Ohgodohgodohgod. Shitshitshitshit. Holy crap what am I gonna dooo ohgodohgod.
This was the thought pattern that Alfred had adopted since the incident the night prior. He hadn't slept a wink the entire night, and now he was suffering from exhaustion AND embarrassment. He was currently in his first period class early, head in his hands sitting in the back of the classroom. He prayed no one would come over to him or try to talk to him that morning, but he knew how slim a chance that was. People ALWAYS wanted to talk to him.
Alfred was positive Amelia had at least told some people what he did last night, and news spread quickly in this school. Soon enough everyone would know that he, Alfred Jones, captain of the football team, had screamed out the student body president's name instead of Amelia's while having sex. He was such an idiot; he should've known he'd slip up eventually. Like seriously, he'd been crushing on Arthur for like, 3 years at that point. He just wasn't prepared to fail so spectacularly. He knew he wanted to at least muster the courage to ask the guy out eventually, but in no way was he prepared to have Arthur find out second-handedly that he was the main subject of Alfred's fantasies. He knew Arthur was going to find out this fact one way or another sometime that day, if he hadn't heard already.
Alfred slouched even farther into his chair. If it weren't for his stupid geometry test that day, he would've totally skipped school entirely. But of course this particular test counted for like, a fourth of his final grade! He had no choice but to begrudgingly drive to school that day, knowing it would torture. All he had to do was take the stupid test, not stand out too much, make sure he didn't see Arthur or Amelia, and make it home safe and sound after the final bell. Yes, that's all he had to do. Piece of cake. Righto.
But there was no way he'd even be able to concentrate on the test with how much he was freaking out that day! Okay, calm down. No eye contact with anyone. Students began to file into the classroom, much to Alfred's chagrin. He still hadn't mentally prepared himself for the day. Maybe he'd call it the Ultimate Day of Hell, or Panic Attack Central, or Social Exile Extravaganza. Eh, he'd think of it later, right now he was too busy pulling his hood over his head and securing the drawstrings tightly so that his hood obscured most of his face.
Tiffany, head of the newspaper committee, spotted Alfred first and sauntered her way to the back of the classroom to join him.
She tapped him on the shoulder, cheeky grin spread across her face. "Helloooo, Alfred!" She started. "How are you today?"
About 20 seconds passed with no response from Alfred, and even though his hood covered most of his entire face it looked like his body was trying to melt into the rigid blue chair. "Oh c'mon Alfred! At least answer me! I just wanna chat."
"Not really in the mood today, Tiffany. Please go."
She huffed at him and narrowed her eyes. No one brushed her aside just like that. "I just wanted to tell you about a new burger place that opened in town!"
At that, Alfred's head shot up and he undid the drawstrings of his sweatshirt and pulled the hood away from his face, he couldn't breathe in that thing anyway. "Really? Oh my god, where?!" He exclaimed in excited awe.
"Okay so now that I have your attention, I'd like to start conducting the 8:05 am interview I scheduled for you this morning."
"...what..." Alfred's posture sunk again, realizing he'd been played. "Uh, I didn't consent to any interview, Tiffany." As he looked her over he noticed the pen behind her ear and the clipboard with notepaper attached to it resting on her lap. She looked very official. Like the perfect interviewer *cough* life ruiner *cough*.
"Let's begin. Question number one, exactly how gay are you for Arthur Kirkland? Any percentage will do." She smiled with crazy eyes. "And don't worry, whatever you tell me is completely confidential! So make sure you give me as many details as possible."
Bullshit Alfred thought, making the hasty decision to get the hell out of that classroom. Perhaps it would be best to chance skipping his classes and only attending his geometry test later that day. That way, he could avoid as many people as possible. Perfect. Good idea Alfred.
He bolted upright, grabbed his backpack and flew out of the classroom. Tiffany could kiss his ass before she got any information out of him. And for anyone confused, Tiffany would never be allowed anywhere near Alfred's perfect ass. He heard her squawk indignantly after his escape but he did not stop until he had made it safely down the hallway and into a small broom closet.
Hopefully no custodians would need a broom or something from in there. He kicked some dustpans out of the way and was pleased to find a chair occupying some space in the broom closet. With the door shut tight, he deemed it safe to rest on the chair in peace. What he didn't realize was that the chair only had three legs, hence it being tucked away in a closet, and by resting his entire weight on the chair he ended up toppling over face-first into a mop. And it was still a little wet, and it touched his mouth EW. It kind of tasted like that one time he mixed grape juice and milk together in second grade because he was curious what it would taste like. It ended up becoming his biggest regret, well then again, the whole Arthur Amelia Sex Name Mixup the day before was probably worse than that, but still, milky grape juice was pretty nasty.
He decided to try to sit on the three-legged chair once more, this time being mindful not to rest too much weight on the wrong side. It was really dark in that broom closet; Alfred hated the dark, but he also felt a lot safer in there than he did anywhere else at the moment. Still, he knew he had to come out of the closet eventually, and he was not looking forward to it. Oh shit, he didn't mean that in a gay kind of way! He meant literally! UGH he wasn't even safe in his own thoughts anymore. He couldn't get away from the gay.
The final bell for first period rang. He had never skipped classes like this before, how badass of him. The minutes strolled on in that dark closet and Alfred became increasingly bored, so he decided to play with his phone to entertain him. After intense games of Candy Crush, Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, and Pocket Frogs, he checked the clock to see how much time had gone by. ONLY FIVE MINUTES!? CRAP! This day was gonna suck big fat monkey dick.
A/N: The whole grape juice milk thing is a personal story of mine I decided to throw in the story for Alfred. But yeah seriously I was a stupid second grader.