Part 2: Two to Tango
The only decent thing about the next morning was the ride in Jack's car. An older model Aston Marmot that looked like it had just rolled out of the factory. Its silver-birch body was complemented by the chrome bumper. And it drove smooth, even for as fast as Jack was going. Nick thought about reprimanding him but with a car like this you couldn't help but go a bit faster.
Regardless of the hot wheels, it was still early for Nick. He hadn't reached the state of forming proper sentences yet. So there was mostly silence, which was starting to bore him. He reached towards the radio knob.
"Stop." Jack commanded. Nick paused.
"Can you fly, Wilde?"
"Not really."
"Then it's best you don't touch anything."
Well damn. That just made him want to touch everything. If it wasn't for his knowledge of what Jack's watch could do, he might have just turned the radio on out of spite. But self preservation won out, so Nick sat quietly with his paws in his lap the rest of the way.
Getting measured for a suit was tediously annoying. Standing ramrod still while a snobbish weasel took measuring rope across various parts of his body was not the lavish experience Jack extolled to him when they entered the shop. It took twenty minutes but felt like hours to Nick. After the weasel was done he rolled his shoulders, soothing his aching joints.
"Are we going dress shopping with Judy or am I the only one getting tortured today?"
"Dresses are simple. Something black or white. If you want color, match their eyes and add something that either complements that color or contrasts it without looking garish. But suits…suits have meaning and power, when worn properly."
"Seriously?" Nick deadpanned, "It's for a Pawaiian dignitary right? Why wouldn't this" he pulled at the collar of his bright blue Pawaiian shirt, "Be good enough? A little slice of home away from home. And I got a slew of them in my closet. I'm sure I got one that'd look fine."
Sighing, Jack shook his head, "First, Pawaiian shirts aren't Pawaiian. They were first made by a Japawnese immigrant living in Pawaii and got popular with the tourists."
The bunny got up and rubbed the fabric of Nick's shirt between his fingers.
"Second, really Pawaiian shirts are silk. Rayon is just a sad imitation."
If Jack didn't have a watch that could blow a hole through him, Nick seriously considered hitting him for such an insult. Only Judy gets to make fun of his taste in clothing.
"And third, if your wardrobe seriously consists of your ZPD uniform and a bevy of gaudy shirts, regardless of impending plans of world domination, I may just take a day and get you a new wardrobe."
Spend an entire day buying clothes with him? Nick would rather be muzzled the rest of his life.
"No can do Jackie boy, got a full day of lounging about today. Going to have to take a rain check on that one."
"Sir fox?" The weasel interrupted with a folder of pictures and cloth swatches. "The design needs to be chosen."
"Black. What else is there?" He shook his head, ready to be done with this ordeal already.
Jack put his paw on the book and gently pushed it away, "He'll have a single breasted tux, onyx, with a viridian night shawl collar. Matching pants. White spread collar shirt. Black bow tie. And a deep emerald waist coat."
The weasel wrote everything Jack said down and nodded before departing into the back of the shop.
"Well if that's that…" Nick started, hoping to get home and catch up on some still needed sleep.
But an older voice called out interrupting the fox, "Savage!"
Jack turned to the owner of the voice, an older badger waddling up to them, "Quartermaster? What are you doing here?"
"Officially, I'm taking my niece to some ruddy boy band concert."
"Unofficially?" Jack raised an eyebrow at his quartermaster.
"Unofficially," he put the suitcase on the ottoman, "rearmament."
Maybe, just maybe, this day might not be so bad.
The suitcase opened and Nick was underwhelmed. It looked more like a showcase for fine office materials than rearmament. Pens, billfolds, cell phone cases, watches. Then it clicked. If these were like the watch Jack used on the truck, they were much more than just trinkets.
Quartermaster handed Jack a sleek pen, "Fanglang-Christoph Model 20. Press the clip and it starts recording audio in high definition surround sound."
"Ha! Carrots and I used a little carrot pen recorder like that on Bellwether."
"Oh," The badger seemed to just now realize Nick was standing with them, "And you would be?"
Nick saw the old mammal slowly reach for one of the other pens in the case.
"He's my local contact, Quartermaster."
"Alright then." The badger's paw left the case empty and turned his attention back to Jack. "Now, if you twist the barrel and lift the clip, it shoots out a highly concentrated tranquilizing agent able to safely take down any mammal. But uh, anything smaller than yourself and it might just kill them."
