Getting Fired Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me. Eventually.

MaturePopcorn

Description:

Shadow despises his job and everything about it. Though a hard alcoholic for many years, his drinking has significantly picked up recently. Once fired for drinking on the job, the heavy alcoholism continues, somehow even stronger, ultimately leading to trouble. Through his journey of recovery, he changes his outlook on life and incredible things begin to happen. Drama and angst, this is the most mature fanfiction I've ever written, about the struggles of alcoholism and recovery; it is meant for older viewers.

Warning:

Again, still graphic. Was that last chapter bad? It only gets worse.

Author's Note I:

Thank you all for your kind words in the reviews and even more so in the PM's, I don't think my PM box has ever been that full. I will reply to each and every one as they come in as soon as I see them. Your continued support means the world to me, it really does. Again, I'm always here for advice or just to listen; community is vitally important.

P.S. In this story, they wear clothes and full outfits; they aren't just naked like in the games and anime lmao I promise.

~Hannah~

Chapter 002

"You…" Tails breathed out but one word, then grew speechless. The fox was flooded with emotions. He had never been confessed to before, and by Shadow of all people?

Shadows' eyes continued to bore into Tails'. Now, having shared everything he could possibly share, his deepest secrets and hardest truths, his eyes grew cloudy with grief and concern. Then they grew hard with emotionlessness. The hedgehog looked away. The orange fox opened his mouth, seeming to find his words, but was immediately cut off by Shadow, who spoke softly, "Forget it."

Despite everything, all the hardship and pain, Tails laughed. It was an uncomfortable laugh, one where you don't know what else to do and you want to run but you can't. He stopped abruptly and squeezed Shadows' hand and, in a serious tone, responded, "Um, no." Shadow glared at this; behind the anger in his eyes, the fox detected a distinct self-loathing as well as an abundance of fear, and… Something a little sadder… He shook his head and continued, "With all due respect, Shadow, a bombshell like that isn't simply just 'forgotten'." The hedgehog opened his mouth for a retort but was this time cut off by Tails, who continued, "That being said," before hesitating; the fox wanted to choose his next few words carefully. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he finished his sentiment, "I will always love you."

Shadow was bewildered. "You… love me?"

Tails smiled softly. "Of course," he said, before realizing the implications of the situation. His eyes widened in surprise, though he tried and failed to cover it up, and he hastily added, "Platonically."

All that escaped Shadows' mouth was a soft, "Oh," before he closed his eyes and took a very shaky breath. He had let himself get his hopes up for absolutely no reason; of course it had backfired and hurt him. "He loves me… Platonically…" The hedgehogs' head spun, his heart beating heavily. He uncoupled his hands and opened his eyes, glazing them over with a false sense of apathy. He had bared his soul to Tails today, and it was time to be emotionless again.

Tails saw this and sighed. He looked on at his friend sadly, wishing he could do or say more, thinking, "I can't change my feelings; it's not my fault."

Shadow happened to glance over and regretted it immediately. The look in the foxes' eyes, to him, was viewed as a clear sign of pity. Fresh out of tears and now angry, Shadow growled, "I never should have told any of my secrets. Not to you, anyway." He paused for a moment, and his eye twitched. Muttering too low for Tails to hear, he jabbed, "Look at me with pity, at least I'm not a fucking alcoholic," before continuing louder, "Get out."

Tails' made no movement at first; the two stared at each other for what felt to Shadow like an eternity. He looked over at the door and said, "No."

Shadows' eyes flashed a warning at his friend. "Excuse me?" he said, raising his voice in anger. Both bewildered and on the verge of fury, he shut all reason out of his brain and began to shout, "Out. Now. Get the fuck out of my room!"

As Shadows' voice echoed off the walls of the hospital room, there came a gentle yet firm reply, "What are you gonna do, make me?"

Shadow fell silent at this, deflating a bit. Truthfully, there wasn't much he could do; his whole body was broken and simply sneezing sent searing pain though him.

Allowing reason to return to him, he wasn't fully sure he even wanted Tails to leave. The fox had changed fairly drastically in the past few days since Shadow had seen him last, and he seemed to stand up for himself more, carrying a bit more confidence. He weighed his options in his mind quickly.

First, Tails was arguably the closest person to him at the moment; even before the crash, the fox had been by his side a lot more lately. Then there was the fact that Shadow did love him; even if his feelings weren't reciprocated, Tails did love him in a different way. His heart even fluttered a little at the thought of this.

