Okay guys ... y'all convinced me to write a little more. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. I really loved reading all of your lovely reviews ! I can't promise you another chapter though. Working on this story is definitely fun for me, but like I already told you English is not my native language and so it's a bit difficult for me sometimes to find the right words for what I want to say and it just takes a lot of time. Anyways ... I hope y'all enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think of it ;-)
Thanks a lot for the edit, Rachel !
All characters belong to ABC's Nashville of course.
Chapter Two
They didn't need the spare room this night. Of course they didn't. They didn't get much sleep, either. Instead they talked and cried and tried to comfort each other and eventually fell asleep tangled up in each other shortly before dawn.
When Rayna woke up the next day it was already 1 pm. She tried to turn around and reach for her cell phone on the nightstand, but the minute she started turning, Deacon tightened his grip around her middle and pulled her back to him.
"Where are you going ?" he asked.
Rayna looked at his closed eyes and smiled lightly. He was still half asleep, but obviously more awake than he pretended to be.
"I just wanted to check my phone and besides … it's already afternoon and I really think it's about time to get up."
Deacon mumbled something she didn't understand and then opened his eyes and yawned pointedly. "Guess we can't just sleep it away, right ?"
"I wish we could babe, but we talked about this last night and we both know that there's no way to avoid this conversation."
She entwined her fingers with his. "Remember what I promised you last night ? I'm all in. And 'all in' means that we're gonna face everything together from now. Telling our daughter is probably gonna be the hardest part, but we'll get through this and you are not alone, okay ?"
Deacon nodded lightly and placed a soft kiss on her hand. It was time for the truth. Again.
They left the cabin together and then went their separate ways. Rayna drove back to her Belle Meade home and was glad to have a few hours alone before Teddy would drop off the girls. They had spent the night at Teddy's although she had asked him to stay away from the girls for a while a few days ago. Yesterday though had changed her plans and she was thankful that Teddy hadn't argued with her and let the girls stay with him.
When she got home she felt the lack of sleep finally get the best of her and sat down on the sofa to rest for a few minutes.
She realized that she must have dozed off when she heard laughter and the cheerful voices of her daughters. She tried to fix her hair and the rumpled clothes and then got up to welcome her daughters.
"Hey girls. It's so good to see y'all !" She opened her arms and waited for the girls to give her a big hug.
"Mom, we've already seen our Opry-performance on YouTube and it's like so cool," Daphne exclaimed.
Rayna smiled at the excitement of her youngest daughter and replied, "I'll definitely have to check this out later, but now I really hope that y'all are still hungry, because Deacon wants to come over and he promised to bring pizza."
The girls smiled at each other and Daphne let out a little squeal of excitement, before she grabbed her bag and ran upstairs. Maddie on the other hand asked in a more serious voice, "Did you find him yesterday ? Where'd he go ?"
"He was at the cabin and yeah … I found him there." Rayna wanted to be honest with her daughter, because she knew that Maddie had been worried too last night, but at the same time she hoped that Maddie wouldn't ask any further questions now.
As luck would have it the doorbell started ringing at that moment and Maddie turned around to open the door. Rayna watched her daughter hugging Deacon and took a deep breath. She wasn't ready for this conversation at all, but she knew that they had to do it anyway and the longer they would put it off the harder it would get.
Rayna and Deacon had decided to let the girls eat the pizza at first, but couldn't really enjoy their own slices. Both were dwelling on thoughts and occasionally looking at each other just to notice that they were both behaving the same way.
It was Rayna who finally put down her pizza slice and cleared her throat.
"Girls, we need to tell you something."
The girls had a questioning look on their faces, but when they saw that Rayna had reached for Deacon's hand and entwined her fingers with his, they started smiling.
"Oh my God … So I guess it's not complicated anymore, huh ?" commented Maddie.
"Does that mean your like boyfriend and girlfriend now ?" Daphne asked.
Deacon looked down on their entwined fingers and realized what impression they must have given the girls. He quickly loosened his hand from Rayna's and couldn't hide the desperation in his eyes.
Rayna knew what he felt right away and tried to explain the situation. "Ehm … no. We're not … I mean it's still complicated and it's ..."
Deacon could see that Rayna was struggling, because she simply didn't have an answer for her daughters' questions and neither did he. So he took a deep breath and then continued, "Actually it's me. I need to tell you something. I'm sick. I got cancer and I'm gonna need a new liver. I've known for a while and I told your momma yesterday and we agreed on telling you as soon as possible. I don't know how much you know about cancer and I really don't want you to be worried. So if you got any questions, just let me know. I'll try my best to make it as easy as possible for you."
As he had finished his last sentence, Deacon felt relieved although he hadn't seen the girls' reaction yet. His eyes searched for Rayna's and she nodded reassuringly.
The girls seemed to process what Deacon had said and it was awfully quite for a moment.
Daphne was the first who discovered her voice again and asked Deacon, "Does the cancer hurt you ? I had a tonsillitis once and I had to take those huge pills the doctor gave me and when I took them, it got better."
Deacon smiled at her comparison and tried to give her a simple explanation. "The doctor gave me some medicine too and if I take it regularly I don't feel any pain, but to make the cancer go away completely they'll need to exchange my liver with a healthy one."
Daphne contemplated for a second and than posed a new question to Deacon."How did the cancer get there ?"
