Hi guys. Thanks for the kind words. This chapter has flashes of Paige in Basic Training. I used Wikipedia to get a little of what goes on, it could be highly inaccurate, I apologize. The graduation ceremony may be inaccurate too, once again I'm sorry. Buckle up you're in for a bumpy ride. Sorry if this chapter is choppy. WARNING: There may be triggering events, a suicide (not a main character do not panic), thoughts of self harm is also brought up.
Paige stirs flashes of Basic Training playing behind her eyes.
Paige looks back at her running mate "Come on Anders you can do this. Find that second wind push through the pain turn it into strength."
A fellow trainee with red hair tied in a bun groans "I can't these times are impossible."
Paige encourages "Nothing is impossible once you put your mind to it. Why did you enlist? You must have known you were capable of this."
Anders pants "I thought it would be easier."
Paige raises her eyebrow "You thought the Air Force would be easy? I thought I was fit. Then I joined the Air Force."
Anders compliments "You're kicking ass. I'm in danger of getting booted out."
Paige snorts "Please. It's kicking my ass, I'm just kicking back. Not letting this break me. You have to find your strength and push back. Don't let anyone tell you you're not worth it. You are and if people are saying you aren't, change their minds. Yeah it's going to be hard but the pay off will be spectacular. You can do this Anders, push past your breaking point and create a new one to break through."
Anders takes a breath putting her head down and running forward, Paige claps her on the back "Good. Now do that without looking down."
Anders mumbles "You're worse then the MTI's."
Paige smiles "Thanks."
Anders grumbles "That wasn't a compliment."
Paige shrugs "I'll take it as one."
Anders shakes her head mumbling things Paige doesn't understand.
Paige places the last piece of her gun in place raising her hands.
The instructor looks at his stop watch "Good. Now dismantle it."
Paige begins the process of taking it apart raising her hands when she is done.
The instructor comments "You're a machine McCullers. Help Anders with hers."
Anders growls "I can do it myself."
The instructor looks at her "What was that Anders? Twenty pushups."
One of the other trainees quips "If she can do them."
Two others laugh. The instructor demands forty pushups from the three of them. Paige sighs watching Anders struggle after her tenth pushup.
Paige runs up to Anders after their lesson "Wait. Look I'm sorry for this afternoon."
Anders spins "Don't talk to me. Don't help me. I can do this on my own. Leave me alone."
Paige watches the girl retreat blinking in shock, What just happened?
Paige pushes aside the spat with Anders paying special attention during the next week. Filling her notebook with all of the techniques she learns with Rifle Fighting, CBRNE training, hand signals and praying she never comes across tear gas again without the proper gear.
This is the week Paige is glad she is a semi good artist while she draws the positions. The twenty pages of this section filled with more sketches then words, it actually started to look like a comic book for a second.
Paige picks up the hand signals quickly, thanks to all the cop shows she used to watch with her dad.
The Rifle Fighting was actually kind of fun, intense but fun, Paige knew not tell anyone this. Giving her a chance to work out some aggression, without making the others think she is psycho.
CBRNE was the most interestingly terrifying thing Paige had ever learned. There are so many dangerous chemicals out there, it's insane. She's kind of glad she learned how to counter them, but really hopes she doesn't have to do this out of Basic Training.
Her BMT portraits are terrible, though she is told she looks good in them. This is the moment she is pretty sure most of her fellow trainees are blind or mentally ill.
The next week makes Paige regret enlisting. There is a reason it is called BEAST week and it's not just because of what the letters stand for. It's because it is, well, a beast to complete.
This is the moment she is thankful to know Wayne Fields, having gotten his letter at the very beginning of the week. This is what pushes her through, she couldn't have him show up for nothing. So she puts her head down, not literally, making and destroying three new breaking points.
Paige earns her Small Arms Expert Ribbon for hitting the targets every time at all distances, much to her surprise, she thought she missed a bunch of times on the last two distances.
