bringing that?" Sanae asked, zipping a black leather jacket over a matching set of pants and a low cut white blouse. Ever since Cirno had shot up from tomboy to a highly tsundere ten, the humans of Team Reimu suddenly switched from more utilitarian armor to showier garb. At least the leather offered some protection, unlike the flashy outfits Marisa favored. Unfortunately, Sanae's black leather practically ensured some poor fool would set off my booby-trap.
"You did say non-lethal," I said, slipping a blocky plastic derringer onto my black webbed belt. A blue utility blouse hid both from sight. Unlike Sanae, I preferred my battle dress full of pockets. "Besides, it's so cool!"
"I didn't say non-lethal, I said no collateral damage. You've fought Reimu; you should know that there's a difference," Sanae sighed, tightening a wide belt around her waist. A collapsible baton, a deck of spell cards, and a rolled bundle of ofuda paper charms hung on the belt, hugging the wind priestess's hips.
"Relax, it's only a taser," I said, opening the door. "And it's not like its all I have." My own collapsible baton was tucked next to a pen on my sleeve. I wiggled my fingers at Sanae, walking a spell card across my knuckles.
"Patchi tell you anything about this thing?" Sanae asked as we walked out of the locker room. Patchouli Knowledge and her devilish assistant Koakuma served as our unofficial research wing. While not yet a formal part of the Company, Remilia Scarlet had put the full resources of the Scarlet Devil Mansion at our disposal, including one bookworm shut-in.
"Other than it being an American monster?" I asked, shaking my head. "I don't know what its doing out here."
"I did a little research of my own. Gremlins are the monster version of Luddites-" Sanae began. She turned towards me and sighed again. "Nitori?"
I never heard whatever the priestess said after that. I froze in the doorway, my eyes widening. Rack after tack of electronics stood before me, lights flashing in a visual symphony. A bright wide smile lit up my face as I reached for my Gerber multitool on my belt. "So pretty!"
"Hey!" Sanae said, waving a gloved hand in face. "I knew this would happen." She reached over, grabbed the skin on the back of my hand between her thumb and forefinger and twisted.
"Ow!" I pulled my hand away.
"Focus," Sanae said, pointing at the forest of racks and lights. "That gremlin is somewhere in there."
"But-" I whined, my shoulders slumping.
Sanae rolled her eyes as she waved her tasseled whacking stick in front of her. "I'm sure they'll give you the tour afterwards."
I perked back up, "Really? You promise?"
"Let's just get that gremlin."
We slowly walked through the aisles, Sanae and her prayer staff leading the way. My eyes scanned through high and low, left and right, checking each potential hiding place. However, in a communications facility, hiding places abounded. Each of the racks next to us stood 2.5 meters high and one meter square, crammed full of metal drawers and devices of all sizes. In addition, we walked on an elevated floor covered in recliner-sized tiles. Imagine a large supermarket and replace the shelves with equipment racks sandwiched together and the registers by computer terminals. Sprinkle in a liberal shaking of toolboxes and office shelves. Hide one pixie-sized gremlin inside the maze, and that should give you an idea of the scale of our task.
It had taken fifteen minutes to clear one aisle. The work was slow and tedious, and to make things worse-
The sound of a giant switch tripping echoed throughout the hall, and the overhead lights dimmed into thick seamless black. Even the lights on the electronics died. I froze, tapping my various pockets. Next to me, I could feel Sanae jump.
"Nitori!" she stage-whispered. I felt hands tap my shoulder. I held a wrist and felt Sanae's pulse quickening.
"Here," I called out, fishing a pen-sized tube from my pockets. With my free hand, I bent and shook the tube.
A green glow bathed the nearby equipment racks in deep shadows. Sanae appeared, the tension draining from her face. I handed her the cyalume wand. She needed it more than me; my eyes were made for hunting fish in murky waters, although it took longer than usual for my eyes to adjust. I couldn't see color or fine detail well, but the edges of racks and shelves were clear and sharp in their greys.
"Shouldn't the emergency power have kicked in by now?" I asked, watching the darkness ebb and flow as Sanae moved the glow stick around. There was no sign of the emergency lighting.
"Monster first, troubleshoot later," Sanae said, her voice wavering with false bravado. The priestess continued the patrol at a snail's pace compared to our previously languid progress. She tucked her tasseled staff underneath an arm and bent down. Holding the glow stick against a rack, she ran a finger across a label on a drawer. A loud bang like someone staving in metal broke the silence.
