Jim Kirk blinked himself awake. He huffed to himself at the blinding lights that he recognised as the sickbay, the smell making his stomach turn.
He couldn't move at all, it made him feel sick. Which was probably why he was in the sickbay.
He felt a presence near him, a blue smudge crossing his vision.

"B.." his voice was hoarse. "B..Bones?"

"You recognise me?" A clear voice pierced his ears.

"What? 'Course I do Bones.. gah my throat hurts. Do I have a fever?" he slurred.

McCoy's lips were pressed into a thin line.
"I can give you some painkillers but.. do you not remember what happened in the transporter room?"

"Transporter...? No.."

"Jim, you were scared shitless, I had to sedate you."

The Captain's eyes focused suddenly, wanting to hear more.
"Don't remember that.."

"Yeah, you didn't remember us, or the ship either."

"Prob'ly just.. mm.." Jim felt a cold flush run over him. There was an overwhelming urge to sleep. Freaking Bones again. "B'nes why you drug me m'gain.. just woke..up"

McCoy stood to attention immediately and ran a tricorder over him.
"I didn't give you anything, you feelin' tired?"

"Uh huh.." was all he managed to muster. McCoy hadn't seen anything wrong on the scanner.

"Go to sleep, you can bet your sorry ass that you need it" the doctor growled, taking another look at Jim before leaving, satisfied.

Jim woke up again with a start. It was darker now, but he was still in the sickbay, he could smell it.
The ship needed him though, so god knows what he was doing sleeping and humouring McCoy.
Slowly, Jim stood on his own two feet, using the end of the bed to balance him. He made his way to the door, being careful not to wake anyone up. As the doors hissed open, Jim practically ran to the turbo lift, he needed to regain control as soon as possible!
He ignored the signs of his vision swimming, blaming it on the sudden fast movements.
For a split second, Jim toppled back and gasped as he felt like the air was being sucked from his lungs. Was the turbolift going that fast? He made a mental note to fix it.

As soon as he arrived, all eyes were on him. He stumbled onto the bridge, his face as pale as it was only a few hours ago.

"Captain?" came Spock's calm but questioning voice. "What are you doing here?"

Jim gave him a lopsided smirk. "What'd you mean Spock? This is my.. nngh" he groaned and fell against the wall, Spock's beady eyes burning into him.

"You are still unwell, Jim." The Vulcan's voice was next to him now, whispering almost. Oh the many things he learned from humans. "Does Doctor McCoy know you are here?"

Jim honestly didn't think about that- he just up and left. Oh well.
"No, but that doesn't matter, ah-..god-hold on," Jim's face scrunched up in pain as he doubled over into Spock, who had firmly caught him while keeping his straight attire.

"Captain, I recommend that you return to-"

"No Spock, I need to resume control of the ship"

The Vulcan watched him for a moment before gripping his wrists and aiding him to his chair.
"Very well, but I still do not recommend that you-"

"Spock leave me, please."

"Captain I must request that you stop interrupting me" Spock said quickly. Jim sighed, rolling his head back.

"I'll be fine. Come on, let's get moving people. Where we going?"

"You got a bad memory Captain?" Mister Sulu laughed from the helm. "You said we were to, "go boldly into the uncharted nexus", so that's where we're heading."

"Ah yeah, of course, I remember that." Jim lied, forcing a fake smile onto his face. "Stop by on the first habitable planet that you find, we'll go check it out" On the word 'out', Jim sharply inhaled, quietly, he had felt it coming but didn't want the others to hear. Spock however, wasn't stupid.
He walked to the front of Jim until his face was looking at him. But he refused to look at the man, simply staring to his right so he didn't make eye contact. Spock decided to kneel down in front of him. That caught the Captain's attention.

"Jim" the Vulcan said quietly, the younger man shuddered at his name.

"What's our ETA?" The Captain called to Mister Sulu, ignoring Spock. The Vulcan's eyebrow arched, and Jim watched him stand up and walk over to Uhura.

As he turned back to look at the screen, he saw his father on the viewing screen. George. The background behind him seemed to look like the Enterprise, except the layout was slightly different, and there was fire, explosions. The fire was unreal, only a recording, but Jim took no notice, it pricked his eyes and he felt his insides swim as he watched the death of his father. He watched the ship break apart, his mother screaming for his father, his father getting caught in the flames. The ship exploding, his mother continuing to scream. He heard himself scream, he assumed it was the baby in his mother's arms when he realised it was him in reality. His head was as hot as the fire on the screen was. Was his father alive? His parents were dying? He needed to do something, but he couldn't get himself to move. He stayed frozen in his seat, his throat was screaming, getting dryer and dryer, more and more painful.

"Jim… look at me." He heard a female voice drag him back into reality. Slowly, he turned his head to the source, his eyes meeting with Uhura's, who was kneeling down next to Spock. Spock stood up and took over the comm.

"Bridge to Doctor McCoy, come in."

"Jim, it's alright, what are you looking at? There's nothing there, Jim" Uhura pleaded with the Captain, rubbing her hands up and down his arm.

