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Ch.2- "Your Best Friend"
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Nerr had ignored the soldiers moving further east for as long as she could, sitting on the river bank and watching the water flow from the mountains. There were tiny fish in the quick moving water, little silvery reflections zipping beneath the surface. She had never seen living fish before today. The river probably led to another lake, or perhaps even the ocean. How long would it take her, she wondered, if she got to her feet and began following the winding stream, until she came upon the sea? That had always been one of her many dreams, to see the ocean... The Hoshidan army was gone. They had pressing matters to deal with- their wounded, their destroyed capital, the war nipping at their heels... She could just start walking and no one would even realize it. By the time Ryouma noticed she was not there, she might have even put enough distance between them to keep him from finding her. Ever. She was a very good runner, after all.
But... As she looked around the deserted, blood splattered field, she realized that Jakob had apparently followed the Hoshidans, perhaps assuming she was somewhere amidst the crowd. If she left now, she would be leaving him alone, at their mercy. Her lips twisted with disgust- Hoshidans didn't have mercy. They would kill him for being Nohrian. Freedom was right there, laid out at her feet, but to abandon her retainer? The boy who'd grown up with her, endured weapons training with her... who she always roped into helping her bake cookies, and who stayed up with her at night when her nightmares were too much to bear? What kind of monster was she for even entertaining such a notion? Before she'd even realized what she was doing, Nerr had begun walking in the direction she'd seen the soldiers head in. She'd already lost Gunther because of her selfish ego; how could she live with herself if she lost Jakob, too? The Nohrian princess put on a burst of speed, every second giving her another opportunity to think about what the Hoshidans might do to a Nohrian if left to their own devices. She knew how Nohrians tortured people- anything their enemies did was probably ten times as bad.
000
By the time she had reached the massive, white walled structure she took to be Fort Jinya, the Hoshidan army had already gone inside, only a few stragglers remaining. Amidst them, she saw her blood relatives. She did not want to think of them as "siblings"- in her mind, brothers and sisters were people you grew up around, people you played with and laughed with and argued with, but then made up with. She had known these people for little over a week. Jakob was more her "sibling" than they were. Nerr tried to edge around them, to slip inside the fort to look for her retainer without anyone noticing her, but there was a sprawling maze of high-walled corridors that obscured the fort, and said corridors were very narrow. Takumi, who had been listening with a dark look on his face as his brother spoke, was the first to notice her, his eyes narrowing as his lip curled in disgust.
"Look who finally decided to join us. What took you so long, sister; had to tell the Nohrians where we were setting up camp?" A tiny little part of Nerr's heart crumbled at the sound of his bitter words. She'd, for all intents and purposes, turned her back on her family because of these people, and that still wasn't good enough for him? If he was really her brother, he was supposed to love her, not spit venom at her at every given moment... But that part of her soul, the part that wept because she was not accustomed to people hating her, was overshadowed by the rest of her. The part of her soul that wanted to walk over to the prince and punch his smarmy little face in until she gave him a reason to hate her. She had nothing to prove to these people. She was not going to try and placate them- it was their fault she was here in the first place. If they wanted to be suspicious of her, fine.
"Yes." She responded simply. "That's exactly what I was doing." The royal's retainers- at least, she assumed those were the people lingering nearby- all looked at her with varying degrees of affront, and Takumi himself seemed ready to physically jump on her, but Ryouma placed a hand on his shoulder, holding him back.
"That's enough, Takumi. And Nerrida, don't goad him on. There is no time for petty squabbling. In fact, you should not have taken so long joining us; every moment we waste is another moment the Nohrians can regroup."
"It's good you're here now, though." Hinoka seemed to be trying her best to counteract the princes' vexation, smiling at her in a manner one might smile at a dog they weren't sure was friendly. "We've been trying to plan how we're going to set up defenses to keep the Nohrians out. They're probably going to try and come over land- everyone knows Nohr's calvary is it's strong point, and they're gonna have a hard time getting all those horses on boats."
"Yes," Ryouma nodded, turning his attention back to his other siblings. "It would be best if we head closer to the Chasm and set up blockades there- stopping them before they have a chance to set foot in Hoshido would ensure they don't have a chance to lay waste to the countryside."
"The best thing we could do is push every bastard into the Chasm- they sure as hell can't bother us then." The way Takumi was glaring at her as he spoke the words made it clear he was already thinking about pushing one Nohrian into the Chasm. The joke was on him- she wouldn't even mind. The eldest prince looked back to Nerr, and she looked away out of spite.
"What do you think, Nerrida? You've clearly been trained as a Nohrian solider; are we correct in our assumptions?" He actually thought she would use what little tactical training she'd studied to help them? Such was to laugh. But Nerr did not laugh. The anger, and hatred, bubbling in her stomach made it feel like she'd never laugh again.
"I think I don't care. Do as you please." Hinoka stared at her, mouth agape in dismay.
"What? What are you talking about- we need your input on this!"
"Yeah. This is the one thing you're actually good for! What's the point of keeping you if you can't at least tell us how that filth thinks?" No longer concerned with sneaking past, the Nohrian princess pushed her way through the royals, heading deeper into the maze.
"Ask your brother; he's the one who wouldn't let me leave."
"Nerrida!" Ryouma had begun to rush after her, to drag her back or something else, she did not know, but at that moment, a familiar blur of blue and white appeared before her.
"Oh! Nerr, there you are. I've been looking for you." Azura looked up at Ryouma, her golden eyes silently assessing the situation. "I'm sorry, Ryouma, but I was hoping I could borrow Nerr. Her... retainer, is a healer, but he's refusing to do anything without orders from her."
"Then kill him!" Takumi spat, glaring daggers at the back of his sister's head. "We've already got one Nohrian we don't need, and that's one too many." The songstress leveled a dark look at him.
"...Sakura is running herself ragged trying to heal people; this Jakob said he'd help if Nerr told him to." She looked back up at her older brother, a pleading expression. Ryouma looked back and forth between the two girls, before sighing deeply.
