Porter-elf Tidy Situp was having a really, really bad day.
It had taken him YEARS to get a job at Police Plaza, and still it was not what he wanted. At first, he tried to be a transit guard, but he failed (he never knew why, although the inspector had something about him being too stupid). He tried every job: janitor, programmer, even captain, but after almost a year of trying, he finally got a job as a porter. He only did so because his Mamma had threatened him, saying she was going to kick him out of the house and stuff (he didn't care much about living in the street, it was the kicking part that scared him), and it was the only job which didn't require a test.
The job was rather simple, all he had to do was open the door for people wanting to get in or out, but still he hated the job. He wanted a job INSIDE Police Plaza, not outside of it! But still, he was good at it, very good.
He was always known for his patience and calmness, he handled everything: his mother's screams, rude people, even when the goblin revolution broke out, he just sat quietly, drinking his tea and watching TV.
But when a crazy dwarf comes running in, demanding to see Trouble Kelp, it is to test the patience of all.
At first, everything was okay: the dwarf asked politely to come in, saying it was ''a matter of life and death'', and that he needed to go in immediately. Tidy then asked him why he needed to see the commander, and dwarf replied that it was too important to be said out loud. The two then started an argument, with the dwarf screaming ''DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M FAMOUS, YOU KNOW?'' and Tidy trying to call him down. It was all going well (sort of), when the dwarf suddenly exclaimed:
-''You know what? I don't the permission of some stupid little porter! I'm going to see Trouble Kelp and I'm going to do it NOW!''
-''Stupid little porter…? HOW DARE YOU, YOU MEDDLING SON OF A TROLL? I'LL LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE BEST AT MY JOB!''
-''Yeah, I'm sure you are. After all, it must be SO exhausting for your mental faculties to open and close doors all day. I'd give you a medal, if I had one''.
Okay, that was IT! There was no way he was going to let that smelly dwarf get away after that one!
With all his strength, Tidy jumped on the dwarf, trying to punch his face. There were punches and kicks, but luckily, the dwarf was just as confused as him. It took him a while, but he finally managed to hit a right hook on his nose, which knocked the dwarf down.
''Hah! That will teach you not to underestimate the power of the porter!''
He began smiling and dancing, happy about having won his first fight.
In fact, he was so happy that he didn't even noticed when the dwarf smiled and pointed his butt at him.
There were a lot of things capable of making Holly Short angry: trolls, the cold, small, dark spaces.
But I assure you, none of these things were worse than the fresh, invigorating smell of dwarf fart in the morning.
The minute the smell penetrated her nostrils, she felt like blacking out (which a lot of people actually did), luckily, she managed to stay put by grabbing a safety bar holding her breath until the smell dissipated.
The next thing she did was run to the entrance, expecting to find some crazy terrorist attacking Police Plaza, but only found a crowd of fairies passed out on the stone floor and Mulch Diggums with an innocent look on his face.
-''Hi, Mulch''- she said, in a rather calm tone
-''Hiya, Holls. Everything OK with you?''
-''Yeah''- she was just helping him up when her gaze fell on an unconscious Tidy Situp-''What did you do to him?''
-''Oh, nothing. He was just too close to the danger zone, if you get what I mean.''
-''Oh''
Slowly, he got up, shaking off the dust from his clothes and offering his hand to her:
-''Now, if you excuse me, I have a business meeting to attend''.
As they walked the halls of Police Plaza, people pointed at them, as they always did when Holly was on the scene. She was always a celebrity, but after the Atlantis incident, both she and Artemis had become strangely more popular.
''So-she asked- why do you want to see Trouble, anyway?''
-''Well, let's just say that I've been hearing some interesting rumors on the street lately. Rumors that I think Kelp would like to know''.
-''Wow, since when did you became the good guy?''
-''My dear-he said, imitating a British accent- I'm a detective, it's my job to be the good guy''.
They both smiled, and after walking a little longer, they finally arrived at Trouble Kelp's office.