"McCoy here" the doctor sounded gruff and tired over the intercom.

"This is Spock, we need you down on the Bridge urgently, doctor."

"I'll be right there. By the way have you seen Jim? He's disappeared from sickbay, I think he's done another runner, the idiot."

"Doctor McCoy, please get to the bridge."

There was a pause, and then the transmission ended. Spock returned to the Captain's side; Uhura was now kneeling right in front of Jim, blocking his view of the screen.
"Jim, there's nothing on the screen, what are you seeing?" Uhura looked behind her to confirm it, and sure enough, there was only the vastness of space on the viewing screen.
"My.." gasp "Mother.." gasp "a-nd, my..I..my.." gasp "my mother and.."
The bridge doors hissed open and McCoy stormed in, medkit in tow, and boy, did he look angry. Angrier than usual that is.
"..Mother.. and.. my.." Jim hyperventilated with clear fear in his eyes. Uhura looked sympathetically at him and looked up to McCoy, who approached the side of him.
"..and my father" he finally finished. He lurched forward to escape, he had to save them. He had to save his parents. What the hell was he doing here?
"You're not going anywhere" McCoy muttered, gripping the man's shirt and hauling him back to the seat again.
"Are you imagining a replay of their deaths?" Spock spoke up. Everyone in the room silently inhaled at his selfishness.
"What do you mean.. a...a replay…? Spock?" Kirk choked, his knuckles draining of colour from his hold on their chair.
"Your father died when you were born." Spock said. Uhura and McCoy both shot him a death glare.
"Spock!" Uhura hissed, eyes darting straight back to Jim, who looked like he'd just been kicked in the stomach.
"This is what happens when you run out the sickbay Jimmy" McCoy sighed, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, reaching into his medkit for a hypo to calm the man down.
Jim tried to speak but no words came out, only choking sounds and sobs. Uhura took his hand and tried to soothe him, hoping McCoy can calm him down soon.
"You don't.. look like.. others.." Jim breathed, looking at Spock.
"I assume you are referring to my ears?"
"Y-yeah.. you're not human are y-you?"
Spock shook his head, "I am only half." Uhura and McCoy continuing to watch him, knowing he was slowly losing his memory again. Uhura lightly tugged at McCoy.
"I don't know the first thing about medicine but… it looks like his long term memory is being affected first, and then it gets worse from there?" she guessed.
"Yeah, I'd say so. Spock, come over here?" McCoy stood up and beckoned the Vulcan over.
Spock approached him and gave a small curt nod.
"Somethin' is obviously affecting his memory and I need to do tests to find out more, but I can't keep him still long enough. He either freaks or runs off. The only sedative I have that he's not allergic to sends him to sleep but I need him awake. I don't usually do this, but ah.." he sighed and considered whether he should show his temporary vulnerability and whether he'd be able to live it down. But then again, this was his best friend at stake, however annoying he was. "I need your help" he sighed. If Spock had a large ego, he wasn't showing it.
"Of course, Doctor, but what do you propose that I do?"
"I think having someone stay with him and uh.." he coughed. "Well, 'comfort' him, while I'm doing my stuff, will help him. You up for it?"
"I would, but I am afraid that my ignorance in the human emotions he would be feeling would not be helpful. I would not know how to help him. I recommend that you stay with him instead, doctor."
McCoy huffed and glanced at the floor in thought for a second. "Well even if I would, who'd be doing the tests? You sure as hell ain't doing it."
"Is this not obvious? Perhaps another doctor. You mentioned a Christine Chapel. Can she not perform these examinations admirably?"
"Well, that sounds like a good option, she does know how.." McCoy folded his arms.
Spock intertwined his arms behind his back. "It seems logical."
With a sharp nod in thanks, McCoy turned back to Jim who didn't look any better than he was a few minutes ago.
"Jim," he began quietly, waiting for his friend to notice he was talking to him. Jim's eyes met his. "I need you to come back with me to sickbay. I need to find out why this is happening to you, I'm gonna help you while Chapel here does the tests, alright?" McCoy told him, abnormally calmly. Jim sucked in a breath but nodded. Anything to get the images he was seeing out of his head.

Jim was soon, finally, taken to sickbay, where he refused to sit down unless no one else was watching him.

"For the last time Jim, I can't just chuck everyone outside because you want to be alone in here!"

Jim's face remained blank and hollow.

"Then I won't let you do anything" he sulked, staring at his feet. McCoy sighed in frustration, throwing his hands in the air.

"Fine, fine, we can put up curtains, that way no one can see you"

McCoy thought for a second he saw Jim smirk, probably from getting his own way.

Once everything was set up, he turned to Chapel.

"Go easy on him, he's susceptible to panicking and legging it again"

The nurse nodded and smiled to Jim, who was patiently waiting.

"Alright Jim," McCoy walked up to his friend's side. "Chapel here is gonna use this weird lookin' thing to see if there's any psychological changes, you just got to look at the colours" he explained, patting him on the back. Jim only nodded and swallowed what he felt like was more bile.

Chapel turned on the large device and Jim gripped onto the supports of his chair.