On the other hand, however, there was his pride. Something deep inside him kept the hedgehog from growing too close to anyone, least of all the ones he loved.

Shadow glanced down at the covers, eyes glazed over and narrowed. He had come too far in his conviction now; hedgehogs weren't quitters, and he especially didn't give in to anyone. He took a deep readying breath and, before Tails could say another word, ignored the searing pain that was sent down his chest and right leg and reached up, pressing the red button. This earned both a whimper of defeat from Tails as well as a grunt of victory from Shadow.

"Please…" Tails began, "Don't push me away…"

"Leave," was the only response he got.

Tails stood up slowly, refusing to make eye contact. "I'm not giving up on you. Ever," he declared. "No matter how much you complain or push, I will be there for you through it all."

Shadow repeated himself even louder, "Leave!"

Tails finally snapped at this. "I have stood by your side through all your crap, Shadow. Do I mean nothing to you?" he snarled, continuing, "Or do you not really love me?"

The hedgehogs' voice faltered, responding, "How dare you use that against me." Shadow then screamed, "I never want to see you again!"

"Maybe you never will." With that he grabbed his things and walked through the door. He paused at the threshold and turned his head to give Shadow a passing glance. His last words were a soft and barely audible, "I didn't mean that." Then, passing Kelly on the way out, he began to sniffle.

The nurse looked at Shadow quizzically. "Is everything alright? He looked like he was crying." She seemed to have not heard anything. Before Shadow could answer, she continued, "I was actually on my way in anyway; this is my weekend, Shadow. I'm leaving for the next two days. But I'd like to introduce you to your new nurse."

As if on cue, a tall and somewhat intimidating bearded man walked in slowly, as though he were calculating each step. His eyes were perpetually half closed, and when he spoke, his words came out monotone. "I am your nurse, yes, every 12 hours for the next five days. I am also this floors' resident psychiatrist, and I will be prescribing you Librium. It helps with alcohol withdrawal symptoms as well as is a seizure preventative," he stated in a thick German accent. Continuing, he said next, "I am also prescribing and administering upon your request Valium. Take it as needed, no more than once every six hours. My name," he tacked on, pointing to his nametag, "is Philip. Call me if you need anything."

Shadow nodded and matched his new nurses' monotone voice, saying only, "Alright."

Kelly nodded as well but said nothing. Waving, she turned and left the room leaving Philip alone with the broken hedgehog. The tall German man walked over to the window and looked out over the city. A few moments passed in silence before he said to Shadow, "You have a lovely view of the city. Did you know we are on the 18th floor?"

Shadow scoffed. "What a coincidence. I used to work in that building right there," he said, gently gesturing to the bank with his right hand, adding, "on the 18th floor."

Philip smiled. "The world is full of coincidences, but nothing happens without reason."

Shadow internally groaned. He hadn't'd expected his nurse to be spiritual; he himself was fairly agnostic, despite his upbringing, and disliked overly religious people. The hedgehog believed they needed to "stay in their lane". Not knowing what to say in response, he hesitated before asking, "What, exactly, is Valium?"

Philip dropped his smile and returned to his professional demeanor at once. He answered, "Valium is a very strong pain reliever. You broke a lot of your body and I recommend taking something to relieve yourself of the discomfort."

Shadow sighed in relief. "At last, something to stop this constant throbbing." He grinned. "Yeah, I'll take some of that. When can you get it?"

The man replied, "I have it here with me; I will start you off with one 2mg tablet."

Shadow glanced from the window back to the man, a certain wariness in his eyes. "That doesn't sound like a lot," he voiced.

"I can assure you it is," Philip poured the bottle out into his hand and separated one pill from the rest, handing it to Shadow. He couldn't explain it in the moment, but something primal washed over the hedgehog; everything in his body told him to grab the psychiatrists hand, take the pills, and down them all. He ignored this feeling as best he could as he watched Philip dump the remaining pills back into the bottle, return the lid to the top, and slip it all into his lab jacket's left pocket.

Grabbing the cup of water by his bed, he took the small, greyish, and circular tablet in one easy gulp. Philip nodded and said, "Good. Now, I have other patients to attend to; press the button if you need anything."

Shadow had concerns about whether he would be able to press the button again considering how much it had hurt the first time, but he simply replied, "Okay. Thank you," before slowly grabbing the TV remote on his bedside table and turning on the TV.

