Scene 2/2

The dream kept repeating and repeating, circling in his brain like a pup chasing its tail. He couldn't stop it or make sense of it, either. A voice was murmuring in the dream, a woman's voice he thought he should know. But she spoke so softly and said so few words, he couldn't tell for certain. He could see no one, not even a familiar costume or form to identify her.

"Goodbye, Hercules." the voice murmured, sounding wistful and deep with regret. "Goodbye."

Hercules struggled to wake up and look for the speaker, even though he knew he'd dreamt both the woman and her words. He was leaning against the sun warmed tree that shaded most of Alcmene's courtyard. It was full day, well past noon, his own world as bright and real as the dream world had been dark and somber. A chill lingered from the dream, until he heard his mother calling him into the house.

"You're just bored, Hercules." his stepfather Jason joked with the demigod.

"You've been visiting almost a week and your imagination is looking for something to set you off on the road again."

"Maybe so." Hercules shrugged. "I am feeling restless. But I can't put my finger on the reason why."

"Well, there's always something to do be done around here. You could tear down and rebuild the barn again or drain and refill the water tower, or I don't know . . . finish repairing that blasted wall." Jason grinned, as Hercules groaned.

"No, I thought I'd let you do that. You're the man of the house, now."

"So he is, Hercules, and he's your stepfather now, so lets see a little respect, please." Alcmene tried scolding her son, but laughed musically instead. "When do you expect Iolaus will be back, son?  Weren't the two of you going fishing or something like that?"

"Yes, I was expecting him last night, or this morning, actually.  I'm sure he has a good reason for being late."

"No, I don't." Iolaus answered, bringing everyone's attention to the open doorway. "I'm sorry to be late, and I'm sorry to be so abrupt. I wish I had good news to excuse myself with. "

"Iolaus, come and sit down." Alcmene insisted, scanning the hunter's face worriedly. "You haven't been traveling all night, have you?"

"No," Iolaus managed a half hearted smile for the woman he'd often called  his second mother. "But I was up most of the night talking with a friend, with Gabrielle, in fact."

Hercules smiled, thinking Iolaus was simply holding back news of some campaign or adventure they were needed to join. But then he took a closer look at his friend's face. The hunter returned his gaze steadily, but soon averted his eyes. Something was very wrong and he didn't want to discuss it with either Alcmene or Jason present, Hercules guessed.

"Mother, will you excuse Iolaus and me, please? We need to plan our fishing trip, if we're going to make up for lost time now that he's here. C'mon, Iolaus, we'll raid the larder for something to eat while we talk, about fishing."

"Yeah," Iolaus agreed, nodding weary acquiescence "fishing."

"Well, of course I'll excuse you, Hercules." Alcmene began. "But Iolaus looks tired enough to fall down where he stands. Maybe you should . . "

"No, Alcmene, thanks very much." Iolaus hugged her and visibly forced a wider smile onto his features.  "We'll just take some of this wonderful bread, and cheese, and fruit, and stew, right here, and go out in the courtyard and get out of your way with it." The hunter grabbed food from the table as he spoke, piling it into Hercules' arms. The bowl of stew Jason and Hercules hadn't managed to decimate before he arrived, Iolaus reserved to himself.

Giving Alcmene a loving, quick kiss on the cheek, he nodded to Jason and walked outside again, trailed by the son of Zeus.

In the courtyard the two friends sat silently for a while. But for once their silence wasn't very companionable. Hercules said nothing because he wasn't sure how to break through Iolaus' seeming reluctance. Iolaus said nothing because he was making the most of the meal, never in his life one to turn down good food.  

Finally, the demigod's patience wore thin.

"Okay, your news isn't bad enough to make you lose your appetite. I suppose that's a good sign." Hercules growled. "But it is bad enough that you don't want to tell Jason or my mother. Are you planning to tell me, or should I send a messenger bird to Gabrielle, wherever she and Xena may possibly be?"

"Hercules," Iolaus shook his head and gulped the last of the ale his friend had carried out with all the rest of the meal. Still looking as if he'd rather be flayed alive he said:  "Gabrielle is on her way to Amphipolis. And the reason she's going there is the news I brought back with me. She's taking Xena home to be buried with her younger brother. She's taking Xena there as Xena's last request. Xena was horribly injured fighting some slavers who were trying to carry off practically a whole village' population in the lowlands. Hercules, I promised I would be the one to tell you: Xena died."

Hercules felt the chill of his dream surround him again and the deep, regretful voice sound in his ears. Of course he'd known that voice, he loved it, and the woman it belonged to. But the woman that voice belonged to was hale and hearty and tough as a boars hide shield. The woman warrior that voice belonged to was as strong as any ten or twenty men who tried to face her down. She had a manner and a glance, a grin and a fighters' immovable stance that made her seem immortal.

"Hercules," Xena said in his mind, in his dream. "Goodbye, Hercules."

"No!" the son of Zeus howled, jumping to his feet as if to fight off the idea, the vision. "No!" he gasped, feeling as if  word of her death pulled all the air out of his own lungs. "No, Iolaus. Are you sure? Is Gabrielle sure? Didn't they find, couldn't they find a healer?" he whispered, as the hunter sadly nodded his head in response. "Gods!"

Iolaus took his friend's arm, encouraging him to sit again as he continued.

"Gabrielle took her to a healer, a gifted one. Apparently this was one who saved Xena's life a long time ago. This time, he told Gabrielle no one could help. It was too late." Iolaus told his friend, and then started to leave.

"Wait! "Hercules demanded, sharply. "Where are you going?"

"Herc, I thought you'd want time to sort this through, or at least start. I'm still a little stunned myself and I thought you would want. ."

