Summary: Kallian Tabris always hated humans, and with good reason; They'd taken everything she'd ever loved. Now she's forced to join them in a grand battle to save Ferelden, and she doesn't like it one bit.
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age: Origins. So if you have any requests about a possible sequel, don't ask me.
Author's note: Thank you very much, reviewers, for your kind words! :) I really appreciate them, and they're really motivating. I hope this chapter does not disappoint.
The day had almost come to an end, the sun was beginning to set, and the day-time guards were relieved of their duties by the night squad. Despite this, Kallian still didn't feel like returning to camp. The entire day had been spent near the tower of Ishall with Alistair, who, despite her quiet glares, continued to speak to her even after she told him to shut up. He'd spoken of many things, the other two recruits back in the camp, that pesky Chantry priest that kept harrassing him, his fondness of cheese, and of course the Grey Wardens.
He hadn't been the first to try and educate her, Duncan had spent an entire week trying to tell her what Grey Wardens did exactly, and she'd flat out ignored him, finding the ceiling of the carriage much more interesting. After nearly two hours of talking, Kallian had finally told Alistair that she honestly couldn't care less about Grey Wardens, and that she'd simply kill any darkspawn that got in her way. He seemed to find her reaction amusing, but then again, there was a reason everyone called him a fool.
As they entered the camp again, Kallian grew quiet once more, frowning deeply whenever she passed a human, and even deeper whenever she passed one of her own kind, sitting on their knees and scrubbing the floor. Was this really how low the elves had sunk?
"You know, I was just thinking..." Alistair started quietly as they marched through the camp. Kallian rolled her eyes, "Well, there's a first time for everything I suppose..." she couldn't help but smirk when she saw Alistair frown at her.
"You are such an icequeen, I'll bet you could freeze the sun if you wanted to," he sighed, "But anyway, it just occured to me there have never been many women in the Grey Wardens... I wonder why that is..." he scratched his chin and eyed her curiously.
Kallian stopped abrubtly, "What are you implying, human?"
"Oh no, nothing... just that it's a little odd, that's all." he shrugged as he leaned back against a wall.
Strangely enough, fighting with Alistair seemed to make her forget where she was, if only for a moment, "Maybe women are too smart to be travelling around with a bunch of idiotic boys, playing hero."
His lack of a response angered her greatly, maybe he was a simple minded fool, or maybe he just didn't take anything she said seriously. "So what does that say about you? You're here, aren't you?"
"I told you, Duncan forced me to come." Kallian huffed as she started walking again in the direction of Duncan's tent... if she remembered correctly...
"Oh come now, you could've escaped if you really wanted to...," he flailed his arms around in a dramatic fasion as her rushed after her, "that tongue of yours can freeze things faster than any frost spell I've ever seen a mage cast."
"If that were the case, you would've been a little blond icecube by now." she honestly had no idea why she even spoke to this man. In her experience, many problems simply went away if you ignored them long enough, however, this boy proved to be hardheaded, and so she'd moved onto the second stage; Insult. She'd been insulting him the entire afternoon, and even now she threw some snide remarks his way, none of them having the desired effect. Much to her own surprise, she wished she were back at Duncan's tent. At least he left her alone after a while, and when he spoke, it wasn't about useless things. She prayed they would be back soon, so Alistair could go annoy someone else.
Apparently, her sense of direction was a bit off out here, for she almost entered the wrong tent, thinking it was Duncan's.
"Halt!" the guard called quickly as he grasped her arm, "You approach the tent of Teyrn Loghain, state your business."
"Teyrn what?" she asked plainly, receiving amazed stares from both Alistair and the guard, "Am I supposed to know this guy?"
"You... don't know who Teyrn Loghain is...?" the guard asked in shock, staring from her, to Alistair, and back at her again.
Kallian shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest, "No, what do I care about your human politics?"
"Who is it?" a voice suddenly called from inside the tent, "I told you, no visitors!"
"S-Sorry my Lord, it's one of the Grey Warden recruits, I'll send her away."
"Right. We'll be on our way then." Kallian sighed as she turned away, ready to leave, when a large man stepped out of the tent, eyeing her strangely.
"Well... that's surprising..." he started as he looked her over, barely paying any attention to Alistair, "A Grey Warden without a pompous attitude? That's a first."
"Amazing how you can tell when you haven't even met me." Alistair bit his lip, looking around to see if Duncan was anywhere nearby in case things got out of hand.
"Yes, well, not many of your companions take "no" for an answer," it was clear this man didn't like Grey Wardens much. Good, at least they had something in common then. "You must be that new recruit Cailan mentioned... the one with the horror stories, I take it?"
Kallian nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow when she saw Alistair gesturing about something, she had no idea what it meant though, "I'm surprised he didn't wet his pants, the way he looked..."
Loghain shrugged his shoulders, "King Cailan is a very young man, naïve in many ways..." he sighed deeply, "I keep telling myself his youthful ignorance is the cause of his foolish facinations... I pray it's his youthful ignorance..."