For the second week in a row her notebook is filled with sketches instead of words as she draws techniques she learns for combat. It doesn't get comic book-y though because the sketches are more spread out.
She is also glad she has learned good teamwork skills as they are needed in most tasks, you fail or pass as a whole.
At the end of the week she gets her dog tags.
Paige starts to freak out a little as she is told of the difficulties she will go through once returning from deployment.
She is kind of glad she doesn't really like the taste of alcohol, and was turned off from it at her first university party when she got so sick from the amount she drank.
Her heart clenches at the talks of family issues, does Wayne experience these issues when he comes home? Maybe it's good her parents ran like she was an inferno that could destroy them.
She can feel the anxiety starting to build at the very thought of struggling with finances, she likes having savings for a rainy day. More and more she starts to regret her decision to enlist.
Maybe she should have tried a little harder to find a different university. There are more then six universities in the country. After the sixth rejection: UCLA, Columbia, MIT, Brown, NYU and Boston, Paige had given up hope. Her last chance was the Air Force. Fear filled Paige when she got the acceptance letter, she actually prayed it would be another rejection, but it was something so she followed through. Now here Paige was a week shy of graduating.
Paige finishes the final fitness tests a Warhawk (Highest Standards) in all the fields. Finishing the one and a half mile run in ten minutes fifty two seconds (three seconds before required), fifty pushups (ten more then required), sixty eight sit ups (eight more then required), and ten pull ups (five more then required).
The final exam proves difficult but Paige makes it through with a ninety two, honours, which doesn't surprise anyone. Paige however is surprised and reminded of how alone she is when there is no one to tell. This leads her to write her final letter to Emily, of course this doesn't get sent either. As well as one to Wayne, even though he told her it wasn't necessary, this one she would give in person when she sees him. She had written and thrown out ten drafts already.
Paige is surprised Wayne actually made it, with his wife. He had said he would come but Paige was used to being disappointed by false promises. Her father did it all the time, promising to be at a swim meet, game or play, the plays being from elementary school which she was forced to be in. Then again Wayne wasn't her father, he was Emily's. The girl who still owned her heart despite being broken up for almost two years.
Emily always spoke highly of her father. How much he loved both her and her mother. How supportive he was when she told him she was gay. How brave and strong he was, he had to be to be in the army. Wayne was Emily's hero and rightfully so, the man was nothing but good. Even if he had made some mistakes they made him who he was today. That was someone who was there for a child that was not his own, just a friend of his daughters. If Wayne does this for Paige she knows he would bring down the moon and the stars for Emily, to make her happy.
In the seats Paige hears a couple of her fellow trainees antagonizing Anders, saying she shouldn't be graduating. The reason she was graduating being because the others carried her.
Paige leans forward "Shut up. Why can't you just enjoy the graduation? Anders did great, she deserves to be here with the rest of us."
Anders turns to Paige "Thank you."
Paige nods leaning back in her spot. When Paige is called to come forward to get her Airman's patch she hears the biggest whoop that both embarrasses her and fills her heart with so much pride.
On the way back to collect her things from the dorm Paige sees smoke. As she gets closer she sees flames flickering through the windows. Paige runs forward into the building dragging out two, she recognized as the two degrading Anders earlier, then going in for a third, this one had given Anders a hard time during beast week and snickered at the first two during graduation. Paige sees a flash of red hair as she is taking the third one out, Anders.
Paige does what is required to move past the fire, therapy. Turns out Anders didn't take the teasing lightly and ended her life, taking out four of the loudest abusers. The three Paige had pulled out of the fire were in her Beast group and almost failed.
Paige thinks she does well until the last of the four sessions. In this session Paige is left in the room alone with a razor blade. The therapist knows Paige has a history of self harm. This was a test. Paige knew it but deep in the recesses of her mind that didn't matter. The razor was calling to her. Paige reaches for the razor then jerks away shaking her head, You are past this Paige. The events of the past seven weeks flood her mind, a feeling of loneliness filling her heart. Paige reaches forward again yanking her hand away, It's not worth it. You are better then this.