Jack slipped the pen into his breast pocket as the badger pulled out a watch, "Omega 500L. Scratch proof crystal casing with anti-glare. Titanium-steel composite band. Expanded to house 3 explosive tracer darts. Micro-line garrote attached to the crown. And my favorite feature, twist the housing to activate a timer for the highly compacted high explosives inside the watch. Just, ah, don't be wearing it when it goes off, Savage."
Nick leaned his head towards the case, "Could I get one of those?"
With a quick glance at Jack the badger took a watch out of the case and handed it to Nick, who gingerly held it by its band.
"So what does it do?"
He shut the case and faced Nick, "It tells the time. Sorry I couldn't do more Jack, it's getting harder and harder to smuggle in gear officially."
"Are you going to be alright Quartermaster?"
He rummaged in his jacket pocket and pulled out a package of ear plugs.
"And if it gets too rowdy." He twisted the face of his own watch which began shooting out arcs of electricity.
"That's the spirit!"
Nick stared at his plain, gadget free watch and thought he could at least sell it for some nice coin after the mission was over.
Thankfully the ride back was quiet as Nick fiddled with his new, non-gadgety, watch. It felt odd on his wrist. Rarely did he wear watches but this felt heavier than any he's worn before. But it was an expensive watch and maybe the fad with expensive watches is to be heavy; to make the mammal feel like they're getting their money's worth.
"One of my mates in intel told me about this delicatessen downtown…"
"Remy's or La Salumeria?" Nick butted in almost on instinct.
"La Salumeria. I was thinking of…"
Of course that's the one he would have heard about. Plates cost five times their worth with the supposed excuse of being exotic delicacies that are more art than food. Snobbery of the highest caliber. If it wasn't for his time with Mr. Big, Nick would never have been able to pay for half an appetizer. Let alone step into the place.
"If you're thinking of going to a place with good food go to Remy's. Salumeria is just a status symbol that serves standard diner fare with foreign names."
Such a fine looking car sitting in front of Nick's apartment building seemed out of place. The mammals around couldn't help but stare. They rarely got to see a car that wasn't a rusted beater of some sort.
"Would you want to…"
Since he forgot his sunglasses, Nick decided to be a little nice and shut his eyes before he rolled them. Seems like Jack did want to pal around with Nick. Maybe to torture him some more.
"Yeah, no. It's my day off. Normally I'd be getting up about now. And you know I had a long night last night. So I'm just going to finish getting the rest I missed out on this morning."
The look of confused shock on the rabbit's face made Nick realize that he must not be used to people not wanting his company. All that foreign suave and charm must work on most mammals, but not this fox.
"See ya' tomorrow at the shindig Jackie boy." Nick weakly waved as he shut the door and headed inside.
In truth he got about an hour's worth of sleep rolling around on his bed. Already being awake for a few hours didn't help him. Neither did the sunlight beaming through the window, the drawn down shades be damned. He showered again, still not feeling totally clean from the previous night. It was edging close to four o'clock by the time he dressed and his stomach was growling. Grabbing his phone, he shot off a text to Judy.
[u want 2 grab some chow?]
[jack just got us a table at la salumeria]
Nick, not wanting to kill the messenger device in a fit of rage, calmly tossed his phone onto his couch as he felt the anger boiling up. And right before it boiled over, a little voice in his mind piped up saying, Maybe if you took him up on his offer you could be there with Judy.
"SON OF A BITCH!"
Nick arrived at the hotel after the two rabbits. Catching glimpses of his reflection on the way in, he had to hand it to the rabbit. The suit did look damn good.
"Where are you, Wilde?" Jack's voice came from his earpiece.
Another one of his gadgets. One small little bud went into an ear to hear and two little pads hid under the fur on the throat to communicate. Even the slightest whisper could be shared between them across the room but unheard by the mammal physically in front of them, which meant Nick had to remember to bite his tongue tonight. A lot.
"Just walking in, Jackie."
This was a very formal party. The likes of which Nick has only personally seen once while working with Mr. Big. Even then, it was only for a few minutes. Being a courier didn't allow him the ability to linger.
"Oh for god's sake, Wilde, lose the shades."
"Nick, why on earth would you…" Judy's voice dropped out, a few faint starts were heard before chiming back, "You… you look good, Nick. Better if you didn't have the sunglasses inside."
With a sigh he tucked the glasses into the jacket's inside pocket and pulled out a small bottle of painkillers. Tapping out two pills he quickly swallowed them and headed towards the banquet table. It was dusk and he was still suffering from the hangover.
After coming down from his rage, he had contacted Finnick and went out drinking. His memory went from fuzzy to black real quick. All he had to remember that night was a text from Finnick the morning after.