Sanae yelped, falling forward and banging her head on the metal drawers. She spun around as she fell backwards, just as another metal drawer shot out where her head was a moment earlier. Her glow stick fell onto the white-tiled sub-floor and rolled away.
I dove towards Sanae, hooking an arm under her shoulder. I dragged her out of the way of another drawer as it explosively burst from its rack. Catching another drawer as it launched out, I rammed it back into the rack slot. A shrill unearthly scream escaped the walls of metal, and I barely ducked a third drawer as it lurched at my eyes.
I staggered backward, my back bouncing off the metal shelves behind me. Sanae grabbed my shoulder, having regained her sense. She shrieked again as something shoved her into me, smothering me in leather-clad priestess.
"Run!" she said, pulling on my arm as the drawer behind me burst forward.
We scrambled our way down the aisle, dodging drawers on both side as though the walls themselves lurched towards us. Think of it as a giant whack-a-mole game, with the equipment racks spitting hammers at Sanae and I, the moles. A chittering laugh like scraping metal sped us along our way.
We stumbled through an intersection. Panting, we stood back to back, peering into the darkness. Each shadow was the monster's long fingers or its silhouette as it stalked across the room as fear played across our imaginations.
I pulled two glow sticks out, bending and shaking the plastic vials. We held them out before us like priests warding off evil in one of Remilia's favorite vampire movies. Spinning slowly in place, we kept our backs together as we searched for the next nasty surprise.
"Nitori," Sanae said, nudging my back with her shoulder. "There it is."
I turned my head towards where Sanae pointed with her glow stick. Perched on top of a nearby rack sat a stocky dark figure with long elfin ears, bulbous eyes, and a mouth full of needle teeth. In its hand, it held a blocky… gun?
It couldn't be! I patted my belt where the taser should be. My eyes widened and my heart sank when I felt it missing.
"Move!" I shouted, diving back into the aisle. Fast repetitive clicking filled the air, and I knew I wasn't fast enough.
How can I describe what shot through my back? Imagine Donkey Kong hyped up on meth and using your back for bongos while he drums the quickest song in history. And I felt each of the seventeen hits per second. I grit my teeth as I hit the ground, electrical impulses dancing between the twin fishhook barbs stuck in my back. Rolling over onto the barbs, I winced. "Ow. Ow. Ow."
The important thing to realize about a taser is that the effects only last with the current. When that ends, so does the pain and inability to move. I stood up, only to see the gremlin glance down at the accursed weapon in his hands. Clawing at my back, I tried to find the fishhooks stuck in my flesh. With a flash of teeth, he pulled the trigger again.
Five seconds may seem short, unless you have to ride the lightning for a second time. My muscles tensed and I collapsed gracelessly once more. Sanae reached towards the wires.
"Don't!" I warbled between clenched teeth. She'd be safe if she grabbed me, but she'd share the shocks if she touched the wires.
As soon as the clacking stopped again, I tore off my utility blouse and the T-shirt underneath. With the skin numbed by the taser, this was the only way I could ensure the barbs were pulled out. Waiting for help would only ensure I'd be tased again. The device carried three charges, and I knew the gremlin would pull the trigger again.
By the tugs on my back, I knew the electrodes had ripped away. I breathed a quick sigh of relief that I didn't have to lose my sport bra as well. Ms. Jones had been adamant about how lonely the workers were. Giving them a free show would only cause me problems.
I spun towards where the gremlin perched, my eyes flashing with anger. The monster danced a merry jig between Sanae's thrown ofuda charms. It jerked the trigger, glaring at me when I did not fall. Blue sparks flew out of the device as the gremlin slapped a hand against its side. It dove off the rack, chased by a burning paper charm as it plunged into the darkness.
"Are you okay?" Sanae asked, waving a glow stick over my body. She wiped something coppery and wet off my back.
"I'm going to kill him!" I growled, stepping towards where the gremlin had vanished. My hands clenched into solid fists.
"I'm with you on that, but wait a minute," Sanae said. She fussed with the charms on her belt. I knew she didn't understand my fury; the taser had not zapped her. Holding the glow stick between her lips, she sketched on a charm with a permanent marker. With a loud thwack, she slapped the charm against the nearby rack. The characters inscribed on the paper glowed brilliantly, illuminating the room about as well as a glow stick.
A pulse of raw power surged through me, making my skin crawl. It only got worse the closer I came to the charm. If the charm made a simple monster like me squirm, I did not want to know what it felt like to evil ones. I just hoped it hurt. A lot.
