A/N

So it goes without saying that I don't own Rocky either. The scene to which I refer can be viewed on youtube (simply search for 'Rocky Balboa training scene' and it's the first hit), probably worth watching to make some sense of what follows (at least as much as is possible)...

Chapter 2

Not like she had anything better to do on a Wednesday anyway, she thought. Not that she had been laughed out of some of her usual hangouts. She just... found them dull and... wanted a change. And stuff. She and Drakken led the way into the theatre lobby followed, like some surrealist parody of ducklings, by their motley collection of burley henchmen. While Drakken whined and complained to the server about the absence of his favourite slushy flavour [A/N – icey in America? Ground ice with sugar and fruit juice], she broke up a fight between two henchmen over who got to hold their shared popcorn. The glare she used left the smoking remains of their crushed spirits plastered to the far wall, and reduced an army major standing in line behind them to tears. When she heard them scuffle after she turned back again the plasma blast she used left the smoking remains of the popcorn plastered over the army major. He performed a tactical withdrawal to hide in a closet somewhere, sucking his thumb. But then she turned to Drakken again, and he handed her a large bag of her favourite confections and she smiled. As they entered the theatre proper, they really did look like the sort of happily dysfunctional family of which sitcom gold is made.

After a certain amount of confused shuffling, a brief and unofficial game of musical chairs and a rock paper scissors contest between two more henchmen to see who got to sit next to Shego, Drakken turned to the henchmen who bought the tickets:

'So Big Mike, what are we going to be watching tonight? It better not be another one of those aweful 'Bricks of Fury' films! I hate them! They're dull, predictable and hopelessly unrealistic! The good guys always win!'

No one, not even Shego, had the heart to point out the irony in his words. Shego might have berated him for a needless rant, but at that moment a promising trailer for a RomCom came on and she merely shushed him. Mike whispered

'Rocky Balboa, boss.'

'Hmm never heard of him, who is this Balboa?'

'Keep it down!'

An authoritative, female hiss cut in.

'An old boxer, boss – he's got some issues, no self respect, that kinda thing.'

'Sounds like a bit of a wimp to me! – sorry Shego'

'So he gets back in the ring, boss – fights some younger guy'

'Well, we all know how that feels... hmm, this could be interesting'

Drakken did indeed find it interesting by and large. Oddly, he seemed to miss parts of it, becoming aware that his hand and Shego's had somehow moved into an awkward sort of clasp. When they happened to glance across at one another and their eyes met, each scowled and pulled away, leaving Drakken confused and Shego disgusted with such sentimentality. Gradually though, Drakken got more involved in the film, feeling an odd sort of affinity for the aging boxer portrayed.

The scene changed. It cut to a very functional looking gym, with a replica of a large barbell dangling from the sign outside.

'You know all there is to know about fighting...'

Drakken was cynical – how could an old man hope to compete like he had? Even with all those assorted hangers on to encourage him? As the rousing words continued to wash over him however, he began to feel optimistic, almost euphoric. The man might not be fast but he was going to play to his strengths! He was going to do what was necessary to make his attacks count. No way was one jumped up, all that teen going to beat him! The line between fiction and reality now thoroughly blurred in Drakken's mind he heard the line:

'Yeah! Let's start building. Some. Hurting. Bombs!'

Inspirational music cut in, as the old man started a variety of difficult exercises. That 'all that' teen was also training he saw, but along different lines. He sat taller in his seat – this was it! As the man's feats grew more and more impressive, he became more and more certain. A sure fire way to get his evil mojo back! At the end of the sequence he stood, hands raised up, emulating the character on the screen and gave a whoop. Though the audience's consternation did not return him to the proper position, Shego's swift chop to his nether region (followed by a deft shove) was rather more effective.

Understandably subdued for some time after that, he missed much of what followed. He missed the rest while attempting to apply the remains of his slushy to numb the continued throbbing, without drawing the attention of his colleagues to the fact, or leaving embarrassing wet patches. Shego missed most of the end too, occupied as she was covertly observing his various efforts, while masterfully controlling her impulse to laugh like a maniac.

As they left the film Drakken, now recovered and with his voice once more in the proper octave was once more possessed of the enthusiasm he had shown during the film. His best evil smile on his face, (causing several mothers with younger daughters in the lobby to shy away), he said:

'What can we learn from this film, Shego?'

'Oh oh, let me guess! That Dr. D needs to remember the difference between fiction and reality? No no, don't tell me! That he could simply have put the cup between his legs?'

'Argh! No Shego!'

Drakken was outraged! She had seen! But he had been so subtle! Shego, of course, had simply been covering up her true answer 'well, whaddya know? Guess grizzled old men can look attractive after all'. Oblivious, frustrated, Drakken continued on:

'No, Shego; to improve my evil rapidly, all I need is a montage!'

She looked outright stunned at this, and decided to point out the obvious before he jumped off the deep end:

'But they're a cinematic device! They aren't real – you can't just cut and paste appropriate scenes from your life!'

Rubbing his hands together in delighted anticipation he laughed:

'Ha! You'll see! I think it's time I refined my pan dimensional vortex ray...'