Disclaimer:
I do not own Once Upon A Time blah bah blah because if so, Swan Queen would have been canon right after Season 1.
Author's Note:
So here's a new chapter. Yes, there's a lot of angst (I love it, really) but just for your sake I will consider a happy ending for this fic. Don't hold your breath though. I'm kidding. I'm a sucker for happy endings so hang in there, SWEN. HA!
Thinking of You
Lying on her side of the bed, she thinks about the last few days. How he's being overly affectionate and clingy. It's happening all over again and she just turns a blind eye to it every time. She knows she should say something, do something but she doesn't. She doesn't have the energy to confront her husband and if she was being honest to herself, she actually doesn't care at all; well perhaps she cares a bit just for the sake of her children. Everything she's doing now is for the sake of her little darlings. So she puts her carefully constructed mask and pretends. She's good at it now anyway.
xxx
"Well this is nice," Emma says from beside her. They were under the shade of the brunette's apple tree, wrapped around each other, "this is very couple-y." the blonde continued while burying her nose in brunette locks.
"Is that even a word?" she quipped and giggled when Emma nipped at her earlobe.
"Babe?" Emma snuggles to her more as if there's still an inch of space left between them.
"Yes, my love?" she whispers to her girlfriend's cheek.
Emma brushes the hair away from her face and leans closer, "Say that again," she whispers close to her own lips. She could practically taste Emma's minty breath.
"My love," she whispers once more before her lips are pressed to her girlfriend's.
"I love it when you say shit like that, I feel so girly and tingly inside." Emma says with that smug smirk of hers that makes her feel 'girly and tingly inside' as the blonde put it.
She just rolled her eyes in reply and bumped her nose with her girlfriend's, "What were you going to say?"
Emma shifted so she could cup her face in her hands, "We should go to Vegas. I'm 18 and you'll be too in a few weeks so we're both legal to go away for a while."
Her eyes twinkled at that and a smile graced her lips, "And what are we going to do there? Hmm?"
"Duh! Casino, baby!" the blonde shrieks before launching into more babble, "and then we'll go to one of those chapels where people get hitched. You know just like in the movies. An Elvis Presley impersonator marries us, you'll wear a little bridal dress with a thin veil on top of your head," she stopped her animated talking and seemed to be thinking of something before sputtering her chatter again, "OR! How about a cute little floral crown on your head, huh? And then I'll wear a white sexy tuxedo with a funky bow tie."
Emma's excitement was contagious. The little smile on her face grew into a large grin when she started her own spiel as well, "We should move to the suburbs after that and buy our own house with white picket fences and…" she drifted off teasingly, "we should adopt a dog, and I'll name her Emma junior." She finished while trying to hold in her laughter at Emma's incredulous look.
"Oh you are paying for that, come here!" Emma feigned hurt before jumping her and tickling her sides.
xxx
A hand snakes to her waist which startles her a little. The breathing and body sliding closer to her from behind lets her know that her husband is awake. He tugs on her so she's lying on her back while he hovers above her. When he starts kissing her she tenses for a split second before reluctantly kissing him back. The hand holding her waist starts caressing and wandering over her body, the weight on top of her pushes her more down on the bed and the kiss deepens. She panics internally before she's pulling away from the kiss, from his possessive hold, "Robin, the kids will be up soon." She's pushing him away from her, she didn't want to be intimate with him. She tried to love him, she did. Maybe she loves him, she's just not in love with him. She cares for him deeply because they've been together for years and they have children together so it was never hard to care for him. But even the idea of falling in love with another was hastily thrown out the window. She couldn't, not after the pain she's been through after losing the one person she ever gave her everything to.
The quiet sigh she released when the weight on top of her budged and the hold on her was removed was one of relief. It was always like this and she half blames herself because maybe it's also her fault why her husband looks for another to warm his bed.
"Fine," he grunts before pushing off the bed and striding towards the adjoining bathroom. He not so subtly closes the door that makes her flinch involuntarily. She doesn't move from the bed and just stares at the ceiling.
xxx
"Emma!" she screamed at the top of her lungs before plopping back down on the soft cloth they've laid on top of the cool grass.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes." The blonde snickers while wriggling her way up her body. They were naked, breathless, sweaty, and lain out in a clearing under the twinkling stars.
Feeling the chill of the night air, she snuggled closer to her girlfriend's warmth. "I love you, Emma Swan." She whispered sleepily in the crook of the blonde's neck, their previous activity making her feel drowsy and relaxed.