"Yes. Fine. Take her inside. We've been planning amongst ourselves all this time; her absence won't change anything." Azura smiled slightly up at her brother, loosely taking Nerr's wrist and pulling her back the way she had came. The other princess let the blunette lead her for a few turns, before stopping and snatching her hand away.
"Were you listening to that conversation? Did you decide to step in and 'save me'?" The songstress stopped as well, and turned back to face Nerr. Her expression was cold.
"It doesn't matter. I meant what I said; your retainer isn't helping and says he won't without orders."
"Good. He's not supposed to; he's loyal to me, not the Hoshidans." Azura sighed deeply, combing her fingers through the long hair that hung in her face.
"Nerr, you don't seem to understand the precarious situation you're in-"
"Goodness, and here I thought I had simply come home to my loving family! Family reunions are always precarious, yes?"
"It wouldn't be if you weren't making it so. Everything you say and do is making people suspicious of you, Nerr. Hoshidans, especially those from noble houses like the royal retainers and soldiers, loathe Nohrians. Takumi's your brother and he already thinks this war is all your doing." Nerr shook her head slightly, barely able to absorb everything that was being said to her. Hoshidans were wicked, small minded simpletons; she already knew that.
"So what would you have me do, Azura? Denounce my family, my homeland, and help the Hoshidans destroy everything I love?"
"...why is it so difficult for you to just accept that this is your family, that this is where you belong? I don't understand..." The quiet lament in Azura's voice made her sick. And the worst thing was, it wasn't just Azura; that was probably the question her blood relatives had been asking since the day she arrived and tried to run away.
"I suppose for the same reason you can't accept that you don't belong here. Think what you will of Nohr and it's people. I've lived there longer than you- I know better. I don't want to stay for the same reason you don't want to leave; blood be damned, we know where our home is."
"But Nerr-"
"But nothing. I'm done discussing this with you." She began walking once more, trudging past the songstress. Behind her, she could hear Azura sigh, then trot to catch up with her.
"Many of the civilians that were wounded in the attack are here as well as the soldiers." The Hoshidan princess wisely decided to drop the subject. "Hopefully with our help, Sakura can treat them all. She's never had to deal with such horrific injuries before."
"With your help, you mean. None of these people would help injured Nohrians. 'Do unto others' and all that." She could feel Azura glaring at her, but it didn't bother her. Not really. It shouldn't bother her; after all, what did she care if one of the enemy didn't like her?
000
Much like the room Mikoto had brought her to inside the Castle Shirasagi after dealing with the Faceless, there were no beds in this makeshift hospital. The people lay on the floor on thin mats, some unconscious, some pressing blood-soaked rags to deep gashes, almost all moaning or groaning or sobbing in agony. One young man, close to Nerr's age, lay deathly still on the floor beside her, his leg ripped off just below the knee. She could see the split bone, gobbets of muscle still clinging to it as it oozed marrow onto the mat. A leather belt had been tied around the ragged edge of the wound, trying to stem the flow of blood, though it didn't seem to be working very well. A woman sitting by the door, middle aged with graying hair, shuddered with every breath. Her clothes were stained a dark rust color, and from the angle she was turned, as Nerr stepped further into the room, she could see that half of her face had been shredded, thick shards of stone still embedded in her flesh which was stripped away to reveal the glistening bone beneath in places. Viscous red slime oozed from her mangled eye socket, and she gave a low, ragged groan.
Beside her, Azura gagged slightly, raising a hand to cover her nose and mouth. Given that she was no fighter, she'd probably never bore witness to death and pain before this. Nerr had- she had killed people herself, possibly even these people's friends and family. She was by no means used to it, but it did not come as such a surprise. What did come as a surprise was the fact that there were very few soldiers here. Only a few of the bodies were wearing any sort of armor. These were the townspeople who'd been hurt because of her directly, innocents who had no right to be attacked in such a way. Suddenly, she felt just as she had the first time she'd killed a person, nausea and revulsion roiling inside her. She was so overwhelmed by the sight and stench of civilian blood that she hardly noticed Jakob approach her, as fast as he was able without disturbing any of the injured people.
"Lady Nerr! I was so worried about you. When I didn't find you, I thought perhaps the Hoshidans did something..." He trailed off. It seemed her retainer had held the same train of thought that she did concerning their age-old enemy. Another voice, this one higher and softer, called out as well.
"Azura nee-sama! Nerrida nee-sama!" Sakura had been standing over a boy of about eight, waving her staff over the gash in his arm as he sobbed, being rocked by a woman who was probably his mother. The wound slowly pulled itself together, the flesh and muscle sealing as the blood stopped oozing out. The older woman thanked her, relief clear amidst the lines of her face, and Sakura bowed slightly before turning and rushing over to her sisters. Despite the slight smile on her face, she was pale, and Nerr could see the tracks on her cheeks where tears had clearly been falling fast. "Th-thank you for c-coming! I, um... I-I hope I'm not being too pre-presumptuous, but, uh... i-it would be really great if you could, um... please ask Jakob-san to please... help?"
Tears were beginning to once again well up in the youngest princess's coral-colored eyes, and there was an obvious edge of panic in her voice. It sounded less like an entreaty to help the wounded, and more like a personal cry. In the back of Nerr's mind, she knew that helping the enemy went against everything she'd ever been taught. Father would be disgusted; even Xander would shake his head in disappointment, but... As she looked around the room, her heart hurt. It physically hurt her to hear these people cry out in anguish, the knowledge that it was because of her only rubbing proverbial salt in the wound. She nodded stiffly.
"Yes... of course. Um, Jakob, can you...?" She trailed off, not even sure how to word her request. Keep these people, our enemies, alive? Stop them from hurting, though they'd never do the same for us? Fortunately, her retainer knew her well enough that he could follow orders even when they weren't eloquently, or even explicitly, stated. The steward nodded briskly, pulling the long staff he used to heal her injuries from his belt.
"Absolutely, Lady Nerr. I'll see to it that every Hoshidan here is in tip top shape by day's end. They should be singing your praises; no other Nohrian royal would be so merciful to the enemy."
