Author Note: Back from the dead! Comes the story, not many were waiting for! Not many, expected an update for! And even less people, have even read before!

And it comes back...with a minor plot twist! Ye' Gods!

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Fire Emblem 7: Rekka No Ken

The Great Cookie Theft, by A BlackHole

Chapter 2: STOP ADVENTURE!

(------)

"…Mark?"

"Yes Matthew?

"Why am I the one stuck doing the real dirty work this time?"

Sighing, Mark could only roll his eyes at his associate's incompetence. "Matthew," speaking as if addressing a young child, he rubbed his temples gently. "It is a renown fact that all Thieves has just what it takes, even more so if you're a spy which confidently you are, to find all the information needed on people at any given time and place. You are the PERFECT man for this job!"

To Matthew however, that seemed to hardly be an argument to justify his assigned task.

"…That's not what I remember."

(Flashback.)

"Hey," staring up at the clouds like the lazy bard he truly was, Nils tilted his heard towards Matthew. Considering the mood they were both in, it seemed to the Bard that this was yet another perfect chance for him to skip out on his assigned duties. Although as far as working for Mark went, doing one's "duty" was most likely to be a task as idiotic as it was simple and boring. "I don't want to look for Lowen, I'll give you ten Gold if you do it."

"No way," Matthew said, laying down in an equally lazy mannerism. "You do it. I'm tired after having to talk to those three damned Pegasus Knights."

"Three mental cases?"

"That's the nice way to put it."

"…But I'm sick of listening to Mark." Nils groaned. "We've only asked three people, and already we're out of bandages for Mark, exhausted ourselves, and lost a member of our team."

"Nino is with Jaffar, right?"

"I think so," Nils said, "come on Matthew, do me this favor once. I'm REALLY tired after telling my hopelessly long story."

"Yeah? Well so am I for having to listen to it. So kiss it dragon-boy."

Glaring at the Thief for his lie, Nils took a moment to think. This was his chance, and he wasn't about to miss it. "Fine, how about this?" Taking out a Gold coin from one of his pouches, Nils handed it over to Matthew. "We'll do a coin toss, whoever wins has to find Lowen?"

Not paying attention to the specific details of the deal, Matthew just nodded. "Whatever."

"Alright," tossing the coin into the air, Matthew prepared himself to catch it. "Call what side you want."

"Heads!" Matthew shouted.

"Tails!" Nils called.

Lifting his hand, Matthew beamed. "HAH! Heads! I win! That means I…I…ah crap."

Nils smiled.

Looking over at Nils, Matthew frowned. "I have to go find Lowen for Mark now, don't I?"

"Yup."

"…I hate you."

(End Flashback.)

Blinking to shake off the after effects of a boring flashback, Matthew continued to protest to Mark. "But HOW am I supposed to know what EXACTLY Lowen was doing when we were at breakfast!?"

"Simple," Mark smiled like the genius he was, "go up and ask him."

"Ask him!?" Matthew shouted. "And what if he lies!?"

"He won't lie," Mark continued his stupid smile before even shedding a single tear. "Because…he's a TRUE KNIGHT OF PHEARE!"

Taking a moment to laugh like the lunatic he was, Mark sighed happily wiping a tear from his eyes. "His loyalty and dedication is really something else, huh?"

"…Mark." This time Matthew spoke slowly, slower than Mark had to him before. "If we're trying to find a guilty criminal, you know, one that's already committed a crime openly, don't you think there's a LITTLE chance that he or she will try to lie to us when giving their testimony? AND attempt to pin the crime to someone innocent?"

"Lie? To us?" Mark gasped, "that's absurd! No true Knight, which Lowen is, would ever lie to his superior! You should be ashamed of yourself for such… MEAN accusations Matthew!"

Gritting his teeth, Matthew took a deep breath.

"Well what SHOULD I do Mark?"

"Have you tried looking into his eyes? I heard you can tell if someone is lying by how their eyes move when they answer."

"Mark, we can't see Lowen's eyes."

"WHAT!?" Mark gasped again, about the news that was certainly news to him. "I've never noticed that…" Scratching his chin, Mark nodded as he began to piece together the puzzle in his mind. "I see it now… Yeah… Some loyal Knight he is! A filthy, dirty, orange armored, horse riding, teal haired criminal is more like it!"

"How does riding a horse or having teal hair make Lowen a criminal?"

"Simple," Mark said. "All bandits OBVIOUSLY ride horses after robbing a bank! And the teal hair CAN'T be his real hair color, so he's obviously hiding his identity from someone! SOMEONE AFTER HIM FOR A CRIME HE COMMITED!"

"…Then does that mean Fiora is a criminal?"

"Huh?"

