Hello Darlings,
We're getting closer to posting the fifth installment of our Bakers Hunter and Pie series but until that happens we figured we'd do you wonderful ladies and gents a favor and summarize our first four books to the best of our abilities.
For curious new readers, if our playful welcome didn't scare you off, or you just glanced through it and went- 'Ugh? Where the fuck is the story at? Damn egotistical authors alway talking 'bout themselves and not getting to the damn point' We'd like to gently repeat that the following Road so Far will in No way help you understand what is happening when the story opens. The OFCs have already interrupted several major plot points and it's just going to be weird AF if you jump in here; not to mention spoil so much for yourself. Trust us, it's worth reading from the beginning. Just click your happy little hunter butt over to Witch Pie and start there.
For the rest of you wonderful dolls, here's a small refresher course for those of you who are interested. All the important highlights and low points of the Winchesters, Mae, and Lilly. A moment of silence for the trauma, trials, and tribulations we put these characters through, all for the sake of our entertainment. It only gets darker from here lovelies, it is the End of the Pie, after all.
-Dark and Twisted
FINAL WARNING: SERIES SPOILERS AHEAD
In the beginning Chuck created the heavens and the earth- Just kidding! No one has time for that kind of road map.
The Road so Far…
Five Years Earlier
Bakers Interrupted... By Hunters
On a wild goose chase for their missing father, Sam and Dean stumble upon a pie shop that will forever change their lives. With no other clues to go on, Sam zeros his intuition in on the two owners of the bakery. The brothers end up breaking into the girls' house a few hours later, sure the two odd woman have something to hide. Upon inspection they find evidence that ties them to not only their missing father, but also their second incommunicado father figure. The hunters don't have much time to think when they girls arrive home earlier than expected. One chase and a fight scene later, Mae is passed out in a bed and Lilly is tied to a chair being interrogated by two very angry men. Mae wakes up, Sam makes an impulsive decision, and Dean finally puts down the shotgun before Bobby arrives and slaps some sense into all of them. The Winchester's apologize, the girls shrug it off, and Bobby goes home that night with a migraine.
Time passes. Mae keeps in contact with Sam, while Lilly and Dean take turns annoying one another intermittently with phone calls about whether or not John had been seen. Nightmares of John's death plague Mae's dreams; night sweats and terrors a grim deja vu that keeps her on edge. When the call finally comes, the girls immediately rally together, badgering Bobby as they grow concerned at Mae's nightmare finally coming to fruition. Dean and Sam travel with John's corpse, the last trip the brothers will make with their father. A meal is made. The ceremony prepared. Some awkward and tense exchanges occur before the men settle in for the night. The next day the funeral is held at dusk. The girls both pay their respects in white; though their presence is unwelcome by Dean while leaving Sam confused. Mae shares stories and memories of John by his pyre. Dean abuses Baby. Lilly calls, when she should have folded and Dean calls her bluff. Some brief violence. Ashes are stolen. A couple of intimate moments of vulnerability are sprinkled in by both idjits and gidjits. Bobby rues the two groups ever meeting. A line is drawn between best friends turned sisters in the kitchen, after the brothers take off on their search for Ellen. Mae adds one more tree to her memorial garden while Lilly plays a dirge, one last farewell for John.
Saving people and hunting things doesn't seem so bad in comparison to a power crazed mother running for governor. When the Winchesters return to Sioux Falls, after Hell's Hunger Games Special, they find themselves patching up the girls. Hours later they learn that the girls have made up rooms for them, 'mi casa su casa' style. Dean happily accepts, Sam's a bit overwhelmed and the girls quickly realize the guys are hiding something. It's not long however before the 'Littles' start dating, but the brothers are quick to jump to their next hunt. Lilly discovers a long lost Uncle and Mae starts to notice things missing around the house and bakery. Mae pulls Bobby into it, and they both try to unravel the mystery of Lilly. Christmas happens. Ash and the Harvelles meet the girls. The secret Dean was trying to hide is revealed in epic Lilly fashion, while Mae blurts out her own secret. Experiments are run on Lilly. Sam is a steriods rage monster, Mae passes out, and awkward silences abound for a while. Loki makes an appearance, unwittingly trapping Lilly in Sam's lesson; forcing the two to bond over hellish groundhog days as Mae is forced to a painful doctor's appointment, and Dean dies, over and over again. Sam finds Loki, shit gets set right, but Lilly is still acting off and Mae's routine removal is more than any one bargained for. Morals are questioned as opiates are made. The big's get together just in time for Lilly to run away, as the hunter's zero in on Lillith. Ellen and Jo end up at Mystic, thanks to a call from Ash. Lilly meets an unexpected king. Ash dies. Lilly disappears. Dean dies. Mae and Sam try to pick up each other's pieces after Ellen calls Bobby with bad news.
