Sunny Daze Farm, Summer 3
The alarm went off, and Claire was out of bed. Mornings had never been her strong point when she'd lived in the city; even moving to Mineral Town, she'd had problems with them. Still, after so long, she'd become acclimated to the hours of a farmer. The third day of Summer, and there wasn't much to do. She could take care of the animals at her leisure, since the Harvest Sprites were watering her newly planted crops. Barely giving her husband a glance as he paced the rug around the table, she slipped outside and stretched in the dawn light. Taking a deep breath of the fresh, clean air had become an almost ritualistic practice.
Setting Thunder down, she took long, slow breaths. Needing them more than usual today, she usually took three but doubled that this morning. The dog ran off chasing a butterfly, yapping happily, and she smiled after him.
She'd been keeping the chickens outside; the fresh air was as good for them as it was for her, and they loved to be outdoors in nice weather. Bugs and seeds were a treat to their palettes over the corn she usually fed them indoors. Each of the 8 birds had its own personality and she loved them all, picking them up, stroking them, and moving them to a new part of the pen system she'd set up. This way they could all get new pastures every day, and they knew she loved them. Gathering their eggs, she ducked into the henhouse and processed them into mayonnaise, as the shipping price was better. Then she made her way back up to the cow barn.
The cows and her one sheep, like the chickens, were penned up near their quarters, and were quietly grazing in their larger pasture, mooing happily when she brushed them. The cows allowed her to milk them with typical bovine relief, but the sheep had been sheared only three days before. Taking the milk inside, she processed each cow's product into cheese, then put everything into the shipping bin. Coming back out, she saw the Harvest Sprites making fast work of the watering.
Her last stop on the farm was at the small stable. Setting foot inside, she whistled shrilly. The bay stallion trotted up to her, whickering with pleasure at her presence. She gave him a good rubdown and mounted up; he'd been a faithful and loving steed for years, winning many races and working hard for her. Sometimes she thought about retiring him to stud, but he still had too much energy to enjoy the quiet life.
Three times they circled the farm's boundaries, along the fence to the north and east, down along the river to the south, then back up around the west side, sometimes right through the fenced off area where the chickens clucked their indignation at the intrusion. Running on Lightning always made her feel better; something about the air in her hair and the musculature of the horse moving beneath her soothed even her most frayed nerve. At last she let him slow and wished once again that she could take him into town. As it was, she dismounted at the gate and sent the horse off with a gentle slap.
She jogged up the road; jogging always made her feel like she was getting somewhere. Heading past the Poultry Farm and Barley's small stead, she hoped it wasn't late enough for the Gossip Gaggle to be gathered in Rose Square. It wasn't a charitable nickname for the small group of women, but then, neither was most of the gossip they fostered.
To Claire's relief, the square was empty as she crossed it on her way to the beach. She could as easily have teleported in, but the walk was invigorating, and besides. It heightened her color a little.
Coming down the steps to the beach, she spotted some grass growing in its usual spot. Plucking the purple-hued wild plant, she packed all she could find in her rucksack before turning to the north end of the beach, and Kai's venture.
He waved in greeting. She waved back, jogging up through the sand.
"Hey, Kai! How's it going?"
Kai tried to look nonchalant as usual, replying as he always did. "Marriage is not always easy. Don't you agree?" She could only nod. If only he knew! But then, maybe he did...
"There` will be lots of things between you and me, but we'll be fine." There was something in his expression that pushed the statement into an awkward moment for her.
"Kai... You say that. But... I have to ask." Claire suddenly felt shy, and looked off towards the sea, where the waves lapped gently against the pale sand. "What... What do you mean by it?"
Kai blinked. "Huh?"
This was going to be harder than she thought. "When you say things like that... I mean... It's no secret to anyone that your marriage to Popuri is... err.. less than ideal..." Now it was impossible to look at him. "And... Are you just saying that? Or do you... Y'know... Mean... Something... By it...?"
Kai raised a curious eyebrow. "Umm.. Claire... I can't hear you when you mumble like that."
The blonde hadn't realized she was mumbling, and her face burned hotter. "Are you saying you want to.."
"I want to hook up with you." Kai said. There was a very long pause, as Claire's face flamed, and for some reason her heart pounded in her throat. "Is that what you're asking if I'm asking?"
She could only nod. For a long moment, he'd let her think that was exactly it. Suddenly it hit her: the little sadist was enjoying watching her squirm!
"You're really hot when you're embarrassed, you know," he said wryly.
Her eye began twitching, and she could feel the vein beginning to pop out on her forehead. Her embarrassment was quickly turning to anger. "You know, Kai, if that was what you wanted, you should have just said so."
"Why? What reason did you give me to think that you'd consider it?" His tone was still that cool, teasing lilt. She refused to look at him, so she missed the nervousness in his eyes.
"I didn't. We're both married, Kai, and just because our marriages aren't what we'd hoped they'd be doesn't mean I'd just jump into your bed because it was there!" Her voice tight with anger, she refused to look at him. He, meanwhile, maintained his relaxed pose as he sat on the bench, but every muscle was trembling with his own unease. DID he mean what he said? What he implied? What if he did? And what if... What if she said yes!
