Hello everyone! Thank you for the reviews I've got! Really keeps me going. So I'm already up with chapter 2. And again. I own nothing. Enjoy readers!

Derek felt like there was something that was missing in his life. He knew exactly what it was he just couldn't admit it too himself. He knew he missed his ex-wife. He felt awful for what he had done to her. He just couldn't risk being with her again. He hated her for sleeping with his best friend. How could she do that? Derek was very aware about when they were married he maybe wasn't home all the time, maybe he had forgotten about her birthday one year, but Derek thought that doesn't give her a reason to just sleep with Mark. God he just hated her for doing that to him. But he knew he loved her. He's always going to love Addison, no matter what. The thing Derek just couldn't admit was that he was actually IN love with her. He really was. And he felt like such a jerk for being rude to her the other day, and if he could he would had taken it back what he had said to her. He really didn't want her to leave Seattle. Of course not. But he could understand why she thought that. Derek was lying on his bed. Well not his bed, Meredith's bed. She was asleep. He wasn't, he couldn't sleep. It was around 5am. He had to go up 6am. He looked over at Meredith, he couldn't help but feel nothing. He just didn't. He knew for sure that he didn't love her. But Derek couldn't go back to his wife, and he don't want to be alone. So he's going to stay with her. And see how it goes, maybe he could love her. All of these thoughts made him go crazy. He had to go. So he decided for a run. It's never a bad time for a run in the woods. It always made him think clear. He got up, put on a t-shirt, pants and his jogging shoes.

After his long run he saw Meredith still was sleeping, and loudly. He went to the bathroom for a shower. Meredith woke up noticing Derek wasn't there. She heard the water streaming down and she knew he was taking a shower. She went to the bathroom and took off all of her clothes and went in to the shower. Derek who didn't notice her jumped when he felt her hands around him. He turned around and saw her, he then felt the anger building. He didn't know why but he just got mad.

-Meredith! What are you doing?"

-Just decided to take a shower with you if that's okay?" She said with a grin.

-No! Get out!" He almost yelled.

-Geez, Derek what's wrong?" She said confused.

-I just don't like it when people scare me like that so get out Meredith." He was calmer now.

-Fine!" this time Meredith yelled at him for being such a jerk to her. What was his problem?

She stormed out and slammed the door behind her. She was a little wet but she took a towel and later when she was dressed and ready for work she went downstairs.

Derek didn't feel guilty for what he had done. He just thought it was inappropriate of her to come in like that and scare him. But they were together… Derek thought to himself "If it was Addison who had come sneaking behind me… would I throw her out? –No, no I wouldn't. Damn, I have to stop thinking about her. She left. It's over. Just go and try to be happy with Meredith. Put your feelings aside."

He went down stairs, he saw Izzie, Alex, George, and Meredith sitting there at the table having breakfast. They didn't notice him. So he decided to sneak out, he really didn't want to face Meredith after the whole shower thing… so he just grabbed his jacket, car keys, and put his shoes on and left.

When he arrived at the hospital it felt empty. He knew what it was but he just ignored it and he hoped he would get an exited case today so he could get his mind on something that wasn't Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery.

A few hours later he felt more empty than before. He had gotten a case about a twelve year old who have a huge brain tumor ´. Sure he thought it'll be interesting to operate on him but he hated working on kids. He felt like he was holding his breath the entire time. He could always see how scared they were, they didn't understand he medical terms for everything and they just looked confused and afraid. He didn't like that at all. But he maybe in some way thought that made him a better surgeon, he could see how badly the patients felt and that made him feel more obligated to let them survive. Derek always felt proud when people asked him what he worked with. And it made him feel good and strong when he tells them he was a surgeon. And not to mention… a world class surgeon. Derek loved his job. He couldn't see himself do anything else. He really loved to help people. And he thought the best gift was life. It was around 11pm. He had worked for almost for sixteen hours without any rest except for the little lunch/dinner brake he took around 4pm. But he really didn't care how much he had worked. All he could think about was to save that little boy. Derek had to be at the hospital 5am tomorrow so he decided to sleep at the hospital tonight, in an empty un call room. He was walking to the nurse station to leave some charts. When he had done that he started to find a spare room. When he was walking around Meredith popped up right in front of him whit a:

-Hey, I haven't seen you all day. How are you? She acted just like normal.

-Yeah, I've been busy. Hard case on my mind. I'm okay, you? He said. He still felt sad about the little boy.

-Me? I'm fine. Hey, could we talk? She said. He knew what it was about.

-Meredith… I'm tired. I just want to sleep. He said without hesitation.

-Fine, we can go home to my place and get a good night sleep. Come." She grabbed his hand but he immediately pulled away.

-what is it? She says confused.

-I think I'm just going to sleep here tonight. I'll see you later. Good night. "He started walking away.

-Derek c'mon. Let's go home. She said trying to convince him.

-No, I'm staying" he said annoyed.

-Stop acting like a twelve year old she said."

Now Derek was mad. He started to think about his case. The boy who had a brain tumor, his name was Daniel. Derek just gave Meredith an angry look and started walking once again.

-What's wrong Derek? She said very confused.