"I love you too, Regina Mills." She heard Emma whisper on top of her head before leaving a kiss there. She was just on the edge of dozing when she heard the blonde mumble, "You have my heart, Gina. I'll miss you." She didn't get to respond and think much of it because sleep has taken her.
xxx
The door bangs open before a sudden weight lands on top of her. She smiles. A tender loving smile only reserved for her sons.
"Mama!" her little boy squeals on top of her before he's standing up and jumping on the bed.
"Mom? I'm starving," another little brunette head pokes from the doorway before moving sluggishly on her perch on the bed. Her smile grows more.
"Henry!" Roland shouts before he shoots off the bed and clings to his older brother. The added weight startles her older son making them both stumble on top of her bed, laughing hysterically. She moves to sit, pressing her back on the headboard while joining in the laughter of her sons. She motions for them to hug her and so they did while squealing.
"What's with all the ruckus out here?" Robin asks appearing from the doorway of the bathroom. He's freshly showered and smiling fondly at them. He may have his faults as a husband but he's a great father to their children which she's grateful for.
"I'm starving, Dad!" Henry sighs dramatically and lets himself fall to the bed beside her. Roland shrieks before copying his older brother. The sight warms her heart so she starts tickling them both making their peals of laughter echo throughout their house. Robin, never wanting to be left out joins in on the tickle war. Moments like these make her forget for a brief time about her problems and worries and just embrace her little family.
"Why don't we go to Granny's for breakfast?" she asks after a while and the laughter died down. She was answered by big smiles and bobbing of heads.
xxx
"Robin Locksley, milady." The man, Robin, extended his hand in greeting. He was a decent looking man, she'd give him that but he wasn't really her type.
"Regina Mills, it's a pleasure to meet you." She greeted politely in return.
It was a week later after her girlfriend packed and left town. The past week passed in a blur. She was in autopilot the whole time. She couldn't even remember the event that led her to this 'blind date', with this man who slightly smelled of forest. It was her mother who made her come here in the first place. Her mother have had enough of her moping, she didn't really know about her relationship with Emma and just regarded her foul mood as 'a phase of her transitioning into a woman', if there was such a thing.
"The pleasure is mine." He pulled the chair for her, so gallant, she thought. She pulled a smile, a grimace really, in thanks.
After they ordered, they stayed in an awkward bubble where they would just talk a little, stare or smile at each other. Once the food came, they ate in a somewhat companionable silence.
"They say this isn't a forced union, eh?" He said after a while breaking the silence, "Could've fooled me" he snorted and chuckled at his own thought.
Her utensil clanked against her plate when she looked up at him with wide eyes. And then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She remembered her mother telling her that she should impress this man while she was getting ready for this meeting. She knew her mother always has something up her sleeve but she never imagined she would pull something like this on her.
xxx
It was a lovely day so they opted to walk to the Diner. Robin carried Roland in his arms while Henry, side hugging her and leaning much of his weight on her, walked in between her and her husband.
People greeted them politely on their walk. It was a small town and everyone just about knows each other.
The Diner bell rang alerting the people inside of their entrance. Robin shifted his stance and so she glanced his way. Roland was reaching for her so she took him in her arms and when her sight was caught by something red that was when her world tilted on its own axis.
The same blonde curls and blue-green eyes that haunted her in her dreams have now come face to face with her. An inaudible gasp left her lips and she tightened her hold on Roland slightly. She couldn't wrap her head around what she's seeing. After 12 years, she's back. Emma's back. Her infuriatingly charming Emma Swan is back.
She was pulled out of her daze when she felt Robin, her husband, place his arms around her so he could guide them to an available booth.
She could feel Emma's eyes on her. She wanted to turn and face her, she wanted to slap her, she wanted to kiss her senseless, she wanted to do a lot of things but she mostly wanted to rush out of the Diner away from everyone, away from Emma Swan. She blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, the happy mood she was in turned sour in an instant and she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. After all the years she spent trying to move on, she thought she had a firm grip on her emotions. But just one look and one glance at the woman who left her, made all her walls come crashing down.
xxx
Her 'I do' was a pained whisper, her actions were robotic and lacking any emotion, it was as if she was having an out of body experience. This was her wedding day; she was supposed to be tearing up because of happiness not of sadness. Her dress feels tight; she's feeling claustrophobic in front of Robin, in front of the priest, in front of her mother, in front of half the town. She's having a panic attack but when she heard the resounding, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride." It was like a bucket of ice was dumped on her and she was pulled back to the here and now.
Robin held her hand and pulled her closer to him. He smiled softly at her and leaned in for the kiss. As their lips met in a lingering kiss, a lone tear fell from her eye. Her fate is sealed. She's a married woman now.
A/N: No beta so I apologize for the mistakes. Thanks for reading, my dears! Tell me what you think. xo