A/N: A belated Valentine's Day gift for you all. I actually don't really like the holiday all that much, but I decided to throw something for you. I hope you won't mind the angst. As you've probably noticed already, I seem to be unable to write things without turning them into some sort of emotional drama at some point, though I promise you that the next one-shot I will be posting here will be a comedy and not as angsty. I apologize for any tears this story may cause ;)
This little thing was inspired by "Transformation" from "Beauty and the Beast" (both the music and the scene itself, and I would recommend listening to the soundtrack while you read!) as well as the healing incantation from "Tangled".
I would also like to remind you that I'm taking Thranduil/Tauriel fanfic requests , so don't hesitate to write me a PM, if you have something in mind for those two!
Please, don't forget to review and favourite when you are done!
Enjoy!

Summary: ""We are all fools in love," she had whispered as she ran her fingers softly over his cheek."
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama
Rating: T
Other info: post LOTR AU, very emotional, death

WHAT ONCE WAS MINE

It was finally over. After years upon years of constant fighting and overwhelming fear, after countless deaths and oppressing darkness, the struggle has ended and Arda was free of Sauron, his life quenched once and for all.

The happy news reached Minas Tirith a week after the remains of the armies of Men and Elves had marched to the Black Gates of Mordor. Afterwards all that was left to do was waiting as patiently as it was possible for those who had survived to return. There was no information about the fallen or the injured, no way of knowing just how bittersweet their victory truly was, so it was easy to understand why most people awaited for their loved ones before starting any celebrations. The atmosphere in the city was laced with happiness, but tense, and Tauriel felt the worries of those around her reverberate more and more profoundly through her very soul as the days went by and there was still no sight of the armies on the horizon.

She had been forced to stay behind by the injuries she had suffered from during the Battle of Minas Tirith. Elves healed far quicker than Men did, but it did not mean she could ride out to do more fighting when her shoulder was dislocated, her arm broken and her skull cracked. Truth be told, she was barely conscious enough to say her goodbyes to those few who had come to seek her out before condemning themselves to the unknown fate. She remembered the tightness in her throat as she had one by one squeezed the hands of her companions from the Fellowship. Aragorn's face had been a mask of politeness and calm, as was Legolas', even though she knew they felt more than they let on, but Gimli had not bothered to hide his feelings from her and had been clearly distraught by the possibility of never seeing her again, even though they had been at each other's throats most of the time. Mary and Pippin were staying behind as well, both injured and deemed unfit to travel the long distance in their current state, but they seemed to be content with it. They had seen more death and battle than most hobbits would ever do, and did not need to see even more.

After her companions had left her to rest, she expected tears to come, but they did not appear. She had simply laid on her cot, unable to fall asleep, her mind miles away.

That was how King Thranduil had found her when he came to see her.

Surface to say, she was not expecting him. They haven't seen each other since the Battle of the Five Armies and although she had briefly spotted him on the battlefield, she never gave it too much thought. What they had had in the past had been lost long ago, buried within their souls like a secret, a memory that was too painful to revisit too often. And yet, when he had lowered himself to a sitting position beside her, she could see all of his feelings she had thought were long gone in the brightness of his light blue eyes.

Her heart fluttered as she remembered the way in which he had taken her hand in his, bringing it to the side of his face and holding it against it with the most heartbreaking expression of longing adoring his handsome features.

"I have been a fool," he had said to her then, his voice quiet, but clear and calm.

"We are all fools in love," she had whispered as she ran her fingers softly over his cheek. Everything in her had been singing with happiness. She had not lost him. She never did. "Promise me you will come back."

It had been an impossible request, she knew, but she had needed to know that it was not the end. They had just found their way back to each other for this brief moment and she refused to believe it was all they were ever going to get.

"Tauriel…" He had closed his eyes and when he opened them again, they reflected perfectly the fear that was threatening to suffocate her. "You know I cannot do it. The odds are not in our favour. If we survive…"

"Please," she had urged him, her other hand catching his firmly and entwining their fingers. "I need to have something, anything, to hold on to while I wait."

He had hesitated for a moment, clearly reluctant to give his word for something that was so far-fetched, but in the end he had promised her he would come back. With a fleeting kiss to her forehead, he was gone and it was then that she had cried.

A sigh escaped her lips as she pulled her warm woollen cloak tighter around her shoulders. Winter was almost over, but the air was still biting and cold. The plains of Gondor were a wasteland and she highly doubted that the arrival of spring would make much of a difference, at least not this year. It would take time for those lands to once again flourish with life, but they finally had it in abundance and the thought made the corners of her lips quirk in a small smile.