"My turn," Sanae growled as the charm sanctified the sphere of space surrounding it. A scream like a soul rent in fire tore through the dark room. "Did you see an exit?"
I looked around the aisles of equipment until I would what appeared to be the remnant of an emergency exit sign hanging from the ceiling by a thin wire. "Over there."
"Open that door and wait outside," Sanae commanded. "I'll herd it out there." She finished altering a second charm and slapped it on top of another rack.
I hit the door's crash bar running. Sunlight blinded me as I stumbled out onto the sidewalk. A wolf-whistle greeted me. Blinking, my eyes adjusted to the sunlight, only to see someone tall, dark, and staring at me. His clipboard dangled from his hands.
"My eyes are up here," I said, tracing a line from my chest to my eyes. My other arm covered my sports bra from prying eyes. At least he had the good grace to blush and turn away.
"Who are-" he began, trying not to look me up and down out of the corner of his eye.
"I'm working," I said sharply, turning around to face the open door.
"Just trying to be friendly," he said. I could hear footfalls as we walked away.
My skin crawled as I stood outside the building, waiting. I couldn't tell if it was because of Sanae's purification magic, the unwelcome eyes on me, or the salt in the air. Something thumped heavily against metal and shrieked. I almost did too as another pulse of power wrenched through my guts.
"Nitori! Head's up!" Sanae shouted from the inside.
Something drab and indistinct, like a shadow of fog, bolted out the door. I dove for it, but my hands slipped off slickened scale. Rolling to my feet, I gave chase after the fleeing gremlin.
For a little creature, the gremlin moved fast enough that my legs struggled to match its pace, much less catch up with the little devil. I knew I should have spent more time on the company's treadmill, but I'd rather swim than run.
The monster zigged and zagged through a grassy field, inerrantly finding every ankle snapping cable and foot grabbing obstacle hidden throughout the field as he made his way towards a large parabolic antenna mounted on a two-story pedestal. It reached the door at the base and stripped the doorknob and locks out from the door with a swipe of his long fingers.
"Catch it!" Sanae said from well behind me. As I ran to the door, something flew by my ear, sticking against the antenna door. The gremlin bellowed as he recoiled away from the paper charm now plastered to the antenna. He dove towards a metal trench nearby, but I grabbed him in mid-jump.
The gremlin's teeth were as sharp as they looked. His jaw clamped down on my forearm. I shrieked, slamming the monster against the side of the antenna pedestal. It let go of my arm, but slipped out of my hand as well. Blood dripped from numerous needle-like punctures in my arm. Not for the first time today, I wished for my well-customized Colt 1911 pistol.
The gremlin took flight once more, bee lining towards the white sand beach that ringed Tsukishima. I held a hand over the bite mark as I ran after him. I'd have Sanae check it out and purify the wound after the chase. Monster bites transmitted many terrible and nasty diseases; just ask any zombie outbreak survivor. If you can find one.
Sand sprayed from its footsteps as the monster ran down the beach. I followed close on its heels, slipping in the loose sand. My ankle rolled, pitching me into the ground-up coral. With all the scrapes and cuts I was collecting today, Reisen would have a field day patching me back up when I got back to Gensokyo.
Egged on by the gremlin's chattering laugher, I took to the air. Magic pushed me into the salt air, the ground below me within an arm's reach.
The gremlin wailed, frantically juking left and right as I closed in on it. It leapt into the air as I buzzed it, slipping past my fingers as I overflew my prey. Banking in a tight circle, I came around for another pass.
Maybe I should have used my Optical Camouflage spell card and cloaked myself in invisibility. Following the gremlin to its nesting place would have then been easy. But the chase was on and in my blood. Besides, the little creep shot me twice with my own taser. The girls at the Company would never let me live that down.
Soaring upwards, I kept my eyes on the fleeing monster running towards the old airstrip. Waiting for the right moment, I turned until the sun was at my back. A blue glow gathered around my hands.
Danmaku kicked up jets of sand as I pounced, dropping from the sky. The monster shrieked, paralyzed by the danmaku crashing into the beach all around him. From the inside, it must have looked like he was trapped by a dust devil. As distracted as he was, I still could find no purchase with my hands as I grabbed at scale and skin. It was as if the little devil was made out of air and spite.
I ran out of sky, slamming into the coarse sand. Large clouds of ejecta showered everything about me as I cartwheeled across the beach. Earth, water, and sky constantly shifted places until the ground finally caught me in its harsh embrace.