"We just finished asking Fiora questions, remember? The last five idiotic minutes of my life? And she was innocent, rode a flying horse, and has teal…ish…hair."

"…But she doesn't count." Smiling, Mark's eyes lit up with an idea. "Hey! Maybe we should set up an interrogation trial or something. You know, we could use Phaere's own court system and everything! It's not as if Lord Eliwood is using it right now."

Blinking, Matthew decided maybe for Lowen's sake that someone defend him before Mark's insane mock trial began. After all, he could already imagine a court ruled, kept under order, and judged by Mark. While Lowen was to be defended by the rookie attorney Mark, and the professional prosecutioner Mark asking ridiculously inappropriate questions.

"I don't think we should do that Mark. For many, many reasons," he held his hand up as if swearing. "Trust me."

Mark blinked.

"Why can't we do it?"

"Oh, I don't know," Matthew shrugged, sarcasm dripping from his words. "Maybe because there's an idiot on the loose who's attempting to solve a mystery and will end up doing more harm if let loose to do as he pleases?"

"I see your point… Fascinating," Mark sounded interested. "And just WHO is this idiot you speak of?"

Matthew groaned. The first day of the investigation was still a long ways from being over.

After a moment of silence, Mark spoke.

"…Matthew?"

"…Yes, Mark?"

"…Why can't I be the sworn in as a royal legal Detective for Eliwood, Lyndis, and Hector?"

"…Uh…Well,"

It stuck Matthew at that point, that the long chain of events that had occurred from Mark's particularly innocent request when the day had started earlier would now have to be summarized into an extremely simplistic and undisputable story.

Disregarding the ceremonial formalities revolving around a Lordling or Princess swearing in an individual into a royal position, if Mark wanted his royal post (despite how fictional) he would have had to be sworn in by the chief court justice of Phaere. And the honorable gentleman occupying the post, who Matthew could only describe as steely, with a domineering personality stemming with loyalty to Eliwood's family line, had actually resigned abruptly rather than collaborate in an act he felt was utterly outside of the spirit of any law in Elbe's existence.

This unexpected action left the next in line of Phaere's court system, with little choice but to call on one of the other many people making up the court's bureaucracy.

The woman then on the court also threatened to resign voluntarily, fourteen minutes after being notified that she was being sounded out. She had put forth her explanation to Eliwood an overwhelming yearning to return to the field she apparently loved most: housework. All her life working in Phaere's court system, she had stated, she had aspired only to be a simple housewife.

The other plain and orthodox members of the court were spurned as simply not colorful enough and insufficiently well known. Their rejection became all the more final when from their chambers the constitutional doubt filtered out through unnamed sources and unidentified background officials as to whether ANY honorable member of Phaere's court in the land of Lycia truly possessed the nerve to swear in a man like Mark into an office close to the highest ranking of the monarchy.

Could someone like Mark perform official tasks for the royalty without being recognized by the royalty's supporting staff first?

"I still don't get it," said Mark, not waiting for Matthew to answer. "Could you explain it again?"

"I…don't think I can," Matthew said grimly.

"Try. Who appointed the chief justice of the court?"

"Eliwood's father did."

"Right. But I can't be appointed a royal detective until I've been sworn in?"

"That's right too," Matthew said glumly.

"Who swears me in?"

"Whoever you want to."

"I…want the chief court justice."

"Phaere currently no longer has a chief court justice."

"And we will have no chief justice until Eliwood approves of one? And I can't be approved until we-"

"You've got in now," Matthew heaved a sigh of relief. "…I think."

In silence, and with an expression of surly disappointment, Matthew was regretting once more that he and his wife-to-be were no longer on speaking terms for a couple of major reasons. He hankered for someone trustworthy with whom he could be burlesque such conversations in safety. He thought of Lord Hector, yet, Matthew was also intelligent enough to understand that he himself would probably not think so much of himself either if her were anybody other than himself. Matthew was honest enough to know when he was dishonest, and had just enough intelligence left to know, in the long run, he had none.

"Yes. I think I've got it," said the detective/tactician, with a glimmer of hope. "I think I'm beginning to click again on all fingers."

"That would not surprise me." Matthew sounded a lot less affirmative than he meant to.

"Well, why can't we do both of them together? Couldn't I be sworn in as a royal detective while Eliwood is swearing in the sucker as the new chief court justice too?"

"No," said Matthew.

"Why not?"

"He'll have to be confirmed by the lower courts first. They would have to agree to his appointment first."

Well then," Mark sat up straight with a very broad smile of nifty achievement, one he usually wore when working at a three by three puzzle cube thrown at him by Lady Lyndis to keep him occupied. "Couldn't the lower courts be swearing him in at the same time Eliwood appoints him while at the same time he swears me in?"