A few minutes passed as the hedgehog flipped through channels, finding nothing he liked. Finally, he gave up and settled for Jeopardy! and leaned back with a sigh. He missed Tails' company, though he would never admit it to anyone. The first episode came and went, then the second, and after a while, he noticed his arm began to hurt less. He narrowed his eyes. Testing his body out, he moved his left leg. No pain. Then he tried to move his right leg, the one he had broken in several places, and to his surprise, he felt a small, dull pain; nothing at all like what he had been experiencing the last few hours. He lifted his left arm, and again, the pain he felt was dull and minimal. He grinned widely, overjoyed. "Maybe these broken bones won't be so bad; they'll be healed before I know it with pain meds like these." Shadow then raised his right arm and pressed the red button, feeling no pain at all save for his ribs, though again, it was highly diminished.

About a minute and a half later, Philip came back into the room. He spoke quickly, "Yes, Shadow, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if I could get more Valium."

Philip narrowed his eyes. "I believe I already told you, no more than every six hours, Shadow." He removed his glasses from his face and wiped them on his shirt, adding bluntly, "Is that all? I have more patients in worse distress than you."

The hedgehog hesitated before, thinking fast, he asked, "Can I get some coffee then?" For some unknown reason, he added, "Cream and sugar, please."

The nurse nodded, responding, "It may take a few minutes, but yes. Coffee I can do." Turning, he left the room again, leaving Shadow to think for a precious few minutes. Thinking back to his primal instinct from about an hour before, he decided he didn't want to wait five more hours for more of the drug. He had to come up with a plan fast, and he was glad he had asked for cream and sugar.

Thinking fast, he came across one. Though it would be risky, he figured not much worse could happen to him; he was already in the hospital. It was worth a shot. He first turned the TV as loud as seemed reasonable. He then waited until he heard Philip's distinctly heavier footsteps come down the hall towards his room to slide his body to the left, as close to the bed tray as possible. As the nurse came in the room, he positioned himself just right while looking as naturally as possible.

Philip walked over and set the coffee on the tray. In the two seconds it took to set down the cup, the cream and the sugar, Shadow quickly and silently slipped his broken hand into the left pocket of Philips' jacket pocket. His heart practically beating out of his chest, the hedgehog then slid the bottle out as quietly as he could, fast yet fluid in his movement. He held his breath as Philip walked away and looked out the window once more, and Shadow took this opportunity to slide his hand under the pillow, depositing the bottle. If he had asked for his coffee black, as he always drank it, there wouldn't have been enough time to slide the bottle out before Philip pulled away and he would have been caught. "Maybe he's right; maybe things do happen for a reason," he scoffed ironically.

The man walked to the door and paused, saying, "I will see you in a few hours for more Valium. Goodbye." Then he was gone, and Shadow was free to take as many Valium as he wished. Pulling the bottle out, he saw it read, "2mg tablets; do not consume more than 10mg in one serving". He shrugged and opened it, popping two into his hand. "Two more won't kill me," he thought, slamming them both to the back of his throat. Another thought crossed his mind, "That went off without a hitch. A little too easy if you ask me…" He shook his head softly and chuckled, then returned the bottle back to the underside of his pillow and waited for the effects to kick in with an almost giddy outlook of his situation.

The next hour dragged by slowly, but when it was finally over, Shadow tested his body once more. He not only felt no pain whatsoever anywhere throughout, but he now felt mentally elevated and happier. He had drunk the coffee in the past hour and, with the water he had been drinking, he found he now had to pee. Pulling back the covers revealed a bedpan, and Shadow recoiled slightly. "Disgusting… Embarrassing and disgusting." He smirked, thinking, "Well, I won't be needing this anymore," and with that, he picked it up gingerly and swung his feet over the side of the bed. He set the tray on the floor and kicked it under his bed, then he carefully stood up. He felt nothing at first, but then his right leg began to ache dully. The hedgehog went through the process of popping another Valium, then walked to the bathroom, putting most of his weight on his left leg.

After going to the bathroom, Shadow lay back down on his bed and realized just how tired he was. Perhaps it was the drugs, maybe it was yelling at Tails, he didn't know. He decided to take a nap, and closed his eyes. He wouldn't open them for 14 hours.

Shadow the Hedgehog was discharged from the hospital exactly two weeks after being admitted, having been through three surgeries. He was never caught for stealing the Valium, though Philip did notice fairly quickly that the pills were missing; he blamed a momentary lapse of memory. Shadow, on the other hand, had the missing pills, or at least the few that were left, and had continued self-administering them as well as receiving a pill from his nurses every six hours on the dot. They were currently tucked away in his bag of clothes that Tails had brought him.

