I'll Stand by You - Pt2 Regina

This waiting is madness. Stupid, ridiculous madness. Waiting hours for the doctor to come in with an update while twiddling my useless thumbs. With nothing better to do but pace this sterile waiting room, with a large fish tank as my only source of entertainment. If we were back in Storybrooke, I would have gone to the woods and blown things up to exert some of this pent up frustration and emotion. But not in this damn mortal world. Oh, God. I'm starting to sound philosophical. I must be delirious.

To add to the frustration, I've already received three calls from Snow checking on Emma's progress. No matter how many times I assured her I would call with updates as soon as I had any, she persisted. I finally talked to David and made him promise to keep her at bay for a while until I had news to share. Seems my promises mean nothing today, because he followed up with two calls of his own. If it weren't for the very real fear that the entire clan would show up here at the hospital in a caravan; I would have turned off my phone completely.

The doctor told us the operation would take a few hours. Rationally I kept telling myself that I could go get some fresh air or get something to eat; but I couldn't leave until I knew Emma was okay. I did, however, call the rehabilitation center Emma had lined up and canceled her stay all together. As her 'wife,' I spoke to the head charge nurse about taking care of Emma on my own, sans any emergencies of course. She assured me by talking me through things to expect and look out for, as well as where to get more care information here at the hospital.

The informative pamphlets the hospital supplied for caring for loved ones at home after surgery, were very educational. I had already read through them a couple times over while waiting. I knew Emma would be excited to learn she would be returning to the suite instead of the rehab facility. I took out on of the pamphlets to review again, but paused on the title. 'Caring for Loved Ones.'

I've known for some time now that I considered Emma a loved one. Since we stopped trying to kill each other, and became friends and co-mothers and grandmothers. Since Emma pulled a curse from my body moments before it engulfed me, because she cared more about my happiness than her own.

It had been while I was looking through that black vortex of dark magic into her equally scared eyes, that two hard truths became obvious to me. The first was that I was in love with Emma Swan; the bane of my existence. The second was the very real fact that Emma would take what was left of my heart if anything were to happen to her.

Knowing now that she loved me then, I wish we had both been brave enough to admit our feelings for each other. But we both had our thieves, and their deaths complicated things. Especially since the pirate's had unfortunately not been permanent. Seeing her fight so hard for that prepubescent stubbled nitwit had been hard for me. To this day, I try my best not to let my true feelings for Hook show. At least not any further than my usual disdain for the moron. I had always respected that Hook was what Emma wanted, and I would never have intervened. Not when she cared just as much about my happiness as I did hers. Thank goodness that chapter of her life was over.

At least she had Hope out of the marriage. I knew that deep down Emma always wanted the chance to raise a baby. We had never talked about it too in depth, but I knew how hard putting Henry up for adoption had been for her. Although I believe that guilt has lessen over the years, I see it in her eyes every once in a while.

I turned my back on the fish tank, and the puffer fish that seemed to be judging me, to begin rubbing the bridge of my nose. My watch told me it had only been thirty minutes since I last looked. Henry text this time asking for an update. With none to give I just sent him my love and another promise to contact him first thing.

Henry. The kid that was still that small little ten year old runaway in my mind, now had a wife and a twelve year old daughter, with another baby on the way. Our ever receptive son had confronted me once about my feeling for Emma, right before her wedding. I know he was disappointed that I held my peace and did not speak up. But the truth still stands now, that I will always fight for her happiness, even if it means sacrificing my own. She deserves it.

None of that mattered now. Granted that I had confessed out of fear, but it was a confession nonetheless. I loved her, and she loved me. No doubt it was an example of her idiocy to love someone with a past like mine. But that was the bottom line, was it not? Emma knows more about me than any other being in this realm or the next. The fact that we were now free to explore our feelings for each other, made this idiotic wait even more torturous.

I would never voice this fear, because the irrational side of me believes saying it out loud would give it power. But with my history and never-ending happiness road blocks, I was afraid that Emma and I would be robbed of our chance to be together before it even started. My will for her to survive was at its height, and this wait is preposterous!

"Mrs. Swan-Mills?"

"Yes? That's me. Is Emma out of surgery? Is she alright?"

"She's doing great. The surgery went completely textbook, and she should be coming out of anesthesia soon. A nurse will come get you once she's settled in recovery."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"Listen, I know that spouses tend to stress themselves out waiting on days like today. You should take a huge sigh of relief and try to relax. You have enough time now to go get a bite to eat if you'd like. In fact, I strongly encourage it. The hard part is over for now, and I'm guessing you probably also have calls to make to other family?"

"That's true, but I'm not sure I could."

"I can give the nurses your cell number to page you the moment you can go see your wife."

"Thank you, Dr. Garsa, but I couldn't possibly leave. I want to see her first."

"I understand. I can assure you, though, that Emma did great. Remember we caught this early. I'm confident that after this surgery and her follow up treatments, she'll beat this yet. Of course, we'll still need to monitor her and schedule regular screenings, but it's looking very promising for now."