"No," Matthew told him firmly. "And please don't ask me why. It's not possible Mark. Please take my word on it."

"Well then," Mark huffed, "how in the hell did this mess ever come about!?"

"I don't know," Matthew warned himself reprovingly that he, at all costs, must not sound sarcastic. It was something Mark was able to pick up at unwanted times. "It could just be another oversight by the Lycian League."

"WHAT!?" Mark immediately stood up, as if possessed by an overwhelming force that was propelling him into a choleric rage originating from some inconceivable blasphemy. "There are no oversights, are there!? The Lycian League constitution is perfect, isn't it!?"

Mathew couldn't help but think how, that after nearly a millennium of peace, the entire continent of Elbe was beginning to fall apart in timing with Lady Lyndis's discovery of Mark on the plains of Sacae only a year ago.

"…We have several amendments, I think."

"What!? You do!? I don't know that."

"It's not a secret, Mark."

"How was I supposed to know? And what is an amendment anyway!? Some kind of change?"

"Yeah."

"Well how was I supposed to know?" Mark's mood was again one of morose despair. "So that's where we still stand, right? I can't appoint a-"

"YES." Matthew deemed it better to cut the idiot off rather than to have them both subjected to the litany once more.

"Well! Then it's just like a…a…Catch-22 isn't it?" the tactician blurted out unexpectedly, and then brightened at this evidence of his own inspiration. "I don't want Eliwood to appoint a new chief justice until I become a royal detective, but the same person can't swear me into my position until Eliwood appoints him with my permission."

Mark then looked over to Matthew.

"…Isn't that a Catch-22?"

Matthew looked to Mark, before starting to stare fiercely at the grass and began to make up his mind sooner to forfeit his position of "prestige" with the incoming brute of Ostia rather than having to deal with a person like Mark on a daily-basis.

He began to stare at the sky, and saw, a large simplified cloud that seemed to hang from the sky positioning the entire world around it. With the idiotic conversation still fresh in his mind, Matthew began brooding upon Lycia's historical past. Possibly, it had always been thus, he was thinking, between sovereign and adviser, that the subordinate was in all ways but rank the superior. It was then that Matthew, in exhausted desperation, snapped out accidentally the solution to their problems that would save the day.

And just maybe, the cookies too.

(-----)

"When can I see her!?" Fiora heard her younger blue haired sister demand. Her sister's hair was thicker than her own and would notably curl, as it was now, when stressed.

"As soon as she's safe," answered Nils forwardly.

"Fiora! Didn't he just say that Florina WAS safe!?"

Fiora glanced away. "It's what I thought I heard."

Pressing her brow against the pane of the glass window, Fiora stared intently at the field of grass bellow and the colorful kaleidoscope of trees and fauna, wondering, with a downhearted presentiment of already having missed out on much in her life, if there could possibly ever be any joy to be found in living in such a countryside assuming she could ever bring herself to move out of Ilia. The stunning landscape before her was riddle with pockets of fields and plains, and during this season would be ringed about with the drifting tides of Phaerean villagers doing their own routine business.

"I meant safe for us." She heard Nils defend himself plaintively and turned to watch. Nils appeared suspiciously triumphant for the question he'd been asked. "She is safe for our investigation, and cannot be appropriated by even the royal monarchy of Bern if they were to try and take her for whatever reasons."

"Where is she?" Farina wanted to know.

"In some place, I would guess. I really don't know."

"Does Mark know!?"

"Do I know if he knows?"

"If you did, would you tell me?"

"If he said that I could."

"If he said that you couldn't?"

"I would say I don't know."

"As you're saying right now." Fiora cut in, as her Farina let out a stream of inconceivable words before storming off. "At least you're truthful."

Nils nodded. "I try."

"Even when you lie," Fiora wrinkled her nose. "There's a paradox here. We are talking in circles."

"But I never went to Etruian divinity school."

"And what," continued Fiora, "am I supposed to tell Lord Hector when he comes looking? If there is anyone who can get straight to the bottom of this mess," she threatened, "I certainly will bet it is him."

"What could he do?" Nils scoffed. "Matthew is always with us."

Briefly defeated, Fiora muster up another counter.

"…Lady Lyndis?"

"Oh, no," said Nils, turning whiter than customary when cornered. "I-I'll have to find out. What you should tell Hector truthfully-"

"I do not," Fiora stressed, "want to lie to him Nils."

The teenage dragon seemed offended. "I'll have you know I NEVER choose to be anything but truthful. It's right here in my own manual on manners and labor, underneath Lies. What YOU must tell Lord Hector," Nils was now reciting dutifully, "is that she is well and misses him. She also looks forward to rejoining her as soon as she is not in or a danger to everything else on Elbe."

"…That's a new wrinkle, isn't it?"

