Let me be - Chapter 2

Thanks to MissKaterinab for betaing

All warnings and the disclaimer from chapter 1 still apply.

-.-.-.-

Three hours later, I was still just as completely in the dark in regards to Blaine's condition as I had been in the ambulance. He'd been rushed into surgery on arrival, and I'd been ushered into a small waiting room and given a mug of hot, sweet tea... and then promptly ignored until my father had arrived, demanding to know what was going on. He was simply told that as soon as they knew something, we'd know something. We were then led to the main Emergency Department waiting room and told to wait.

And so we waited.

The four of us sat in a line. My dad and Carole were to my left and Finn to my right. He was slumped down low in his seat, stretched right out with his long legs crossed at the ankles taking up far too much of the aisle between the rows of chairs, his arms crossed gruffly across his chest. To an onlooker, he may have appeared unbearably bored, but I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves and hear his teeth grinding in anger. Finn took his 'big brother' protector role very seriously, and I sensed that this attack on my sweet, gentle boyfriend was a great slap in the face to him. Finn had always had an amazing heart. Unfortunately, it was only after it had been broken a couple of times that he began to appreciate just how precious it really was.

Wes and David sat opposite us whispering quietly to each other. I had sent Wes a text from the ambulance knowing that the prefect would be concerned when Blaine didn't show up at the dorms that night, but he had surprised me by arriving at the hospital with David in tow not long after my parents had arrived. I had told him as much as I knew about Blaine's condition - which, granted, wasn't much - and they had sat down with us to wait out his surgery and hear the news that followed.

I was beginning to think the staff had forgotten about us altogether when I saw a tired looking doctor making his way towards us. He eyed the six of us and then addressed my father. "Are you here for Blaine Anderson?"

My dad nodded, and we all sat up to pay very close attention. The doctor took a seat two chairs down from Wes and addressed us as a whole.

"Blaine is in recovery now. His condition is still critical but he's fairly stable. He's certainly a very strong young man, quite the fighter." He smiled lightly at us, trying to comfort us all.

Carole spoke up. "Is he going to be okay?" Her voice was shaking, and it occurred to me that this was the first time I'd heard her speak since we arrived at the hospital. My dad slipped a hand into hers, squeezing it comfortingly.

The doctor gave her a gentle smile. "Well, Blaine suffered extensive injuries in the attack. Aside from the broken arm, which we've set, and broken nose, which you already knew about, Blaine also has two fractured ribs, a punctured lung, and seven stab wounds to his torso."

My dad's arms came around me at this news and pulled my head to his chest as I started sobbing brokenly. I heard his chest rumble as he spoke.

"Seven? We only saw two in his abdomen. Where were the other five?"

I glanced up at the doctor again, needing to hear this for myself. God, poor Blaine. I couldn't believe any of this. It had to be some kind of sick joke. This couldn't be real.

The doctor's voice was even graver as he continued.

"One was to his back below the left shoulder blade, which went straight into his lung. The other four were to his groin. We've taken great care to try to repair the damage as best we could, but at this stage it's too early to know what kind of nerve damage could have been done down there. Only time will tell, I'm afraid. The rest of his injuries are more superficial. He has a large gash from his lip to his chin, which we've had to stitch, and there were quite a few defensive wounds to his hands and arms. There is also extensive bruising to about 60% of his body. It will be a very long road to recovery for Blaine."

At this, he turned directly to my dad and Carole, addressing only them. "Now, I understand that you are not actually Blaine's parents?"

My dad shook his head. "No, we're not. They're not, uh, in the picture," he said slowly. "We will look after Blaine."

The doctor nodded, tight lipped. "You are aware that this is not going to be a short term commitment, right? Blaine will most likely spend several weeks in hospital before he can be released, and then he must receive full time care until he has finished healing. There may very well also be psychological damage here too. At the very least, Blaine will require some counselling and physiotherapy. Are you sure you are up to that? Because if you're not, we need to know now so we can make arrangements for him to be placed temporarily in a nursing home."

"No... it's okay," my dad said kindly, giving me a small squeeze with the arm that was still around my shoulders. "Blaine is very important to my family. He can stay with us."

Dad met my teary eyes quickly before turning his attention back to the doctor, who had begun speaking again. I just tuned him out. I rested my head against my dad's arm and closed my eyes.

"Thank you Daddy," I whispered.

He replied wordlessly with a quick kiss to my forehead before returning his focus to the doctor.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

About an hour or so later, we were told that two of us were allowed to go in and see him. Without even discussing it, my dad and I stood up and followed the intensive care nurse to Blaine's room.

He was awake, lying on his back and almost unrecognisable under all the bandages, but his good eye locked on both of mine the second I walked through the door. I raced to his side, pressing whisper soft kisses to his forehead, his cheeks and his hair. I was sobbing again, I knew, but I realised quickly that they weren't the anguished tears from before. These were 'happy that you're alive' sobs. Sobs which Blaine echoed with fervour as his tears poured silently down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Blaine. I should have stayed with you at the mall. We shouldn't have kissed like that at my car. I … I'm so sorry," I finished brokenly.

He reached out to touch my cheek softly, cupping it in the palm of his hand, trying to comfort me. His gaze never left mine. I heard my dad pull up a chair for me alongside the bed, and I gratefully sank into it.

We just stayed like that, staring into each other's eyes with our fingers linked together and resting on the stiff sheets beside him until my father broke the silence.