"I thought I would find you here."

She send Galion as sidelong glanced. The ellon was still using a walking stick and ever step he took seemed to be a struggle. Both of his legs had been broken and, although the bones had mended well, it would be months before he fully recovered.

"Am I that predictable?" She wondered as she moved to the side so he could sit next to her on the stone bench.

"Quite so," he teased with a smirk, slowly lowering himself down, his body tense and rigid with pain. "I hate those bloody things!"

"Your legs?"

He rolled his eyes at her question, but the amusement in them betrayed that he wasn't as irritated with her as he would have liked her to think.

"Those too."

He looked ahead, probably admiring the magnificent view. From where they sat at the very edge of the enormous courtyard, the land below seemed far away and detached, as if it was only an image painted on the canvas by a rather unimaginative artist. The sky was a nice shade of blue, contrasting with the greys and murky browns of the ground, and the sun was warm on their faces.

"Is something the matter, mellon nin?" She asked , turning in her seat so she could look at him freely without shifting positions every now and again. "You seem distant."

"I am worried," he admitted earnestly. They had been friends for so long there was no point for him to try and lie to her. "I should have rode with the king. I should have been stronger. It weights down on me that something might have happened to him and I…"

"Don't," she interrupted him, the tone of her voice colder than she hads intended it to be. "Please. Don't say things like that."

"Forgive me."

"There is naught to forgive." Tauriel waved him off, looking down at her fingers which were pulling at the hem of her dark green tunic. "I just don't want to hear… Don't want to even think…"

"You won't lose him, my lady," he proclaimed with conviction. "He is too stubborn to let you go."

Her head snapped up at his words, mouth agape and eyes blown wide.

"What?"

Galion sighed in obvious exasperation.

"His feelings for you were never a secret, not to me or any others within our kingdom." He was looking at her in such an intense way that it made her more uncomfortable than his words. "I have known him for a long time, longer than you can possibly imagine, and yet his affections for you had surprised me at first. I thought I was seeing things, but then I simply decided to ask him and he had no qualms about admitting that he intended to make you his. And there was such conviction in his words! As if he was certain that he would succeed! It would have been so, I am sure…" A shadow fell across his features. "But then you fell in love with someone else."

She knew they had been on the path to becoming more than merely companions. It had been in the little gestures – his soft smiles, the fleeting touches here and there, and in every look he was giving her – but she was hesitant to let him in. At the same time she had no problem whatsoever with embracing her feelings for Kili. It must have wounded him greatly, both his feelings and pride, that she could so swiftly forget about everything there ever was between them and ran off after someone she barely even knew.

"Love cannot be compelled, Galion," she responded quietly to what sounded to her ears like an accusation. "Everyone makes mistakes. We are not omnipotent, are we? I've been trying to right my wrongs for the last few decades and sometimes it feels like I'm still standing on Ravenhill, looking into his eyes…" She trialled off, her throat tight with regret as the memory of everything that has happened between her and Thranduil on that faithful day returned to her at once. "I didn't even consider returning. I know now that I could have come back, but… I had aimed an arrow at him, I called him loveless, I broke him… Do you understand? I couldn't live with myself and coming back to Mirkwood where everyone would know about my betrayal, where everyone knew about his affections for me… It would have been too much."

"I understand," he reassured her, reaching out to lay a comforting her on her shoulder. "But I doubt your absence helped. He was a shadow of himself. The only moments when he appeared to be somewhat alive was when a letter from Lord Elrond would arrive with the news about you and the prince. At any other moment, he was barely holding onto life itself. I believe the hope that he will see you and his son again was the only thing that had kept him from fading."

"Was it really so bad?" Her voice sounded small and fragile, but she needed to know.

"It was worse."

Silence fell between them as she mulled over Galion's words. It was hard to imagine that Thranduil truly loved her so deeply that he was on the verge of dying of grief when she had abandoned him. He was meant to love his wife even after her death, not some lowly Silvan elleth who was too hot-headed and impulsive for her own good. The depth of his feelings terrified her and made her want to bolt once again. Maybe it was the true reason behind her decision to follow Kili and the rest of his company. After his death she grieved for many moons, but she soon discovered that she did so more for the lost chances rather than anything else. True, she had loved the brave young dwarf, but the feeling had been innocent and naive, and not founded enough to hold her heart forever. It didn't make it any less real, though it put a new perspective to the cause of her grief.