The fox had only visited once since their shouting match, and it was a brief and awkward encounter that lasted 15 minutes. Tails dropped off the clothes and Shadows' phone (which was shattered in the crash but still worked), apologized for the harsh words (though Shadow did not), and more importantly, informed Shadow that his apartment complex had kicked him out for the crash and all the heavy drinking they had known nothing about. Their main reasoning was the fact that small children and elderly people lived in the complex; they couldn't have a chronic drunk driving through their property. Shadow took offence to this, as he genuinely believed he was not an alcoholic, but said nothing in return. Tails had then agreed to pick him up upon discharge and allow him to stay with him for a while.

At first Shadow refused, but unfortunately for his pride and ego, he had nowhere else to stay and hated the idea of being homeless. He begrudgingly agreed, and the discharge date was set.

As Shadow practically hobbled down the steps of the hospital with his crutches, refusing to take the wheelchair ramp, he spotted the fox talking on the phone about 50 feet away. His heart both fluttered and sank, producing a very unusual feeling in his chest and stomach. He silently walked up to him and set his single bag on the sidewalk and stood behind the fox about ten feet away, waiting unusually politely for him to finish his conversation. A couple minutes past, and Tails said goodbye and hung up the phone, turning around to face the hospital. His blank face grew to one of surprise and reserved happiness at the sight of the hedgehog.

"Shadow! Are you ready?" he asked, upbeat. He appeared to be his old self again, and Shadow was undeniably a little relieved.

The hedgehog coughed and stuttered a response, "Yeah, I guess,"

Tails smiled wider, continuing, "Great! Let's get going, then. It's only a five minute drive to my place." With that, he picked up Shadows' bag and turned towards the parking lot, setting off towards his car at a slower rate so as not to leave his friend behind. The orange fox glanced back a few times, and each time he did so, Shadow coincidentally stumbled. The truth was that he had taken 6mg of Valium about an hour before, so the full effects were now hitting him hard; his broken leg didn't even hurt anymore. His whole body felt numb and a little tingly, and it had been hard to speak when discussing discharge with the nurse. The hedgehog was glad he could blame the injury for stumbling and exhaustion for his speech impediments; under normal circumstances he wouldn't care but, in light of the DUI, he didn't want his friend to know he was high.

They reached the car, a characteristically orange convertible. It looked expensive, and was not the car he had driven to Shadows' apartment two weeks prior. Tails had recently run into some money from a lawsuit in which he rightfully sued Walmart for their gross mismanagement of him and others as employees, as well as verbal and, Shadow suspected from context clues, sexual harassment. The fox didn't like to talk about the situation but Shadow knew it had made him borderline wealthy; his apartment was even on the 22nd floor of a skyscraper in downtown Westopolis.

They drove in silence for the very short trip. They also pulled up, walked inside, and boarded the elevator in silence. Finally, as the machine lurched upward toward the upper floors, Tails spoke. "We, um... Sonic and I moved everything we could from your apartment to here. I have a storage unit, so figure out what you absolutely need and what you don't," he requested, adding, "Tomorrow is technically your last day in that unit, so we can swing by if you'd like and make sure we got everything. I think it might be best to take a loss on the furniture; it'll be a while until you get your own place again."

Shadow sighed and rubbed his temple. "Don't say that, please. I'll be out of your fur in a couple months, max."

Tails smiled weakly. "Okay, Shadow," he said, thinking to himself, "Says the one unemployed with no savings account."

The two walked inside to a spacious living room with yet another wonderful view of the city. The black and red hedgehog instinctively went towards the fridge to grab a beer. Then, remembering Tails' comments about going to AA himself, went instead to the couch and sat down. Tails sat on the other end and looked over at him with a prompting look on his face. When Shadow said nothing, the fox cleared his throat and asked, "So… How are you feeling?"

"Tired," came a somewhat slurred answer.

Tails nodded in understanding. "Well, this apartment is only one bedroom, sorry, but you can sleep on the couch. I'll try not to disturb you." He stood up and stretched, his two tails whipping softly through the air. "I'll be in my room if you need me. Or… If you'd like, I can unpack some of your things for you?" He quickly added, "Only if you're comfortable with it."

