Chrollo seemed to be setting himself up as Gyro's enemy for the day. How disappointing. If he'd picked Hisoka, Hisoka would have expected a far more interesting day ahead. But Gyro was unlikely to switch his sights from Chrollo now, considering they were both from Meteor City and everyone from that place seemed to have the attitude of "no one else can pick on you for it, but I'll destroy you for it."
Fuck. Hisoka bit down on his fingernail. "He seems to have a bit of self-hatred, don't you think, Chrollo?"
"You are never going to shut up, are you?" complained Kurapika, turning to him.
"Mad I'm talking to your boyfriend?"
"He's not my boyfriend, shithead!"
Chrollo lifted his book to cover his face again. Hisoka scowled. "You live near him in Meteor City?"
Chrollo set the book down with a thud. "Stop talking about Meteor City. You aren't from there; you don't get to bring it up."
"Are you really from there?" asked Leorio.
Chrollo shrugged. "Yes, and I'm proud of it."
"I wouldn't be," said Illumi. "I've heard all sorts of rumors."
"You do seem the sort to believe anything told to you," Hisoka said.
"Careful," Illumi warned, gaze hardening. "I'm the only one here who doesn't currently want to subject you to Lord of the Flies treatment."
A literature reference. So you're looking for Chrollo's approval. Any approval you can get. I doubt you even realize it, though. Still, Hisoka hadn't expected Illumi to challenge him.
"Yes," said Chrollo. "I'm from Meteor City. I like in an apartment with my friends. It's not like social services gives a fuck."
"Uvogin must rent it," said Hisoka. He'd graduated the year before. "I'm guessing your stealing is to pay for rent, though."
Chrollo folded his arms.
"Let's take a wild guess here," said Hisoka. "Leorio, I know your parents are like, doctors. Must be proud of you, though not so much for your Saturday achievement here. Illumi's parents are overlords of the entire town and I don't just mean financially. Kurapika, your home life must be simply sweet, right? Bet you're really close with your parents."
Kurapika's eyes glimmered. Hisoka leaned forward. Were they going to flash scarlet again? "They died last year. I live with my cousin."
Oh shit. He hadn't expected to hear that.
"Can you stop asking questions and upsetting people now?" Chrollo requested.
Hisoka felt crestfallen. "So you're not wondering about my home life?"
"Did Bozo fuck Pennywise to produce you?" Kurapika retorted.
Hisoka snorted. He guessed he deserved it after making the boy talk about his dead parents. "Actually, it's more like your situation fucked Chrollo's situation. I don't know if my parents are dead or alive. I never met them. I have foster parents, but honestly I'm not home enough to remember where they live."
"You're full of shit," said Kurapika. "Then why would you be here?"
"It's cold out and I wanted a place to sleep?"
"Then why are you torturing all of us instead of sleeping?"
Chrollo yawned, flipping through his book again. Hisoka slid his eyes towards Illumi, who studied him. "Well, fine. Don't believe me. It's not like society gives a shit about kids who were never wanted in the first place; you're all upstanding citizens."
"Oh, come off your pity party," Kurapika snapped. Chrollo set the book down.
"I'd at least guess your mom was the type to tuck you in every night before she died," Hisoka said. Kurapika's eyes definitely looked redder. "But it's really not so bad. I find lots of people to sleep with. In the active sense and then the literal sense. Free beds and someone to keep you warm."
"Are you crazy?" demanded Leorio.
"Obviously," mumbled Chrollo.
"It's also fun," Hisoka said. "And hey, at least someone wants me."
"They don't want you," Illumi said. "They just want sex."
"Not all of us have the luxury of being picky, Zoldyck." Hot irritation prickled under his skin. "Though I suppose I shouldn't have characterized your home as a luxury. I've seen those bruises on your arms."
"It's nothing I don't deserve."
Shit, Hisoka hadn't expected Illumi to just cop to it. Chrollo, Kurapika, and Leorio all swiveled to look at him.
"It's training," said Illumi. "Spare the rod and spoil the child. They are making me the best I can be, and I'm grateful."
"Right," said Hisoka, struggling not to gape. "That's why they beat you."
"Is that why you beat Killua?" Leorio interrupted. "Because I'm well aware of that."
Illumi blinked. "It's expected. If I don't, Dad will. And he'll be harsher. I only want Killua to—"
"Jesus Christ," Hisoka said. He reached out, palm against Illumi's throat.