"Blaine?" he asked softly. "Can you tell us what happened? Who did this to you?"

Blaine's one open eye suddenly took on a panicked look, and his tears started again. I reached out my other hand to touch my dad's fingers, which were resting against my shoulder as he stood partially behind me.

"Not yet, Dad," I said gently, correctly interpreting my boyfriend's fear. "He needs a little time. He's not ready to talk just yet." I gave Blaine what I hoped was a comforting, supportive smile, not realising just how true my own words were at that time. Of course, I didn't know it then, but Blaine wasn't going to be ready to talk for quite a while.

I stood up to lean over him, kissing him gently and lingeringly on his forehead as I gently smoothed his hair.

"Don't worry, love," I whispered, low enough for just his ears only. "I'll stay here with you, I promise. You won't be alone ever again. I will not leave your side."

He gave me a grateful stare in reply. Within minutes, his eyes slipped closed and he drifted away into the peaceful oblivion of sleep.

I stayed there all night, never letting go of his hand, never leaving his side.

My guilt was incredible. I knew that if I hadn't left him alone in that car park, this never would have happened. That kiss - that damned kiss by my car - that's what had caused this, I was sure. The people who had done this must have seen that kiss and waited until Blaine was alone before they attacked him. That horrible three-letter-word scratched into the paint on his car had confirmed my fears; I'd seen it for myself when I walked out to the ambulance.

God... Blaine would cry when he saw what they had done to his beautiful car. He was so proud of that car, and I think, in a funny way, he felt that it was pretty much all he had left of his family. He and his dad had spent countless hours poring over that hunk of classic old metal in their driveway restoring it to its original beauty. Even though Blaine had always been well aware of his father's ulterior motives for wanting to get his son's hands dirty, Blaine still recalled that summer as one of the happiest times of his life, bonding with his dad.

And now even that was gone.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The police came in the afternoon but eventually left empty handed. Blaine still wouldn't talk.

I told them as much as I could and gave them my own theories, which Blaine listened to with tears in his eyes, but he had never even so much as nodded to confirm or deny any of them.

Nurses and doctors came and went, as did a stream of visitors. Classmates from Dalton as well as most of the Warblers and all of my McKinley friends stopped by, but Blaine wouldn't even meet their eyes.

He never took his eyes off me unless it was to sleep, and even then, I could sense his panic upon awakening. As his eyelids fluttered open, his hand would tremble and he would moan, only calming when he again locked his gaze on mine.

Though I was devastated that this had affected him so deeply, I couldn't help but be thankful that he could at least still be comforted by my presence. He and I had been there for each other so many times in so many different ways since we first met on the stairs at Dalton eight months ago, and if we had lost that trust that we had in each other, nothing would ever be the same again.

I wished with all of my heart that I could do something for him, something to ease the pain. It was obvious that my mere presence soothed him immensely, but I wanted to be able to do more than just 'be here' for him.

That second night, I stayed with him while my family went home to get some sleep. My dad had tried to convince me to join them, but I knew that Blaine couldn't handle me leaving him here. As it was, he had panicked when he had woken from a nap earlier to find himself alone. I'd only left him for a moment to use the bathroom, but his terrified screams tore me away from where I'd been washing my face in the sink. It had taken him ages to calm down from that, and I hadn't even actually left his room that time. I dreaded to think how badly it would affect him if I went home.

I tried to encourage him to talk to me, but he wouldn't say a word. Then I began to wonder if he could speak? I knew the gash on his chin must be incredibly painful. Maybe that was what was preventing him from communicating with me verbally? But wasn't like he had tried to talk and just found it too painful so he avoided doing so - as far as I was aware, he hadn't even attempted to speak since his surgery. Come to think of it, he hadn't said a word at my house either, so he hadn't actually spoken since the attack.

I had one more card to play. I looked Blaine straight in the eye and told him that I loved him. Since the first time we had exchanged those words some four months ago, he had never failed to reply with an "I love you too, beautiful." But as I sat gently stroking his hair while waiting for his reply, I choked on the realisation that there was always a first time for everything.

Blaine just wasn't ready to speak.

He'd soon dozed off again, and I'd begun to play scenarios in my head of what I should have done yesterday. Of course, the obvious one was asking myself why in the Hell I hadn't invited Blaine over to the house to join us for family dinner? Why hadn't that occurred to me? If I had, he would never have been left alone in that car park, and this disgusting assault would never have happened. But there were others as well, such as why did I have to make it so blatantly obvious that I was gay and that Blaine and I were dating? I'm not saying we should hide our feelings for each other, but we didn't have to be as flamboyant about it as I insisted we were. I wasn't ashamed of who or what I was, but if it caused this kind of pain to the boy I loved with all my heart, then maybe I shouldn't have been so 'proud' about being this way.

My dad's words from the night before my junior prom haunted me, and I kept running over them in my head. "I think you're trying to stir the pot a bit, trying to get some attention." Even Blaine had advised me against giving people a reason to cause any trouble, but I didn't listen. Maybe if I had, the school might not have turned on me and tried to humiliate me by making me ' Prom Queen'.

Maybe I could have saved Blaine from this kind of treatment.

Maybe this was all my fault.

Maybe Blaine would realise this if I gave him any time alone to think things through... which I suddenly realised was another part of the reason why I didn't want to go home.

Because maybe, just maybe, he would decide he was better off on his own.

Maybe he would be right.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

To be continued...

BloodRedLust