"Uhh, Alice…you DO know the mall is closed at THREE IN THE MORNING!?" I've been trying to reason with her for almost half an hour, so far nothing's gotten through.
"Well, then, we'll break in and steal the clothes! All for us! HAHAHAHA!!" she laughs manically, with a crazy glint in her eyes.
We're in her yellow Porsche, driving to the mall, and I'm still in my tee and shorts I wore to bed last…well this night. Unsurprisingly, we're the only ones on the road, not everyone has screwball shopping-obsessed vampires waking her up in the middle of the night. Of course, Alice takes the lack of traffic as an invitation to break the speed limit tree times over. I watch resignedly as the needle on the speedometer inches past 120.
"HOLY CRAP, ALICE!! WATCH OUT FOR THAT MILK TRUCK!!"
The truck swerves past us. Unfortunately, it swerves off a cliff, crashes down the side, and explodes in a dance of fiery lights.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU JUST DID!?"
"CAN'T TALK! MUST GET TO MALL!!"
Great, we're there. It can't possibly get any worse…