In a room, where the therapist, main instructor and a colonel in the Air Force are watching from behind a one way mirror.
The therapist shakes her head "She is not fit to serve. I mean physically she is fit but mentally when something worse then this happens out there it could lead her to snap."
The colonel clicks his tongue "It's to bad. She was one of the best recruits in a while. With what she has done, saving those three men, she deserves to be honourably discharged. What about the three?"
The therapist nods "They are good to go."
The colonel smiles "Good. I'll draw up McCullers' discharge papers myself." Turning to the instructor he demands "Put those three in there first chosen paths, they deserve it."
The instructor nods "Yes sir."
The colonel walks away shaking his head, What a loss the Air Force has just taken. McCullers could have been great.
Back in the hospital Paige's body lifts off the bed then drops back down. The line on her heart monitor straightening.
Wayne stands up rushing to the bed "No, no," running to the door Wayne yells down the hall "Help. I need help in here."
A nurse runs in "What's the problem?"
Wayne doubles back in shock, Seriously? You can't here that incessant screeching of the heart monitor. Wayne points "Paige is flat lining."
The nurse runs to the button behind the bed hitting the one that signifies a flat line then gets the crash cart. Two nurses and a doctor run in the room. One of the nurses puts down Paige's bed so she lies flat, the other taking the pillow away.
The doctor grabs the paddles "Charge to one hundred. Clear." When Paige's heart rate doesn't return the doctor orders "Charge to two hundred. Clear." Paige still doesn't respond, the doctor orders "Charge to three hundred. Clear." Yet again Paige's heart doesn't respond.
Wayne pleas "Come on Paige come back. I promised my girls I wouldn't come back without you. I really don't want it to be in a coffin. Come back kiddo."
The doctor tries one last time with no response from Paige. Backing away the doctor looks at the clock opening his mouth to speak, Wayne knows it's to issue time of death.
A brown dog walks into the room heading straight to Paige.
The doctor looks at the dog "What's that doing in here? Get that dog out of here."
The dog stands at Paige's head barking once. Paige jumps her heart beginning to race, after a minute it finds a normal pace.
A woman in a Volunteer vest comes running in "I am so sorry. He is in training as a therapy dog, this is his second time here."
The woman grabs the dogs leash "Come on Brooks."
The dog fights against the woman pulling at him. When the dog is out of the room Paige flat lines again. The dog breaks free of the volunteer running back to Paige barking once. When that doesn't bring Paige back the dog nips at Paige's finger. Paige's hand jerks away her heart rate returning to normal.
The doctor looks at the dog then Paige "Looks like my patient needs a little therapy from this dog. Can he stay until my patient is more stable?"
Another woman appears at the door "Yes he can. Honestly this is the longest he's stayed in a patients room."
The dog licks Paige's hand then lies beside her bed out of the way of the doctors and nurses his eyes never leaving Paige.
Paige stirs groaning softly her ears filled with various sounds. The pain in her side had stopped. Blinking her eyes open she looks around finding herself in a white room, Where am I? How did I get here?
A relieved "You're awake," catches Paige's attention.
Paige turns to see Wayne Fields who explains "You're in a hospital."
Paige starts to struggle the wires connecting her to the machines and IV straining against her movements, No. I don't want to be here. Let me go. I hate hospitals.
Wayne soothes "Hey, hey it's okay. Relax Paige you're going to pull out your IV and stitches."
Paige stops moving looking at him she taps the tube in her mouth.
Wayne explains "You weren't breathing on your own. Shrapnel hit you in the chest puncturing a lung, you were also hit in your left leg and your lower right side. You needed to get your appendix taken out."
Paige goes to pull out the tube, a nurse stops her "Whoa there. It's helping you breathe."