-What's wrong? You wanna know what's wrong? I've been working my ass off the entire day and I just want to get a good night sleep but you just always have to bitch about where I'm sleeping! Just leave me alone for one night Meredith! Or is that too much for you? Is it?" he yelled.

-You're such a jerk Derek! I haven't done anything. Just… just screw you." She said with tears in her eyes.

Meredith left. She drove home alone in her thoughts. She was scared. That Derek had stopped having feelings for her. Just the idea of him leaving her made her feel sick and helpless. She couldn't live without him. And she knew they had only been together for a couple of months but she could really feel that he was the one for her. And she just couldn't stand the image of him walking out on her and that he would never look back. She tried to keep her emotions in check when she was driving but it was too damn hard. Had she done something? Why was he so mad and distant? She really couldn't understand him when he was acting like this. What could she possibly have done?

Derek did feel bad about what he had just done. But he just felt so strongly about Daniel, his patient. Derek had a lot on his mind. And once again when he was laying on the bed in the hospital, his mind was on his ex-wife. Why couldn't he just be in love with Meredith? It would be so much easier then. She lived in Seattle, she was a nice person and she actually hadn't slept with his best friend! He decided to call it for tonight. He was too tired for his own thoughts. He drifted off to sleep slowly.

He woke up the morning after with his pillow over his head and the cover was on the floor. He sat up and looked around him. Where was she? Had she left? Derek then realized it just had been a dream. Addison wasn't there obviously. She had left. God that was a good dream. He put his clothes on and started to get back to business. He had a kid to save. After 7 hours of work he went to the cafeteria for some lunch. He started looking around for a place to sit. The first table was full of interns, Izzie, George, Alex, and Izzie. Meredith wasn't there with them. The table next to them was full of nurses, of course he could hear from where he stood about the gossip they were talking about. No, no nurses today. Then he saw an empty table. He sat down by the empty table and started eating his food. It wasn't much. It was a sandwich, loaded with chicken. And he drank coffee to that. It'll do he thought. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder.

-Hi.

He heard someone say. He turned around and saw Meredith with a small smile on her face. A week smile.

-Hey. He said bitter.

-Can we talk? She said barely a whisper.

-Yes, join me, sit. He said and pulled out a chair next to him with his foot.

-Can't we go somewhere else? She said uncomfortable.

-Yeah, sure. He said while he pulled himself out of the chair.

They both went pretty fast to an empty un call room. Derek wondered what she wanted. Maybe she was breaking up with him. He couldn't help but feel the relief. He felt bad about that. He didn't want to hurt her. They both walked in the room. It was pretty dark inside. He was about to turn the lights on when he felt Meredith hand grab his arm and stopped him for turning the lights on. She started kissing his neck slowly and sweet. Derek didn't like this. He actually felt like he was the one who cheated now.

"Meredith I'm sorry but I can't do this." Derek pulled back. "Oh c'mon Derek you know you want this." Meredith said while she started unbottening his shirt. Derek this time got annoyed and grabbed her wrists and said "no Meredith, it's not. I love Addison. You and I was just a one time thing. A fling. It didn't mean anything." Meredith this time stopped. Her tears started to stream down her cheeks. "Then why did you choose me over Addison? You told me you loved me. I don't understand Derek…" Meredith said. "I know, I thought I did. But I don't. I never did Mer. I'm sorry." Now Meredith started sobbing. "Can't we at least try? We can make this work Derek. I know we can" Derek sighed. "Meredith no. I want to be with Addison. She's the love of my life. And it's not fair to none of us to just pretending." Now Meredith was angry. How could he do this to her? Why now? Why did he let her fall for him? "Derek! I'm not pretending anything. I love you more than anything." Derek felt his guilt growing inside of him. He then said "I know you do… but I am. I'm pretending. I thought I could get over her. But I can't. Sure we have some problems but it'll be fine in the end. We'll sort them out. We always do" he couldn't keep his smile away now when he thought of Addison. "Derek you've already told her to leave, so what's the point anyway?" Meredith said, still with tears in her eyes. Derek hadn't even thought about that yet. He had told her to leave. That he didn't want to see her ever again. That he rather be with Meredith instead of a adultres bitch. He started to come back from his flashback. Derek looked at Meredith and he felt nothing. "I have to go" he whispered. "where to?" Meredith said confused. Derek was already on his way out from the un call room. He stopped and turned around with a grin on his face. "to LA" he said.

Addison sat in the kitchen. Still she didn't feel settle in her new beach house in Santa Monica. She was wearing the same thing she had on work today. A red dress with regular high heels, black once. she felt lonely. She was divorced and heart broken. She couldn't blame Derek for leaving her though she thought to herself. He did have a reason. She had slept with her husband's best friend. But still… she was heartbroken. She missed Derek, and on the same time she just wanted to smack him in the face for being such a jerk to her the last time they saw each other. Which was 2 months ago in Seattle. She couldn't get over the image of Meredith and Derek together. Tears started to build in Addison's eyes. Then the doorbell rang. She quickly stood up and pulled herself together. She wiped the tears away and walked to the door and opened it. When she saw who it was her jaw dropped. Then after 10 very long seconds she managed to say: "what are you doing here Mark?"

Surprise! Mark showed up. And finally Derek left Meredith! So please read and review. Come up with ideas as well. I appreciate it. Next chapter will be up soon! /Addison