A/N: Thank you, for taking the time to read the first chapter and writing reviews. Means a lot to me. Again sorry for the mistakes.
Chapter 2: Songs I can't listen to
Emily's POV
I just came out of the store I had to pay for gas and I grabbed coffee and donuts. I get into my car and before I can turn on my car, I head someone called out my name. I get out of the car and its Ralph, Paige's best friend from college. We hug each other and can't stop smiling.
''Holy shit, it's been forever since we saw each other,'' Ralph said.
Ralph is six feet tall, deep voice and people meeting him at first are scared but he is like a big teddy bear.
''I know and oh my god, you got buffed now. How life has been treating you?'' I said.
''Thanks, I work out a lot now. Actually, I was on my way to Philly but I had to stop for gas, I am married now and I have five kids now. What you been up to?'' Ralph said.
''I am so happy for you. Well, I work as a fitness instructor at a nursing home and I'm single. I have just been busy focusing on my life and other stuff. Have you been in touch with Paige? I lost touch with her a long time.'' I said.
''I lost touch with her too. Since what you did she left New York and started to shut everyone out even me. Last time I heard she went to Texas, but I don't know where she is now and her old phone number and email she doesn't reply back or call anyone.'' Ralph said.
''Oh. I tried to explain to Paige why I did but she wouldn't listen to me and you know how stubborn she gets. I'm not blaming her but she didn't give me a chance to fix anything.'' I said.
''I know. I was angry at you for hurting her but I moved on. What happened between you and her, is not my business. I just hope she is doing well. I even tried looking for her on Facebook but she has an old account that she logged in about two years now.'' Ralph said.
''I tried Facebook too. I just miss her so much.'' I said.
''Me too. I have to go, here is my phone number call me whenever and if you see Paige tell her to call me.'' Ralph said and he gave me his business card.
''Of course,'' I said and we hug one last time before we leave.
Flashback-
Year: 2012
Ralph and Paige come out of the library they were studying and they needed a break. They walk across campus and they see Emily, talking to three people. Ralph and Paige walked towards Emily, and Emily isn't happy to see them. Wish she had time to explain to Paige what is going on.
''Mom and dad, this is Paige and Ralph and they are my friends,'' Emily said.
Emily tried to avoid eye contact with them.
''Hello, my name is Pam and this is my husband Wayne. Emily's boyfriend Ben, he was going to take us out to eat maybe you two can join us.'' Pam said.
Paige's heart broke into million pieces. She knew that Emily isn't out of the closet but she didn't know that Emily had a boyfriend or whatever he is. Emily didn't look at Paige.
''Maybe, next time we have to finish studying for our exam tomorrow,'' Ralph said.
''Yeah, maybe next time,'' Paige said and she looked at Emily.
''Maybe next time but good luck on your exam,'' Wayne said.
''Thank you. Ralph, let's go we have a lot to talk about.'' Paige said.
''Bye, nice meeting you,'' Ralph said.
Emily watched Paige and Ralph walk away. Paige looked back and she saw Ben give a peck to Emily.
After Emily had dinner with her parents and Ben, she went to Paige's apartment. Paige and Ralph were in the living room and Emily can see that Paige is hurt.
''Can we talk alone?'' Emily asked.
''Whatever you have to say just say it now,'' Paige said angrily.
''I had to lie to my parents about having a boyfriend. I'm not ready to come out yet.'' Emily said.
''I know that! But you didn't have to get a boyfriend! Since we started dating you never told me you had a backup boyfriend whenever your parents came to visit.'' Paige said.
''His name is Ben, I met him in my English class we were friends first then we started to date. I did break up with him a long time ago, when my parents came over then he tried to win me back by impressing my parents. My parents, they like him a lot….'' Emily tried to finish her sentence.
'' You just could have said you are single or something else but having a boyfriend and dating me at the same time, is cheating! I don't have a backup girlfriend or anyone when we don't see each other. I feel like the mistress, you can kiss your boyfriend in public but with me, it has to be a secret. I know you are scared to come out of the closet but I never once pressured you to come out, because it's your choice.'' Paige said and she tried not to cry.
''I'm so sorry Paige that I hurt you. I swear, my feelings for you are true and I loved every moment we spent together. Please, let me make this up to you.'' Emily said.
Paige couldn't hold back her tears and she started to cry.
''You broke my heart,'' Paige said.
Emily tried to get close but Paige just kept moving away.
''Paige, please.'' Emily plead.
''Just leave me alone because it's over,'' Paige said.
''Paige, we can work this out just let me fix this please, I beg you,'' Emily said and she started to cry.
''It's over please leave and I don't want to ruin your relationship with Ben,'' Paige said.
''Emily, leave Paige needs space for now,'' Ralph said.
''Paige, I do mean it I am sorry for hurting you. But I had to lie to my parents because I thought it was a good idea to say I have a boyfriend, I was trying to make my parents happy. I'm sorry.'' Emily said and she left the apartment.
Flashback ends.
