Here's the next installment, hope you enjoy it. Oh, by the way, I forgot to warn you about some things in the last chapter. It'll be posted on every other chapter from now on though.
WARNING: Beware of OOC, gruesome scenes, vulgarity, an angry Sakura, and the sharingan!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did...that would be disastrous.
Bend Over
Ka-BOOM
That was the sound of an angry Sakura with her fists free. Pain stared up at the ceiling, wondering what the hell was going on up there. Konan didn't care, she was giving Pain the cold shoulder, she was conversing with Kisame now. Deidara was trying to kill Tobi...again. Kakuzu and Hidan were playing suicide poker. The rules were if you lost, not only would you have to stab yourself, but stab yourself in a fatal spot. Since both were immortal...it really didn't make a difference. Zetsu was looking over at the cards in their hands hungrily...
"Lay 'em down." Kakuzu said.
"I got a katana and a shotgun." Hidan put his cards down to show it.
"Two paper clips. I win again."
"Damn it!" Hidan took two paper clips and shoved them through his temples. One paper clip for each temple. "I always lose, I swear you're cheating. I'm running out of fatal spots too..." It was true, Hidan had stabbed himself 7 times so far, there were only 8. Heart, brain(temples are the holes in your head that have free access to the brain without any bone, which is why it's a fatal spot. They also can hit the eye, which would make your brain shut down, possibly kill you, from the pain), kidney, stomach, neck vain, aorta, armpit vein, and the breaking of the neck bones.
"It's your own fault for sucking at this game." Kakuzu told him, shuffling the cards.
"Kisame, do you think Pain and Itachi are gay for each other? You have gay experience!" Konan asked.
"You're in tough shit then, I have no idea." Kisame grinned, "But I'm gay for Itachi."
"Mmhmm." Konan already knew this, but she wasn't paying attention. Pain was staring up at the ceiling, where mass amounts of crashing was going on. Most likely, pinky was trying to beat Itachi up. Konan smirked, he deserved it for messing with her Pain.
"SEXIST PIG!" Konan looked up, pinky must be pissed. What was her name? Sakura? "BURN IN HELL!" Yep, Sakura was pissed.
"Pain." Pain looked over, Konan was glaring at him. "Do you really love me? You're not gay?"
"No." Was all he said.
"No to what?"
"Both."
Konan felt like she was struck, "ASSHOLE!" Sakura was shouting.
"I COMPLETELY AGREE! YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE PAIN!" Konan shouted and, crying, ran upstairs.
"Nice." Hidan grinned.
--
Meanwhile, Sakura was still trying to beat the hell out of Itachi, not having much success. She kept punching walls and the floor, trying to hit him. Neither him nor the walls had any damage. Sakura finally noticed the place wasn't full of holes.
"What the fuck?" She shouted at him.
"These walls are made from the hardened substance of the same kind as the chakra rope. It's called chakra ore. Because some of the Akatsuki have very destructive jutsus, if we had to fight here not an inch of our hideout would have so much as a scratch." Itachi informed her. His piercing red eyes glared straight into hers, neither moving an inch.
"So that's why this place isn't full of holes." Sakura didn't move her gaze from the Uchiha. She waited for an opening to punch his guts out of his mouth. Seeing none, she spat at him. Itachi sidestepped it easily, but he took his eyes off her for an instant. You're mine! Sakura yelled in her head and punched at his gut. A split second later, Sakura's fist was against the wall. "A clone?!"
--
"So leader, you gonna apologize to her?" Kisame asked with his toothy grin.
"Useless." Pain got up and moved away.
"I think he thinks you're full of shit Kisame." Hidan said, he was staring at the suicide cards in his hand with contempt.
"That's an understatement Hidan." Were Pain's last words as he disappeared from sight.
"Well, that's the way the cookie crumbles isn't it?" Kisame grinned.
"That makes no sense whatsoever." Kakuzu said, and he laid down a pair of tweezers.
"Aw shit!" Hidan cursed, and he laid down his hand, a nuke and a twig. "I swear you're fucking cheating."
"You lose Hidan, next time you lose you're my personal slave for 3 weeks." Kakuzu gathered up the cards and started shuffling them while Hidan pulled out one of his major veins with tweezers.
"Screw you." Hidan growled.
--
"It wasn't a clone." Itachi told her.
"Shut up pompous ass!"
"Tell me, how did you learn to break free of the chakra rope?" He asked.
"I learned a few secrets about them from a friend." Sakura growled.
"Was it a Hyuuga?" His answer was Sakura trying, once again, to nail his gut. "I'll take that as a yes."
"You're going to pay for killing Neji!" Sakura shouted, and came at him once again.
"Did you love him?" Itachi smirked, Sakura growled.
"Fuck you Uchiha!"
--
Konan heard some footsteps stop outside her room, she had locked the door and was crying inside. The person knocked on the door.
"What do you want Pain?" Konan asked, trying to make her voice fill with contempt.
"I want you." Pain's voice came from outside the door, Konan stopped crying suddenly.
--
"Stay still damnit! I can't kick your ass if you keep moving around like that!" Sakura growled at him.
"Unfortunately, I cannot stand still because I do not want to be hit." Itachi said pompously.
"Fuck you Uchiha!"
"No matter how many times you say that, I will not be fucked by you." Sakura jumped at him, trying to kick his head into the wall. Itachi ducked the kick, grabbed her ankle and threw her against the opposite wall.
"Shit..." Sakura winced from the impact. She glared at Itachi, not even bothering to get up.
"I'll take you're not moving as a sign you'll behave." He said, Sakura just glared at him.
'Behave my ass.'
'As soon as he lets his guard down, he's getting a punch to the face! CHA!'
"Hey, bend over." Sakura told him.
"Why?" He asked.
"So I can KICK YOUR ASS!"
--
And we'll end on that note. Yes, Neji Hyuuga is dead. Why? Because I fucking SAID so. If you have any complains about it, SCREW YOU!
Have a nice day.