"To sit by myself and think about another death, another loss, another goodbye?" Hercules shook his head and saw that the hunter looked surprised.

"Iolaus, sometimes I think that if I have to sit alone and think about another one of those I'll go a bit mad! I've done that kind of mourning, and all it did was leave me cold and numb and more alone still."

"Hercules, how can I help?" Iolaus demanded.

"You are helping. And I know this isn't the reaction you expected from me, but its almost as if I had a warning about this. I don't want Xena's death to be what I was warned of, but here it is."

"Gabrielle said it happened so quickly, there was no stopping it. Like fate."

"I'm not sure I believe in fate, Iolaus. But the gods know death can come just when you think your life, your hopes, your whole world is safe and sound. I've known that kind of loss, too."

"I still remember seeing you that morning." Iolaus offered. "You looked as if you had died with Deianeira, with the kids."

"Part of me did.  And I don't have to tell you, I did the furious kind of grieving for them. All that did was scare people away in all directions. Same result, me, alone. Did I ever tell you that I hate alone? No? Well, please, don't leave me alone to deal with this one, my friend. Please."

"Herc,  if that's what you need, I'm here." Iolaus agreed. "I just wasn't sure. I mean.  .  . you loved her."

"So did you." the demigod held his friends' gaze and would not let Iolaus look away. "Iolaus, we've learned and trained and fought and fallen on our faces together. Can't we mourn her together?"

Iolaus slowly nodded, "She was a wonder, wasn't she?  And a horror, at first.  Of course, she never really fooled me. She was just a kid at first, playing war games. Didn't it seem that way to you?"

"Not exactly, but something like that." Hercules felt himself almost smiling at Iolaus' compassionate exaggeration.

"Well, who did she have to show her any different until she met . . .us? Those troop leaders of hers? Those warlords? Ares? Uh, Herc, is this helping?" Iolaus asked his friend, his face a study in confused emotions.

"Yes, it is, thanks. Well, I think it will. The only way I'm going to be able to deal with this is to hear more and talk more and . . . yes, I definitely think, drink some more. Where is that ale barrel? Jason? Mother? C'mon out,  I can hear you worrying!" Hercules called, and the couple emerged a bit shamefacedly from behind the trellis that screened in the courtyard. 

"Now, Iolaus," the demigod directed, when they had resettled as a group to  console one another. "Start from the beginning this time. How is Gabrielle and what is she going to do when she's kept her promise to Xena?"

"She's an amazingly strong young woman." Iolaus told them, thinking of how Gabrielle had thanked him for listening to her vent her grief. "And she honestly isn't sure what she intends to do, now."

"We can send a messenger dove to Amphipolis, or maybe one to Thessaly, she'll probably take that route." Alcmene suggested. "So that Gabrielle knows she's welcome here."

"Yes, that's a great idea, Mother." Hercules agreed. He couldn't imagine the young bard without Xena beside her; so he could only guess how much worse the loss was for her.

"Iolaus, you said Xena was fighting slavers when she was injured? Where was that?" Jason asked.

"In the lowlands, where a village called Cirra burned to the ground some years back."

"Kyrillos is probably buying the slaves from them and selling them out country. He took over that territory." Jason noted. "Iphicles can send word to the local authorities about what's going on there. Something must be done about the slave trade, before there's no one left in the countryside!"

"You're right." Hercules nodded. "The price is getting higher every day. Far too high." He swallowed hard and took another gulp of ale. Something was pushing him to learn every possible detail of this story. He didn't know what or why. It was the same restlessness he'd felt before Iolaus arrived. Slavery was practiced throughout Greece and the known world. Even a son of Zeus couldn't wipe it out of existence by himself. But if ridding his world of even part of the trade in human lives was what he was being driven to do now, settling the score for Xena would only lighten the task for him. It would give him and a great many others a purpose, and a distraction from the worst of their grieving.

They talked and planned and tried hard to comfort each other as the day wore through to night. Eventually Alcmene and Jason left the two younger men still drinking and talking, but now by the dwindling hearth fire. Iolaus finally fell asleep sitting up, his fair head drooping like a child's'. He was worn out from two sleepless nights, which almost made Hercules smile, thinking of how many nights they'd fought or drunk or otherwise entertained themselves till cockcrow.

We're getting on, my friend. the demigod thought as he carefully set Iolaus' feet on a bench and threw one of Alcmene's weavings over his friend.

We may even be growing old, Iolaus Hercules thought. Which is something I can't imagine. Which is something so many of our friends and loved ones will never do. And now, Xena is one of them. Gods, even thinking that hurts!

For a moment, Hercules let himself feel the full extent of that pain. He let it run through him like a sword, play in his hands like a ball of fire and light, surround and try to swallow him like a glassy eyed sea serpent. He let tears slip down his face, feeling their tracks, knowing their ache in his eyes and his throat. He let his hands reach out into nothingness, hoping to find a familiar form and fire. He let his memory sound with words spoken and unspoken between him and the warrior. He let his imagination wonder what would have happened if . . . but only for an instant. That way led to a kind of madness he'd come close to once before; he had no need to revisit it again.

"Good bye, Xena." He whispered in the stillness of his mother's house. "I love you."

Epilogue:

 Fates be damned, there is one more thing I have to do, one more thing I have to know before I can sleep tonight!

 Hercules closed his weary, tear filled eyes and shouted wordlessly for his uncle, the god of the Underworld to speak with him. When they had finished their conversation and the son of Zeus was satisfied with the result, he let himself fall asleep. Whether it was his weariness or the ale or having a new purpose to soothe his restless spirit, Hercules was untroubled by dreams that night or for many nights to come.