She had missed Mirkwood greatly in her years away, but she came to this realization only after coming to terms with the fact that maybe her love for Kili simply wasn't meant to be. It took a long time before she was finally able to admit to herself that she had in fact loved Thranduil from the very beginning. There had been nothing she could have done about it at that point, so she simply buried it as deeply within her heart as she could manage. She was glad now that she hadn't even tried to put it behind her, for she would have then never discovered that he still cared for her as well.

Fortunately, years of lost chances were behind her now.

Her gaze drifted to the horizon, as it always seemed to do these past couple of days. A blink of sunlight against something caught her attention and her eyes widened when she realized her sense of sight was not tricking her this time, as the light was in fact dancing across the shiny armours of the armies finally returning from the last battlefield of this forsaken war.

"They are here," was all she was able to say before she stood up and ran as fast as her legs could carry her.

"They are here!" She shouted as she ran, startling those she passed by with her joyfulness.

Some joined her when they gathered her meaning and soon enough she was leading a small army of her own to the stables in the lower part of the city. When they arrived there, she ordered for horses to be readied at once and instructed those who wished to ride out with her to collect supplies for the returning warriors. Everything was a flurry of movement afterwards as Men and Elves ran about, their excitement almost tangible.

They rode out as soon as they were ready. Tauriel urged her horse, a beautiful grey mare called Yule, to move faster and faster still. She did not care that she was leaving her companions behind. He was so close that she could see him as he sat atop his giant elk, bloodied and weary, but alive, and she couldn't bear to be parted from him any longer than necessary. There were words he needed to hear, words she needed to speak, words that had been withheld for far too long. Minutes stretched on as she drew closer to him, but when she was finally close enough, it became clear that something was very wrong.

His eyes locked with hers. He smiled, his too pale face brightening slightly with the soft gesture, before he swayed in his saddle. She jumped off Yule and managed to reach his side just in time to break his fall. They stumbled to the ground in a graceless heap, his body falling on top of hers. She shifted their position so they would be more comfortable and noted with dismay that the front of her tunic was now completely soaked with blood, which was pouring from the grievous wound at his side.

Her breath hitched when it started to form a halo of red around them.

"A healer! We need a healer!" Tauriel cried out, even though she knew deep down there was nothing that could be done to save him at this point. He seemed to be aware of it as well. His hand gripped hers as tightly as he could manage in his weakened state to let her know it was alright, though it was quite obviously not so. "It will be fine. Just hold on for a little longer."

"Tauriel," he said her name like a prayer. "I am back…"

"Yes, you are," she choked out as she cradled his head in her lap, running her bloody fingers through his hair in a gentle caress. "My brave king."

"I promised you… I would… Did I not?"

"Yes, you did. You've kept your promise," She whispered. "Oh, I should have gone with you… Should have insisted on going! That stupid injury… It wouldn't have happened then! If only…!"

"It… It is not… Your fault." A wet cough escaped him as blood splattered across his lips. "Maybe it's better… It's better this way."

"Don't talk like that," Tauriel admonished him half-heartedly, laying her fingers on his lips to hush him. She loosened the high collar of his tunic and the decorative clasp of his long cloak so he could breathe more easily, though it hardly seemed to help. "You will be alright. We are together now and everything is going to be fine, you'll see..."

He lifted one of his hands and softly run his fingers along her temple before laying it on her cheek. It shook, as the effort to keep it there was too much for him. She took a hold of his wrist as she nuzzled his palm, her eyes closing briefly.

"A-at least… I got to see you… One last time."

His arm went limp and slid from her numb fingers, falling to his side. She heard him exhale slowly, but he did not drew in another breath. His chest stopped moving right afterwards and the wet sound which had accompanied his laboured breathing was gone as well.

She stared at his still face and into his sightless half-lidded eyes for a few long minutes before she truly realized what had happened.

Tauriel's anguished howl pierced the air like thunder, loud, and clear, and utterly heartbreaking. Time seemed to stop as she curled around Thranduil's lifeless body, bringing it as close to her as she could manage. Rocking back and forth, her body shaking violently with every shuddering breath, she yearned for nothing more than for death to claim her as well. She was vaguely aware of voices somewhere above her, but she did not care what they were saying. The world could have ended at this point and it would mean nothing, because hers had just slipped through her very fingers.

Everything in her was breaking and falling apart into tiny pieces that could never be put back together. Or maybe she was simply being torn apart as an invisible force ripped out her still beating heart only to trample it with raw brutality into the cold hard ground. She remember through a fog that she had felt like this before, years ago, when she had held Kili in much the same manner at the snowy slope of Ravenhill, though this time it was much worse.

Why does it hurt so much?!