"Or maybe he's just a fool." Kallian blurted out, causing Alistair to softly bang his head against the Teyrn's tentpost.
Loghain expression hardened somewhat, "He is young, I need to remember that. And it would serve you well to remember it as well." he straightened slightly, stretching the strain from his tired muscles, no doubt he'd been sitting in the same position for quite some time, "So... I don't suppose you'll be riding off into the thick of battle with the rest of your buddies, will you?"
Kallian's eyes widened, "I would certainly hope not!" Let them sacrifice themselves, she preferred to sit back and watch if it was all the same to them. Sending a rogue off to fight large groups of enemies at once was a bad idea anyway, surely Duncan would realize that.
"Huh... you're wiser than you look..." Loghain noted as he turned before quietly adding "You won't want to be down there when the darkspawn come," he glanced over his shoulder, sending cold shivers down the young elf's back, "Trust me."
And with that, the Teyrn entered his tent again, leaving the newest of the Grey Wardens with a gigantic lump in her throat.
---
By the time Alistair and Kallian had returned to Duncan's tent, the other two recruits had already arrived. What seemed impossible turned out to be not so impossible after all... both Ser Jory and Daveth were more annoying than Alistair. Ser Jory, or the big dumbass as Kallian liked to call him in her head, seemed to complain about absolutely anything... so much so that she'd actually begun to regret her own behavior... now she realized just how incredibly frustrating it was to deal with someone who just couldn't stop nagging. "My wife this, my wife that, why so many tests? What is our next test? Why do we have to do that?" the endless flow of questions drove her to the brink of insanity, and she swore to herself that if he mentioned his wife or his offspring again, she'd assasinate him in his sleep, no one would miss him anyway.
Daveth had at first seemed like a reasonable man by shemlen standards... that was until he started cracking lame jokes, "Oh, I'll watch her back alright!" Still, compared to Jory, he wasn't too terrible.
Their plates were empty quicker than she'd thought, she hadn't realized quite how hungry she'd been until the smell of food filled her nostrils. Of course, the food was nothing to write home about, but what else could be expected in a camp full of soldiers in the middle of nowhere? Besides, Jory did more than enough whining, or gagging really, for the rest of them. It seemed the knight wasn't used to the thick dry soup that had been presented to him, and as a result, nearly choked a few times. Kallian was sadly dissappointed to see him eventually swallow it all.
During dinner, Duncan had quietly explained their mission for tomorrow; The three recruits were to go into the Wilds to fill three vials with darkspawn blood, as the blood was needed for the Joining. Of course, upon asking about the Joining, Duncan had quickly changed the subject. They were to also retrieve some old Grey Warden documents. As a safety measure, Alistair was to accompany them into the Wilds. Kallian believed sending that loud-mouthed idiot along would only harm their chances of survival, but decided to give Duncan a break for today, and had kept her thoughts to herself.
"Very well then, I would advice going to bed early, you will be leaving at dawn, if you have any questions, ask them tomorrow, I will be there to see you off." with that, Duncan stood up and headed for the king's tent to discuss the upcoming battle.
"Well..." Daveth started, glancing around the campfire, "I'll be heading off to bed then," his eyes landed on Kallian and he smiled seductively, "Should you get cold tonight..."
Kallian rose an eyebrow, "I'll get another blanket?"
Daveth laughed softly, shaking his head as he entered his tent, "Sweet dreams."
After a short silence, Ser Jory spoke up once more, directing his voice at Alistair, "So, will you tell us what this Joining ritual entails then?"
Alistair shifted uncomfortably, "Like Duncan said, you will learn all in good time..."
"Why all these secrets? Is there a reason you're not telling us?" Jory narrowed his eyes somewhat, "I don't see why you'd have to hide it from your own recruits."
"Oh for the love of-!" Kallian rolled onto her back, "Can't you just shut it for one second? It's not like your endless whining is going to make them talk... so just do us all a favor and go talk to your tentpole or something... see if it talks back."
Alistair fought back a chuckle as Jory put on a somewhat childish pout, "I'm off to bed." he muttered quickly as he gathered his belongings before rushing off to his tent.
As soon as Jory was out of hearing distance, Alistair finally couldn't contain his laughter anymore, "You know, for once, I'm actually glad you've got a bitchy streak."
"Yeah? Well, if you wanna make use of my services, it'll cost you." she mumbled into her pillow, feeling her eyelids growing quite heavy. She'd used up all her energy for today it seemed.
"Oh? And just what payments do you accept, my lady?" Alistair asked with a toothy grin, leaning over so he could hear her better through her pillow.
Kallian slowly rose her head, smiling seductively, "What do you think, big boy?" she slowly propped herself up on her elbows, "You know what I want... don't you?"
"W-What...?" Alistair mumbled, trying to hide his glowing cheeks behind the fire.