"What are you talking about, 'enemy'?" A young girl in pink robes approached the Nohrians, her wide eyes narrowed in confusion as she frowned. She looked about Sakura's age, and Nerr could see that her hands were very bloody- she held a mass of blood stained bandages in one. Jakob opened his mouth, judging by his appearance, to say nothing kind. The princess put her hand on his arm to distract him.
"Jakob? Healing, please." His indigo gaze lingered on the newcomer for a moment, but in the end, he beamed at his mistress.
"Of course, milady. Excuse me." As he set off to begin working on some of the more serious injuries that surrounded them, Nerr allowed herself to take in this new girl. With her wide eyes and long, fluffy brown hair, she looked almost like a doll. Too pretty to be in a battlefield hospital. The Hoshidan smiled at the her.
"Hello, Nerrida-san. I'm Kazahana, but you can just call me 'Hana'. Sakura-sama has told me all about you!"
"Hana!" A man's voice, much older than the girl who'd spoken, echoed across the room. The owner of the voice, a man of about Xander's age with long, red hair tied in a high ponytail, came in from an adjacent room, carrying two buckets of water. He set them down carefully and approached the pink-clad girl, giving her a reproachful look. "The nerve of you, making introductions while I'm helping Sakura-sama." He smiled at Nerr, bowing slightly. "I am Tsubaki. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Nerrida-sama."
She took a step back from them. The last time strange Hoshidans were this close to her, they were trying to kill her. It seemed Sakura knew these people- or at least, they knew her- but she was not interested in introductions. She gazed around the room, trying to find something to occupy herself with. There was a stack of clean bandages next to a young woman with a bleeding gash on her head. Nerr knew how to bandage head wounds; she'd gotten a lot of them, running and falling down as a child. She slowly knelt beside the woman, taking one of the bandages and starting to wrap it around the girl's head. She took in the princess's obviously Nohrian armor and flinched, but Nerr paid her no mind. She could feel eyes on her and glanced back over her shoulder to see Kazahana and Tsubaki still looking at her. What did they want from her? A response?
"Well... I'm afraid you probably know a great deal more about me than I know about either of you. Let's keep it that way."
"Whaaat?" The girl's incredulous voice grated her ears and nerves both, and the Nohrian girl looked back at them again, frowning.
"I'm not here to make friends with Hoshidans. It's nice that you have names, but if you have time to introduce yourselves, you have time to help these people."
"Ugh! That is so rude!" Judging by the tone of her voice, it was clear Hana, or whatever her name was, intended to start an argument, but her companion seemed to possess the maturity that came with his age.
"Even so, I believe Nerrida-sama is right. There are more pressing matters than making good first impressions."
"But-"
"Come on, Hana; we're supposed to be helping Sakura-sama, remember?" The younger girl growled in frustration, but based on the sound of retreating footsteps, she had decided that Tsubaki was right. Nerr sighed. At least that was one problem taken care of. Silently, as she tied off the bandage, she wondered what her Hoshidan sister could possibly tell anyone about her. She had been so young when she'd been taken to Nohr- Elise hadn't even been born yet, and Sakura seemed at least close to Elise's age, so it was likely she hadn't been born yet either. How does one talk about a person they've never met? Probably from things she'd heard from her mother and Ryouma and Hinoka.
As she got to her feet, scanning the room for someone else she could deal with on her own, Nerr found herself wondering about that person they spoke of as well. That "Nerrida" person they all seemed to know and, barring Takumi, "love". Maybe that was why Ryouma was so cold towards her- he wanted her to be "Nerrida". The problem was, Nerr didn't know who that person was; she had never met the girl they all knew and wanted back. She could not be someone who died fifteen years ago. Hopefully one day, they'd realize that and say "good riddance", but until that day came, she would have no choice but to continue healing the blood of her enemies.
000
It felt like it had been hours since Nerr had first come into Fort Jinya. Fortunately, most of the injured people had been dealt with, those whose injuries were not so severe even going back to their homes. Her hands were covered in blood, and it remained crusted around her nails even after she scrubbed them as best she could in a bucket of murky, rust-colored water. Standing upright, she arched her back, groaning slightly as she felt the spaces between her vertebrae crack and pop. She had only been bandaging wounds, occasionally helping set a broken bone or two... she wasn't even putting a strain on herself by tapping into any latent magic reserves with a staff... How did healers do this? She felt a newfound appreciation for all the times Jakob had healed her after training...
As the Nohrian princess rolled her shoulders, trying to ease the tension knotting the muscles there, she noticed a huddle of red and white approach her. For once, Sakura wasn't clinging to her staff for dear life (it had broken from overuse and she'd had to fetch another one), and was instead twisting the hem of her skirt. Even while she moved to stand next to Nerr, she continued staring at her feet rather than actually look at her sister. How could a princess be so bad at talking to people? Nerr was no social butterfly, but even she could look people in the eye when she needed to speak... She wondered if it was just an aspect of Hoshidan culture, but really, Sakura seemed to be the only one affected by it, so perhaps not.
"...did you need something, Sakura?" She prompted as gently as she could, wiping her hands on her tights- yes, they dripped with bloody water, but it wasn't as if her clothes were actually clean. The rose-haired girl started slightly, looking up as though she'd actually forgotten there was someone there.
"Oh, um... no. W-well, yes, actually... Um... t-thank you for helping, nee-sama. Y-you're very good at, erm... dealing with injured p-people..."
"It was nothing. You and Jakob did all the actual healing. I just tied people back together." Sakura shook her head slightly. The white ribbon she wore in her hair was coming undone; Nerr could feel her own hair coming loose. Her stomach clenched as she realized she wouldn't be asking Flora to retie it any time soon...
"Oh, no- w-what you did was... really helpful! I... I'm not very comfortable around blood... W-when I see people hurt so badly, I- I freeze." She looked back down, a miserable expression clouding her face. She blinked hard, though, and looked back up, determination shining in her eyes. "B-but I can't let that stop me from- from doing what needs to be d-done. I-I have to help our soldiers, right?"
