DISCLAIMER:
Once again characters from Lords of Dogtown do not belong to me.
Only
Kathryn, Shoe, Racecar, their parents, and Jackson do.
What If I Said
Chapter
2:
I'd Love You To Want Me,
The Way That I Want You
I know where he's going now. He's going to the elementary, the old closed one. Stacy always goes there for some reason. I expect to see him zooming around on his skateboard, beautiful blonde hair flying around wildly, and am taken by surprise when I spot him sitting on a swing staring at the ground. "See what you've done to him, you made him sad. Go make him feel better." Jay prompts, gently pushing me toward him. I sit on a swing next to him. "So this is what you do on Saturdays nowadays, sit in abandoned elementary school playgrounds and stare at your feet? That's kinda boring. I half expected you to do at least do something a little more creative. Constructive." I try to cheer him up. I'm staring at my pigeon-toed feet, which I hate like I hate the rest of me at this moment for running away like that. "Well usually I eat when I'm depressed but it's too loud at Smokies. So I thought maybe I'd go to work, but Venice Noodle was too crowded and demanding. And Zephyr was too…too everything. So my last pitiful resort was here. I went here for Elementary." He's rambling. "I know, I was there. Do you ramble when you're nervous, too?" I can tell that's why he's doing it. "Uh, yeah. You noticed?" He's smiling. I love his smile. His smile makes me smile. Now we're both smiling like idiots. Two Cheshire cats.
"I really do like you, Kathryn. You-you're a really great person. You're pretty, smart… really talented. I've seen your art, mostly what's in Mr. Whitman's studio. And what Skip stole – er, borrowed from Sid, those sketches are great. I didn't know you had enough patience to sit there and sketch me skating, what with me moving around and messing up so much. And Tony's hair, if you can call it that, I didn't think anyone could draw that mess. Plus you got Jay's angry expressions like it was drawing a flower or something. You're amazing." That's really what he thinks? "No Stacy, I'm not what you want. I'm a stupid, pregnant, ugly sixteen year old with no sense not to get knocked up at a party whose mother abandoned her and whose father beats her. I'm not what you need. I'll just get in your way and ruin your life and you'll end up hating me forever. I'm completely worthless." Tears are welling up in my eyes and this time there's nothing I can do to stop them. "Baby, you know that's not true. You're not stupid, you're beautiful, and you have more common sense than a hoarde of brainiacs. I could never hate you. You are worth more than anything anyone could offer me. I need you, I want you, and I'm willing to do all I can to support you. I love you. Why didn't you tell me you were having a baby?" Wow, I never knew that. And I don't know why I didn't just tell him in the first place. I'm looking at his hair. Now that I think about it, I look like a guy more than most of the guys do. Not all of them, but most of 'em. My hair's black and only about cheek length, maybe with a few choppy pieces to my chin. But now I'm just going on and on, so back to our current situation…
"Umm… I love you too, but you don't have to say all that. The baby might not even make it anyway. I've been sick, and the doctor doesn't know if it'll be affected. I'm not even sure I want it. I couldn't take care of it without my father and he's already gonna kill me when he finds out about it and then where'll we be? But you probably don't care about that, my problems or my shit life." I don't know why I told him all that crap. I'm swinging a bit now, and I feel torn. This baby is not what I planned when I went to that Zephyr party. He stops the swing and kneels in front of me, lifting my dry but substantially tear-stained face to look at him. "Kitty, I really do care. None of that business with your dad or the baby matters to me. If you have it, I'll still love you. If it doesn't make it, I'll still love you. And if your father hurts his only daughter, I'll call the cops on him. But I'll still love you. No matter what happens. I'm never gonna let you go." Oh god, our faces are so close, and I'm closing my stormy gray eyes so full of trouble, seen so much, and we're kissing again. The sky is clouding and now the rain is falling on us but we're not paying attention. Our kiss deepens and my hands are shaking, one tangled in blonde, the other intertwined with his to steady it. There's a curtain of blonde and black around our faces and his free hand is resting on my stomach, but it's not uncomfortable, it makes me feel so safe. We're soaked to the sky by the rain pouring down from the sky and there's a soft breeze blowing the old willow tree leaves around, limbs swaying behind us to the beat of the raindrops. My eyes open and glace out of the corner to see lightning split the sky in the distance followed by a crash of roaring thunder, causing me to jump as we break apart and run for Jay's apartment 'cause it's close and he won't give a damn if we visit.
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(A/N: I know it's short but they'll get longer I promise... I hope... runs from hoarde of people wielding sporks)
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