"That'll be 40 rupees, Link."

The boy moaned after hearing the price. Was he seriously going to waste his money on a toy that he was probably never going to use longer than a day? Yes. Link dug into his wallet and pulled out a few small jewels known as rupees, the currency of Hyrule.

"Link, why exactly are you buying this toy? Aren't you too old for these things?" Rose, the shop owner asked.

"Yeeeeeah, but you know that those kids would never leave me alone if I didn't have anything to entertain them with!"

"Pff…" Rose shook her head, amused, "just make sure they don't shoot their eyes out!"

"They won't, I promise."

Rose reached behind her and picked up the new slingshot. She gently placed it in Link's hands, and in exchange, Link placed the tiny jewels in the store manager's palm. The boy examined the slingshot a little when he received it. He was sure it was a quality product, but he wouldn't know until he used it.

"By the way," Rose quickly called out, before Link exited the store, "Have you seen your girlfriend lately?"

"My girlfriend?" Link knew exactly who she was talking about, but pretended not to know, hoping to avoid associating himself with that title.

"You know, Ilia! She came in here shopping for a few crafting supplies. I think she is making something for you… it's so sweet!" Rose teased.

Link rolled his eyes, annoyed, but he wasn't above teasing her back, "You know Ms. Rose, Talo and Beth are getting older. I wouldn't be surprised if they started going out any day now!"

"OH GOODNESS NO!" cried Rose as she covering her ears to block the blasphemy spewing from Link's mouth, "That delinquent will not get his dirty little hands on MY baby!"

"I beg to differrrrrrrrr!" Link sung as he exited Rose's store. His mood rose quickly. He never hated any of the townsfolk; in fact he loved all of them, including the children. He merely found them bothersome, especially when they teased him about his friendship with Ilia.

The two were best friends; after all, they grew up together. Ilia was always a bit mischievous, but since she was her father's only daughter, she got away with everything, leaving Link to take all the blame. Link and Ilia together? No way! That would totally ruin their friendship.

…but then again… Link would be lying if he tried to say that he wasn't attracted to her. Ilia was a chubby little girl just a few years ago, but… she grew up nicely. Her skin was as smooth and creamy as milk. Her eyes shined in the sunlight, and glowed in the moonlight. And her breasts seemed to grow larger every single day he saw…

"WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT?!"

Link smacked himself in the head, both to try and knock the naughty thoughts out and to punish himself for even thinking about Ilia's… assets. AH! Maybe he can just think of her like a sister! …No… that just makes things even weirder. If he could think of her like a sister, he would have called her that a long time ago, probably at the same time that Link began claiming Rusl and Uli as his uncle and aunt.

Link sees Rusl and Uli as his close family, even though they are not related at all. Rusl was once his dad's best friend, and Uli and his mom used to gossip every day. Ilia… as awesome as she was… couldn't be included in that family. …maybe Link always liked her. Maybe he needs to meet more girls.

"LINK!" called the voice of a woman.

Link barely got away from the store before he noticed his pregnant aunt Uli, waddling towards him.

"Aunt Uli, you can never stay put, can you?" the boy joked as he went to hug his adoptive aunt.

"Now dear, you know if I stayed put, nothing would get done around the house!" she smiled, "Has my husband told you what he was planning yet?"

"Yeah. He's, of course, the town representative, again, and he is going off to Hyrule to have a jolly good time and meet princesses, again."

Uli rolled her eyes, "No. And I'll be damned if he goes out to have a jolly good time and meet princesses without me!" Uli paused a moment before continuing, "He is thinking about sending you in his stead. Rusl thinks you may be mature enough to have a 'jolly good time' this year."

Link's eyes widened. "Wh…WHAT?! Uh… that 'jolly good time thing?' I was totally joking!"

"I won't say a word Link. I was just hoping that you were ready in case Rusl did allow you to go. You seem excited."

"I AM excited! Do you know how much I always wanted to see the city?!

"Oh course I know," Uli replied, "I hear that the Hylian Players are performing Ruto's Battle soon. Hopefully you could see it."

"I'd love to see everything, if possible. But I can't stay long, Aunt Uli, I have to get back to the kids and play with toys."

"Oh? Well come to my house for a moment. I have to give you the fishing rod that Colin made."

The new King of Twilight, Zant, looked towards the northern horizon, as he stood atop a tower portion of his new summer home, Hyrule Castle. He leaned on the battlement and smiled, but nobody would have known this, due to his large elaborate mask.

"It's beautiful, isn't it princess?" Zant calmly asked the woman next to him.

The young woman, Zelda, merely scoffed at Zant's comment.