"...I suppose that's what your family would want from you." The young girl nodded again, slowly growing more confident. It was strange to think that this shy, retiring little wisp of a girl was her little sister. In Nerr's mind, little sisters were exuberant and brimming with confidence. They didn't ask for validation; they were the ones who told you you could do anything you set your mind to, because you were their big sister/brother. But then again... all of her family members were confident. That was part of why she admired them so greatly, why she strove to be like them... thinking about that was painful, and she only just realized Sakura was still staring up at her, occasionally casting her gaze away for a moment before looking back. This girl was so strange...
"Uh... n-nee-sama...? Will you- will you help me?"
"...help you what?"
"B-be a better healer. I-I want to be brave and not cringe when people b-bleed on me, like you are." Nerr looked away from her.
"...I'd hardly say I'm brave for that..." After all, she'd had people bleed on her before; their hot, sticky blood pouring over her like a baptism as she sank her blade deep into their flesh, cutting them open and killing them, Hoshidans who threatened her country, her people, possibly even the relatives of those she now helped... There was still blood under her nails. As far as she knew, it had been there form her first true battle. Maybe that was just what color her hands would be from now on... Sakura didn't seem to notice her sudden change in demeanor, or like all young children, simply didn't understand it. She changed the subject.
"Oh! Um, I, erm... I heard you met my retainers."
"Who?" When had she met any retainers? Had they been amongst the wounded?
"Hana-san and Tsubaki-san. Th-they told me they introduced themselves..."
"Oh. Them." Yes, she vaguely remembered people with those names. Nerr hoped she wasn't expected to actually remember any of the Hoshidan royal retainers; she barely remembered her own siblings' hangers-on, only that both of Camilla's were women and both of Leo's were men. That was okay, but the fact that she had two male retainers was apparently considered a faux pas, according to Xander... The princess doubled over slightly, the pain in her gut growing sharper. She couldn't really say she had two retainers anymore, could she...?
"N-nee-sama? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Yes, she was hurt, but not in a way a healer could fix. Nerr shook her head, forcing herself to stand up straight again. A small part of her wanted to find an unoccupied corner of the room and lay down, but that would only have Sakura asking more question which would lead to Jakob getting worried, and... she just couldn't deal with that. Not now, not surrounded by Hoshidans. Perhaps there would be a moment where she and her steward could simply sit and talk in peace and she could tell him everything and he would rub her back as she cried into his shoulder like she used to when they were children... But that would have to wait. One of the screen doors that partitioned the room slid open, and a harried-looking Azura rushed in. There wasn't a drop of blood on her pristine dress, Nerr realized with a surge of annoyance. Her eyes locked onto the Nohrian princess at once and she frowned slightly.
"Nerr. We've got trouble."
"What now?" It was always something with these Hoshidans, wasn't it?
"The Nohrian soldiers haven't wasted any time surrounding us."
"What?!" That was actually worrying, if not confusing. How did they get so far inland- she had seen them retreating, had dug deep and used all of her will power to not run after them. Didn't Ryouma say that if they came back, they would be executed on sight? Speaking of which- "Well, what's Ryouma doing about this? Shouldn't the emperor be directing his army?" Azura shook her head, panic plain in her eyes.
"Ryouma left hours ago, Nerr. Along with Hinoka and Takumi and their retainers; they were heading to the border, and Hinoka went back to the capital, remember?" The the Nohrians must have flanked them to get to the fortress; they were probably on their way to the capital. Sakura looked even more frightened than her older sister, her breath coming in sharp gasps.
"Oh no... oh no oh no oh no... I can't believe th-they'd attack at a time like this... Th-there's no military target here- w-we're using the fort as a m-m-makeshift hospital...!"
"Well, I sincerely doubt they know that." Nerr was quick to defend her people. "It's not like you posted a sign outside that says 'Hospital'; this place is clearly a military target. I saw the ballistae outside, and so do any approaching soldiers. But it isn't as if you have anything to worry about; I'm certain your brother left plenty of soldiers to protect you and his people." Azura shook her head slowly.
"No. I'm afraid not; whatever soldiers aren't accompanying him and the others to the border are protecting the capital."
"...then who's protecting the people who need it?" Even though this was not her fight, even though these people were her enemy, Nerr could not help but feel disgusted by the complete disregard for their safety. Xander would've at least ordered a platoon to remained stationed anywhere large groups of injured civilians or refugees were housed. Sakura sniffled and began weeping softly, covering her eyes with her arms as the dire nature of their situation dawned on her. Azura was at least quick to walk over and pull the younger girl into her arms, quietly shushing her. Another screen opened, and the two people from before- the retainers- walked in, looking worried. The girl rushed over to her mistress at once, firmly grabbing her shoulders.
"Don't worry, Sakura-sama; I can handle these Nohrian dogs, no problem!"
"With my help, of course." Tsubaki intoned, as though it were a practiced reflex to add. They'd probably been listening in at the door, which wasn't all that difficult seeing as they were made of paper. "If you'd like, Sakura-sama, you may remain with the injured while we resolve this unpleasant matter." Sniffling, the young princess looked up at her retainers.
"B-but... who knows how many soldiers are out there...? You two ca-can't take them all on by y-yourself...!"
"Sure I can! I'm stronger than ten Nohrians; they won't know what hit them!" Hana sounded even younger than she looked, a stupid child who believed herself to be invincible. It was little wonder Tsubaki served alongside her; were it just the brunette alone, Sakura would very quickly be out of a retainer.
"We would not be alone, milady; Suzukaze and Rinkah-sama are still here, remember? And there are many choke points between the battlements and the fort itself; funneling those stupid barbarians into our blades will be as child's play." Azura nodded slightly, and while it may have been with the notion that all was not in fact lost, Nerr could not help but feel she definitely agreed with the notion of Nohrians being "stupid barbarians"...
"I will go as well. I may not be skilled at fighting, but I can keep soldiers fighting twice as long." She looked at the Nohrian girl. "And Nerr will join us, I'm certain." Before she could even open her mouth to spew out the expletive-laced hatred that had been stewing inside her, Sakura's retainers chimed in, Hana being the first and loudest.
"That's right! With the other royals away, leadership falls to the second princess, no matter how rude she is. As Sakura-sama's lead retainer, it'll be my pleasure to take your orders." Tsubaki stepped in front of his companion, blocking her completely from view- Nerr had to admit, it did wonders for the scenery.