Paige glares at the nurse, a doctor walks in "Alright stop trying to kill my nurse with your eyes. You ready for that to come out?"
Paige nods slightly.
The doctor looks at her "Alright. I am going to pull the tube out I need you to exhale as I do."
The doctor pulls out the tube Paige coughs gasping for breath. Wayne holds a glass of water to Paige's lips watching her take a sip then lean away.
The doctor informs "Try not to speak for now," handing her a notepad and pen he tells her "You can write your questions on this until you're throat has recovered."
Paige writes "When can I leave? I really don't like hospitals."
The doctor smiles "I gathered you didn't like hospitals when you woke a few days after coming and tore out your stitches, IV and disconnected your breathing tube. We had to put you in a medically induced coma. As for when you can leave there is still a lot of recovering you need to do. You flat lined twice yesterday."
Paige writes "Why?"
The doctor sighs "I don't know. You are quite the conundrum. Everything is healing as it should. Your heart rate is strong one minute then plummeting to a stop the next."
Paige raises an eyebrow the doctor not needing a further explanation "I don't know why that is happening either. That's why you're a puzzle Miss McCullers."
Paige notices the dog at her bedside writing "Who's that?"
The doctor looks down at the dog "He's helping me with the fight to bring you back from a flat line."
Paige's head tilts back moments before a seizure possesses her when it stops she flat lines. The nurse runs to the crash cart bringing it to Paige's bedside.
Wayne groans "Not again," stepping back and letting the doctors and nurse do their job.
When the doctor steps away the dog walks up barking in Paige's ear. The doctor shakes his head stepping further back allowing the dog to nip at Paige's finger. When that doesn't work the dog goes back to the head of the bed putting all he has into two barks, Paige jumps her heart racing then slowing to a normal rhythm.
Wayne pats the dog's head "Good boy. Thank you."
Wayne is sleeping in a chair a few feet from Paige's bed when he wakes to "No. Get away from there. Bad dog."
Wayne opens his eyes to see the dog pulling the crash cart towards Paige's bed only to have the nurse put it back in the corner. The dog once again starts pulling the crash cart back towards Paige, the nurse moving to put it back only to be stopped by Paige's heart monitor going off. The dog looks at the nurse barking at her. Another nurse and a doctor run into the room just as the first nurse is putting the crash cart beside the bed.
Wayne and the dog watch as Paige is shocked three times with no response.
The doctor, who had seen the dog bring Paige back both times, looks at him "Well our technique isn't working. Want to try yours?"
The dog trots to Paige's side barking in her ear, when that doesn't work the dog goes to Paige's hand nudging it with his nose then giving one finger a nip. The dog walks back to Paige's head barking twice. Paige jumps her heart racing then returning to normal.
The dog snorts what Wayne and the others take as a 'Stay' command.
The dog walks to Wayne gently tugging on his sleeve. Wayne stands moving his chair beside Paige's bed where he gets a 'Stay' snort.
Wayne pats the dogs head "I will."
Patting his lap Wayne moves his hands in time for the dog to jump on his lap. Leaning forward the dog gives Paige's cheek a lick.
Wayne lifts himself and the dog kissing Paige's temple "Stay with me Paige. You are still needed down here."
The dog barks his agreement then lies on Wayne's lap putting his head on Wayne's hand. Wayne puts his free hand on the dog's head.
Wayne stares at the number on his phone. He had programmed the number into his phone the moment he found out Paige had enlisted. The last time he talked to them, well Wayne talked to him, it didn't go well. Wayne hits the call button closing his eyes as the phone rings.
Finally Wayne is greeted with a gruff "Hello."
Wayne sighs "Hello Nicholas."
Nick groans "What did Paige do now?"
Wayne rolls his eyes, What a father, "She's fighting for her life."
Wayne is greeted by silence "Hello? Are you still there?"
