A/N: so, I try my hand at a bit of Shenko drama. The song I named the chapter after and quote is Late Goodbye by Poets of the Fall.
Again I welcome feedback. It's like mother's milk to me.
Bioware owns. [ 9 more days the invasion begins }
Mission Update 2: Late Goodbye
Kaidan waited nervously. The tension was killing him... did she or didn't she? The survivors were all accounted for, apart from Joker and Shepard... surely they got away? No, they'll be fine. Shepard is a survivor, she could easily take Joker and make sure they'd be on the escape pod...
A Ensign ran up to him. "Sir, the last pod landed, S&R found it.. they are bringing the survivor out now."
"Just one?" Kaidan asked, his stomach in knots.
"Yes..." The ensign began.
Kaidan ran off to the medical tent before the ensign could finish talking. It took him only a few minutes to get there. He had to see who survived, he simply had to...
Entering the tent, Kaidan could see Dr Chakwas looking over someone. He approached, the knot in his stomach now the size of a beach ball.
"Kaidan..." Joker said in a hollow voice. He looked at Kaidan with devastated eyes, but didn't say any more – and Kaidan just stood there, looking back at Joker. Not crying, not breaking down. He simply felt... empty.
"We need to look for her." Kaidan said, more to himself than to anyone. "We can't just assume she - "
He couldn't say it. He simply couldn't.
"Kaidan..." Jeff said.
"She was spaced. There is no way Shepard could have lived." Dr Chakwas told him in a soft voice. As he let the words sink in, Kaidan kept standing in the same spot, letting Chakwas examine Joker.
Without warning, he suddenly felt an urgent need to leave the medical tent. Nobody looked at him as he turned away and walked briskly back to his tent. Three words ran though Kaidan's head as he walked, like a mantra: She is dead... she is dead...
... green eyes staring into brown...
NO! He couldn't think of... kisses and hands feeling skin.
He stopped walking and covered his face with his hands. Can't lose it now, the crew need me. Reaching out to pull her up from the floor. She takes his hand.
Kaidan let his hands fall from his face and continued the march to his tent.
He pushed the flaps of the tent -
Pushed out of the way, falling to the ground. Watching as an invisible force lifted her high into the air.
- and entered. Immediately he sat on the floor, knees to his chest, hands by his side and eyes closed. More memories began to assault and overwhelm him. There was no point in fighting them. Not now she was -
... fingers running though thick black hair. A soft moan escapes her...
"Kaidan! Go... now." An order issued.
"... aye aye." An order followed.
Ancient earth song dancing in his head...
"And we keep driving into the night,
Such a late goodbye, such a late goodbye..."