"And as Sakura-sama's supervising retainer, I, too, welcome your leadership."
" 'Supervising' retainer?! That's not a thing!"
"Well, neither is 'lead retainer'- I don't remember you getting a promotion." Any pretense of professionalism fell away immediately as the two Hoshidans began bickering. It was hard to tell what was more painfully unfunny; the fact that they were yelling at each other in a hospital setting, the fact that they were arguing as the enemy drew ever closer, or the fact that they were arguing about who was the better retainer. The saddest thing was, Nerr was used to these kinds of tiffs; they happened all the time back at the citadel, especially between Gunther and Jakob. She could see them so clearly in her mind's eye, engaging in the age-old argument of who's duties were more important for her ladyship's daily life... She wanted to scream. So she did.
"Gods, shut the fuck up!"A heavy, oppressive silence descended on the room. Even the crickets outside seemed to still their chirping. All four Hoshidans were staring at her in disbelief, but she did not care. It was no wonder their country was being run over if this was how their soldiers behaved. "There is a battalion of soldiers heading this way with the intention of slaughtering you, and you're bickering over chores!? You protect the youngest princess of Hoshido? Ha! She'd be in better hands if left with wild dogs! It would be more useful to everyone if you two ran to find something to use as a white flag, because that's clearly the only way you're going to be able to deal with the enemy!" Tsubaki simply gaped at her, the blank look in his eyes and quivering jaw making it look as if he'd had a stroke. Hana's shock was quickly becoming anger, as it often seemed to, and she turned towards her liege.
"Sakura-sama! You can't let her talk to us that way!" It seemed Sakura too was getting over her shock, a tinge of something similar to anger creeping into her expression as well as she looked at her retainers.
"I-I can, and will, because sh-she's right. You're embarrassing yourselves- a-and me!" Hana looked as if she'd been slapped across the face at those words, but the young princess paid her little mind, turning back to Nerr. "N-nee-sama, please don't let this... juvenile display de-decieve you. Hana-san and Tsubaki-san are both extremely c-capable on the battlefield. A-and they're both going to set aside this... p-petty argument and help you... right?" She looked back at them, coral eyes narrowed. They both seemed to shrink under her gaze, proverbial tails between their legs.
"Of course, Sakura-sama..." It seemed odd to hear Hana so... demure. Tsubaki almost sounded like his normal self, but there was something definitely forced in his smile.
"Certainly. Expect perfection and you will not be disappointed, milady." Nerr scoffed under her breath.
"I'll believe it when I see it." Azura had been watching the scene unfold with darkly assessing eyes, and only spoke up once it seemed the storm had died down some.
"We should get moving and face the intruders head on. We must protect our wounded!"
"Your wounded." The other princess hissed at her quietly. If she wanted to take charge so badly, Nerr would gladly let her. She was in no hurry to face off against her own soldiers once again.
000
Despite it being night, the sun still shone in Hoshido. It had nearly set below the horizon, but there was still enough light to pain the landscape and undersides of the clouds a deep golden orange. Nerr climbed atop one of the ballistae situated near the front of the fort. It was the strangest mechanization she'd ever seen, filled with all sorts of complex gears and springs. But she had no intention of using it. She simply needed a better vantage point. She could see the Nohrian soldiers, a middling mix of calvary and infantry, their silvery armor gilded by the sun's light. It was a small regiment, no more than twenty soldiers, though that was still more than the Hoshidans had available to them. A part of Nerr's mind wondered if surrender was not an option- she knew her soldiers, her people. They would not be interested in harming injured civilians, or a little girl incapable of fighting back. One of the cavaliers sitting high atop a sorrel destrier pushed through the throng of soldiers. She could see that his armor was black, and apparently better crafted than the standard plate the other knights wore. He must've come from a noble house; certainly his features looked rather refined, though his silvery hair seemed in dire need of a brushing. He looked up at her, or at least, in her direction, his voice echoing over the winding levees.
"Ho, Nerr! Is that really you?" The Nohrian girl felt a chill run down her spine. It wasn't at all strange that a captain would know her name, especially if they had been sent by Xander, but there was something about the... familiarity his voice conveyed. She swallowed hard, refusing to let anyone see her rattled.
"Who's asking?"
"A friend! A friend who wants you to put this madness behind you and return back where you belong." Below her, Rinkah scoffed, muttering to Suzukaze.
"These Nohrian dogs just don't know when to admit they've been whupped, do they?" She shook her head slightly, turning her attention back to the "Nohrian dogs". The captain was still speaking, still still trying to entreat her.
"I don't wish to involve you in this fray, Nerr. Please, come back- you'll be safe with us."
"Who is 'us'?"
"It's me, Silas? Don't you remember? We played together as children!" The princess shuddered deeply at those words. Yes, she played with someone named "Silas" when she was little... it had been a figment of her imagination, some dreamed up companion to ease the sting of loneliness. Or maybe, if Gunther's stories were to be believed, it had been the lingering spirit of some long dead child who'd been just as lonely and desperate for companionship as she had been. Either way, Nerr remembered playing hide and seek with no one, and chasing nothing down the halls. She didn't appreciate anyone making her relieve those days of mental weakness.
"Enough of your lies! I don't know you!"
"But-!" She ignored his words, climbing down the thin, rickety ladder. Jakob's eyes were filled with concerned as he looked at her.
"Milady? Are you alright? Who was that?"
"No one! I'm not crazy!" Given the way the Hoshidan looked at her, it was clear they had differing opinions, but it was easy enough to ignore them. What did they know about her childhood? Suzukaze broke the tension, his voice quiet and collected.
"What do you suggest we do, Nerrida-sama? If we force the enemy to come to us, we can certainly take advantage of the terrain, but the soldiers might not be foolish enough to run headlong into so obvious a trap."
"I say we rush out and take them head-on." Rinkah frowned, shouldering her mace. Soot clung to the brass head. "If we hit 'em hard and fast, we can kill them all before they even realize what's going on."
"...kill them? No." Nerr shook her head hard enough that her hair hit her in the face. "We aren't going to kill them."