"Tauriel…" Her name sounded foreign to her ears. She did not look up or loosen her grip as she felt someone lay a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Tauriel, you need to let him go…"

Because it was real.

"No!"

She shook the offending hand off her, turning around in a blink to glare furiously at the person who had spoken. Although her gaze was blurred by tears, she still recognized the face of Legolas, who was standing just a mere step away from her. He looked rattled and at the brink of coming apart, and she could relate to this, to him, but she simply could not comply to his wishes.

"Tauriel, you…"

"No!"

Without sparing Legolas another look, she once again buried her face in Thranduil's neck, inhaling his earthy comforting scent, which was now mixed with blood. She shivered as she realized that his skin was losing its natural warmth.

"You cannot leave me… Not now…"

If this is love, I do not want it… Take it from me. Please!

"Give him back to me," she whimpered, though she hardly believed her prayer would make a difference. "I beseech you, give him back!"

She repeated those words in her head over and over again, as if they could prove to be powerful enough to right the wrongs at any given moment. Immersed in her pain, she missed the little sparks that started to fly around her all of the sudden and the shouts of surprise of those who could see them clearly. What she did not miss, however, was the beam of light that seemed to ascend onto them all from the sky above. She lifted her head and a breathy gasp escaped her as she looked at her arms, still holding onto Thranduil's prone body, which were shining like the brightest of starts. She, not the sky, was the source of the mysterious light. It was almost blinding, but she could not tear her eyes away as it seemed to bit by bit spread to her surroundings. The ground underneath her grew warm and then fresh grass, along with an abundance of colourful flowers, started to spring from it. The soft carpet of green grew and grew, and the sweet aroma of daisies, dandelions, and asters filled the air, which had lost its wintery bite some time ago. The world around came alive as if blessed by some deity and it was breathtaking to witness this unexpected change, even if she was at the same time afraid to move.

How was it possible? She had always had a gift for healing, but this went far beyond anything she had ever been able to do.

Her eyes snapped to Thranduil when she felt him stir and she watched with fascination as colour returned to his face. He drew in a deep breath, his skin still alight with whatever magic she had somehow managed to bestow upon him.

"Thranduil, please," she whispered as held his face between her trembling hands. "Please, open your eyes…"

His chest was moving as he breathed evenly, but he was unconscious. The left side of his face and his light hair were coated with warm blood from a small wound at his forehead that was now gone. Head injuries bleed the most, she knew, even when they were shallow, but the sight of so much redness after the recent events put her on edge. Still, there was no sight of any injury on him whatsoever now and she let herself relax by a friction.

He was alright. The Valars had mercy on them and decided to return him to her, which she was so thankful for she couldn't put it into words.

The blood smudged in a long red line as she smoothed her thumb across his left cheekbone. She felt like she had been sitting there for hours already, holding him and calling his name as she waited, but it was no more than a few minutes at most. She couldn't explain what was happening to her. It felt as if she couldn't get away from him. Something inside of her was calling out for him, to him, urging her to stay where she was. It was as if no time had passed since they have last been together, as the feeling of longing inside of her was a familiar inferno, but it was much stronger now and different in the way. She could feel it deep inside and so she was unable to let him go, as if her very life depended on whether or not she could feel the warmth of his skin against hers.

"Tauriel…," his voice was barely above a whisper, but it was enough. She observed as his eyes fluttered open, hazy and unfocused. "I thought I died. Was I mistaken?"

"You did," she somehow managed to say through tears, smiling broadly as she lowered her head so she could kiss him lightly on corner of his mouth. "You died. But then there was light, bright and warm like nothing I have ever felt. Grass and flowers started to grow on their own as the light travelled from me in every direction. You shone as brightly as I did and you came back. Just like that!"

Thranduil's expression betrayed nothing as he slowly sat up, holding onto her for support. Those who had previously moved away, frightened by her show of powerful magic, took cautious steps back, eyeing her warily. The Elvenking looked around, taking everything in, as his fingers smoothed over the soft grass and delicate petals of the many flowers. He seemed to be in a trace, lost in his thoughts, but he recovered from it quickly enough, turning to gaze into her eyes with the same intensity she remembered from the years past and their last meeting.

"You have a gift for magic," he said quietly as a small smile stretched across his lips. "A gift suited for a queen, I would say."

She blushed at his words.

"I am no queen, my lord."

"Not yet," was all he said before he took her into his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips without a care in the world. The crowd around them cheered loudly, clearly overjoyed with their happy ending. Tauriel was deaf to their voices though as she returned Thranduil's kiss with feverish passion.

All was finally well.