[Uz got bunny blues chump! Deal wit it]
There were three separate banquet tables; small, medium, and large. All of them held the same foods but sized for their intended mammals. Nick could hollow out and live in the towering cake on the large table. Instead he settled for a glass of champagne and some small h'orderves.
"Alright, I'm at the spot. Where are you two?"
"Where we can keep an eye on everything."
"On the dance floor." Judy elaborated.
The cracker snapped sharply between his gritted teeth. Looking towards the center of the room there were two sets of bunny ears slowly moving about together among the other mammals dancing.
"We can keep an eye on the whole room, including you, and not look suspicious."
Nick shook his pill bottle, wondering how much he could take without needing medical attention. He opted for another beverage, grabbing a fresh flute of champagne. If Judy was with him she would give him an earful or two about drinking while taking pain killers. But she wasn't and this hangover was still hurting. Besides, it was just some generic over the counter brand. He wasn't even sure if it was working.
"You remember the contact phrase and response?"
When he got up this morning, afternoon really, Jack left a package at his door. It had his suit and all the instructions for the night. Including the code phrases to start the deal that he beat out of the hyena.
"Yeah, yeah. Just who am I looking for?"
"I was hoping you'd know. I chose you for this operation for your local knowledge."
"Then how come," he said between bites of some veggie wrap, "I'm not down there trying to spy the buyer and have you do the exchange?"
"Are you kidding, Nick? You know how much of a scene a bunny and a fox dancing would cause?"
She was right and he hated that. But she didn't have to sound so damn chipper about it. He downed his glass and reached for another.
"Fine, the sly fox makes the shady deal. Yet again."
Nick scanned the large room, trying to ignore the four ears on the dance floor. A few recognizable faces, but most were legit mammals. Or at least their not so lawful dealings were low key. No one he'd peg for a diamond buy. The second floor acted as a balcony that wrapped around the room, which went five floors higher but had full length windows every few meters. There was a cheetah up there he thought he recognized. Unless he was able to remove the jagged scar over his muzzle, it wasn't who he thought it was.
"Got nothing. Snacks are decent though. So's the bubbly."
"Ease up on it, Wilde. No one buys diamonds from drunkards."
"Yes, mother."
That got a chuckle from Judy which made Nick's day more tolerable.
"Is that…" Jack muttered. "I think you're going to have company."
Acting like he was turning back to the table of food, Nick spied a slender figure of red and black coming straight towards him. A vixen about his height, thin with an overly fluffed tail. Her fur was a shade darker and as she turned to grab a drink for herself, her backless black dress showed off an hourglass shaped patch of black fur.
"Well hello there." Nick swaggered over to her.
"I swear Nick, if you use any of your cheap pick up lines…" Judy's voice warned in his ear.
"Hello." Her voice was light and airy, nearly a whisper but still audible. "Rare to see another fox at these kind of things."
Jack's voice came in anxious, "That vixen. Does she have a patch of fur on her back that looks like a hourglass? Cough once if she does."
Nick put his paw up to his mouth, to be polite, and gave a small cough.
"Too true, darling. But as a species, we're moving up in the world, finally. The name's Sean Fuzpatrick." Sticking with the planned cover identity, Nick extended his paw.
She took his paw and shook it. It felt so soft and lovely. So much so that Nick was suddenly wanting to feel more of that paw.
"That's..." Jack started.
"Vivian Veuve."
"...The Black Widow! Be cautious, Wilde. She's a heavy hitter with the nasty habit of seducing her prey and killing them. And not always in that order."
Nick froze his nonchalant face for several seconds, taking that in. The very fine looking vixen in front of him was some sort of high profile assassin and alleged necrophile. That really shot any thought of wanting to feel those soft paws again.
"Pleasure to meet you, Vivian."
The vixen's amber eyes twinkled as she took in Nick, "Oh Mr. Fuzpatrick, the pleasure is undoubtedly all mine."
A cold shiver snaked down Nick's spine.
"Beautiful room, is it not?"
That's the first code phrase. Shit. There were three total. A start phrase and two confirmation phrases.
"In all of its beauty, it is missing something shiny though." Translation: I am the one with the diamonds.
Please say an ice sculpture or sequined tapestries. Hell, Nick would take a disco ball. Just don't say...
"A chandelier would look nice. Give the room some sparkle." She finished, confirming she's the buyer.
Goddamn it. The thing about the nice little communication devices of Jack's is that they only hear them. So they're just getting his side of the conversation.
"Indeed, a chandelier would be nice."
"Shit." Muttered Jack.
