During times of hardship it was a hobby of mine to daydream of better days. Of little things I missed that at one point in my life I had completely taken for granted. Things like sitting on the couch watching TV on Saturday mornings with my little brother, or helping my mom make a new years cake.
I thought of the good ole days where my friends and I laughed over boys, even if it always ended with them telling me my taste in men sucked. All those bittersweet memories left so many what ifs.
Was Sota still watching anime on Saturday mornings? Did mom still make new years cake? Did my friends still giggle like teenagers? Or were they now married? Did they think about me?
Suddenly all those little things that I worried about seemed so small as I watched the only home I had left burn to the ground. Was there anyone left? Looking at the group of women and children Sesshomaru had rounded up, I wasn't feeling very hopeful.
There had been a few men in the healing hut when we had left, but it seemed they had not made it, instead choosing to die honorably to allow the women and children a better chance to escape.
Wives, mothers, sisters, daughters and sons could only stare in shock of what was left of their homes, their entire life going up in smoke. What could I do for these people? Was rebuilding the village even an option?
Many times during our hunt for Naraku we would come along a village in a similar situation. It never ended well. Women and children were left exposed to the evils of the world, the greed of men, the hunger of demons.
I hugged myself tightly, partly to cover my exposed body from the world, but also to try to hold in my screams of frustration. I could see all the women looking my way, my divine prestige of being a priestess suddenly taking on a whole new burden.
Couldn't they see I was just as lost as they were in this situation? I resisted the urge to look at Sesshomaru who was currently talking with Rin.
A sudden cry from one of the children brought me out of my desperate thoughts. As if drawn to the sound, I found myself in front of Fuuko, the seven year old child of the village blacksmith. Her hair shined the color of glossy wood. She was usually such a happy child, all cute dimples and mischievous eyes.
Looking at her now, feet bloody from running in the woods barefoot, scratches on her knees and sticks in her hair, you'd think I was looking at a creature of the forest. Her parents were no where in sight.
Orphan. Helpless. As I looked around, no one claimed her. No kind words or tenderness. She was ostracized without a second thought. Just another mouth to feed in a hopeless situation. I could feel the frown stretching across my face.
She had done nothing to deserve this. Had not asked for this fate. As my arms wrapped around her small shaking body I could feel resolve burn back into my body. I was needed. She needed me. THEY needed me. I couldn't fix this situation, couldn't make it go away, but I would find a way to make it bearable, if only a little.
Starting with this child's feet.
I shrugged out of my ripped haori, the front so torn it wasn't covering me anyways. I could feel everyones eyes on me, the gasps of the impropriety. I ripped it into strips of cloth, ignoring them, the chill, the knowledge that I had stopped wearing a bra years ago.
Instead I focused on Fuuko's tiny feet, gently wrapping them as best as I could. I used the rest to dry her tears. She only seemed to cry harder, her short arms wrapping around my neck as she buried her face into my hair to muffle her wails.
I tried to blink back the tears in my eyes, to hold back the urge to sob. My rock was gone. The person I could turn to when everything was bleak wasn't here. He was off being a hero somewhere else, for someone else.
Warm cloth wrapped around my shoulders, causing me to almost jump from the change in temperature.
Whipping my head upwards, I had to squint to see in the darkness. The moon was kind however, its radiant light glowing gently over long silver tresses, caressing sharp cheek bones, highlighting silver lashes that incased those bright golden eyes.
I could only stare at Sesshomaru, trying to process that in fact it was his haori wrapped around my shoulders. That he was standing there in only his white undershirt, completely confident in his decision to gift a priestess with the cloth off his own back.
Someone smack me, I must be dreaming.
He said nothing, already turning away from me, that long hair whipping in the air as he walked away.
I nibbled on my lip, unsure what to do. Sesshomaru is a Lord right. Was it possible he could find a village for all these women and children? Could I ask him? Would they even follow if he said yes? Would I be biting off more than I could chew with our tentative friendship?
Any tea I could barter him with was probably long gone, and somehow I doubted 3 teabags would earn passage for over 20 women and children. The next village was a day or so walk from here, through Inuyasha's forest.
I was confident I would have no problem protecting myself through it, but could I protect a large group of defenseless women and children. Looking at Sango who I finally noticed was approaching the group, all three remaining children accounted for, I knew even with the two of us and her brood, we wouldn't be able to save everyone.
There was also the fact that the next village might not accept new refugees, definitely not this large amount. Or possibly the next. Or the one after.
Women weren't exactly worth much in this era. We were raised to be uneducated, to look pretty and warm the bed of our partner and raise children and work in the fields. Children were worth even less.
Shivering from the less than comforting future, I grabbed the haori and wrapped it tightly around us, making sure Fuuko was securely covered. Sniffing gently, I could help indulge myself for a quick moment in Sesshomaru's scent.