I wobbled to my feet, sand pouring off me like rain. My pigtails flung sand about as I shook my head, wincing and writhing. Rough sand had found its way into numerous sensitive areas. Wiping my eyes clean, I could see the gremlin silhouetted against the surf. Without hesitation, I grabbed the first spell card I laid my hand on. A veritable tsunami of danmaku fire swept the devil into the surf. Each step took it into deeper water further from shore. It quickly vanished beneath a rolling swell. The creature would get away, unless…
I took the Gerber multitool from my belt and slid the blade underneath my bootlaces. A quick tug sliced the thick knots away, and a second tug cut the knots on my other boot. I kicked the black leather off my feet and then shucked off the rest of my clothes. Fortunately, some of the more irritating sand fell away.
I ran alongside strange three-toed footprints until the rippling waters wiped them away. Splashing through the warm tide, I searched the ocean for any sign of the gremlin, but the waves easily hid the child-sizes saboteur. The waters finally rolled up to my hips. Breathing deeply, I dove into the clear water; eyes clenched shut and burning. The fire quenched and I saw the sea with the true eyes of a kappa.
It was as if I swam through crystal. I could count the scales of fish as the fled through the coral not more than a hundred meters offshore. I could even make out a grouper hidden in the sands, grown large and fat. Familiar shells shimmered in the sunlight, advertising scrumptious meals. A buffet swam before me, and it made me hungry.
I scanned through the corals and ocean sands until the unnatural lines of a B-29's wings caught my eye. Even as covered in coral and barnacles as it was, the man made engineering called out to me. My grandparents' generation still regaled children with old tales of the silver beasts in the sky scourging the land with flame and steel. A dragon slumbered beneath the waves, and as I remembered one bore something like Okuu's fire, I couldn't help but shudder. That nightmare was a godsend, though. My cat-iris eyes seized upon the dark shape wriggling against the white sand nearby. The gremlin cut through the water, bearing towards the sunken plane.
My lungs burned with carbon dioxide. Cursing the sluggish frailty of my human form, I kicked towards the surface, purging my lungs in a steady stream of bubbles as I ascended. Crystal faded to diffuse fog as my head broke the surface of the water. Kappa eyes were made for water, not air. Cool air filled my lungs and with another powerful kick, I returned to the crystal sea that was my home element.
A human, if lucky, could swim three kilometers an hour in still water, even less in a current. Even with a humanoid form, the gremlin easily made ten kilometers and hour in the water. There was no way I could catch it, no way to ensure the gremlin would no longer plague Pacifisat. No way to collect on the contract Reimu had made.
No human way, that is.
I am a kappa; a daughter of a proud and resourceful people who owned the rivers for millennia before men first walked on the earth. We pride ourselves that we survive and flourish even while man asserts his dominion over the earth, and it is our honor that we are known for never breaking our promises, even unto death. I had promised Reimu, Pacifisat, and myself that this gremlin would be no more, and the weight of the triple promise burned upon my soul. No one would be able to say I had failed to uphold the kappas' honor.
Swimming towards the B-29 wreck, chasing a monster that loathed the technology I loved, I made my decision. I Changed. My fingers and toes lengthened, webbing growing between them as they splayed outwards. Human skin turned into greenish hide and my arms and legs shortened. My teeth shrank, turning small and peg-like in a jaw that had become more beak than anything a dentist would recognize. If a human saw me now, I would be lucky if they didn't kill the giant great platypus Thing lurking in the waves. At least it would end the pain.
Try shifting your shape at the very molecular level. You feel every bit of the change grating against raw nerves, and the energy has to come from somewhere. Even with magic, the body still fueled much of the change from its stores. When this was over, it would take a few trips to Mystia's all you can eat seafood buffet before I would need to wear a bra or have anything resembling feminine curves. The change and energy drain overloaded my nerves, but I could only swim forward, compelled by promises and the inability to do anything but ride out the transformation until its end.
With a new form came a new consciousness, inherently kappa but indescribable. Human language just did not have the words.
As I left humanity behind, my speed increased. I sliced through the water like a torpedo. The gremlin loamed larger in my vision, panicking as it struggled against the water, trying to swim faster-
It never occurred to me to consider why kappas stayed to rivers…
The chase ended in the flash of teeth, the snap of a jaw, and a slowly spreading red cloud.
As I came back to awareness, I found myself collapsed naked on the beach coughing water and blood not my own. My eyes clenched shut, burning as salt flowed between my eyelids. Tears streamed down my face, mixing with the blood and bile on my lips.