Nick clears his throat "Yes. What did you want me to do here Wayne? Fly to wherever you are..."
Wayne interrupts "New York, we are in New York."
Nick growls "Do not interrupt me. I am not going to watch Paige die."
A female voice gasps "What? Paige is dying. Where is she? Give me the phone."
Wayne is greeted by a "Who is this?"
Wayne greets "Hello Lara, it's Wayne. I am in New York with Paige. She has flat lined six times already. The doctors don't know why. One minute Paige is fine the next she is flat lining."
Lara demands "Nick get us a flight to New York. Do not argue with me. I will go by myself if I have to. Paige will not be alone in this time."
Wayne hears Nick say "Paige isn't alone. Wayne is there."
Lara huffs "This is seriously how you act with this news. Why the hell am I having another child with you?"
Wayne enthuses "Wow congratulations."
Lara hums "Thank you Wayne. I will be there by the end of the day today. I can't speak for my insensitive husband."
Wayne takes a breath "Call me when you arrive I can pick you up at the airport."
Nick grumbles "I am not insensitive. I will be there too you are not going on a plane alone in your state."
Lara bites "I am four months pregnant not dying. Yikes now I sound insensitive, sorry."
Wayne sympathises "It's fine Lara. I know what you meant. I will see you tonight."
Lara whispers "See you."
Wayne hangs up the phone looking at Paige "Quite the parents you got there kiddo."
Paige looks around finding herself in a white room, a feeling of peace filling her body, This is not my hospital room.
A voice greets "Hello Paige."
Paige looks towards the voice "Grandpa Al. What are you doing here? Am I dead?"
The man shakes his head "No you're not dead. I got the feeling you needed a little pep talk. You have been here three times already. My stubborn girl."
Paige looks down shamefully.
The man laughs "Oh Paige don't do that. You're not in trouble. I am here to tell you it's not your time yet. There is still plenty for you to do and experience."
Paige sighs looking up at her grandpa "Alone?"
Al takes Paige's hand "You are not alone Paige. You haven't been this whole time."
Paige smiles softly "Wayne. He hasn't left my side. I also hear a dog barking quite often, demanding for me to come back. I think I was told to stay."
Al laughs again "That you were. I'm not surprised you can understand what he wants. You always have been good with animals."
A voice from behind Paige asks "Where do you think you're going? We aren't done yet. You aren't done yet. Get back here."
Paige turns around her eyes landing on Emily, What is she doing here?
Al explains "You're connection with her is strong. She is worried about you so you met here. You better listen Paige. You already know she is a force to be reckoned with. She's quite the beauty too, you're lucky."
Paige turns to him "Emily's not mine anymore."
Al looks past Paige at Emily "I beg to defer kiddo. She is right you are not done yet, with her or your life. Go Paige."
Paige takes a step forward hugging her grandpa tightly "I miss you pop, pop."
Al returns the hug "I know kiddo. I love you."
Paige chokes "I love you too."
Emily calls out "Paige. It's time for you to come back. You can't stay here."
Paige breaks the hug "She's really demanding."
Al caresses Paige's cheek "That's what you need. Someone to keep you on your toes. She's good for you."
Paige smiles "Yeah she is. She makes me a better, stronger person."
Al nods "That's why she was sent to you kiddo. Believe me you do the same for her. I can see it."
Emily shouts a "Paige Ilyria Elizabeth McCullers."
Al hisses "Yikes. She's mad. You better get going
Paige turns to her "I'm coming," turning back to her grandpa she smiles sadly "Bye pops. Thank you."
Al wipes away Paige's tears "You're welcome sweetie. Go, Emily looks like she's about ready to chase you down and drag you back."
Paige turns back walking away from her grandpa and towards Emily.
Wayne looks at the watch on his wrist his thoughts interrupted by "Take it easy Wayne nothing happened to us. Please take me to my baby. I kept everything in a carry on so I didn't have to wait for luggage with Paige in her condition."