"Why don't you come up to my room. So we can talk chandeliers all night in private."
"I'd be honored to accept an invitation to your room."
"Nicholas Piberius Wilde. Do NOT follow that vixen to her room."
But he had to. This was the operation. This was his job. Make the exchange and then the three of them would bust the buyer. Following her out of the ballroom he watched her tail swing to and fro. Most mammals would be thinking impure thoughts at the sight. All Nick could think of was how much it reminded him of a pendulum. Each dreadful swing bring him a moment closer to disaster. The hourglass fur patch was not helping to derail that train of thought either.
Her room was on the fourth floor. He prayed that his silence in the elevator was interpreted as stoic or "just business". It felt more like the silence of the condemned heading to their final judgment. As she fiddled with the hotel card key Nick looked out the hallway window down to the ball room. They were right above the tables they met at moments ago. The last thing he thought before hearing the click of the door was that it looked like one hell of a drop.
The type of hotel rooms Nick was most acquainted with were the kind that just held bed with a closed off bathroom. This was more like an apartment. An apartment he'd be envious to have. There was a couch and a flat screen TV in the main room with several doors and short hallways leading off from it.
She walked to a door, her tail flicked with each sway of her hips, "Give me a moment, will you?"
Nick gave her an affirmative shrug, and she slipped into the other room.
"You two better be at the door right now. Because I'm getting some really bad vibes from this."
"On our way, old chap."
"Don't do anything stupid, Nick."
"Carrots," he began in barely a whisper as not to be heard by the murderous diamond buyer, "I'm standing in the fanciest hotel in town with a sack of diamond in my pocket worth enough for the both of us to retire to a nice tropical beach for the rest of our lives, and I'm selling them to some murder happy nympho. We're well past stupid here. The smartest decision I could have made today was staying in bed."
The door opened a crack and Nick heard her call out, "You can come in now."
"Oh goody, the spider just invited the fly into her parlor."
Nick walked into the room. The bedroom. Tea candles were lit all over the room, illuminating everything with their warm flickering light. Vivian stood next to the king sized bed wearing a robe.
"I prefer to have a little pleasure before getting down to business." She let the robe fall off her frame, revealing the small, black, lacy, and very appealing undergarments.
Nick's brain stalled out. Primal feelings welled up, spurred by pent up urges and unfulfilled desires. But those feelings crashed on the dam of duty and civilized thought with a good heaping of the fear of death. The only bit that made it through, and restarted his mind, was a single thought.
I bet Judy would look better in that.
He shook his head as the cogs began to turn properly again. Vivian giggled, "I do have that effect on males. So, Sean, want a little bit of fun before work?"
There had been some bad days in his life. The Ranger Scouts initiation was pretty much the tops. Emotional childhood trauma and all that. Mr. Big and the skunk rug was up there. So was the day of Judy's press conference for the missing mammals case. But today was shaping up to be a real humdinger of a bad day. A real contender.
He tried to sly his way out of not being bedded and deaded by saying he just likes to watch. That was a very bad mistake. Apparently she abhors voyeurs, and things quickly became a different sort of physical. She raked his face with her claws, grabbed him by his fancy collar and tossed him into the mini bar. She then came at him with a knife as he got up, soaked with alcohol. Must have had it stashed under the pillow. He was able to avoid her swings enough to not cut flesh. Fabric was a different story. His nice suit was now in ribbony tatters around his torso. She also sliced open the pocket that held the diamonds, sending the sack spilling to the floor.
Then she threw the candle. Of all things happening today, Nick never imagined that being on fire would be one of them. Yet there he was, the flames lapping up the alcohol soaked suit. So he did the only thing his body let him do. Scream and run. He ran through the hotel door. Not opened the door and ran out, but through it. Smashed it right off its hinges. Which led to the door breaking through the window across from it, allowing Nick back into the ballroom. Four stories above everyone else.
He didn't even register he was falling. The flames took up too much of his thoughts. Although he was starting to wonder why the second phase of stop, drop, and roll was taking so long. If he was more aware of the fall he would be wondering whether or not he'd survive the sudden stop. Maybe he'd just be in a body cast for a few months, as a best case scenario.
But it wasn't sudden broken bones or extreme cranial trauma that made him switch gears. It was the fact that he couldn't breathe. He didn't remember there being a pool in the ballroom. With a few kicks he broke the surface and gasped in air. Some cut up pieces of citrus fruit bobbed against him in the red liquid. He was saved by the elephantine bowl of punch. Taking a moment to revel in his survival, he floated on his back in the crimson pool. And that's when he noticed the door was now falling as well.