It carried the scent of spicy cardamom and musky vanilla, a strangely masculine scent that made the hairs on the back of my neck raise. Inuyasha had always smelled like sunlight and pine. Sesshomaru's scent had a darker tone to it, almost…sexy.
I must be going into shock. I DID NOT just think that.
Disgusted in my train of thoughts, I shook my head as if to physically shake them off. This was not the time for such perversions. Obviously there were more important things to think about! Like… where we were going to sleep tonight.
Fuuko was slowly becoming more relaxed, her breathing evening out. Quietly, I put my arms one at a time into the long billowy sleeves of my borrowed haori, to help it slightly stay on my body before tucking her small body back in my arms and standing up.
Taking a deep breath, I walked over to Sango, ignoring her pointed stare at my choice of wardrobe.
"What do you think we should do," I whispered to her, trying not to be heard by the children, knowing that they were probably eavesdropping on every word. Knowing Sango, she probably taught them to read lips.
"I'm as lost as you are. The soldiers could still be in the village. If we go back, we risk putting the women and children in danger. If we stay here, we risk getting eaten. If we leave, we risk both or worse."
"Sooooo whats the plan," I joked, trying to make light of the situation but failing miserably. Sango just continued staring forward before slowly turning to me, eyeing me up and down dramatically before raising her eyebrow.
"A little birdie told me I have a friend who has a friend in high places. Mayhap she could request a slight favor from a certain demon lord?" Inhaling sharply, my eyes instantly sought him across the clearing, wondering if he had heard Sango's candor.
I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks, suddenly feeling 15 and awkward all over again.
Asking Sesshomaru for anything was like asking to be bitten. With poison. Slobbery poison.
I sent a pleading look at Sango, begging her to come up with some more options. Perhaps I could ask Rin to ask Sesshomaru? He favored her. She wouldn't leave her village destitute right? Surely she would be more convincing than I…right?
The thought of walking up to him and begging him to save a group of human women and children seemed like absolute suicide. Sure he gave (lent?) his haori to me which must have meant something (perhaps he couldn't stand the sight of naked human women?) or maybe he thought he was helping Inuyasha's woman in a tight spot?
After all, it would be unseemly to be related to a brother whose past lover (did I even qualify as that?!) was walking around half naked.
There was one thing that I knew about Sesshomaru though. He never did anything for free. Everything he did for someone required a payment of equal or greater value. I had nothing to give, nothing to offer. Just a nameless priestess lost in the sands of time.
The only thing I had going for me was watching Rin for him, which he repaid with priceless herbs that had helped the villagers survive the harsh winters. But being stubborn and not asking would get us no where.
The best thing to do would first be to assess the village. Perhaps it was not as bad as we all expected. Perhaps a handful of men had survived. Some of the crops had yet to be harvested. We could survive if we rationed appropriately.
Biting down the trepidation I felt, I whispered my thoughts to Sango, who reluctantly agreed. We couldn't write off our village just yet. Perhaps it was just foolish hope, but I needed to know.
Sango turned to Kaito and her twins, instructing them to stay here until she returned. Surprisingly, there were no protests or clinginess. She had raised warriors who had the faces of children. Quietly, I helped Fuuko onto Saya's back, knowing she was in good hands, but still feeling guilty for leaving her.
What if she woke up and thought I abandoned her? I tried not to think about it. Children were not meant to be brought onto the battlefield. How many times had I foolishly brought Shippo into a dangerous situation? That boy had more lucky stars than I could count.
I had lost my bow and arrows when I had been assaulted by that soldier. The thought of possibly finding them didn't seem too promising. It was too dark, even with the light of the moon, to have any hope in finding it. My best bet would be to procure some in the village.
Hesitantly, I wrapped Sesshomaru's haori tighter around me. I should probably try to find some form of clothes if I could. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that the cloth I currently wore costed a fortune. Somehow I doubt he would be pleased with my human scent on it.
Cautiously we walked over to Rin, her demon lord still in deep conversation with her. As gently as I could I intruded on them to inform them of our intentions.
"Lord Sesshomaru, I'm sorry to interrupt. I know you probably want to get going with Rin soon, but could I possibly trouble you for a moment," I asked, still feeling uncomfortable of asking him of anything. I couldn't help but wonder what even this small favor would cost me.
I only received a raised eyebrow. No annoyance showed on his face, not that I was surprised. He always had a dislike of showing what exactly he was feeling. That particular look had caused far too many misunderstandings in the past.
"Sango and I want to go scout the village to see what kind of damage we are looking at. I know this isn't your problem, and I don't really want to bother you, but would you mind just watching over the women for a short time until we come back?" I kept my eyes on the ground, my body in a slight bow, my hands clasped together at the waist.