I rolled to my side, wincing as I pulled my eyelids open. Before me rested the savaged gremlin corpse, its giant eyes open and unseeing. Chills took me and not just because I was next to the dead. My eyes closed again, and I gulped down air as quickly as I could. Everything felt frighteningly familiar. I should have never transformed in the salt water.
"Nitori!" Sanae shouted. Hands rolled me onto my back and onto something soft as a towel wrapped around me. Another towel propped up my legs, and Sanae sat me up, supporting me by the shoulders. "What happened?"
"I got him," I panted. My throat was so parched that it hurt to swallow.
Sanae's fingers slid up my neck, feeling for the carotid artery. "What's wrong?"
"Water," I croaked, pleading. "River kappa. Salt water. Too much. Dehydration."
Water and sand splashed nearby as heavy footsteps pounded through the surf. Somewhere over me, a male voice said kindly, "Ma'am, what's going on?"
Rough hands checked my pulse and blood pressure at my neck and my wrist. Sanae rattled off my symptoms. After each one, a brusque voice grunted as he confirmed for himself the truth of Sanae's words.
"Hang in there," he said. "We'll have you feeling better soon."
My throat and my tongue, no, make it my entire body burned. "Water," I called once more. My eyes were so heavy….
"Only wet her lips," the kinder man commanded.
"She's going into shock!" the harsher voice called out. I could feel a cold pinch on the underside of my arm.
"Stay with us, Nitori!" Sanae called out.
But I could not. The voices, ever so urgent, faded away-
"Come and rest, weary traveler," a kindly and familiar voice said. I could hear the lapping of water in the background.
I groaned as I opened my eyes, grateful that the fever and burning no longer plagued me. "Where am-"
I froze as my eyes took in my surrounds. A large rock cavern surrounded me, the far edge of a river invisible from where I sat. A rowboat rested on the shore nearby, its oars in their notches. I remembered installing the outboard motor than hung off the stern.
"So, can you spare some yen?" the voice said. I looked up at a tall, voluptuous redhead in traditional robes. Komachi Onozuka held out her hand before me and smiled.
I was on the shore of the Sanzo River, the gateway to the Underworld. My heart fell in my chest. "Am I-?"
The ferrywoman laughed. "Dead? Hardly. Call it a close call, nothing more."
"How close?" I said as she pulled me to my feet.
"Well, you won't be hearing the end of this for a while. Really? A kappa almost drowning?" Komachi laughed as she walked over to her boat. A square board and two bags appeared in her hands.
"It was dehydration," I groaned, remembering the burning on my skin. "Salt water saps the fluids out of us when we're in our true forms." Osmosis tried to equalize the salinity of my body with that of the sea by flushing my body of precious water. That's why kappas never left the rivers and lakes of Japan.
"Sounds like drowning in the ocean to me," the reaper said, setting a shogi board down on the ground between us. Komachi motioned for me to sit. "But a game or two might just buy my silence the next time we go drinking."
I laughed as I helped Komachi set the pieces on the board. "Or until you get drunk. So why should I play a game against a reaper?"
"I really need a break," Komachi said, sighing. She pointed to where a small knot of souls sat a short way down the riverbank. They chanted something about not fearing a reaper.
"Hey, cutie, 'More Cowbell,'" an obnoxious voice brayed.
"Stupid mullet rockers," Komachi muttered under her breath, making the opening move. "Everyone's a wise-ass."
Blazing light filled the cavern, turning the insider brighter than the noon. I shielded my eyes, turning away from the source. Behind us, the singing and catcalling stopped. An aura held all of us still, firmly grasped as though by some massive Hand.
Komachi drew her scythe as she sprang to her feet. The aura held no power on her. "Godsdammit, what is it now!"
"Stay still," a voice like a choir of angels commanded. The compulsion in that voice froze my very soul, but I managed to turn towards the light.
High Lady Suwako Moriya stood in the cavern, revealed in splendor and casting light throughout the darkness. No longer in a child's body, she stood proud and terrible, beautiful and fearsome. Her purple lacquered loricated armor shone, as did her twin rings tied to her belt. A silvery ethereal serpent slithered circles around her.
Komachi rolled her eyes. "Can we get this over with? You're ruining my break."
"On behalf of my anointed one," the Highest of Native Gods began in the same choir-like voice as before. Anointed one? Did she mean Sanae? I never did pay that much attention in divinity classes. An alabaster finger pointed at my eyes. "I have come for the kappa. You cannot have her."
"She's not dead," Komachi insisted, holding her scythe at the ready as she stepped in front of the Highest.