Illumi jerked back. "What are you doing?"
"Checking to see that you have a pulse and are actually alive. That sounds like something a robot would say. Or a puppet."
Illumi's brow furrowed. "I am clearly a person. I am sitting here, talking to you."
"What about Alluka?" Leorio cut in. "Killua said your mom locks her up."
"Alluka is a boy."
"Alluka is transgender," retorted Kurapika.
"Rude of you, Illumi," Hisoka said with a scowl.
"Fine," said Illumi. "My parents won't like calling her that, though. They don't really like any of us talking to her. She's mentally ill. Killua loves her, though. Kalluto—"
"Are these parents or jail wardens?" Hisoka demanded.
"Shut up!"
"The beds of strangers are definitely preferable," Hisoka declared.
"You'd really sleep with a stranger?" asked Kurapika.
"Yeah? It feels good." Hisoka shrugged. Well, mostly. And it was at least something that made him feel blood running through his veins, feel each breath harsh in his throat, feel sweat on the back of his neck and know that he was capable of something.
"You need help."
"None of you are any better," Hisoka taunted. "Except Leorio. Good job developing productive, healthy coping mechanisms, dude."
Leorio moaned into his hands.
"Anyways," said Hisoka. "I'm getting out of here. Who wants to come on an adventure?"
"On a what? You're what?" eked out Leorio.
"You hold down the fort," said Hisoka. "Although if Gyro comes in here while we're all gone, I'm sure he won't be very happy with you either. But I have something fun for all of us in my locker."
"I'm not letting you smoke pot in here," snapped Leorio.
Hisoka held his hands up, getting to his feet. He moonwalked backwards. Illumi hesitated, and then got to his feet. Chrollo swore and set his book down. Hisoka smirked. He looked back at the two pretending to be good. Well, one pretending to be good, one weirdly, actually, probably, good.
Kurapika got to his feet, casting Leorio a guilty look. Leorio rolled his eyes.
Hisoka checked that the coast was clear before ducking down the hallway. The others followed. Hisoka made his way to his locker, heels clacking on the linoleum floor. Illumi made no sound when he walked, like an assassin. Chrollo's boots made soft thuds, and Kurapika's slippers were almost as quiet as Illumi's.
He found his locker and yanked it open. "Nothing worth stealing, I assure you, Lucilfer."
"Wasn't contemplating it," Chrollo responded. Kurapika glowered at him.
Hisoka fumbled through the mess that was piled in his locker, including a change of clothes, cologne, an empty plastic coffee cup, and more. He searched for what he wanted, shoving a box of condoms at Kurapika. "Hold this."
"No!" Kurapika squeaked when he realized what it was. "That's disgusting—"
"Found it," Hisoka said, pulling what he'd been looking for off the top shelf. A giant pack of Bungee Gum, his favorite candy, and a package of Texture Surprise.
"That's not anything illegal," Kurapika noted.
"Disappointed?"
"No, I—"
"Who even eats Bungee Gum?" Chrollo asked.
"I do, because it's delicious and if you chew it even after it's lost its flavor, you don't think about how hungry you are," Hisoka responded. "Besides, we can use Texture Surprise to make fake dildos or at the very least do something other than contemplate writing an essay none of us actually plan to write."
"I plan to," Kurapika declared.
Chrollo mumbled something about being better than everyone else again.
Illumi studied Hisoka.
A whistle cut through the air. They all stiffened.
Fuck! Gyro or Pariston must be heading this way.
"I'm going to fucking kill you," Chrollo declared.
"You chose to follow me!" Hisoka hissed back.
"Go!" Illumi shoved them all. They raced down the hallway, only to hear Pariston's jovial voice. "Shit!" They doubled back.
"You go that way," said Chrollo, gesturing to the left. "I'll distract them." He turned towards the right.
"Like hell you will!" snarled Kurapika, charging after him like he would rather be damned to hell than have Chrollo take the fall for him.
Hisoka and Illumi exchanged a glance. They both ran towards the left. Hisoka grabbed Illumi, slamming him back against the wall when the sound of the janitor's cart squeaked against the floor.
"Is all that stuff true?" Illumi whispered.
"Huh?" Hisoka glanced at him.
"About where you live. About Bungee Gum."
"Made me stronger than ever and talented at sex," Hisoka confirmed with a wink. He checked around the corner. Illumi darted after him.