"We have to!" Hana said passionately. "They're Nohrians! What are we supposed to do; ask them nicely to stop trying to invade? If we spare them, they'll just turn around and keep fighting us. That's all that degenerate scum is good at." Tsubaki nodded.
"I agree with Hana. The only way we can be assured that they won't organize another attack while we're weak is to ensure they can't attack us again, ever. It's not as if they would make an effort to spare us were the tables turned." The crowd, save Nerr and Jakob, murmured in agreement. She felt like she was going to be sick. It was clear her input did not matter, her words would not sway them; they said they would listen to her (apparently because she was royalty), but in truth, they only intended to listen if she gave them orders they wanted to follow. Gritting her teeth, she grabbed Jakob's wrist and began pulling him towards the front of the maze.
"Lady Nerr? What are you-"
"We are not killing these soldiers, Jakob. I will not stand by and watch these savages kill our people. We just- we just need to incapacitate them. If they can't fight back, they're not a threat." She pulled her sword loose from her belt (she desperately wished she had a sheathe for it- were it not for her greave, her leg would be cut to shreds). "Aim to hurt, not to kill. I know I can at least count on you for that." The butler beamed at her praise.
"Indeed you can, milady. These soldiers will think they've drifted off into a gentle slumber when I'm through with them." Nerr could hear the others behind them and sped up. As she turned a corner, she ran into a man with a dark hood pulled over his face, a bow in hand. As he raised it, trying to find a chink in her armor to aim for, the princess charged forward, striking him across the chest with the flat of her blade. She could feel the cartilage of his rib snap under the pressure, but though he cried out in clear agony, he would not die. She grabbed the Nohrian's shoulders, slamming him into the wall for good measure. He stumbled back, dazed, and collapsed into a heap. Well. That was one down, twenty or so to go. Passing through the narrow corridor, it opened into a much larger, much more open space... one that was already filled with soldiers. One, a knight in heavy, bulky armor, began to swing her lance the moment she caught sight of Nerr, but stopped suddenly, looking up at the cavalier beside her.
"It's the princess." She whispered. "We're not s'pposed to kill her; what do we do?" The man she spoke to looked at said princess thoughtfully, before drawing his own sword.
"The captain didn't say anything about knocking her out. We'll truss her up like a deer and take her back to camp."
"I think not!" The soldier's plans were rudely interrupted by the dagger scraping across his cuirass. It did not penetrate the thick steel plates, but it certainly left a deep gouge in them. Jakob was pulling another blade from the holster at his thigh. "Truss my ladyship up like a deer; how dare you!" He had begun to run towards the obviously bemused cavalier when another projectile whizzed over his head, giving him pause. It sank deep into the Nohrian man's face, the points of the iron star cutting into his eye and almost certainly embedded in the bone of the socket and cheek.
He shrieked loudly, dropping both his blade and reins, and writhing so frantically his steed began to panic as well. His fellow knight attempted to, at the very least, regain control of the massive beast, but a man carrying a long lance had by that time gotten close enough to strike her. The thin, curved blade easily made it's way under her massive pauldron, slicing through the lower half of her face with ease. She could not even scream as the blood spilled over her armor, could only let out a wet gurgle. It would've been too grisly a sight to tear her eyes from had another cry from her right not drawn Nerr's attention. Hana was busy cutting down another bowman, literally cutting him down piece by piece as her own curved blade removed an arm before being thrust into his gut and pulled out with a stream of crimson.
Vaguely, the Nohrian princess remembered what Sakura had told her, that Hana and Tsubaki were both very good soldiers. She'd scoffed, wanting to see proof before believing such a claim. Silently, she cursed the gods for answering that unintentional request. All the while, Azura remained out of fighting range (and the splash zone for blood), her arms lifted high as she vocalized in a warbling tone, the fine mist that filled the air indeed seeming to lessen the strain on those fighting for Hoshido's glory. Rinkah had knocked another knight to the ground and was currently trying to hammer him flat within his armor when a wooden javelin came hurtling through the air, striking her in the shoulder. She cried out loud as her flesh was decimated, the bone beneath splintering. A hearty tug on the chain attached to the spear drew it back to it's owner, the noble-looking knight in his black and silver armor. The hatred in his eyes turned them dark as he looked upon his butchered comrades.
"Soldiers! That's enough, retreat!" He called out to the few remaining. One, a cavalier currently trying (and failing) to run Suzukaze through looked back at him.
"What about our orders?"
"To hell with them! I said fall back! GO!" Reluctant to turn their back on an enemy clearly intent on destroying them, the Nohrian knights still standing banded together, weapons drawn and their backs together as they desperately formed a retreat. One archer called out to this "Silas", her voice breaking with fear or pain, it was hard to tell.
"Captain? What about you?"
"I'll cover your retreat. Return to camp and tell Prince Xander what happened."
"We aren't going to leave you!" Another cavalier, this one trying to hold his lance and reins in one hand while the other was pressed to the bleeding gash in his neck. Silas glared at him.
"Don't question me again, soldier. GO!" Slowly, and with undoubtedly heavy hearts, the knights retreated, disappearing behind a wall. The tension did not ease, though, the groans of those still dying almost more oppressive than utter silence. Silas looked upon the Hoshidan soldiers, their weapons all still drawn, before his gaze finally landed on Nerr. She couldn't tell what emotions were in his eyes, an unpleasant mix of everything dark and heavy and upset.
"It's been a while..." He muttered, almost to himself more than to her. "It's been too long, Nerr. You know, I became a knight just so I could see you again... Just like how we always pretended it would be; me saving you from the evil dragons..." 'The dragons weren't evil- I liked them...' "But you always ended up siding with the dragons." Nerr shook her head, stepping back from him unconsciously. She could feel something hot and wet sticking to the soles of her feet.
"Shut up..." She hissed at him. "You don't know me."
"You always made me act out scenes from that stupid 'Prideful Princess' book."
"Stop trying to trick me, ghost! You can't make me think I'm crazy! You're crazy! You're not real!" She didn't care about the looks everyone was giving her; it was much too disturbing to think how this... monster... knew about the saddest, loneliest memories from her childhood. Suzukaze stepped forward, readying another shuriken, his eyes narrowed.