I arrive at work and I couldn't stop thinking about the break up with Paige. Since that night, she just left and I haven't heard from her. I grab a cupcake and I take it to Valerie's room and she is always up early, I just place the cupcake on her table. She looks at me then looks away, I go to work and I will come later to check up on her. I start to remember when Paige told me when she first came out and how her father stood up for her.
Flashback-
Year: 2011, summer
It's the hottest day in New York, Emily and Paige didn't want to leave the apartment. For many reasons, Emily's old air conditioner broke and she bought a new one. But Emily didn't know how to set up the air conditioner usually her father will do it. Paige did know how to stall in an air conditioner because her father taught how to do it. In the apartment feels like it's ninety degrees or higher, Emily is wearing a blue bikini top and shorts and Paige has on a black bikini and blue shorts.
''I would kiss you but it's too hot,'' Emily whined.
''Me too. But it's too hot even to cuddle.'' Paige said.
''Can I ask you something?'' Emily said.
Paige started to add the weather strip on the window. It will help block any air that may pass through tiny cracks.
''Go ahead,'' Paige said.
''Do your parents know that you like girls?'' Emily asked.
''Yes, they know and they are okay with it,'' Paige said.
''I haven't come out of the closet. Back home, everyone thinks I'm straight and I go along with it. I'm scared to come out. Here, I can be out of the closet.'' Emily said.
''I understand. It's like with some people you are okay that they know you are gay but with others, you have to lie. Right?'' Paige said.
''Yes. How did you come out of the closet?'' Emily said.
Then Paige started to add the side panels on the air conditioner.
''It's a long story,'' Paige said.
''We have time,'' Emily said and Paige nods.
''Actually, my parents already knew before I came out to them. I was in the tenth grade, it was Thanksgiving dinner and I decided to tell everyone. My heart was pounding fast and I was very nervous. I just shouted that I am gay. Everyone became silent and I felt my face turn red and my heart was pounding faster. And my dad said I knew it and David you owe me twenty dollars. I was so confused I asked what is going on. Turns out, everyone already knew that I am gay, they made a bet when I was coming to come out of the closet. I thought my parents were going to yell at me because my father is a priest and my mom worked with him in the church. Fast forward little bit, Thanksgiving break is over and I go to school and I told my close friends at the time that I'm gay, they didn't accept me. They called me names and so on. So throughout the school, I was being called names and outside even adults told me I was going to hell and talk about the bible of how it is wrong to be gay and so much more. Even a lady from the church called me a slut and told me to stay away from her daughter. It spread like wildfire that everyone knew that I am gay. I grew up in a small town in Texas, and the closest city was only four hours away. I never met a gay person from the town I grew up in and I found out why.'' Paige said.
''What happened after that? I can't believe that she called you a slut just for being gay.'' Emily said.
''I have been called worse. I go home and my parents found me crying and I told them what happened. My father told me about my uncle Bryant, I never met him because he died before I was born. Well, he told me, that his brother Bryant was gay and he came out of the closet but in the family no one accepted him. And my grandparents kicked him out and told him never to come back, my dad stopped talking to him and they were close. Years pass by and my uncle moved to the city and he worked as a gay prostitute not sure for how long. Well, he was killed by one of his clients and reason why I don't know. When my dad found out, he broke down crying and he kept blaming himself for his brother's death. Even my grandparents blamed their selves for his death. Okay, now help me put the air conditioner on the window.'' Paige said.
On the count of three, they picked up the air conditioner and placed it on the window. Then Paige started to install the brackets.
''What else happened,'' Emily said.
''My dad made a promise to himself and to his brother that if his daughter or son, is gay that he will never disown his own child no matter what. He didn't want the same thing what happened to my uncle happened to me. So it's Sunday and we are in church and everyone is there even the people that called me names. So, my father started to preach then said that he accept of me being gay and he will never stop loving me. And he said in his church that he accepts anyone that is gay, straight, lesbian and transgender people. People weren't happy about it, then my father started to call out the sinners meaning, he started name people that were cheating on their spouses, gambling and so much more. He said 'anyone that disrespect my daughter will answer to me. You all have no right to judge anyone by his or her sexuality. Don't preach about the bible while you are committing sins, you are no better than the person next to you is having an affair or the person who gambled away his family's house and money away'. So many people left the church but a week later people that were gay actually came to church and my dad made them feel welcome.'' Paige said.
''Your dad sounds like a great guy,'' Emily said.
''He is. I visit my parents when I have the chance. Hey, I'm going to Texas, next weekend do you want to come with me? I know we haven't been dating long for me introduce to my parents, thought it would be a good idea to get out of New York for a little bit.'' Paige said.
''I will love to go with you,'' Emily said and Paige has a big smile on her face.
''Awesome,'' Paige said smiling then turned on the air conditioner.
''Finally,'' Emily said and they lay on the bed together.
Flashback ends.