"My parents are the same. They made me strong and smarter, for helping with the business."
"The fuck?" Hisoka stared at Illumi. "It's not the same. Your parents are total dicks and you're too naive to see it."
Illumi's eyes sparked in rage. Man, he would love to see that more. Illumi's eyes looked more alive than Kurapika's when he was pissed. Illumi clearly had fighting talent, in that he'd restrained Hisoka earlier that day, and if he ever got to see more of that—well, that'd be an experience he'd have to savor. "And people are taking advantage of you, too. You know that, right?"
"And I'm taking advantage of their roof and bed," Hisoka replied. "And it feels good, so why does it matter?"
"I hope you actually use those condoms."
"Stop acting like a doctor; you're annoying me. I'll punch you one of these days. Or hours."
"Looking forward to it," replied Illumi as they ducked back into the library.
"Slow down, you fucking idiot!"
Chrollo skidded to a halt. He couldn't believe this blond bastard was chasing after him. Or really, he could, and was annoyed with himself for being surprised. His heart beat faster. Kurapika would never let someone else sacrifice something when he could bleed instead. Why did he have to be so difficult? "Yes?"
"Are you going to get caught? Because Gyro already hates you—"
Chrollo held a finger up to Kurapika's face. He could feel the boy's breath warming his skin. "Only half as much as you hate me, remember?"
"I remember," Kurapika said darkly. His red earring swung beside his jaw. The red was a brilliant hue, but not nearly as striking as his eyes. He only had one now, of course, and probably wore it today directly to remind Chrollo what he stole.
Chrollo studied him, and then turned on his heel and stalked off. Sure enough, Kurapika followed. "You just want to pretend you're better than everyone else."
"I do not! I am not!"
"You aren't, and you know it, but you think you should be," Chrollo said, hesitating and listening for the whistling. To the left. He ducked towards it.
Kurapika rolled his eyes. "You barely know me; what makes you—"
"I barely know you," said Chrollo, pausing at looking at him. "But I know your type. Well." He headed towards the cafeteria.
Kurapika winced, face reddening as he realized he was still carrying Hisoka's box of condoms. Chrollo smirked. He doubted Kurapika had ever used one in his life. "Well, I know your type."
"And what is that?" Chrollo snapped. Part of him wanted a concrete answer. He had no idea. Leader? To his troupe. Bookworm, to himself, and good student, Meteor City trash, and yet he felt like he still couldn't see himself except in a clouded mirror that distorted his reflection.
"Arrogant prick who thinks himself about others and damn how others feel—"
"Oh, so you mean you?"
"I'm not—"
"It's the same—"
Chrollo whirled around, half intending to kick the other boy. But he stopped.
"What?" Kurapika snapped.
"Your eyes," Chrollo said, mesmerized again. The glowed a fiery crimson, like blood and like rubies, like fire and like sunset.
Kurapika covered his eyes.
"Why do you hide them?" Chrollo asked.
"What?" Kurapika recoiled. "Because—they say—"
"So you always do what you're told?"
"No! Just—they're—they could be a danger—my parents were murdered because of—I used to get made fun of for—people call us monsters—people wanted to steal my parents' eyes—" Kurapika stopped.
"Shit," Chrollo breathed. His blood felt like ice. Murdered?
"Don't bring that up," Kurapika insisted. His eyes glowed even brighter.
You love them, don't you? Your eyes are deepening because of it. "Your eyes are beautiful," Chrollo said.
"Huh?" Kurapika gaped at him. "Wh—why would you say that? It doesn't make any sense; I hate you and you hate me—"
That's not true! "I never said I hated you; I've only said that your hostility is annoying."
"You haven't said those exact words."
"Your hostility and pettiness are annoying."
Kurapika snorted.
"I can't hate anything beautiful," Chrollo remarked. He watched Kurapika's face for his reaction.
"I'm not a thing," Kurapika snapped. "I'm a person. That's exactly the attitude that got my parents killed. And you—you said you steal, but do you ever think about who you're stealing from and what they're dealing with, how hard you're making their life?"
Could he try to explain now? Make Kurapika see? Make himself see and understand? "My life is—"
"Hard, so why do you have to make the world even harder instead of trying to—"
For God's sake! "Why do you have to talk down to me?" Chrollo snapped. "I'm a person, not a thing!"
Kurapika blanched.