It doesn't take long for Sam to leave Mae, desperate to keep Mae from feeling the loss he had at his brother's death. Bobby teaches Mae to become a hunter. Lilly is tortured by fanatics worshipping an imprisoned god. Enter Castiel. Dean's back. Enter Maat and Thoth. Lilly discovers she's a priestess, albeit a cursed one. Family reunited. Tears, breakdowns, and bleach. Sam and Dean leave on a case. Mae and Lilly find themselves caught up with a ghost. Castiel doesn't know how to read a room. The girls end up in a couple of canon episodes. Castiel all but confirms Mae ain't as normal as the guys would like. Dean and Sam don't much care for Thoth and Maat. Neither does Castiel. When rescuing Anna, the girls get in over the heads. Uriel and Alistair, angel and demon, heaven and hell, get their hands on the girls. Mae is pushed to her limits, questioning her faith and left with too many unanswered questions. Lilly discovers that there is a distinct difference between cauterizing for necessity and torture. Sam and Dean comfort them, but it's not long before they're back on the road trying to stop Lilith. Dean starts getting suspicious of Sam. Lilly smells something's off with him, and Mae knows but doesn't tell. Secrets are kept and lies are told. Zachariah drops in to introduce himself. Lilly is an abomination with a penchant for masochism. Mae is a sexy mail girl, Dean's a cleanse monster, and Sam's an IT nerd that wants to throttle Mr. Smith's useless secretary. Anna keeps Lilly company and she ends up giving the rogue angel the ritual for obscura after receiving the angel wards. Lilly finds herself confused. Castiel, Dean, and Thoth work together to rescue Ahmes. Mae's knocked out by Sam's newfound abilities. Bobby yells. Mae cries. Sam ends up throwing Lilly into a wall. Thoth takes the girls to his home, where Lilly is forced to heal a mark on Mae, and Thoth finally reveals Mae's Fae heritage. With permission from her family, Lilly performs a ritual, cleansing Sam of the blood but leaving both of them drained. Mae and Dean take care of their partners. Dean and Sam fight. Castiel shares a dream with Lilly, who whisks Mae out of Mystic and away from the bickering hunters. Novak is rescued. Mae is concerned for Thoth. For some reason demon trap confetti works at stalling demons, and the girls find their gidjit gear acceptable in the field as they rescue Novak with no casualties. Sam and Dean die a little bit on the inside upon seeing the brightly colored water guns and hula hoops. The demons want Mae, just as much as they want Sammy but neither big is having it. Mae is squirrelled away to the panic garden, while the others work on a way to kill Lilith. Mae and Lilly are kidnapped. Blood is forced down Sam's throat. Dean is left feeling sideswept. Why was the opposition suddenly so focused on the girls? Castiel helps free Dean and Lilly from the green room. They meet up with Sam and Bobby, and Cass sends the four of them go to rescue a much abused Mae. Lilith, who insists Mae is her new mommy, chains her to an altar to 'sacrifice'. Sam kills Lilith and the five of them find themselves face to face with Lucifer's grace as his cage is finally broken open.
So what happened to our three favorite hunters and two girls who constantly find themselves tagging along? Were Lilly's prayers answered? Did Castiel manage to get to them? Is Thoth, Maat, or maybe even Loki going to save them? Did they miraculously end up on a plane over Maryland with no explanation as to how the hell they got there? Chuck only knows. ;)