Nausea flared through me as silence filled the forest. I knew asking him would be stupid. He did nothing for free. Our friendship had always been more of a truce. Asking for more felt….wrong.
"This Sesshomaru will do no such thing," I flinched but nodded, not willing to fight something that I had already expected him to say.
"You will stay here. I will assess the village and be back shortly." Without thinking, my eyes jumped to his face, my mouth opened to protest. He looked pissed. As if I just insulted him. My teeth clicked shut. I barely heard Sango and Rin whisper their thanks, only staring at him as he disappeared into the darkness of the forest.
"Well that…was unexpected," I muttered, unsure what exactly had just happened. Rin just shook her head and smiled, looking unsurprised.
"Did you really think Lord Sesshomaru was going to let you go back to the village you just ran away from looking like that? Rin doesn't blame him for being upset." I could feel my cheeks burn as I nervously pinched the fabric covering me. Rin had a point. Sesshomaru had never been anything less than honorable. I guess I should learn to give him a little bit more credit.
Looking around, I noticed a lot of women and children huddling in small groups, their expressions scared and unsure of what to do. They needed direction, we all did. Deciding that keeping them in the dark was the furthest thing that we needed at the moment, I nervously cleared my throat.
"Lord Sesshomaru has kindly offered to go check out the status of the village for us. Depending on the damage, there is a large possibility we may have to leave.
Instantly protests were made, children started crying, and angry whispers filtered through the air.
"Silence! Do not forget we are in Inuyasha's forest! Sesshomaru's presence has kept the demon's at bay but he is not here right now. Do not draw their attention unless you plan to be dinner."
Could always trust Sango to know exactly what to say.
That was all the women needed to hear to instantly start shushing their children and themselves. The night was quiet once more.
"I know this isn't what anyone wants to hear, but we all saw what had happened tonight. The soldiers could easily turn around and come back, and what would we do. Sango and I are trained in demon slaying, humans are a different story. We need to think about what is best for all of us." I said, already knowing exactly what they were thinking. After all, wasn't I just as doubtful of our future.
"Where would we go? We have no money, no food?" One woman spoke.
Another voice popped up, "Would Lord Sesshomaru provide us refuge? Could we not just go with him?"
The whispers started again, though this time much more tame with a hint of thoughtfulness.
"I don't know," Was all I said. Yup, class A leader right here. Desperately I missed Miroku at that moment. He always knew exactly how to calm a woman in distress, particularly in large numbers.
War officially sucked.
It felt like hours before Sesshomaru returned, his pace slow, elegant, not a worry in the world. It was at times like these it literally set a fire in my belly. And not the good kind. I took a deep calming breath, trying to ease my troubled thoughts.
He's being helpful. He did you a favor, possibly for free. He can take all the damn time he needs.
Would it kill him to just be a little quicker about it?
He didn't stop as he approached me, just kept walking, his typical poker face firmly in place. Whatever he had seen, he would not be discussing it directly to me. Instead he silently stopped in the center of the clearing, all whispers instantly quieted as we all stared at him, waiting for his verdict.
"There were no survivors. The crops are gone. Most of the houses have been burned or completely destroyed. Animals were slaughtered or taken. There was also a potent smell of poison in the well. This area will not be safe to live at least for another five summers. That is all."
Just like that he walked away, relieving himself of the information he had gathered, but not really caring about the affect it would cause. I wasn't sure whether to thank him or kick him in the shin. His "news" hadn't exactly been good, basically it just left the question, what do we do now?
Looking at Sango, the dark shadow of worry on her face, I was at a loss of what to do. Instantly women were wailing, some looked completely lost, others malevolent and angry. I honestly felt like a combination of all three.
"Lord Sesshomaru, is there anything we can do?" Rin asked, her eyes looking at him beseechingly. I had never felt so grateful to anyone in my whole life. Finally, someone had asked the question that had been trying to dig a hole through my cheek.
Sesshomaru glanced at her, before looking back at me, a silver eyebrow daintily lifted upward as if the idea hadn't even occurred to him. Ugh, I could just… happy thoughts Kagome. Happy, calm thoughts.
"This Sesshomaru owes this village nothing." He simply stated. I'm certain he would have shrugged if the motion wasn't beneath him.
Rin simply rolled her eyes at his answer, probably already knowing exactly what he would say.
"What if they could owe you something. I'm certain they would be more than willing to pay a debt if it meant they could live in the west safely." Sango asked, easily taking over the conversation. She had three mouths to feed and a husband at war, she'd be damned if someone didn't ask the right questions.
"These women have nothing to offer…" for a moment he stopped and his eyes met mine, "me."
Sango sighed in frustration, deep in thought of what skills the lot of us had combined that might be of use to him. I could only stand there quietly, watching as his gaze took on an almost thoughtful look as they drifted up and down my person.