"Who's down there?" bellowed Gyro's voice.
Shit. Chrollo backed up. "Get back to the library. I'll meet you there."
"No fucking—"
"Go! Please." Chrollo slammed his hands against the lockers as he ran, ensuring Gyro would follow him and leave the others alone. Kurapika appeared to have listened. Huh. Maybe he was really serious about trying to follow the rules, more serious than Chrollo assumed him to be in his obvious hypocrisy. How interesting.
You have such a chance. Don't let your hypocrisy swallow you whole, little scarlet eyed kid.
"You little—" Gyro's hands snaked out, grasping Chrollo's shoulder. He threw him back against the wall.
Chrollo's head smacked against the plaster. For a moment he saw stars. He couldn't let it faze him. He wanted to see how far Gyro would go, how far he could go. "Escalating to physical violence, now? Isn't that prohibited by law?"
In truth, he and Gyro had crossed paths since he was in elementary school, when he was wreaking havoc in Meteor City despite being on the best track for a scholarship to this school. And Gyro had hated him ever since. And Chrollo had been fascinated by him ever since. A man who escaped Meteor City, but could never remotely be free of it. Why, and how? Who did Gyro think he was? Was it remotely similar to how Chrollo saw himself? What was that, anyway?
"Come with me," Gyro ordered, face darkening.
Chrollo obeyed, if only because he was curious. Gyro marched him back to the library, flinging open the door. Chrollo exhaled when he saw Kurapika sitting in his seat next to Leorio, a guilty look pinching his features. Hisoka even winced, which felt like salt in a wound Chrollo didn't know he had.
"Get your things," Gyro ordered.
"Huh?" Chrollo stared.
"Get your things!"
Chrollo's hands flew up. He moonwalked towards the table and grabbed the books.
"Not those!" Gyro lunged, ripping them out of his hands. Kurapika rose halfway out of his seat.
"But I didn't bring a backpack," Chrollo said. "Got nothing else. Meteor City, remember?"
Gyro's eyes narrowed. Hisoka snorted.
"You think he's funny?" Gyro asked. "You think this is something to laugh at? I'll give you something to laugh at. Go visit Chrollo Lucilfer in ten years. He'll be sitting in a prison alone."
"I'd escape," Chrollo said, careful to sound bored. He could still feel Kurapika watching him and didn't want to seem flustered.
"He's too hot to be alone," Hisoka replied. "Even I know that."
"A prostitute in prison? Seems appropriate that he'll die of AIDS there," said Gyro.
Chrollo stiffened. He knew there was an AIDS crisis in Meteor City. He often wondered if that was what happened to his mother, but he'd never know for sure.
"Isn't that sexual harassment, sir?" asked Kurapika.
"Shut up, Kurta." Gyro jabbed his finger at Chrollo. "None of your family, none of your friends, will have any memory of you, Lucilfer. No one will care about you. You will be forgotten. It's the destiny of everyone from Meteor City, but especially trash like the likes of you. You're even more putrid for not even trying."
Illumi's jaw dropped.
"That isn't true. My friends will remember me. Or at the very least what I taught them," said Chrollo. "That's more important."
Gyro threw his head back and laughed. "No, they won't. You want to be remembered yourself, but the only reason you say you don't is because you know it won't happen. You know you're trash, and you know you don't deserve any space in your friends' memories. You deserve to be forgotten. Where are they today? Why aren't they here breaking you out? Why did you even come here today, when you usually don't show up to Saturday detentions unless it's to break one of your friends out? They don't give a damn about you or your message. You have no way to fight that: it's your fate, it's been your fate since you were born to a pathetic whore most likely, and you can't fight it!"
Fuck you! Chrollo felt Kurapika's eyes on him. His face burned. "Maybe I'll live on in Kurapika's hateful memories," he heard himself say.
"Really?" muttered Kurapika.
"May I inquire as to where we send charity checks for your therapy bills, Mr. Gyro?" requested Hisoka.
Gyro looked as if he was about to explode. "Come with me, Lucilfer."
"I'm coming." Chrollo sauntered towards him even though his spine felt held together by rusted screws. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! He glanced back at the rest of them as Gyro shoved him out of the room. Illumi's jaw hung open.
It wasn't true. He knew it.
It was just words. Sticks and stones to break his bones, but words could never hurt.
Words didn't matter.