Wayne looks up "Hello Lara. How was the flight?"
Lara smiles "It was fine. Nicholas almost broke my hand with fear. He hates planes yet he chooses to relocate to an island."
Nick looks down "We are taking a cruise back."
Lara scoffs "Please. You're worse on a boat. I'd rather take a plane. Can we go to my daughter now? Please."
Wayne extends his hand for the McCullers' to walk ahead. Wayne explains that happened with Paige then the rest of the ride to the hospital is quiet.
While at the hospital Wayne leads Lara and Nick to the room with Nick hanging back and waiting outside.
Lara gasps "Oh my little girl. Look at you. You can't give up Paige. I know you're a fighter and you need to fight this. Your father and I are here. We will be here for you for whatever you need. I love you so much. Please stay strong."
Lara leans forward kissing Paige on the forehead "Come back to us Paige."
Lara walks out of the room staring down her husband "You get your ass in that room. That is your daughter in there. Do not let the last thing she remembers of you be you speeding away from her while she is at Stanford."
Nick puts his head down walking into the room. When his eyes land on Paige looking so small and fragile, tears burst from his eyes his hands landing on his mouth to stop the sob from escaping.
He slowly makes his way to the bed "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't love you. I do so much. You are my little girl. I will never stop loving you. I heard about Stanford and that you looked else where, unsuccessfully, before the Air Force took you. Tell me what you need and I will do it, anything. You have to stay. You have a little brother or sister to meet. Please don't give up my girl. Please."
Lara walks in the room "Feel better."
Nick wipes his tears "I'm supposed to be the strong one. I'm supposed to be the shoulder you cry on."
Lara wraps her arms around Nick "You can be the shoulder I cry on while you cry too. That's what a marriage is, we support each other. In sickness and in health, through the good times and the bad. This just happens to be a bad time."
Nick looks at Paige "She looks so small."
Lara burrows into her husband "I know. I can't imagine what Wayne has been through being here the whole time."
Nick sighs "It took him three months to call."
Lara rubs his shoulders "The conversation you two had didn't exactly end well Nick. He probably thought you could care less about Paige."
Nick reflects "I was such a jerk. I just, she didn't call. I screwed up so badly she felt like she couldn't call me, us. I could have helped her, we could have helped her."
Lara soothes "We still can Nick. She is going to make it. She is your daughter. No one is feistier then you."
Nick dips his head snorting softly. Lara wipes his tears kissing him on the forehead.
Emily wakes up sitting upright, Pam looks at her "You okay?"
Emily's eyes focus on her mother "Yeah. I just had this weird dream. I was in this white room. Paige was there talking to some man. I told her we weren't done yet, she wasn't done yet, and needed to come back."
Pam asks "Did she?"
Emily nods "Yeah. It took a few minutes. I felt like if she didn't come with me I would never see her again. I wasn't ready for that. If Paige didn't come back on her own I would have dragged her back."
Pam hums "Emily sweetie you can't hold people here. If it is there time you have to let them go."
Emily shakes her head "It's not her time yet mom. There is still so much for her to do."
Pam purses her lips "I hope so. Paige is much to young to leave us."
Emily curls herself up rocking softly "Dad will bring her back. He's staying with her to make sure she is okay, to bring her home."
Pam nods "That does sound like your father."
Emily plays with the hem of her shirt, Paige's 'Live to Ride, Ride to Live' muscle shirt. Emily had been looking for something that was, is, Paige's since her nightmare. She threw everything out of her closet until finally finding this at the back of it. She hasn't taken it off since, except to shower, on those occasions Pam would sneak in to put it in the wash. Emily would do the same with Pam and one of Wayne's shirts. When they were going out they would put a shirt over the one they had on so no one would notice it was practically embedded into them.
Pam takes in her daughters appearance putting her hand on Emily's "We will see them soon Emily."
Emily swallows the lump forming in her throat "I hope so."