"Thank you. No matter how many times I hear that, I can't tell you what it means to me. Thank you for everything, Doctor."

"My pleasure, Mrs. Swan-Mills."

I wanted to hug the small mousey doctor smiling at me with kind eyes. We had met a few times now, and he had always been very knowledgeable and well spoken in explaining things. He took his time with his patients and it was something that I very much appreciated. If I thought I could sell it, I'd invite him to take Dr. Whale's position as head of Storybrooke's Hospital.

"I must say, Dr. Garsa. I can't tell you how much your straight forwardness has helped get me through this. I don't think I have to tell you that having a doctor that won't pull back punches, and explain things so well, is a very rare thing."

"Thank you-."

"Regina, please. I think you've earned it."

"Thank you, Regina. I must say that seeing a couple like you and your wife gives me hope for my daughter. She's still searching for her Mrs. Right. Her mother and I are being as supportive as we can be with some of the toads she's dated."

"Well you know the old saying, doctor. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your prince. Or princess as it were."

"Ah, that's fairy tale stuff. I'll just be happy if she walks away without any warts."

We shared a small laugh before he excused himself. Emma would have gotten a chuckle out of that. I could just hear the snickering. I pulled out my phone to begin calls back home. I called Henry first, and Duey was with him and Jacenda.

Duey. It was hard seeing the face of my son on a stranger. Duey was never raised by me, and only knew me as the Evil Queen in his realm. It had taken some time for us to reach the relationship we have now, which was always a bit strained at best. I try and tell myself that he is Henry's distant cousin that happens to look a lot like him. It seems to work until Duey grins or smiles a certain way that is uniquely Henry.

Both Henry's were relieved to hear Emma was out of surgery and recovering. I was also able to talk to Lucy and assure her that her other grandmother was on the mend. I promised to FaceTime with them when Emma was up to it. When I called Snow and David, I had to be quick in saying she was okay, because I was hit with a barrage of questions as soon as they picked up the line.

I abruptly hung up with Snow when the nurse came in looking for me to follow her to Emma's recover room. Tears instantly fell from my eyes at the sight of her laying asleep in her hospital bed. I wish I had thought to pack her lucky beanie when I reached out and rubbed her poor shaved head, and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"You're crying on me."

I pulled back with a laugh and she smiled weakly up at me before falling back asleep after we exchanged a few words, and more than a few kisses. It's amazing how one doesn't realize they weren't breathing until they take that first relieved breath. Emma was okay and I was with her to ensure it.

She was in and out of the hospital in two days. Doctor Garsa felt confident releasing her after she proved she could get up with minimal assistance and could use the facilities on her own, or with my aid. They released her into my care and we returned to our suite. Emma was so very weak for the first week after her surgery, but the medications seemed to help her recuperate.

As soon as she was strong enough to argue with me, however, she wanted off of the pain meds. Emma never was one to take even an aspirin when she was in pain, so it was of no surprise to me. She was smart enough, though, not to argue with me on taking them when I could clearly see she was in more pain than usual.

We returned to our routine of marathoning her favorite show, but this time we did it from my room. Emma had insisted on the ridiculous move from her room across the suite for a 'change in scenery.' I did anything she wanted in those following weeks, though, and would begrudge her nothing.

Every night she fell asleep in my arms, I would feel my heart squeeze in my chest. Every time I made her a meal, or helped her through her morning routines, I counted myself lucky to be the one there for her. The whole bathroom situation had been a bit embarrassing at first, but we quickly moved passed it. I do believe it was Emma's main motivation to get on her feet fast enough to do things on her own.

The first night I had drawn a tub full of bubbles for her, she had seemed apprehensive about undressing completely in front of me funny enough.

"Surely you're not getting shy on me, Miss Swan."

"No, I'm just a little worried about getting in and out of there."

"Well, that is why I am here to help you. There's no need for modesty, dear."

"I'm not being modest, Regina. Remember I was the one that answered the door in a tank top and panties. Completely throwing you off your game."

"Oh, you did no such thing."

"Please. You practically forgot you were there to poison me."

"That is ridic-"

"What color were my panties?"

"Red. But that is beside the point."

She grinned at me with a wink and walked into her bathroom, leaving me to chew through my lip. She seemed to revel in teasing me in everything I did to help her. But turnabout is fair play, and I gave as good as I got when it came to it. It was a sort of silent understanding that we never carried things too far, however.

Since our love confessions, we had done nothing more intimate than embrace and exchange kisses. For my part, I felt it was obviously too soon for anything more physical. Not to say that cuddling up together to watch tv, sometimes ended with heavy make out sessions. Or our favorite pastime of her napping with her head on my lap, as I read and rubbed her back. We were being intimate on a different level. One that was still new and special to both of us. We enjoyed doing things we could have done as friends, but with a more loving motive behind each glance and touch.

