In my defence, I always had a thing for Jeff Hardy, before Beth even knew who he was, but I was just a stupid fan girl with a crush on a wrestler who I would never get a chance to meet and he was someone out of my league who would never be interested in me. Then Beth bought me tickets to a WWF Monday Night Raw show in Carolina and because she bought the tickets I chose to bring her with me….possibly the worst mistake ever. Anyway…turns out Jeff and Matt were doing signings in a mall that day before the show since it was their hometown and they were the tag champs. I dragged Beth down to the mall and we finally met them, I got my picture taken with both and so did Beth, Jeff and Beth started talking and flirting and she got his number and she gave him hers and I guess they've been together ever since. They got serious really quick and moved in together in the first six months of their relationship, they never married though, I always wondered why, but I was too afraid to ask. I was in boarding school a lot, and only came home sometimes, but when i finished up I moved home, Our Mom and Dad had gone on a world trip and they left me money to buy an apartment. I guess they felt guilty for shipping me off to boarding school for all those years and then not being around when I came home…Beth was always their favourite. She could never do any wrong and then when she got engaged to someone famous, I had no hope of being remembered, they treated Jeff and Matt more like sons than they treated me like a daughter.

I grew up a lot in boarding school, became more in touch with my girly side, got confidence to talk to guys, had boyfriends, got a sense of style but on the inside I was extreme and sometimes pretty wild. I was almost not known when I came home because my brown hair was a lot longer, I used to have really short hair and now I was taller and bigger if you know what I mean. Guys tended to notice me a lot more and Jeff did too.

I had a lot in common with Jeff, Matt, Shannon, Shane and Amy so I always felt like part of the group. At first Me and Jeff didn't speak a lot, he was cold towards me for the first couple of months and I acted like a bitch to him because of that. But sometimes I caught him looking at me, and it wasn't a hateful look, I knew that for sure, I knew that look but this one was so different….almost lustful. At first it didn't seem possible, why would Jeff Hardy want anything to do with me? I was nineteen at the time, nineteen when the affair started. Jeff was now thirty two and I was twenty two, ten years stood between us, not that that was our biggest problem. If age was the only thing wrong with our relationship we were doing okay, but my sister was the problem. I will never forgive myself for betraying her for three years. Sleeping with Jeff behind her back all those times, it shouldn't have happened once and yet however wrong I knew it was, I let it happen again and again. It was when I came home and began living with Beth and Jeff that the affair started. I wasn't allowed live on my own until I turned twenty so I spent eight months living with the "happy couple". I remember the night we started this mess like it was yesterday.

*FLASHBACK*

I slammed the front door with tears streaming down my face, I walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Leaning against the counter I swallowed the cold water and sighed. "Ash…is that you?" I heard Jeff shout from the living room. I quickly turned to the sink and washed my face hoping he wouldn't notice the tears. To be honest I thought he and Beth were both gone this weekend. She was on a trip with our brother Buck and Jeff was supposed to be in New York at a signing. I wasn't supposed to be going out and I couldn't lie with the outfit I was wearing, a short white dress, stilettos and a lot of make up.

"Jeff, what are you doing home, weren't you supposed to be in New York City this weekend?" I asked acting cool. He looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah I was, but I didn't like the idea of leaving you alone…and I can see I was right." I laughed.

"Jeff I would have been fine, you and Beth have gotta stop treating me like a kid." He nodded as I hopped onto the counter. "I know Beth goes a bit crazy about protecting you but its only because she loves you so much."

"I know she does but I'm not sixteen anymore, I'm not stupid. I can take care of myself." I said as he took a seat beside me.

"So can I ask why you were crying a while ago?" He said softly.

I looked at him and nodded. "It was nothing Jeff, just had a run in with an ex."

"Sam?" He asked.

"Yeah him." I said and he rolled his eyes. "I hated him." Jeff admitted and

I looked at him oddly. "Why?"

He sat up uncomfortably. "He never appreciated you Ash. I saw the way he treated you sometimes, you didn't deserve an asshole like him."

"Jeff he wasn't that bad."

"Yeah that's why you just came in crying." He said grinning.

"Shut up!" I said nudging him. I asked myself on the inside a question I already knew. Jeff and I were flirting and it hadn't been the first time either. Nothing ever happened but tonight I was feeling different, I was feeling extreme and crazy. After an hour of talking and drinking a little alcohol we got back to the subject of Sam. Jeff didn't mind me drinking once I wasn't drunk. But Beth hated it.

"I always wanted to kick hiss ass." He said.

"And why is that?"

"Ashley have you not seen you? I mean you're gorgeous, all the guys are crazy about you and I, shouldn't say anymore." Jeff said going quiet.

"No it's okay I like hearing about me." I said smiling at him.

"Look you don't need me to tell you how good looking you are, but you are, you're smart, funny, crazy, sweet and Beth would kill me for saying but you're sexy as hell and if I was 10 years younger and not engaged to your sister I'd…"

"You'd?" I said challenging him to finish as I moved closer. He swallowed hard and looked at me with those emerald eyes. I had never seen Jeff talk like this but tonight he was acting interested and it was turning me on.

He hopped off of the counter and I did the same.

"I'm sorry." He said putting his hands on his face.

"For what?" I asked confused. He leaned against the corner of the counter.

"I shouldn't have just said what I said. I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" He said in a husky voice.

To be honest his voice was only adding to the insane feeling I was having between my legs. I walked slowly towards him and trapped him. "Ash what're you doing? Are you drunk?" He said as I pushed my body to his. He let out a tiny moan.

" I didn't drink a lot tonight." I said whispering in his ear. So maybe I had actually had a few but he didn't need to know how much.