"Clearly, the princess does not know you. You should leave with your soldiers."
"Don't listen to my words, savage. This has nothing to do with you." Silas spat back at him, his attention turned to Nerr once more. "You don't remember me... that's fine. You can still come back to Nohr, though. It's not too late-"
"I'm afraid you're wrong, spectre; I'm well past the point of no return."
"How can you say that, Nerr? How can you willingly stand alongside these murderous heathens?! Look what they've done to your people!" He gestured to the bodies in their death throes, breathing their final breaths. It made her want to vomit. "You can't tell me you condone this!"
"...I'm telling you I can't go back." The cavalier's grip tightened on his javelin, and Nerr wondered if he was going to throw it at her next. Unconsciously, she braced for the impact, but it seemed she was not alone in noticing that tiny gesture. Jakob and Suzukaze both rushed forward, the former driving his dagger deep into the flesh left uncovered by the knight's cuisse, whilst the later pulled him from his steed. Silas landed in a heap of limbs and plate, his weapon lying a few feet away from him, and a Hoshidan-styled dagger pressed to his throat. He did not look at the green-haired shinobi who held his life in his hands, but rather, at Jakob. He laughed humorlessly.
"Even you're turning on me, Jakob? I guess I shouldn't be surprised- really, I should be happy Nerr has such a devoted retainer... Even if I was a little jealous of you..."
"Yes, I'm certain you were jealous of a servant, what with that silver enema stuck up your ass." There was something about that exchange- aside from Jakob's sudden hostility- that struck her as odd. The princess took no more than a step towards the fallen captain before a familiar soft hand closed over her wrist. Azura's face was tight with... worry? Anger? She did not know, or care.
"Nerr, he's trying to trick you. Don't listen to him; just let them kill him and be done with." With her other hand, Nerr roughly pushed the songstress away, feeling a thrill of satisfaction as the delicate girl fell into a puddle of blood congealing on the dusty stone floor.
"Don't try to turn me against my people, Hoshidan; I assure you, you'll fail." Slightly bolstered, the Nohrian girl walked over to Silas, pushing the ninja's weapon aside as well. "...how do you know Jakob?" The knight at her feet looked up at her. When they weren't so dark, his bright green eyes reminded her of a stone she'd had once, long ago. It had been a pretty shade of green as well.
"He was already serving you when you and I met. We talked a couple times... well, he mostly told me that you didn't need me and he was more than enough of a friend for you." Nerr looked over to her steward, who was suddenly very interested in the opposite wall. His face was flushed slightly- in anger, undoubtedly.
"Jakob? Is- Is that true?" The butler looked down this time, still refusing to even meet her gaze. "Jakob!"
"He was always making snacks for you- well, as much as an eight-year old can make snacks- and never let me have any. One time, your sister Camilla brought cookies, and she let me have some-"
"Not me. I didn't have any." The words spilled from her lips before she could even think about them, the memory bubbling to the surface of her mind. "She said she baked them special for me, but I didn't get a single cookie..."
"And you got really mad at her." Silas nodded, his expression growing brighter. "You yelled at her, and she hugged you... and I was always jealous of you for having such a great family..."
"...how do you know that...?"
"Because I was there! I practically lived in the Northern Citadel for two years, I was there so often! I know you remember me, Nerr!"
"He's lying, Nerrida-san!" Hana scowled deeply at the scene playing out in front of her, and adjusted her grip on her sword. "All Nohrians know is how to lie; he's just trying to get you to lower your guard so he can stage another attack!"
"Don't listen to them! You know who I am, you know I would never lie to you..." Breathing deeply, Nerr turned to Jakob once more.
"Jakob. I'm ordering you to tell me if what he's saying is true." She rarely, if ever, ordered her retainers to do anything. She never needed to; a polite request had always been enough to get them to do whatever she was asking. The butler flinched slightly, slowly looking up as if meeting her eyes was the hardest task in the world.
"...it is. I remember this churl- he was always scuffing the floors in the citadel with his shoes, and using the freshly folded sheets for tents, and eating all the snacks I made for you even though I told him not to!" Each one of his words added another weight to Nerr's heart, dragging it down through her ribcage and onto the floor. Inhaling deeply, she tied her sword back to her belt and clasped Silas' hand in her own, heaving him to his feet. He stood a little shorter than Jakob, though that was not unusual- her steward was very tall, almost as tall as Gunther had been- but still taller than her. His expression had gone from hopeful to confused.
"What are you doing, Nerr?"
"Yes, what are you doing, Nerrida-sama? He's the enemy!" The incredulity in Tsubaki's voice grated her nerves. For such a peaceful country, the concept of things like "mercy" sure seemed foreign to them.
"He isn't the enemy. He's my friend."
"You can't honestly believe that horse shit!" Rinkah's voice was tight with pain, her dark skin pallid as she held a bloody wad of pink cloth to her ruined arm. Nerr might have felt sorry for her had there not been macerated chunks of meat and hair and bone stuck in the grooves of her club.
"What reason do I have to doubt my memories? Just because they're not clear doesn't mean they're not there. This battle is over; you all won. Go back inside." By that time, Azura had gotten back to her feet; with her hair mussed and her clothes drenched in blood she helped spill, she no longer looked so angelic.
"But Nerr-"
"Does it sound like I'm asking you a question, Azura? As you people keep reminding me, I am a princess of Hoshido- the real princess, unlike you- so when I tell you to go inside, I expect you to do it." A spark of something, either fear, hate, or a mixture of both, sparked in the songstress's eyes for a moment before dying away. Perhaps she was simply remembering what happened the last time Nerr had been upset with her. Suzukaze, the one person with a modicum of common sense, was the first to step away from the group of Nohrians, and the only one to bow respectfully. The others followed his lead, leaving the carnage behind and returning to the safety of the fort once more.
