Abby's Rant
Well, here I am again. Stuck playing the lovesick teenager while by actual teenage daughter is out trying to save the world. I am obviously proud of her, don't get me wrong, and I've had my fair share of adventures, but for some reason nobody actually sees me as a leader like they see Kane, Bellamy, and Clarke. I cannot fathom how people still listen to Jaha of all people and meanwhile I am shunted to the back of the medical bay the second anything interesting happens. I wonder why it is that being a brilliant doctor somehow means that you can't be a brilliant leader. I have to assume its because all the terrible leadership and being a mother to every sad teenager in a 500 metre radius keeps me too busy to do it.
On the one hand, I am so glad I found Marcus. I mean the kind, wonderful Marcus that thrives on the ground instead of jerk face Marcus that suffocated (literally!) us all on the Ark. I hate to be the one to bring it up, but its a bit of a a 180 degree turnaround. I mean, did you see him on the Ark? He was rude to absolutely everybody, including his own mother! All she wanted was for him to water a damn plant and it was too much for him, too demanding. It took her getting hit with the debris of a bomb in space and dying for him to realize that its not all about him all the goddamned time and what he thinks is right. The irony of that moment he discovered that being the exact same moment as it was all about him... well, Jackson and I have had a few chuckles about it, thats for sure.
Speaking of Jackson, I am clearly the closest thing he has to a parent. But on top of that, I seem to be the closest thing any of these kids have for a parent with maybe the exception of Miller and Octavia, and thats only because I hardly had any (screen?) time with her and Miller actually had a Dad. So, I assume I will need to step in with Miller gong forward, which is just awesome because I have soooo much free time. Let alone I barely have enough time to try to convince Skaikru from making another selfish decision and bleeding out, I also need to be a parent to:
- Clarke
- Bellamy
- Jackson
- Raven
- Murphy
... and thats just to name a few!
In terms of leadership, I am basically Hillary Clinton - obviously the most qualified for the job as I somehow have not only killed the least people (cough - Kane in space, Jaha with the City of Light) and I am brilliant, but does anybody care? Nope! Somehow my relationship with a man who I used to hate has become such a Pride and Prejudice plot point that Jaha, Kane, Bellamy and Clarke are in charge again and I just run around trying to hasten the healing of Kings, randoms from an oil rig, and whatever comes my way. THEN, finally, you tell me to "save the planet" so I do so, trying my best, only to violate my ethics in such a way that I don't feel I can go on, because I have changed, this world has changed me.
Speaking of which, obviously I knew I wasn't going to be put out in the cold from the bunker. You need me too much! Inevitably some grounder will stab another grounder and they'll have wished I was there to save them all. I was just trying to find my redemption. I wasn't exactlty going to bail on Clarke like that. Of course, it was a major guilt trip for Kane, but he had is coming. How many times did he try to abandon me for some greater good?
Of course, we will inevitably fight about this whole "saving me" thing. But I will actually resent him for denying me my big moment when I volunteer to leave the bunker and literally EVERYBODY stop me, begs me to stay, and then elects me as the Skaikru rep with Octavia. Too bad that I am going to be delegated to the medical bay, like always, while everybody else carries around a "World's Best Boss" mug. Cool.
Oh yeah, another thing. Being stuck in this bunker for 6 years? Separated from my daughter who I can only assume made it to space? Bull. shit. But, maybe if I'm lucky when we all get out, I'll have a granddaughter.