"You aren't lying." In Suwako's polyharmonic divine voice, the statement managed to be question, statement, certainty, and agreement all at the same time.
"She isn't," I squeaked in a quiet voice.
In an instant, the Highest of all Native Gods became her incarnated child-like self once more. The choir faded into a single voice as she spoke. "Oh, well, that's a relief. Sanae will be thrilled."
Komachi sighed, her shoulders slumping. "All I want is one quiet shift," she shrieked. The river behind her roiled and writhed. I cringed as the cold spray hit bare flesh. I could move once more.
"Would you take a peace offering?" Suwako asked, brandishing a bottle and a deck of cards. "You did say you were on a break."
The waters subsided as Komachi snatched the bottle and drank deeply. "Good whiskey. Good enough to be worth the ass chewing I'll get from Eki. Deal the cards, short stuff."
"That's the spirit," Suwako cheered. She sat down, passing out cards out in turn. "Texas Hold 'Em?"
Komachi handed me the bottle and smiled. "Drink up! There's nothing to do until you wake, and it's not like you have to worry about a hangover."
She lied to me. Okay, that was a little harsh. I was dehydrated and not hung over, as if that slight difference mattered. My body still hurt all over like I had been chugging Marisa and Mima's special rotgut by the liter. (They had learned the recipe from an older witch, or so Marisa claimed. The swill was made from apples. Mostly.) Something jabbed me in the arm. I turned my head and saw surgical tubing jutting out of my arm. An IV bag hung from a nearby stand.
"Where am I?" I asked, cringing at the grating sound of my own voice.
"Tsukishima medical station," Sanae said from my bedside. Of course, the room had that sterile antiseptic design common to hospitals. I could have figured that out myself if my head would quit ringing.
"How bad was it?" I asked, wincing as my stomach rumbled.
Sanae shook her head. "You lost over ten kilograms of body mass, not counting water weight. You scared us to death."
Ten kilos, no wonder I was starving. "I noticed. How long was I out?"
"Long enough for the check to clear," Sanae said, shaking her head. She pointed to the makeshift "Get Well Soon" banner hanging from the ceiling. "And for you to pick up a fan club. Really, you'd think you were Okuu by the way the guys were asking about you."
I looked down at my chest. Sure enough, a big portion of the ten kilos I had lost came from my breasts. "I don't feel like Okuu." I sure as hell didn't look like the busty hell raven, even on my best day.
"All the rumor mill had to say was 'cute,' 'engineer,' and 'naked,' and they were ready to launch a thousand ships in your honor." I looked at Sanae blankly. She sighed. "Does Helen of Troy ring a bell?"
"Who?"
"Read something besides a technical manual for once," Sanae said, shaking her head.
"Like your trashy romances?" I snapped back, my stomach growling again. "I hope someone in my fan club brought chocolates or something." My body needed to replenish its energy. Now!
Sanae eyed the closed door furtively, sliding me a bento lunch box. "Well, Nurse Ratchet out there would kill me if she saw this…"
I opened the bento to the small of cucumber and rice. "Kappa maki?" Cucumber spring rolls. Yum.
Sanae nodded, smiling. "I told the guys that it was your favorite. Relax, they don't know."
I didn't often crave anything more than cucumbers, but I would have killed for a tuna steak the length of my whole arm or a huge chunk of high-energy shark liver. That didn't stop me from gulping the spring rolls. Sanae handed me another bento filled to the brim with kappa maki. That too vanished in seconds, and I fell back into the bed, satiated.
"So, when can I leave?" I asked, basking in the warm glow of a full belly.
"Normally, I'd say until Reimu throws enough money at the doctor, but this spooked her," Sanae said.
I would later find out she had said, "I haven't lost a hunter yet and I sure as hell won't lose a friend. Stay until she's healthy."
"Also, the Company is no longer doing jobs unarmed. Everyone carries at all times from now on, both spell cards and firearms. We'll just have to think out our plans and our gear better from now on."
I so love a challenge. Images like drafted designs flashed though my mind. "That's good. I've got an idea for something I'll call the Dezombiefier-"
Sanae's eyes widened as she recognized the telltale signs of one of my classic technology rants. She fled the room, shivering.
Author's notes:
Thanks to everyone who read this and the earlier story. Special thanks go to Kerreb17 for alpha reading. MHG has become my writing playground, where I can experiment in ways not appropriate to my other upcoming work. More stories in this setting are on their way.
Feel free to review and to join myself and many other Touhou writers at the Let's Danmaku discussion forum.