It was almost as if he was groping me with his eyes. The real thing at this point would have been preferable, if only to give me reason to actually smack him. What the hell was he thinking about, looking like that at a time like this anyways?
Looking down, I took notice that I had stopped holding his haori tightly closed, too engrossed in the conversation to give much thought to my current state of dress. Blushing, I instantly tightened the cloth around me, glaring at him under my bangs at his indecency.
He could have just said something!
A slight smirk crossed his face, his eyes taking on that amused glint he would get sometimes when we discussed Rin's adventures over a warm cup of tea. It was a look that usually had me giddy and desperately coming up with more to talk about, if only to keep it directed on me.
Right now all I wanted to do was throw some ensorcelled rosary around his neck and sit him to the other side of the planet.
"There is something this Sesshomaru would accept as a…down payment, so to speak." Rin and Sango instantly turned to him, their eyes wide at the thought that they had something that could be considered of value." I could feel my stomach twist nervously, already feeling nauseas as his gaze never left mine.
"What would that be?" Sango asked slowly, her eyes flickering from the demon lord's face before quickly looking back at mine. She had always been quick to read between the lines.
What had started off as a small smirk was slowly becoming wider, a fang protruding in a way that was almost fearsome. It reminded me of Inuyasha, when he would come up with some well thought up plot to insure maximum pain to whoever was on the receiving end of it.
Why did I get the sneaking suspicion I was a lamb who had just walked into the jowls of the wolf?
"This Sesshomaru has…a great many needs that have recently been a bother as of late. Your priestess would be … very helpful in…assisting them."
What did he say? Did he seriously say what I thought he just said. Certainly I misheard. Or misinterpreted. When he says needs …what the HELL does that even mean?
"EXCUSE ME?!" I screeched, my priestess powers flaring to life along with my temper.
Sango was on me in a heartbeat, already grabbing my arm and dragging me off before I showed this dog exactly what I thought about his bone, and I sure as hell wasn't talking about the proverbial one!
"Kagome, calm down." Sango whispered, stopping when there was a fair amount of distance between us and him.
"Sango, what do you mean calm down. You should be as insulted as I am. He just asked me to…to fulfill his needs as a freaking down payment. Not even as the actual loan. We haven't even started on interest! WHY THE HELL AM I THE ONLY ONE UPSET!" I yelled, officially freaking out.
Sango only yanked on my arm, not hard enough to hurt, but definitely enough to catch my attention. Motherhood apparently made her impatient, even with her best friend.
"I don't like it anymore than you do Kagome, but what else are we supposed to do? These women will die if we don't do something. If you don't want to do it, we can think of something else. You know if it were just the two of us, I would have us hop on Kirara and we would just go somewhere else, but right now that just isn't the case."
A part of me wanted to scream at her. Did she not understand how completely unfair this was? Putting aside the possibility of sex, he hadn't exactly put a label on it. He was being vague at best. Sesshomaru was incredibly clever, he could make me his slave if he worded it right.
In the end, what else could we do? The women here were widowed farmers, some still young enough to be Rin's age. They weren't exactly high on the prospects list. Sango, though beautiful, was already married with currently 3 kids.
I on the other hand, am a 25 year old virgin priestess. A flavor that still seemed high on the food chain where demons were considered. A part of me was a little put out by that. I had always thought Sesshomaru was different. That over the years, he had come to consider me a close ally if not a friend.
So where the hell was this even coming from? Would he seriously throw away the last 8 years of companionship for some shallow sex? Didn't that put me on the same level as a common whore?
Gone were the days of skimpy school girl outfits and accidental fan service. I wasn't a spry teenager anymore either. Any day now I'd be developing gray hairs and wrinkles.
"Would it really be that bad," Sango muttered. I could only stare at her. She had been my closest confident over the years since losing access to my own world. How many times had she asked me why I wasn't married. How many times had I told her humans weren't exactly my thing.
Wasn't this the perfect opportunity I'd been hoping for? Inuyasha wasn't exactly here to interfere. He would practically mark his territory whenever Sesshomaru or other demon friends we had acquired over the years dropped by the village for a friendly hello.
No, the thought of a more…intimate relationship wasn't exactly scary. If anything, the amount he considered my body was worth was far more mortifying. Down payment my ass.
Coming to a decision, I squared my shoulders and without a word walked back to Sesshomaru who was apparently getting a sound ass chewing from Rin. He didn't seem to be listening to word of it.
"Lord Sesshomaru, I would like to discuss your…offer… in more detail." I interrupted, proudly tilting my chin at him, practically setting him on fire with my eyes.
"Rin, I will return shortly," was all he said before walking away, his gaze barely acknowledging me before walking out of the clearing. He didn't need to turn his head or listen to my footsteps to know I would follow after him.
After all, I had one hell of a bone to pick with him.