The thought was too much to contemplate all of a sudden. A wave of relief swept over him as the time came to open for lunch and he could hide behind the counter, busying himself with the familiar tasks of operating his barely operational business. He gave a weak half wave as he beat a hasty retreat.
Claire walked stiffly to the end of the pier, raised her eyes to the heavens and screamed, long and loud. If only there were somewhere she could go, to get away from this madness! Her discussion with Gotz about a trip to Forget-Me-Not Valley sounded more and more tempting by the minute.
Zack poked his head out of his house. "Hey, Claire, everything okay? I heard someone screaming," he said cautiously.
Nodding, the blonde turned towards the burly shipping master. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little... frustrated, at the moment," she said with no little embarrassment. "Have you ever heard of primal scream therapy?"
Zack nodded and grinned. "Yeah. Great stuff. I usually do mine from the top of Mother's Peak. Late at night." Now it was his turn to look embarrassed. "I think for a while people thought I was some kind of wild beast." He blushed.
Claire giggled. "Maybe they'll think there are two, now, if you don't mind my borrowing your spot."
Zack shrugged. "Okay by me. Hey, maybe we'll go together sometime. I've heard it's more relaxing if you go with someone else."
Claire nodded. "I used to be part of a group, back in the City," she said. "We had a soundproof room and everything, and we'd all take turns just screaming in each other's faces. Even on the worst days, we would all end up laughing," she added with no small nostalgia.
"That does sound like fun," the tall guy answered. "Anyway, how's the farm?"
"The farm is the one thing that's not driving me utterly up the wall," she answered wryly.
"Gotcha. If you're okay then...?"
Claire nodded. "Sorry again. Please apologize to Won for me as well."
Zack agreed and withdrew his head back into his house.
Another heavy sigh escaped the blonde farmer's lips as she turned back towards Rose Square and the Church. Maybe a few minutes of peace in its confines would be what she needed for the moment... Desperation was beginning to color her thoughts. Another unchanging summer. Nothing new ever happened anymore. Nothing exciting ever happened, EVER. Rick never wondered why, one day a year, she made twice as much on all her produce as she did on any other day. Her child would never even speak a full sentence, trapped forever in unchanging childhood. Stupid fluke of genetics that had made her thus...
Sitting in a pew in the mercifully empty building, Claire lay her head down and cried.
~Claire... Claire?~ The voice was soft, feminine, and familiar. It seemed to come from all around, inside her head and out, rather than through her ears. ~Claire, why are you crying?~
"Ha... Harvest Goddess? Is... is that... You?" Fear and awe warred with doubt in the young farmer's heart. The Goddess NEVER appeared away from her pond... Except for the occasional wedding.
~Tadaaaaa! Yes, it's me!~ The form of a voluptuous, green haired woman came into being in a flash of brilliant white light. ~You're the only one who's made offerings in such a long time. Even Carter stopped, when he realized that he really isn't needed here. It makes him sad,~ the Goddess mused. ~But I'm not here for Carter, even if he is supposed to be my priest, and this is my Church. No, Claire,~ she smiled at the bewildered young woman's expression. ~I'm here for you.~
"For... me?" Confusion dominated in Claire's heart, but the fear hadn't gone - and was now taking a very different turn. "But... But I'm... I... But..."
Merry laughter interrupted her stammering attempt at a protest. ~Oh, not like that, don't you worry. I'm not demanding that you take up a life of chastity and become my priestess like Carter became my priest. Silly boy doesn't realize he's doing it half wrong anyway. I'm also a fertility goddess, you know.~ The divine visitor giggled. ~I encourage my priesthood to wed and bear families. Big ones! And I'm not here to take you to the next life, either. Stop fretting.~
Claire could do nothing but flap her mouth like a fish out of water, which was rather apt considering that was how she felt. "I.. uuh... mm... okay.. But then why..."
~Am I here? Well,~ the goddess projected, adopting a lotus position as she floated midair. Claire's mind refused to try to grapple with that. ~It's very rare that someone normally so devoted to me is so unhappy. I heard your cries and I decided to see if I could help.~
Claire sighed again. "Well, unless you can make my child grow up, make my husband grow up, and make something HAPPEN around here other than the occasional storm... I'm not keen on being shut in, or I'd've stayed in the city." She was unable to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Nothing changes. Nothing happens. Once I got married, and everyone else got married, that's it. Sometimes I think I'd've been better staying in the city, or being dead, or something!"
~Hmmm. Well...~ Suddenly Claire felt woozy, as if she'd been working too hard. The room swayed, and the Goddess' face hovered over hers. Reality flickered and went dark.