Paige's POV
I'm waiting for Hanna at the mall because we need to finish our Christmas shopping. Since the kids are in school and Spencer is with Jeremy at the doctor's appointment, gives me time to buy the gifts. I'm sitting on the bench and I see a poster of Pac Man, I remember Emily used to love playing the old game. We did celebrate our first Christmas together when we were in college before I moved away, good times.
Flashback-
Year: 2011, Christmas party.
Paige and Emily went to a Christmas party of one their friends threw a party. Paige's friends really like Emily and they see that she makes Paige happy. They arrived at the party and they greet their friends, everyone is having a good time and the table is filled with food and drinks.
''I never had a kiss under the mistletoe,'' Emily said.
''Me too. I never had a valentine.'' Paige said.
''Me either. Maybe tonight it can be our first kiss under the mistletoe.'' Emily said with a small smile.
Someone said look up and they did. Paige pulled Emily into a kiss and they break from the kiss and they blush.
''Oh I got you a gift,'' Emily said.
''Me too. I couldn't wait for Christmas day. So I will give it to you now.'' Paige said.
Emily gave the gift to Paige, she starts to open it up. Emily gave Paige, Christmas socks of Santa clause and tickets to see her favorite band yeah yeah yeahs. Paige didn't say anything she just hugged Emily and kissed her.
''I love it, thank you,'' Paige said and they break from the hug.
Now Emily is opening Paige's gift. Emily became speechless and tears started to form and Paige looks confused.
''Don't like it?'' Paige asked.
''I thought you weren't paying attention when I told you because you started to doze off,'' Emily said.
It took a while for Paige to find every Pac man figurines from 1983.
''I remember, that your dad gave the Pac man figurines set for your birthday. Then one of your cousins stole it from you and you never got the toys back. It took me a while to get it and I thought you would be happy to…''
Emily didn't let Paige finish the sentence she just kissed Paige on the lips.
''I love it. Thank you.'' Emily said.
''I'm really happy you like it,'' Paige said and smiled at Emily.
Flashback ends-
''Paige, are you ready or what?'' I look and it's Hanna.
''Sorry, was lost in memory lane,'' I said.
I get up and we walk towards the toy store because I need to buy toys for Dominique, Jeremy, and Kenzie. I met Hanna through Spencer at first Hanna didn't like me when time went by we started to get along.
''How did the date go last night?'' I asked.
''Boring and I won't be seeing him again. I thought we had something but I was wrong, oh well. Any plans for Christmas? I was thinking why not throw a party.'' Hanna said.
We walk around the toy store and she is helping me what toys to pick.
''I think that would be a good idea. Our parents are coming over to visit until January, so a party will be a good idea. I will text Spencer to see if she likes the idea.'' I said.
Me: Hanna, thinks it will be a cool idea to throw an x-mas party. I agree, what about you?
Spencer: We can throw a party it will be fun.
''Spencer likes the idea,'' I said.
''Great. Now we have to buy party decorations and liquor.'' Hanna said with a smile.
''Don't forget about food and sweets too,'' I said.
I pay for the toys and couple days ago I did buy gifts for Hanna and Spencer. Then we went to party city store and started to look around of which kind of party decorations to pick.
''How does it feel living with Spencer and her kids?'' Hanna said.
''It's not that bad. Yeah, they always wake up early then wake me up. Everything is going fine and I don't mind helping out when Spencer is busy with something. Now Kenzie wants to join the girls' hockey team and Spencer signed her up for it.'' I said.
''What happened that made you move in with Spencer?'' Hanna said.
''My landlord raised the rent and I couldn't afford it. Spencer, though it would be a good to ask me to move in until I save up enough to have my own place. I do help Spencer pay the bills.'' I said.
We picked out some party decorations, we pay for it and we leave the store. We leave the mall and we go pick up Dominique and Kenzie from school then we will get take-food for dinner. Dominique is six years old and Kenzie is nine years old.
''How was school?'' I asked.
''I passed my spelling test and I got a cupcake from Mrs. Thomas,'' Kenzie said.
''That's great. What about you, Dominique?'' I said.
''I made a friend and her name is Ariel. And she gave me this.'' Dominique hand me a birthday invention card and I read it.
''Do you want to go?'' I asked.
''Yes.'' Dominique said with a smile.
I give her the card back and I start to drive to a Chinese restaurant to order take-out. I drive home and the girls tell me what they learned in school. I drop Hanna at her place because she has gone to work soon, then I go home.
We arrive home and I put the food on the table and Spencer and Jeremy are here. I set up the table.
''I was thinking about contacting Emily,'' I said.
''The ex-girlfriend?'' Spencer asked.
''Yeah, the one I used to date when I was in college. I have been thinking about it for a while.'' I said.
''Do you think she wants to see you? I'm not stopping you to see her. From what you told me, are you over of what she did?'' Spencer said.
''Yeah, I'm over it. I haven't seen her in years because I ignored her calls then I changed my phone number when I moved here to Vancouver.'' I said.
''If you want to do it go ahead. I just want you to be happy.'' Spencer said.
Spencer kissed me and I kissed her back.
''Let's eat,'' I said and she smiles at me.