Kallian smirked, holding her hand up close to his face, "Three Sovereigns, if you please."
"Ohh..." he laughed nervously, "I see... for a moment I thought... no, never mind... you're evil. Pure evil I tell you."
"And you'll be paying me six Sovereigns if you keep trying to talk your way out of it."
Alistair sat back casually, feeling a lot more relaxed now, "Don't you think you're overprizing?"
Kallian tilted her head slightly, "Oh? Maybe you'd like me to call Jory back over here then?"
The young templar smiled, "You drive a hard bargain." shaking his head slowly, he reached into his pocket, "I've only got one Sovereign... you'll get the rest later."
"Fine. So long as you remember I charge interest."
---
That night, sleep didn't come easily to Kallian. Being surrounded by all these humans made her feel uneasy, but more than that, seeing her own people in such a degrading position caused her to keep thinking of home. In the Alienage, there were times when she could pretend there were no humans. She could pretend there was nothing outside the gates, that the old, run-down buildings of her home were the only thing out there... no humans, no dwarves, no other elves... just her and her community. But being out here, so far away from home, it became obvious; Humans very much controlled the world, whether they admitted it or not. She'd seen maybe two dwarves, and the only elves she'd seen were slaves to the humans, who'd call them "servants" so they didn't seem as cruel when they made them clean their filth.
The thought that there were so many of them out there made her feel uncomfortable. She wasn't stupid. She knew well enough that not all humans were like Vaughan, that not all of them frequently went out to rape innocent women, or to beat up innocent men... but a part of her felt that perhaps, they were worse than men like Vaughan. Vaughan had been a bastard, but at least he didn't pretend to be something he wasn't, at least he didn't act like a good man. Whereas men like Duncan and Alistair pretended to be good men, but at the same time, completely ignored all the injustice around them. They didn't stand up for the poor servants here, they didn't tell those lazy soldiers to clean their own stuff, they simply allowed them to be talked down to, as if they were nothing but a piece of furniture.
Ever since she was a little girl, Kallian had been crazy about stories of the Dalish elves. Some thought the stories were just that: Stories. But Kallian couldn't help but believe, couldn't help but hope they were real. Just the thought of elves running around freely, fighting for their place in the world, and not bowing down before the humans made her heart beat faster. It was what she'd always dreamed of, whenever a human would come scan the Alienage for some "fresh meat", she'd think of the Dalish elves, and how they would all step outside their houses to confront the humans, telling them they wouldn't be taking one of their kind with them, and if they tried, the whole clan would fight to protect their companion.
Instead, her people closed the blinds whenever something happened, not wanting to get involved. Girls were told from a very early age to just 'let it happen', so that they could return home quickly, and put it behind them. It had always seemed weak to her, and at times, she felt outright disgusted by her own people.
However, being out here now, she realized that maybe, 'letting it happen' was the best thing to do. No matter how many humans they'd fight, there would always be more, and regardless of who was right and what was wrong, they'd always be supported by their people, no matter what.
She sighed softly as she rolled onto her side, painful memories of the Alienage suddenly rushing in at incredible speeds. She remembered the very same words escaping one of her bridesmaids lips 'let it happen', 'put it behind us quickly'. She'd been angry at her when she said it, but now...
Reaching into her pack, she gently pulled out her wedding ring, the ring Nelaros had carried with him when he and Soris had come to rescue them. She frowned sadly as she fitted the ring around her finger. Just what had their defiance accomplished? Shianni had still been raped, Nelaros had been killed, and no doubt Soris and the others were dealing with the consequences of Vaughan's death right now.
What if she had just let it happen? What if she had come willingly, without making a scene at her wedding? Perhaps then, Vaughan wouldn't have needed to smack her down, perhaps then, Nelaros would've accepted her decision and stayed where it was safe. Perhaps then, they wouldn't have taken out all their frustration and anger on Shianni. They would've all had to endure the worst type of torture, but afterwards, they would've been able to return home, she would've been able to get married, Soris would've been able to get married. With time, they'd all come to accept what had happened, and move on.
She slowly shook her head as she turned back around again. No, she'd done what needed to be done. If no one ever stood up to them, they'd keep doing it, and would she really be any better than these servants if she'd just accept this type of treatment?
Perhaps one day, the world would come to accept them as their equals. Until then, the Dalish were the closest things to freedom that excisted for elves such as her.
After twisting and turning for a few more minutes, Kallian finally felt all of her energy drain away... slowly but surely, she lost her focus as she drifted between consciousness and sleep, sleep eventually winning the tug of war. Her body released all it's tension for a moment as she drifted off into a peacefull sleep, the peace did not last for long though, as soon, the pleasant darkness was replaced with horrid dreams. Dreams of what had happened, dreams of what was to happen.
At least her dreams were her own.
Thank you very much for reading! I hope you liked this chapter too, and feel generous enough to leave a review. :P
Until next time! Have a pleasant day/night!