We would kiss each other every night before bed, and I would kiss her sleeping form every morning before quietly rising to start the day. I purposely got up before her, to gather her medications and prepare a small breakfast. In those early days after surgery, she could handle no more than jammed toast or a plain bagel. When she began to feel better, I started adding eggs and bacon to the mix. I even indulged Emma's taste for certain cereals as long as I agreed with their nutritional values, and limited their sugar content.

I dare say that it made things feel like we were an old married couple that had been going through these paces for years. All we needed were matching night gowns and maybe a dog. That image always brought a smile to my face.

A couple of days before we planned to return to Storybrooke, I decided we should celebrate by going out for a proper dinner. Emma had been doing remarkably well, and I felt the need to spoil her before returning home. She refused to let me take her to anything "too fancy," as she was still self-conscious about her lack of hair and weaken state. It didn't matter how beautiful I told her she was, I could tell not to push her on it.

We decided to go to a local 50's themed diner one of the concierge's had recommended. I was mortified when our waiter had thrown straws on our table and groaned in annoyance about having to tend to us. Emma's hand on mine stopped me from saying something about his rude behavior, and she explained it was part of the diner's act. Each server had a different character they portrayed, and had costumes to match. Out waiter was dressed in a little kid's cowboy costume, and acted like a brat it seemed.

With our drinks ordered, I was thrilled for the first time ever when Emma ordered a milkshake and onion rings. The old craving made a welcomed appearance after months of Emma not eating well. I urged her to eat anything she wished, but it seemed the onion rings and shake were enough for her. When our food was delivered, a song began that had all the servers jump up on the counters to sing and dance along. I must admit it had been fun laughing and cheering them on.

"That can't be sanitary, but I'll let it go because this is too much fun."

"I'm glad to see you letting your hair down. It looks good on you."

"You flatter me."

"It's true, Regina. How many chances have you and I had to actually sit down for a meal without threat of being interrupted by a new big bad or my family, or both?"

"You better knock on wood, throw salt over your shoulder, light some sage or something right now, Emma Swan."

"That's Mrs. Swan-Mills, thank you very much. And I am going to enjoy every last minute of playing your wife before we go home."

I don't know why my first reaction to that statement was sadness. It must have shown on my face because suddenly my hand was being squeezed by hers. Emma dropped money on our table and held onto my hand as she led me out of the diner. We were about a block away when we happened upon a small park lined with benches. She led me to take a seat one, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Hey."

"I apologize Emma, but I think I must have been living in a bubble until now. It's funny that we keep referring to our time here in Boston, as living in the real world. I feel like going home back to Storybrooke should is us heading back to the real world."

"I guess you're right. As much as I miss our family back home, and I really can't wait to see Hope, I've really enjoyed having you all to myself in this world."

"As have I, Emma. May I ask you a stupid question?"

"You just did."

I pinched her side before cuddling closer.

"I'm serious. I know it's going to sound silly, but I just have to know. When we return to Storybrooke... what's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you and I..."

"Oh. You want to know if you and I will continue to be 'us' once we return?"

"Yes. Again, I know it's a silly insecurity, but-."

My words were cut off by her soft lips on mine, and a warm hand cupping my cheek. She gave me no opportunity to speak again as she continued to press kisses against my lips. When she did pull away to breath for a moment, I melted into her arms and at the reassuring smile she gave me.

"Regina, I am all yours if you'll have me. I'm so in love with you that there's no turning back. A part of me has always known I should be with you. It just makes sense when I think about it. You've fought so hard to be the woman you are now, and somehow between admiring and respecting you for it, I've fallen deeper in love with you."

"You have?"

"Baby, if I thought you'd take it, I'd put a ring on your finger right now."

"If that's your marriage proposal, Emma Swan, I'm afraid you're going to have to do better than that."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. I am a Queen, afterall. You can't just assume quoting a Beyoncé song will woo me into marrying you."

"Woo you? I need to woo you into marrying me?"

"Oh, quit giving me those puppy eyes. You should know how high my standards are by now. I expect a sonnet."

"Uh-huh."

"A grand gesture, like doves."

"Uh-huh."

"And of course, a decent-sized ring fit for a Queen."

"Of course, of course."

"And unfortunately, as Queen, our wedding will have to be a grand affair. Leaders from the other realms will attend."

"Obviously. Don't forget the magical invitations, and the horse-drawn carriage we'll arrive and depart in."

"Naturally. Oh, and Hope will make a perfect flower girl."

"As long as she doesn't have to wear a dress."

"She does seem to have your distaste for them. I suppose we will need to find an alternative."

"We could make Duey the flower boy and Hope the ring bearer."

"Oh Lord, Emma. Can you not take anything seriously?"

"Of course I can."

Before I could speak again, Emma released her hold on me and moved to the ground. I panicked briefly when I thought she might have fainted, but then she turned toward me on bent knee with a ring in her hand.