"Oh right, of course. I meant Former Princess Zelda," he corrected himself and chuckled.

This only worsened Zelda's mood. In fact, the comment almost brought her to tears, but she could never show such emotion, especially not in front of her greatest enemy. Her father taught her that, how showing signs of weakness would leave her open to abuse. She should always stay strong, even when the future looked bleak.

But… the future was bleak, and it was all her fault. She lost her entire kingdom in just a few moments. How? By surrendering. Her father would have never done such… but her father wasn't there. She was alone, confused, and scared.

Zant turned to look at Zelda, and saw a face that struggled to hide its emotions. He knew Zelda was depressed and afraid, and it amused him. He smiled to himself again. He smiled at his power.

"Dear Zelda," The Twilight King began, "you shouldn't look so sad… after all… twilight is the most beautiful time of day. Now you get to see it all the time! "

Indeed, twilight covered the area around the castle, but it wasn't what Zelda was used to. This wasn't like the time of day, but rather it was like a twisted, malevolent fog. It wasn't beautiful at all, but instead frightening and otherworldly. It made the air thick and difficult to breathe, it made her head feel woozy; it made her entire body feel as though it were fazing away. And she probably would fade away, had she not be chosen to bare the mark of the gods. Heh… and what a choice they made. How disappointing.

The Twilight King tip toed closer to the princess and grabbed her rear. Zelda's eyes grew wide, surprised by the blatant violation, but she didn't do anything to stop it. What could she do?

Zant smiled even wider upon discovering that he could have his way with the princess. Taking advantage of the situation, Zant placed his other hand on one of Zelda's breasts. He first squeezed it gently, and then went on to kneading them both roughly. The twilight king giggled on the inside as he groped the princess, he was very easily amused. Zelda on the other hand, finally shed a single tear. She knew where this was going to lead, and she couldn't take it.

"Are you still a virgin, Ms. Zelda?" Zant asked.

Zelda said nothing.

"ANSWER ME!"

"Y-yes…"

"Well… Looks like I'm going to have to correct that."

The lower section of the Twilight King's mask then suddenly opened, revealing a black skinned mouth. The mouth licked it's lips, and Zant motioned his head towards Zelda's. His hands moved up from Zelda's chest, and grabbed her top, ready to rip her dress apart with one mo-

"YOUR HIGHNESS!"

Zant let go of Zelda and diverted his attention to the twili solder approaching them.

"What?! I'm busy!"

"King Bulblin is here! He is awaiting his orders," The soldier answered.

"Bother bother… fine. Take the Ms. Zelda here back to her cell. I'm coming down to deal with that disgusting creature."

Zelda did not know who King Bulblin was, but she was grateful. As she was escorted back to her cell, she held back the tears. Her father was dead, she lost her kingdom, and she was nearly raped. She could only pray to the goddesses for change. She needed a hero. She needed hope.

"OWW!" shouted Link as a stray seed smacked him just above the eye, "are you trying to shoot my eye out?!"

"You just got in the way of my aim!" Talo said as an excuse.

Link snorted. Of course it was a bad idea to buy them a slingshot, but nooooooooo, he just had to buy it and play with them.

"I'm getting better anyway! I'll have this thing down pat in no…"

"It's my turn!" Beth soon interjected.

"I'M NOT FINISHED YET!"

"YOU ALREADY SHOT 5 SEEDS! YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SHOOT THREE!"

"WELL… well… … YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT!"

"YOU STUPID, STUPID BOY! GIVE ME THAT SLINGSHOT!"

"This is going to go on all day," Malo suddenly said to facepalming Link, "Mr. Rusl came by and dropped something off for you. I'm sure it's more interesting than watching them fight."

"Thanks," Link simply said before walking away. He just couldn't understand how Malo of all people, became so mature. But whatever.

Taking Malo's advice, Link entered his treehouse in search of the item that Rusl delivered. He took a look to the left and gasped. Uncle Rusl left him a newly carved wooden sword. The boy's eyes widened as he examined it. Though made from wood, the sword's edged were sharp, and its blade tip could stab through something about as well as a steel blade.

A note was tied to the sword's hilt, reading: I had this one just in case. Let's try our best not to break this one.

"Feh… I'll try Uncle Rusl," Link said, before he tied the blade to his back.

SMASH!

A seed ran through Link's glass window and landed beside his feet. The goatherd's anger level rose.

"TALO!"

"Don't worry about it Link! You have a job! You can easily fix it!" said the boy in response.

Link pulled back out his wooden blade and sprinted out of his house. Thank the gods that he was about to leave soon. He wouldn't have to deal with these damn kids for a while.