This is a story about an original character – to those who are not fans of OCs, turn back now. I am not Ms Rowling, nor am I in any way connected with Bloomsbury or Warner Bros.

And now, read on.

Chapter 2

September 5

I have been so busy the past few months! Mister Alexis came back from Nepal with a surprise - a wife! More than that, a pregnant wife! The baby was born two months ago, and I've been on night-time nappy-and-bottle-duty ever since. As well as that, kind uncle Langley decided to give me my OWLs (unofficially, of course) so I don't think I've slept in weeks. And even though I've taken these exams, I still can't get a good job because, as I've said before, it's unofficial. On the plus side, I am now eligible for many of the fine lower-paid jobs this great country has to offer. Any of the really good jobs, such as... oh, anything higher than a street-sweeper, requires NEWTs, which I can't get because I would have to go to school, which I can't do because, officially, I don't exist! Yeah, that's what we found out the other day when uncle Langley tried to get my OWLs corrected by a professional. They can't do it because I'm not on the register, which legally means I was never born. And I can't produce witnesses to say that I was, in fact, born because:

- My parents are dead, so they can't testify,

- I don't remember the actual event, so I'm not a reliable witness,

- We don't know how to locate the doctor who delivered me,

- Even if we could locate said doctor, it is highly unlikely that he would be able to recognise me after all this time, and

- Most importantly, there is no evidence to suggest that I am, in fact, living, because the paperwork doesn't exist (Mere vital signs don't count for anything, it seems)

If the Devil exists, he's got to be a lawyer. No mere human being could have such a twisted mind that he could invent one. GAAAAAAAAH!!!

January 7 1990

I still don't legally exist, but mentally, I'm becoming more and more substantial by the second. I've read a book every day ever since I got a library card last April and I'm still doing all my lessons. And Lidia wonders why I'm always so hungry! Life is good.

March 19

Sean Casey, a Magical Creatures expert from Galway in Ireland, has become one of our permanent guests. He arrived the other day carrying a small suitcase containing his clothes, and three crates containing his books, charts and one small cat named Jester. He paid five years rent up front, moved into room 219, and within an hour, it looked like he had lived there for years. He is very interesting - he knows practically everything there is to know about magical animals, and I have persuaded him to teach me. He's not a very orthodox teacher - he goes off on tangents all the time. You'd think if he went on enough tangents, he should eventually come back to his starting point, but apparently the laws of maths don't apply to him. But I do learn things. All the tangents have a point, and even if he doesn't always reach it, I learn a lot along the way.

August 12

Another guest! Uncle Langley is so proud. This one is strange, though, even for me, and I'm used to weirdness. She's a hippy-type person, and I think she's eaten too many magic mushrooms or something because she is truly odd. She's not a witch, or a squib, or even a mixed-blood, as far as we can make out, but she doesn't seem freaked by magic at all. She sort of ignores it most of the time, and when it does register, she just seems impressed. She's really nice, though. She says her name is Gryphon, but no parent could be that cruel, could they? She's got grey hair down to her waist, so she was probably a real hippy in the sixties, not just someone who thinks the clothes are cool. Not that they are. She looks like she's wearing carpets, curtains and tablecloths, held together with silk scarves. And she could probably pay off world debt if she sold her jewellery. But she's friendly, and easy to talk to, so I like her. But if she tries to get me to dress like her one more time, I am going to rip open her stomach with one of her earrings and strangle her with her own intestines!

I wonder where that came from? Must be the Master's influences asserting themselves. Fun!

February 23 1991

Sorry it's been so long. I've been doing a lot of study, and helping out with Alexis Junior, and reading Muggle sci-fi books... Oh, who am I kidding?! Just the last one, really! Best books ever written! I mean, I'm all in favour of magical supremacy, but witches and wizards have no imagination! Yes, they are smarter, more powerful people, but where is the imagination gene?! And why do we have no machines? Magic isn't that bloody good! Muggles are odd, backward little people, but when it comes to books and machines, they reign supreme. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Silverberg to finish.

July 28

Uncle Langley finally got someone to correct my OWLs and I got all Os! I'm so proud! I'm so tired!

December 21

Happy Solstice! I got some lovely candles today (that's what we give as Solstice presents - most useful thing on the shortest day of the year) - a beeswax one from Lidia that should last a good few burns, a set of nightlights and a painted glass holder from uncle Langley, a white howling wolf one from Sean Casey, a bottle of mage-light from Jamie, and a pot of luminous lichen from Mister Alexis and family. Also a violent violet one from Gryphon which I thanked her for very politely, then banished it out the window of my room as far as I could before the stench contaminated the entire house. Even though it's mid-winter, I'm sleeping with the windows open until the purple fog in my room disperses. It could take a while. I gave everyone plaited candles I made myself from the stubs of the old ones I've been collecting all year. They all seemed to like them. I hope uncle Langley got the message - I have no money.

April 1

Happy belated birthday to me. It's belated because I've been very busy recently, what with a sudden influx of visitors. Damn this good weather! Everyone's migratory instincts are kicking in early. We've had waves of bloody Scottish people crowding into all the hotels in the neighbourhood because we have fine weather for the first time in about twenty years. I'm so tired... I'm still not able to cook, and uncle Langley has been trying to teach me for years. I'm going to bed now, even though it's only half nine, because we're up at the crack of dawn again tomorrow morning - five o' clock. I didn't even know there was a five in the morning...

October 6

Thank you Merlin, Grindewald, or any deity out there that's listening! They're gone! They're all gone! The tourist season is over and the only people staying in our hotel are Lidia, mister Alexis and family, Gryphon, Sean and Jamie. And me and uncle Langley, obviously. No more staying up til two in the morning scraping burnt stew off the pans. No more getting up at five in the morning to prepare breakfast for fifty guests. No more changing sheets until four in the afternoon. No more listening to idiotic families fight about stupid things all day. I have time to sleep and relax and read and study for the first time since March. I love this rain. Oh crap! Rain! Gotta get the sheets in! Bye!

January 12 1992

Sean and I stayed out in the forest til four this morning watching a nest of Knarls from up a tree under one of his invisibility blankets. It was so great! There were seven of them – two adults, three young ones, and two babies that hadn't even developed their spines yet. They were lovely. I think I like animal studies the best of all the subjects I'm doing for my NEWTs. But I couldn't tell any of the others, because they'd just get offended. It's not that I don't like potions or charms + curses or herbology or astronomy, I just sort of prefer the animals. I'd love a pet – Monster Mouse doesn't count, he was only there for a few months, so I never got to know him or anything. No, what I'd like is a big pet – a dog or a snake or something. That would be brilliant.