"Please," Nils flinched, "that one happened to be true."

"…And you would say that even if it weren't?"

"That is also perfectly true," admitted Nils, with a nerve only a hundred year old dragon hiding as a teenager could pull off.

"Nils," said Fiora harshly, in a tone signifying that she was no longer playing. "I'm going to want to talk to my sister soon, and I know Mark knows where she is. And I know what you'll say. You'll say that you have to find out."

"Well," Nils corrected, "I'll have to find out first if I can find out."

"Find out if you can find out if Mark can arrange it. Because I know Lady Lyndis could."

Nils paled again. "You'd r-really…go to Lady Lyndis?"

"Lady Lyndis will come to me first once she finds out that Florina is missing. And together we will find my sister if need be."

Nils was shaken. "I…I'll go tell Mark. I must tell Mark first, you see."

Fiora simply smiled, as she watched the dragon kid flee.

"You go do that."

(-----)

"Alright, time for me to organize what we've found out so far…"

There was a certain appeal to proper organization, Matthew held in mind, that also ran the chance of appealing for more money later onward while answering above and beyond the call of duty as an Ostian spy. Not that he was one to ever go above the call of duty to one's province; the problem of course mainly stemming from the fact that his regularly assigned duties were already far and beyond above the call of duty for a regularly paid political informant. Life was too short, as he had learned the hard way, and the human body far too frail for the exertions he now demanded of himself daily.

"Nils will be back with his aftermath report on the Pegasus sisters," Matthew continued to write, while speaking to himself. "Nino will be back soon…which I am not looking forward to…"

Nino had of course gone out earlier in an effort to search for the one man she knew could get answers out of anyone in the army: Jaffar.

Whether or not Jaffar would have the patients to wait for many of the members of the army to answer questions when interrogated, was questionable.

Matthew groaned, "I still have to find Lowen…I don't want to have to do this crap."

Laying back down on one of the many lawns of castle Phaere, he couldn't help but notice how the birds were about. And how the sun was shining not too brightly, but enough to fell the warm rays basking the earth around him. And how the wind blew gentle enough to bend the stunted grass all around him, while cooling his body just comfortably enough. Without all of the problem stacking up around him, the world seemed strangely harmonic and oddly at peace with the rest of the universe.

It was a nice change.

A very nice cha-

"MATTHEW!"

"…Sigh."

He knew that voice. That terribly youthful voice. Although rarely was it ever voiced so loudly and…um, desperately?

"MATTHEW!" Nils shouted again, still running toward him. "We've got TROUBLE! Big trouble!"

Matthew could only wager that meant things were getting from bad, to worse.

"Nils," Matthew groaned one last time. "The world feels like it's at peace. What could Mark or anyone have done wrong that hasn't doomed the world at this point?"

"It's serious!" Nils defended, in between exhausted breathes. "Fiora and Farina want their sister back! Or they'll go to-"

"What?" Matthew interrupted, resisting the urge to groaning again. "They can have her! It's not like we're holding under arrest still." He waved his hand, as motioning for the dragon-kid-person to bugger off. "Tell them we'll keep the idiot away from their sister from now on."

"Yeah, about that," Nils shrugged. "Last time I checked we sort of do. Or at least Mark said we did somewhere."

"No, we don't." Matthew said again, refusing to roll back over. "Mark let her go after we asked the three sisters together an hour ago. Remember?"

"But I remember," Nils rebuffed, "that Mark thought Florina was hiding something by how…uh…well, you know, how she ALWAYS acts to men. So he asked the guards from Phaere to take her to a secret place for later questioning."

Matthew then rolled back over.

"So wait, you think Mark still has Florina somewhere waiting for her to be interrogated? And her sisters want her back really, really soon?"

"Yeah. Or they'll sic Lyndis on us. But," Nils then scratched his head in thought. "I don't remember Mark ever telling me where that was…"

"…Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Do you think I'm saying what you think I'm saying?"

"Nils! Not now!" Matthew gritted his teeth. "I don't trust Mark to remember which part of a lance to try and attack someone with! If you're telling me that he's put Florina away against her will in some secret place to be interrogated, that's really secret, then-"

"Probably…by supper time," nodded Nils, happy with his estimation. "He'll have completely forgotten about her and everything abo-"

Matthew's eye's met Nils.

"…Uh-oh."

(-----)

Author's Note: And our first victim is, sadly for her, Florina! A victim in a way that will, sadly for her, probably continue right up until the story ends. Boo-hoo.

But on the bright side, she'll get more attention that some others because of it!

For the record, what happened during Fiora and Farina's interrogation will be revealed eventually. I choose not to for now. Yeah.

So the real question now is: who will be NEXT!? Knights? Swordsmen? Mages? Oh-my!