Her arm flailed to stop the incessant buzzing of her alarm. "Why," she moaned, as the snooze button refused to work. The jarring, aggravated giant cricket noise it made was not going to stop until she actually turned it off with that tiny little annoying switch in the back. Claire rolled over in the small bed and sat up, rubbing her eyes blearily. "Why why why why why..." Standing, she made her way across the hall to the tiny bathroom of her apartment. The reflection that glared sullenly back at her was not a pretty one. Faded blonde hair framed a face that was showing its age. Bitterness and cigarettes colored her features with a sickly yellowish brown hue. In her forties, Claire was miserable.
Showering and dressing didn't take long; she didn't have many clothes and she no longer bothered to keep them as neat as she had in her seemingly distant youth. As she did every morning, she wished she'd told that Thomas person she'd take the damned farm. As it was...
Waiting for the train was always unpleasant at best, but this morning wasn't one of those. Delays once again clogged the terminal, the hot summer morning made even worse by the stink of sweat and urine and rotting garbage. When the train finally came, there was barely room to get in, and being squashed like a runt sardine had never pleased Claire much, but if she didn't get this train, she'd be officially late for work.
It wasn't that she cared about the job. Working as a secretary for a questionable law firm in a bad neighborhood was pretty much a dead-end job and had been for the two decades she'd held it. The office itself was dingy, ill-lit and not very clean, in the basement of a warehouse. There was one bathroom for the three lawyers, 2 paralegals, and six clerical staffers the small office housed. There were eight desks, and they were practically on top of each other. Files were kept anywhere they fit. They had file cabinets lining the hallway.
No one liked each other very much in the office, and Claire doubted any of her colleagues (herself included) very much liked themselves.
Coming home from work was almost as much of a thrill as getting there, save that the small basement apartment had room enough for Claire and her very meagre possessions. Barely. And she didn't have much. She made ends meet, and that was all. Her nights were spent alone in front of the same TV shows she always watched. She had every bad episode memorized.
"Why did I say no," she moaned every night as she lay in bed, waiting for sleep to come.
Her arm flailed to stop the incessant buzzing of her alarm. "Why," she moaned, as the snooze button refused to work. The jarring, aggravated giant cricket noise it made was not going to stop until she actually turned it off with that tiny little annoying switch in the back. Claire rolled over in the small bed and sat up, rubbing her eyes blearily. "Why why why why why..."
Every day started the same. Every day was unchanging; the only differences were from where she ordered an overpriced but cheap dinner, and the idiots who called her office in what seemed to her to be a competition for Most Obnoxious, Stupid, Useless, and Time Wasting Question. When she'd decided not to work that farm in Mineral Town, she'd floated around from job to job for a few years, each one more unsatisfying than the last.
"Why didn't I take that farm?" she would muse bitterly at her aging reflection every day.
But then something clicked inside her head.
"Wait. I... This isn't right," she told herself, staring more intently at the mirror. "Is it? I... It seems like I remember... But that's not possible," she said, dismissing the thought. And so began another depressing day in the life of Claire.
Still, all through the day she had a niggling little thought in the back of her mind. It escaped her constantly, but some undefinable feeling dodged around the edges of her thoughts whenever she contemplated the other life she COULD have had, as she so often did.
Lying down in bed that night, she tried something she hadn't in years. Closing her eyes, lying flat on her back on the floor instead of her lumpy little bed, she took slow, deep breaths. Concentrated on clearing her mind. Felt the old comfort of weightlessness begin to free her from her more mundane concerns.
And snapped right back into awareness as her back spasmed violently. "Oh yeah... That's why I stopped meditating," Claire groaned to herself as she curled up in the fetal position.
Too exhausted to move and in too much pain to sleep right away, she stared at the dingy, yellowed walls of her cramped apartment. "This is not my life... Please, someone tell me this is not my life..."
It must have been hours before she finally fell asleep.
~It could have been,~ an oddly familiar voice pierced her dreams.
..."Dream...?" Claire woke slowly, surprised to find her back didn't hurt, nor was she on the floor of a drafty little apartment of the city. No... She was...
"In Church! But... How long...?"
~Only about no time at all, really,~ the Harvest Goddess said. No longer smiling, she levitated in front of Claire as the farmer sat up. ~If you are so dissatisfied with your life in Mineral Town, you could easily have your life in the city back,~ she continued brusquely.
Claire shook her head violently. "I don't want that. You know I don't want that. I'm not unhappy here. I just wish there was a little more... HAPPENING! For Your sake, Harvest Goddess, I'm the only one of the five couples in my age bracket who's even had a child... Nothing changes here, and I was never a good one for too much stability," Claire admitted shamefacedly.
~Which is why you made a good farmer from the beginning. Farmers must adapt on a daily basis to things like the weather and their crops. They must take into account expenses versus potential profit. There is so much to learn, and you took to it as a strawberry to rain.~ The goddess smiled once more. ~You have free will, Claire. You can make things happen. All I ask is that you not disrupt things too fiercely, else you will be unable to set them to rights again...~ And so saying, with a flash of lightning, the Harvest Goddess vanished.
"Holy Alexandrite," Claire murmured. "Is she TELLING me I should have an affair?"