000
It was impossible to know what time it was simply by looking at the sky in Hoshido. Everything remained that strange mix of orange and purple, as if the sun could never truly set below the horizon. If she looked hard enough to the west, Nerr could make out the deep, rich indigo of the sky over Nohr. Although it was probably cloudy, thick, dark clouds getting ready to bury the country in snow and rain, she imagined the stars were shining brightly. She never dreamed she could miss those brilliant pinpricks of lights. But then again, she never dreamed she'd be somewhere she couldn't see them... The princess sat amidst a small copse of trees outside the walls of Fort Jinya. The dead had not yet been removed, and she wondered if they even would be, or if they'd just be left for rats and other scavenging creatures. She had no faith in the Hoshidans; they were so unorganized, so incompetent at anything that did not involve killing, it seemed.
She hugged her knees tighter to her chest. Silas sat with her, his back pressed against a tree. His trousers were torn and bloody where Jakob had stabbed him, though the steward had at least healed the wound. He had run back inside the fort, saying he needed to retrieve something, and while Nerr did not like the thought of him being alone with the Hoshidans, she knew her retainer well enough to rest assured that he could at least get out of a situation like that and return to her. It also allowed her a brief moment of privacy with her once only friend. He told her how they had snuck out of the citadel once, the confines of the outer bailey being the furthest she'd ever gone before that day. Stupid children that they were, they'd had a picnic amidst the desolate scenery, completely unaware of the dangers of bandits, Wyverns, landslides... When he mentioned the knight that had come after her, riding hell to leather, her eyes burned with tears that she would not allow to fall. After that day... Silas stopped coming, banned from ever seeing her again (from, in fact, coming anywhere near the citadel). Nerr rested her forehead on her knees, the cold steel of her poleyns soothing the headache she could feel coming on.
"...I thought I made you up... Everyone said I made you up..."
"They were probably just trying to protect you from the truth. I mean, if someone told me my best friend kidnapped me and had been sent away to avoid the execution block, I'd be pretty traumatized." The cavalier laughed slightly, though it seemed a bit strained. He sighed deeply. "Do you truly not intend to return to Nohr?"
"Not yet."
"There may not be another chance, Nerr."
"Well, there certainly isn't a chance now!" She groused. "King Garon is mad. He gave me a cursed sword and sent me to be captured by the Hoshidans! And I know he meant for me to die here, because I would be dead had it not been for my mother taking a blow meant for me..." Her voice trailed off, the anger quickly giving way to misery. Had it only been two days? It felt like it had been a lifetime, at least... "He tried to have me killed... He turned my family against me... He's taken away my reason for living..." All at once, every wound inflicted on her since that first taste of "freedom" felt raw and infected. The pain seeped inside her, filling her up and hardening into something that encased her bones and made every breath hurt. Her soul hurt.
"Nerr..." Perhaps sensing that something was wrong- he couldn't see her, her face was buried in her knees, Silas moved to sit beside her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. A warm, fraternal gesture Xander would have done had he been the one sitting there. Xander, who had called her a traitor, who demanded she return, hat in hand, to the man who killed everything good and right in her life or else, admit she didn't really love her family... Her family who left her behind in this sordid wasteland because they would not even look at the evidence that their father was a demon... a demon who began all this in the first place... Another emotion that was becoming disturbingly familiar- loathing- began working it's way into the sorrow she felt. She balled her hands into fists, her nails biting into her calloused palms.
"...I am dead inside now." She whispered, almost too quiet to hear herself. Silas could easily ignore her if he wanted to. "He's destroyed me... and I won't rest until I've destroyed him as well." All her life, Nerr had plans laid out for her; what she was going to do for the day, what she was going to eat, what her goals were. King Garon told her that she was to train and become stronger, and eventually, join the Nohrian army. Once, Xander reminded her that, one day, the king would tell her that she would marry a man she did not know (but was sure she would detest) for the good of the kingdom. She enjoyed it, to an extent; knowing exactly where she was going in life, but she had never made any plans for herself... until today.
Suddenly, that vague dream of returning home "some day" solidified into something she could sink her nails in and cling to. Dreams did not come true- that was why they were dreams. She had dreamed of marrying and having a family and living Happily-Ever-After... she'd dreamed that the person she loved might one day love her back... but he was mouldering at the bottom of the Infinite Chasm. Dreams existed to be dashed upon the cold, hard stones of Reality. Hopes, however... she'd hoped to become a solider, to leave the citadel, and she had accomplished those things with hard work. Yes... she could do anything she wanted if she tried hard enough. That thought brought with it a measure of peace, and she allowed herself to sit up marginally straighter. Silas wasn't looking at her, but rather, at the garishly colored clouds.
"I suppose my words horrify and disgust a loyal knight such as yourself. You are more than free to leave at any time, my friend. Go; rejoin your soldiers. They probably think you're dead by now."
"...as I would be were it not for you. This is twice now you've had my life spared, Nerr. I swore I would become a knight for you, to protect you from all those horrible things that you had to stay in the citadel to be safe from... If one of those things is the king himself, then... There's no way I can return to his service. I'll stand by you, my friend, through thick and thin. My loyalty is yours." He did not know how deeply those words resonated within her. Loyalty... That had always been the core aspect of love in her mind, for how could you love someone if you were not loyal to them? Her heart swelled with affection, and she leaned her head on the cavalier's shoulder.
"Thank you, Silas. Truly."
"Don't mention it. And who knows? Perhaps together, we can bring peace to this world someday." Nerr laughed, a weary, sobersided chuckle.
"Peace? What do I care for peace when my world has come undone? No, Silas... this is vengeance." By that time, Jakob had returned, carrying a leather satchel in his hands. She recognized it at once- it was the bag she had packed when she left the citadel, containing only a few of her belongings, because she had been certain she would return home in a matter of weeks at most. She took the dusty, dirty bag from him, untying the drawstring and opening the mouth to look inside. The faded, yellowing cover of The Prideful Princess stared back at her, mocking her with memories of days long gone that could never return. She ran her finger over the brittle paper, closing her eyes to keep her tears at bay.
'And with a whisper that bordered on a laugh, she said, 'Destroy their country; they'll tremble before my wrath'...' She would never dream of laying waste to her homeland... but she would revel in destroying the man that ruled it.
000
A/N- Man, the first rout chapter where you're not killing water!zombies and ogres.