Rayna and Deacon tried to communicate with their eyes only, but before any one of them had the chance to come up with an answer,
Maddie said dryly, "It's the alcohol."
Her eyes only left the table to shot Deacon a cross glance and then she proceeded with her explanation. "You know, Deacon's an alcoholic. He used to drink a lot of booze and too much isn't good for your liver. It's not good at all."
"Maddie, please. I get that the news are shocking, but it's pointless to blame him for what he did in his past. You can't change the past. We can only try to make the best out of the future, but that is only gonna work if we're all in this together … as one family," Rayna interjected.
"Now you want us to play happy family ? Just because he's sick ? Let's just face the truth here … His drinking has finally caught up with him. He's caused that to himself," Maddie yelled back at her mother.
Rayna was caught off guard by her daughter's sudden outburst and did not want to make it worse by arguing with her.
Maddie, however, only just got started and stood up from her chair. She walked a few steps, but turned around before leaving the dining-room. She looked at Deacon. "I'm so sick of all this ! Every time I think we're finally on the right track and that maybe someday we can be a family, you make everything ten times worse. I just wish that mom and you would've never met. It would make everything so much easier !"
She didn't wait for a response and finally left the room. Rayna heard her walk up the stairs and run down a few seconds later. She held her cell phone and a jacket in her hands and was about to walk straight out of the door, when Rayna called, "Maddie, where are you going ?"
"Somewhere that's not here thinking about … stuff."
She slammed the door and left Rayna, Deacon and Daphne in a room full of silence.
They remained silent for a little longer only exchanging comforting glances once in a while. Daphne had left the room at some time knowing full well that they probably had some grown-up stuff to talk about now.
Rayna searched for the right words, but couldn't think of anything halfway decent, so she just walked around the table, stood behind Deacon and wrapped her arms around him. They stood like this for a while, when Rayna softly whispered, "I'm so sorry babe."
Deacon just shook his head. "Don't be. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault but mine. You heard her. I caused this to myself. She's right." He freed himself from her hug and started pacing back and forth.
"You see ? That's why I wanted to deal with it by myself. I knew that I would just cause her a lot of pain and that's the last thing I wanna do, Ray. She's my little girl and I'm supposed to take care of her and protect her and now … Now all I'm doing is to cause her pain and trouble. That's not fair."
"No babe. We've been down that road before … You don't have to deal with that all by yourself. She was mad and the words she said must have stung, I understand that, but all of this is just really emotional and people tend to do or say the wrong things in the heat of the moment. Just don't take it too serious. She loves you and she needs you and that's all that matters right now," Rayna responded.
"She doesn't need me, Rayna. She needs a father. A man she can rely on and I can't be that man. I don't even know if I'm gonna make it through the next six months," Deacon replied.
Rayna and Deacon were both crying now and didn't even try to hold back their tears.
"Do you remember what you said to me that night you came here and proposed ? You said that you have changed and that you are ready to be a husband now and a father and you were right. You're a great father and our girl deserves to spend so much more time with you. So you gotta promise me that you never say these words again and that you fight this damn cancer. And then you're gonna beat it."
Rayna looked at Deacon with pleading eyes and waited for him to react to her words. He stood still for a moment, but then cleared his throat and said, "Do you know where to find her ?"
When Luke opened the door he didn't seem to be surprised to see her, which told her that her gut feeling was probably right and Maddie had come here to see Colt.
"Hey, how are you ? I am sorry for just coming over, but I really need to talk to Maddie. Is she here ?" Rayna asked.
Luke waited a moment before he answered her question,"You know she didn't really look like she wants to see you. Either one of you."
Rayna looked at him with a questioning look on her face. "What do you mean ? What did she tell you ?" She tried to hide the panic that she slowly felt coming up, but failed miserable. Did Maddie tell Luke about Deacon's … situation ? She didn't know why, but the fact that Maddie might have talked to Luke was somehow bothering her.
Luke of course did notice the change in her voice and replied, "I dunno. She seemed pretty upset, you know ? Cried her eyes out and all. Not the happy family anymore, I guess?"
Rayna knew full well what situation Luke was referring to, but she decided not to react to it and tried to stay as calm as possible. She was about to ask him again where her daughter was when he pertly added, "Seems like your little 'Rayna&Deacon-special' at the Opry was a little too much for him, huh ? What did he do this time ? I told you Rayna. He ain't gonna change."
"What the hell makes you think … ? Mh, you know what ? Save it ! Just mind your own damn business and stay the hell out of mine !" This time he had clearly gone too far, but Rayna once again decided to ignore his mocking comment and focus on the only reason she had come here: Finding her daughter.
Since Luke didn't offer for her to come in she just pushed him aside and walked straight down the hallway. There she heard muffled voices, occasionally interrupted by a heart-melting sobbing. She softly knocked on the door of the billiards room and opened it carefully when she didn't get a response. When she stepped into the room she saw Maddie and Colt sitting on the floor together, her head on his shoulder.
The moment she saw her daughters eyes, red from hours of crying, her heart broke into a thousand pieces. In no time she found herself on the floor right beside Maddie and threw her arms around her.
In that moment she realized that losing the man they loved the most wasn't an option for either one of them. She had to fight not only for him or her, but for their family. Come hell or high water.