"Jeff, what if I told you that you didn't need to be ten years younger to have me?" I questioned playing with the tip of his belt.

"Ash come on stop, this is crazy, you don't want this, I don't want this." He said but not moving an inch.

"Really? Because they way you're looking at me says differently Jeff." I said grinning at him.

He sighed heavily looking at me moving passed me and out of the kitchen. "I'm going to go to bed Ash we're both kind of tipsy, night." He said walking away leaving me there to cool off. I went into my bedroom to get changed, I threw my dress on my bed and walked around in my white lacy bra and put on my grey sleep shorts.. "Fuck!" I said as I realised I had left my cell in the kitchen. Since Jeff was in bed I thought it would be ok to go quickly down in my bra. But when I went down he was there in sweat pants and a black wife beater. "Oh sorry, I thought you were in bed, I just left my phone on the counter." I said trying to pull my long straight brown hair over my chest to cover my skin. He came closer to me and looked at me up and down. "You have no idea what you're doing to me Ashley." He said huskily. "What?" I said confused. "You're driving me to fucking insanity." Jeff said before crashing his lips on mine he held my hair tightly and then let go. I fell backwards in shock of him kissing me. But it only took me a second to react and realise what I wanted, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him once more. He pushed me against the kitchen counter and grabbed my ass while my lips were on his neck. "Fuck Ash keep doing that." He said as I bit and kissed him lightly. I was so turned on and I never wanted this to end. Here I was about to screw my sisters boyfriend and I didn't care on bit, I wanted him and I was getting him, every bit of him. He grabbed my ass once more pressing my lower body hard into his. He lifted me onto the counter and slid his hands up my legs and then spread both while he moved between them. The sensation that he was so close to being in me was nearly too much for me. I could feel the erection in his pants growing against my shorts. I was aching for him. "Jeff." I said whimpering. I Wanted him, wanted him to make me scream his name and everything else. "Just relax." He whispered. He went to kiss me again but suddenly his phone rang. When he looked at the number Jeff began backing away slowly. "Its Beth." He said not answering. Then no sooner than ten seconds later mine began to ring. I knew it was my sister, his fiancé. I felt a gush of guilt flow through my body and I knew Jeff did too. He looked at me and put a hand through his rainbow coloured hair. "Ashley… I.." I stopped him "I'm going to go to bed and we're never going to speak about this again. We're drunk, and this was a mistake." I said sliding off the counter and rushing to my room. He didn't try to stop me, he was in shock of what had taken place. When I went to my room, I crashed onto my bed. I felt sick, sick to my stomach at what had happened. I couldn't sleep, all I could think about was how Jeff Hardy's hands had been all over me, how my lips were on his neck, my hands running up his body and…. What would have happened if Beth didn't call. I was sure I wouldn't have been in my bed, I might not have been in his either, maybe on the couch, table or the counter hell we could have been anywhere. When I woke the next morning I felt the guilt hit me again. I stayed in bed as long as I could to avoid Jeff, but he didn't seem to be going anywhere. I knew it was only a matter of time before we'd bump into one another in the house so I decided it was better to get up and show my face. As I walked down the hall I heard moving around in the kitchen. I walked slowly towards it until I heard footsteps coming out to meet me in the hall. I turned to race to my room again but it was too late. "Ashley!"

Someone had called me but it was a female voice. I turned once more to see my sister standing there. "Beth? What're you doing back so early?" I said as my face went white. "Buck and I took an earlier flight, aren't you happy to see me?" She said with a small frown on her face. Obviously she was expecting me to run and hug her but after last night it was hard to look at her. "Yeah of course I am, it hasn't been the same without you here." I said as she hugged me.

"Where's Jeff?" I asked, wondering had he seen her already. I was hoping he had. Part of me was freaking out that he'd see her, feel guilty and tell her everything. We hadn't discussed it, but then again I told him it'd never be spoken of again.

"Yeah he's getting my luggage out of the car. Such a good husband to be." She said laughing. I smiled and my stomach felt ill again.

I went to go to my room but suddenly the door opened and Jeff came in. "Ah speak of the devil." Beth said taking some food out of the fridge. "We were just talking about you."

He quickly looked at me as Beth put some eggs on the pan. I nodded, signalling that I hadn't said a thing to her. He smiled at her. "All good I hope." He said as she walked over to hug him. "You bet honey." Beth said giving him a quick kiss. I stood there cringing. "I'm making breakfast do you want some Ash?" I looked at Jeff and back at Beth. "No thanks, I have plans." She smiled at me and winked. "Plans huh?, Possibly with Sam?" Hearing that name again made me think about last night. If I hadn't had a fight with Sam none of this would have happened. "No, definitely not with him." Jeff stayed quiet buttering some toast but I knew he was listening in on every word. "Something happen with Sam?" Beth asked.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ash, I'll find out from Jeff, so spill."

"Actually I don't think you will." I said looking at Jeff.

Beth looked at Jeff who still hadn't said anything and then looked at me suspiciously. "Am I missing something here? Did something happen while I was away?" Finally Jeff looked up and we both got a little tense.

"No course not, its early Ash just woke up, I'm sure she's not in the mood to be bombarded with questions about an ex boyfriend of hers." He said and I was thankful.

"You're right I'm sorry, its just usually I can't get the two of you to shut up and Ash is being all quiet and you've barely said a word either. I just thought maybe you both had a fight?"

We both laughed a fake laugh. "Ash and I? No, we're as tight as ever right Ash?" He said smiling with me, pleading with his eyes for me to agree.

"That's right Nero." I said smiling and leaving the room. My smile quickly faded into a frown as I entered my room.