Shadow, already leaning back and closing his eyes, answered, "Sure, go ahead," before beginning to nod off; he had completely forgotten about the bottle of Valium at the bottom of his bag.

Shadow was abruptly awoken barely five minutes later by an extremely angry Tails, rattling the bottle of pills inches from his face. Doing something Shadow had only witnessed a dozen or so times in his life, Tails cussed, "What the fuck is this?" Taken aback by the strong language, coming from such a non-confrontational creature, Shadow was momentarily speechless. Tails continued for him, "You're taking Valium? Of all the things they could have given you; was it that German man I saw when we first arrived? I knew he was trouble, I got a bad feeling the moment I met him."

Shadow, finding his words, finally replied, "What exactly is the problem here? Those things have seriously helped my pain." Taking a jab at Tails' sensitive nature, he added, "Do you want me to be in pain?"

This didn't work; if anything, it made Tails angrier. "Cut it out, Shadow. There are a couple problems, actually, and I'll list them to you clearly. For one thing, you are an alcoholic; you told me your whole story in the ambulance, about how you started at 15 and didn't stop until the crash. These things are highly addictive and I don't want you anywhere near them."

Shadow scoffed, glaring at the fox. He cut his friend off, retorting, "You're not my mother, Tails. I can do what I want, and for your information, I can handle myself just fine. I'm not a fucking alcoholic." Then, feeling bold, he lied, "And I haven't exactly been abusing them now have I?"

Tails laughed coldly. Shadow regretted his lie when the fox shot back, "Oh really now? Then tell me why a bottle of 180 pills has exactly eight left after just eleven days of taking them? You're supposed to take a maximum of 10mg per day; you've been averaging 25mg." He inhaled, attempting to calm himself, before continuing. "Shadow, this is a big deal to me. Huge. I will not allow these pills under my roof; if they're so important to you, you can leave," he said, pointing to the door they had just entered.

Shadow knew that, as caring as Tails was, he wasn't messing around. He didn't know why it was so important to the fox, but he had to consider that if he was to have a place to stay. Weighing his options, the hedgehog quickly decided that eight pills were not worth being homeless.

"Fine," he growled. "I'll stay."

Tails snorted. "Good." He then turned and made his way to the kitchen. Shadow heard the sound of a garbage disposal, then silence as Tails walked back into the living room. His anger subsiding, he now grew concerned, asking, "Is there anything else I should know about?"

Shadow shook his head and sat up. Somehow, he was no longer tired, and secretly wanted company. He looked out the window and said to the fox, "So, did I miss anything while I was gone?"

The fox thought for a second, then answered, "Yeah. Something pretty big, actually." Tails sighed before continuing in a more reserved voice, "Sonic proposed to Amy, and she said yes."

Shadow nodded. He wasn't too surprised; it had never been a matter of "if" but of "when". He detected some kind of sadness in Tails' voice he hadn't'd expected, however, and decided to be gentle in his next question. Inquiring softly, he asked next, "Are you happy for them?"

Tails chuckled sadly. "Well, sure, I mean… Sonic is my best friend and Amy… Amy…" His eyes unexpectedly began to water and he stopped his sentence in its tracks, as if scared to say what was on his mind.

Shadow prompted, "Amy?"

Tails began to cry at this. "Shadow, I've never been very religious or anything, but lately I've been praying," he stated, going down an unrelated tangent. "I know it's none of my business, and I know I should be happy for them but I'm not."

Shadow remained silent. The fox had said "fuck" for the first time in years and was now crying again; the hedgehog was scared that anything he said might set off the fragile being.

Tails went on after a moment, "I'm not because… Beca-because…" He widened his eyes and clenched his teeth, crying harder. "Listen, Shadow. You shared a lot of deep secrets with me, things you've never told anyone before, and I'm honored. I'm going to do the same with you now; if you tell anyone what I'm about to say…" Tails paused, then sniffled, "I might have to kill you," he laughed. He looked at Shadow with caring eyes. "I'm trusting you."

Shadow simply nodded in return. He knew what was coming; he had suspected for years. "Tails loves Amy. It makes sense, they're so close and Amy spends a lot of time with him. And it's okay; I love him, and that's unrequited. We can suffer together."

Tails took a steadying breath and looked Shadow dead in the eyes. "I love Sonic."

Author's Note II:

I'm sorry for leaving y'all with another cliffhanger; it will probably happen again. Whoopsies! Thank you all for your continued love and support, and I promise chapter 3 will be up real soon.

~Hannah~