July 22

"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud."

~ Coco Chanel

I am pretty. I am smart. I am strong. But I am not the prettiest, or the smartest, or the strongest. See that's the thing, I'm not the best at anything. I don't stand out, I'm just here…I'm not perfect.

Because perfect girls don't make mistakes, and tonight I made the worst kind.

"So, how has the hottest girl in camp been?"

I smirked, looking up to green eyes and a grin. I was dancing with Chance Reid, son of Dionysus, a boy who was definitely not my boyfriend.

"The hottest girl at camp?" I wiggled my eyebrows flirtatiously, masking my thoughts from him. Because part of me wanted to think he was right, about being the hottest girl, but the rest of me was screaming he was wrong. I wasn't the hottest…I was just here. He must've meant my twin sister Rylie. "Good…did you miss me?"

I had been gone for the past weeks, and thoughts of the recent quest lingered, but I pushed them away. And continued to dance to the toxic music.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Chance twirled me, and I watched his grin turn into a smirk.

"Good. I would have been disappointed if you hadn't…I missed you" Sure, I hadn't missed him the same way I missed my boyfriend Michael, but details were details.

"You did?" He smirked. I blushed.

"Only a little."

And the music continued to give me a headache but I continued to dance regardless. And my blonde curls kept swinging around every time he spun me. Something in me kept going. And everything was good, dare I say perfect ?

But the best laid schemes of Mice and Men often go awry.

"You know, if you weren't dating one of my friends, I would probably take you upstairs." He leaned close to me, whispering the words that would put a start (and end) to everything.

"You would wouldn't you? It's a shame Mike could kick your ass," I whispered back responding with a smirk; trying to hide the fact I was blushing. Trying to hide it from him, and trying to hide it from myself.

"That's why I'm not going to,"

But things only got worse from there. It went from an idea in Chance's head, to a thought in mine. To suddenly I found my self on his bed. And then I found myself kissing him back.

And the whole time all I could think about was how wrong I felt; yet how right it seemed.

But my heart was beating the whole time, telling me it was time for me to make my own choices. To let my heart do what it wants, telling me to stop being so stuck at a red light.

I kissed him again.

But as soon as the dark haired boy who was my boyfriend opened the door to Chance's room, everything in me shut down. And my heart stopped beating, and told me to feel guilty for what I just did.

I messed up.

To this day, I beat myself up for everything I have ever messed up on. And from now until forever, this will be added to the long list of why reasons I'm not perfect.

And I thought…it was just a dance

And I thought…kisses were harmless

And I thought…I was listening to my heart

I was wrong.

If only I was perfect

Perfect girls are never wrong.