"S'alright, we've got ya'" he stood next to Jim and tried to comfort him, but his knuckles were still going white. A blue colour changed to red-orange suddenly, and Jim inhaled sharply, clawing to get out.

"No, no I have to go, no, don't-dont keep me here, no.. no I can't, can't watch..see, I can't, not..no, no no no not again, no-"

"Turn it off" McCoy ordered Chapel, standing in front of the machine and holding Jim's arms.

"No no no no.. no no no" Jim's eyes rolled back in a struggle for air. McCoy jumped into action and forced the chair backwards as if it was a biobed.

"I said turn it off!" he yelled at the nurse that was just watching. Chapel snapped back into reality and shut off the machine, taking some new readings and giving them to McCoy, who frowned.

"I don't know why it did that to you kid, it's not supposed to, ugh.." McCoy watched the kid's vitals stabilise again

Jim simply groaned and let his head roll back loosely into the bed-chair.

"Doctor McCoy," a voice called his name.

McCoy let himself smile at the kid. "I'll be right back, don't move" McCoy's eyes burned into him at the last two words. To his surprise, Kirk slightly smirked at him.

"What is it?" McCoy asked, nodding to Chapel as he walked over.

"Doctor.. something must be really wrong for him to have a reaction like that to colour.."

McCoy grunted. "Yeah I know, I'm thinking of trying again, maybe turn the intensity down?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Chapel glanced towards Jim still trying to get his breath back.

"Yeah, he'll be alright. If it happens again we'll forget about it, but for now we need answers" McCoy rubbed his hands together and pressed his mouth into a thin line. Chapel just let out a thoughtful "Hmm" and turned back to the device while McCoy returned to Jim.

"O-kay, Jim we're gonna try again, but it'll be less intense, we need the answers. Think you can do that for me?"

Jim looked half terrified for a second but nodded. McCoy decided that he should try to comfort him while it's happening, anything to get it done properly.

He sat next to him and rubbed the front of Jim's left shoulder with his knuckle.

"Come on, you can do it." he encouraged. Jim seemed to let all his barriers down at this point, his hands visibly shaking. McCoy looked up to meet his gaze, seeing the younger man's eyes were bloodshot red.

"Bones.." he croaked, sucking in another needed breath.

"It's alright, Jim" McCoy wasn't sure of what to do. He looked up at Chapel and shook his head. She came over for clarification.

"This isn't going to work" he whispered.

"Should I shut it down?"

"Yeah... we don't need this thing to tell us that he's not right psychologically"

Chapel nodded in agreement and went to take away the device, McCoy remained seated next to Jim.

"Bones" he said again, hints of desperation in his voice.

McCoy turned to face him, his eyebrows lowering. "Yeah?"

"I'm.. I see him.. I don't want to" Jim blatantly said. McCoy rubbed his hands against his face and exhaled.

"You mean your father?"

"I keep seeing him.. dying, Bones" Jim was holding back tears, and Bones could see that.

"Alright.. just leave that to me okay?" McCoy reached for his med kit and looked for a hypo. Something to put the kid out of his misery, even if temporary.

McCoy pulled out his hypo and exchanged the vile for something Jim wasn't allergic to, and quickly jammed it in the man's neck before he had the chance to even notice he was holding it. Jim stared at him as if he'd kicked a puppy.

"Relax, it's just a sedative" McCoy explained, watching his vitals begin to smooth out.

Jim rubbed his neck. He was feeling tired already. Perhaps this was the best way after all. "Thanks, Bones"

McCoy stood up to leave. "No problem." And walked out the door as Jim drifted off to sleep.

Jim woke up the next hour, feeling like he's just came down with the worst fever his body has ever had. He felt his forehead—he was sweltering like mad. He sat up, and realised he wasn't in his house.
'Well this sure isn't a farm' he thought, rubbing his back. They ached like hell too.

Standing up, Jim wandered around the sickbay until he found a noisy door. The way out. Maybe he got his stupid arse high again. Slowly, Jim made his way out the door, being cautious not to set off any alarms.
As the doors hissed open, Jim jumped back in alarm, and then gaped.
"This is so cool" he thought, walking backwards in circles at the lights. After a few minutes of pondering through doors and getting weird looks from other crew mates (not that he knew they were his crew mates), Jim found his personal ecstasy: the turbolift.

"Uh.." he paused and stared at the controls on the panel. "To umm.. my… friends..?" he asked the lift, not sure if it'll answer. He laughed to himself. Of course it won't answer, it's a lift.

But much to Jim's surprise, the turbolift shuddered and then sent him skyrocketing down a shaft.
"Shit!" he thought, rammed up against the wall unexpectedly.

And then it hit him—he has friends here? They must be pretty damn cool friends. Certainly they can't be his. Not friends with someone like him.

The lift doors hissed open and a huge viewing screen was revealed to him—the vastness of space. About 14 other crew mates all turned and looked at him, including a guy with pointed ears and odd hair. This place looked cool.

"Good evening, Captain. What are you doing here?"
Jim looked around.

"Who's the Captain?"

TBC