Liquid really slows down movement for most mammals, so the best and quickest thing Nick did was curl into a ball and try to be as small of a target as possible. Hoping beyond hope that it would miss him. And with his small stroke of luck, it did. Just hitting the rim of the bowl it poured him onto the floor of the ballroom before bouncing back into the air.
He got up, sopping wet with punch, suit slashed and burned, and with singed fur. There was a loud clatter as the door made its final landing, sounding like it cracked in half. The guests all gasped in shock. One of them screamed in fright.
"Cake!"
Nick looked at the crowd wondering why cake would be fright worthy. They were all looking up. He turned and looked up as well. Turns out the door smashed into the medium sized mammals table and snapped it in two, sending the cake skyward catapult style. He had time to move but his brain wouldn't let him. After being on fire and surviving a several story fall his brain didn't register a flying cake as much of a threat to his life and safety. And so the frosting covered confection landed squarely on the soaked fox.
Well it sure beats being covered in sewage.
Nick made it half a block out from the hotel's entrance before he was stopped. Judy was calling his name. Her voice rang in both ears. Turning he saw her running up. Her dark violet dress shimmered in the bright lights of the hotel's awnings. A green sash tied at her waist. She was stunning.
"Nick, wait!" Her worried eyes looked him up and down, "Are you alright?"
"I'll live."
"Nick…" She stepped forward, stretching her arms out. She was going in for a hug. He would have given just about anything for a good hug at this point. Especially from Judy. But Nick placed a single finger on her forehead, keeping her at arm's reach.
"Carrots, don't. I'm a mess." He motioned down at his ruined suit, still smeared with a slurry of cake and punch. "One of us needs to still look absolutely ravishing and it looks like you have to carry that burden."
Her ears flushed before dropping behind her head. With her arms lowered, she began to nervously squeeze her own paw.
"Will you be alright? Do you want me to…"
Their earpieces chimed in, "She's gone. Took the diamonds and the cash with her."
Judy clenched her paw, "Well she couldn't have gotten far. We could…"
"No. Leave it. She's gone. And she's too dangerous for either of you."
"Yet you didn't stop me from going up to her room." Nick muttered forgetting that he could be heard.
"I'm sorry, Wilde, but that was a chance we needed to take. Damn glad you made it out though."
Turning away from the hotel again, he began walking towards the closest train station, "Then if we're done here, I'm heading home before the hotel bills me for the damages."
"Nick," Jack's voice was more stern than usual, "Vivian is very dangerous and doesn't like her prey getting away from her. I don't think you should be alone tonight, she might try and finish what she started. You should stay with me tonight."
That was a terrifying thought. Having a sleepover with Jack Savage. Nick looked back to see Judy a few steps behind him.
"Carrots, can you do me a favor? Text Finnick and have him pick me up. Tell the little guy 'daddy' needs a 'pool party'. He'll know what you mean." The back of Finn's van would be covered in a plastic tarp with lots of towels and some extra clothes in the passenger seat.
She nodded and pulled out her phone. It was odd that those two got along. But Nick was thankful Finn was as accepting of his career change, and the friendliness he's shown to Judy. Although there was a fear floating in the back of his mind of what kind of hell the two of them could wreak upon him if they joined forces.
"Look Wilde, she isn't some mob enforcer. She's…"
Nick missed what Jack had to say as he pulled the earpiece out.
"So much better." He scratched at the vocal pads on his neck. "Tell super spy I'm sleeping in tomorrow, Fluff. Night."
"Be careful, Slick. Okay?" He didn't bother responding as she quickly became occupied explaining the situation to Jack. "No… He took them off… Finn's his friend… Because he's a fennec and... "
Making it to the end of the block he leaned on a lamp post and waited to hear the telltale backfiring of Finnick's van. He looked at his watch, ready to start timing the fennec. Punch poured out of it and a portion still swam around under the crystal faceplate. It was heavy and expensive but not water proof.
Author's Note:
Sorry for taking so long on this! Life kind of got in the way, as it does from time to time.
Anyway, super thanks to UmbraTsuki (go check his stuff out!) and Magnor for doing some beta reading. Helpful stuff!
Cake and fur is a terrible combination. I almost wanted to have Nick be shaven at the start of chapter 3, although I think he would have preferred that with how it does start. But man his water bill is going to be crazy high with all the showers he's taking.
Speaking of chapter 3, I wanted this tale to just a few short scenes but now part 3 is 20 pages of a 40 page google doc. And I'm not finished with it. Near the end though.
Hope everyone's having a good time!