Trouble's secretary, a cranky little pixie known as ''Trudy'' was sitting at her desk, her piercing eyes instantly locking on them. According to Foaly, she was the only fairy in the world who didn't knew who Artemis and Holly were, so she always considered weird when people mentioned their names, stating that ''whatever these two did, I couldn't have been THAT important!''
-''We want to see Commander Kelp-stated Holly-It's really important''
-''He's busy-she responded''
Holly sighted
-''Tell him that Holly Short wants to see him''
Trudy's eyes immediately widened, and for a moment, she appeared susprised
''Oh…yes, I'll tell him you're here. He told me to always let you trough''.
She quickly left the room and Mulch looked at her with a malicious smile
''Hah-he said- I just knew he'll let us trough, after all, how can he refuse a visit from his girlfriend?''
-I'm NOT his girlfriend!-Holly replied- We went out in ONE date… wait, how do you know about this?''
-''I have my sources''
-''Your sources, riiiiiight…please remind me to kill Foaly later, ok?
-I'll make sure to pass on the message. But really, Holly, it's obvious that he likes you, why do you think he hates Artemis so much?
-''He doesn't hates Artemis! It's just some stupid rivalry! And he DOES NOT like me…does he?''
Mulch was about to reply when Trudy suddenly opened the door and let them in. It had been a long time since Holly had come to Trouble's office, and even though he was one of her best friends, it still gave a stage fright feeling to be there.
-''Hol…I mean, Commander Short-said Trouble- I was told you have something to report to me''.
-''Actually-said Mulch, jumping on top of a chair- Holly here is just an escort. I was the one that wanted to talk to you''.
Trouble looked at Holly with puzzled eyes.
-''What's he doing in here?-he asked''
-''Trust me, you're not the only one who wants to know.''
She couldn't blame him for being surprised; after all, anyone who was expecting to talk to Holly Short and ended up with Mulch Diggums was expected to be at least a little reluctant.
-''Very well-he said-What do you have for us, Diggums?''
-''Well-he began'', as you already know, I have a lot of contacts on the streets, and for the last few days, something really weird is happening.
-''Weird?-asked Holly-As in what?''
-As in strange disappearances''
The temperature in the room suddenly dropped, as Mulch's words echoed on both the elf's heads
-''Continue-demanded Trouble''
-For the past two weeks, fairies have been disappearing all over the place, both here and Topsoil. Dwarfs, pixies, elves, even some trolls are totally gone, with not a clue to where they went.
-''Two weeks…-Holly said quietly- the same as my nightmare…
-''Did you say something, Holly?''-asked the Commander
-''Nothing important, sir''
-''As I was saying…''-continued the dwarf-''I first found about this 4 days ago, when a client of mine went missing. I looked everywhere for him, but didn't find anything. Eventually, I decide to dig a little deeper, and then found out about all this mess. It gets worse with each day; people are starting to be afraid to leave their houses. I thought it was to talk to you because…''
-''Because'' what?
-''…because I thought that Opal Koboi was behind it''.
Everyone in the room suddenly became extremely quiet. It was even possible to hear Trudy mumbling to herself in the other room. After some minutes of silence, Trouble finally spoke:
-''Thank you for the information, Diggums. I'll tell everybody to stay on their guard and to report any more disappearances. You can leave now.''
Mulch had already left, but Holly stopped on in front of the door and turned around to face her friend:
-''Trubs, do you really think Opal's behind this?''
-''I don't know, Holly. It could be either Opal trying to get back at us, or really just and unfortunate coincidence. But I'll do my best to find out, I promise''
''You better''.
And then she left.
Mulch was waiting for her outside the office, but instead of heading towards the exit, she turned to the opposite way, to Foaly's new underground shuttle port.
-''Hey!-he yelled-Where are you going?''
-''Topsoil-she responded-And you're coming too, we've got an old friend to visit''
So, what do you think? Next chapter, we will have the not-so-unexpected appearence of Artemis Fowl The Second and whatever else my mind has planned :)
PS: For those of you who are into anagrams, let's see if you can figure out the little joke I made with Tidy's name :)