Then why does your legacy have a chance with your friends? What are you, what are books, except words?
Gyro pushed open a door down the hallway. A custodial closet. He gestured. "Get in."
Chrollo rolled his eyes, sitting on the floor. He fought a scowl.
"You think you're a hot shit, don't you?" Gyro snarled. "Well, you're not. You're a piece of shit, that's what you are. That's what everyone from Meteor City is."
"Is this you speaking in your experience, or you with daddy issues after your dad revealed he hated you as a kid? The story still lives in infamy, even in a place like that," Chrollo taunted. His voice shook.
"Listen to me," Gyro said. "You're worthless. Everyone in this place knows it. You have a scholarship, okay, but it's not going to last long if I have anything to say about it. You and I both know you have no interest in making your life better, in climbing out of the bowels of that trash dump like I did. Because I have brains and you have nothing but your friends who are just using you like you're using them to feel like your pathetic life has some kind of meaning. It doesn't."
Chrollo thought of Machi and Feitan and Phinks, of all their times running the street together, sleeping on Uvogin's floor, drinking cheap beer and laughing, of Feitan stealing him a rare copy of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Books lasted. So couldn't he, right? Couldn't he? "Think what you want."
"Yeah?" Gyro crouched, bringing his face threateningly close to Chrollo's. His breath smelled of sauerkraut and horseradish. "I'll see that you know it some day, too, if it's the last thing that I do. You're nothing more than a piece of shit, and you're worthless, and you know it too. That's why you do what you do." Gyro got to his feet, backing up. "Coward." He slammed the door. The lock clicked.
Chrollo just gaped after him. You are—
You never did leave Meteor City. You're still—even now—just like that—
You are what I will become. And Hisoka will wind up in jail and Illumi will be his father and Leorio will be a doctor and Kurapika will be a teacher here until he dies young from stress. There's no hope.
Fuck you. Fuck you anyways. Fuck you.
He tilted his head up. The lights glared down at him, and so did the weak tiles. Chrollo got to his feet, leaping onto the random bureau. It only took him five or so minutes to crawl through the tiled ceiling on his way back to the library, like he was some kind of action hero in a shonen manga.
The tiles gave way underneath him. He tumbled. His elbow slammed into the ground. Powder filled his nose. The tile shattered underneath him. The carpet burned his knees, having scraped them.
"Holy shit!" shrieked Leorio's voice.
Chrollo coughed, shoving the broken tile off himself and wiping damn white dust from his coat. He got to his feet. Even Hisoka was nodding as if impressed.
"Are you crazy?" exclaimed Kurapika.
"The hell is going on in there?" bellowed Gyro's voice.
"Shit!" Chrollo shoved the tiles behind one of the tables. Kurapika rolled his eyes. Chrollo ducked down, crawling into the space between Kurapika and Leorio. Footsteps echoed. Chrollo tried to stifle his breaths.
Kurapika had nice legs, clad in white pants.
Well, this is your chance, Kurta. Want me to go down, or not?
We're the same.
"What the hell was that ruckus?" Gyro bellowed. Chrollo's shoulder ached.
"Could you describe the ruckus, sir?" Illumi asked.
"You watch your tongue, Zoldyck!"
Now his neck was pinching and spasming. He twisted. His cheekbone bumped into Kurapika's knee. Kurapika jabbed his knee out, colliding with Chrollo's nose. He grunted.
"What was that?"
Hacking echoed. Kurapika and Leorio both. "A cold," Kurapika eked out. "Got no throat lozenges." He stepped on Chrollo's fingers.
Motherfucker! Chrollo bit the inside of his mouth to keep from screaming.
"Watch it," Gyro warned again. Footsteps sounded as if they were heading towards the door. The door slammed.
Fuck. Chrollo blew out his breath. "Why did you step on me?"
"A Freudian move, really," Hisoka mused.
"Shut up!" Kurapika bellowed. "Because you bumped into me!"
"It wasn't on purpose!" Chrollo crawled out from under the desk. His nose was dripping blood. He leaned back against the tables behind him. "Did you have to break it?"
"I didn't break it," Kurapika insisted.
"He didn't," Illumi said. "There'd have to be more force and it doesn't look swollen—"
"I didn't ask for science," Chrollo mumbled, closing his eyes and using his sleeve to wipe the blood away.
"So," said Hisoka. "Now that we're all together again. Bungee Gum time?"