Recap:

"YO…FLOWER-CHAN! We need new camera's…But make sure they are cheap." Kakuzu said.

"Oh shut the fuck up bitch!" Flower-Chan said then went into her new office.

"Alright… FIVE…FOUR….THREE…TWO…ONE…" Kakuzu yelled then pointed at Yondaime and Madara….

Chapter One: Konoha, Weather, Lottery Oh My

"Hello and welcome to Akatsuki Central News…I'm your host Uzamaki Arashi…" Yondaime began.

"And I'm Uchiha Madara…" Madara cut in.

"And we're your anchor men." They both said, Kakuzu giving them a thumbs up for their process thus far.

"So Madara what does it feel like having SECOND chair compared to moa of course?" Yondaime asked placing a hand on his chest.

"Be careful Arashi if you brag too much your hair will fall out!" Madara hissed warningly, Kakuzu going into sweat drop now thinking this wasn't going to turn out good at all.

"Oh come now Madara don't be a spoiled sport since, of course I was the first to defeat you and take over leader ship." Yondaime said and then was tackled out of his seat by Madara. Tobi came on and took the microphone.

"Um and now over to Itachi with an interview with a team from Konoha!" Tobi exclaimed the screen switching over to a very annoyed Itachi who was trying to ignore Sasuke who was yelling curses at his brother being held back by Sakura and Naruto.

"Hi this is Uchiha Itachi standing with Squad Seven of Konoha…So tell me Kakashi-San how does it feel having my FOOLISH little brother on your team?" Itachi asked holding the microphone to Kakashi's mouth.

"Well I have to say…" Kakashi began.

"He's a real dobe!" Naruto interrupted being tackled to the ground by Sakura.

"Um…And how does it feel having two bakas on your team?" Itachi asked motioning his eyes towards Naruto and Sakura holding the microphone to Kakashi, but before he could say anything Sasuke stole the microphone.

"Hello Konoha this is Uchiha Sasuke speaking and I have a few phrases to say…" Sasuke began slowly turning and facing Itachi. Who was now thinking this wasn't going as he planned.

"I'm going to kill your ass you mother fucking piece of shit of a damn Uchiha genius! One of these days…" Sasuke began but all of a sudden Amaya and Sasomi walked up arguing over something random.

"Um yes Amaya?" Itachi asked stealing back the microphone and holding it up to the young girl ignoring the googling eyes coming from Sasomi…Squad Seven in utmost confusion.

"Um yea…Which fucking way do you take at the damn mother fucking pitch fork in the road?" Amaya asked bored.

"Um you take…" Sasuke began.

"Left." Itachi finished.

"Eye Twitches Okay mother fucker daddy Kakuzu says take the right you say take the left and this fucking pinhead says lets do the shoe fortune technique!" Amaya yelled pointing at Sasomi who then twitched but ignored the comment for now…she was too busy gawking at Itachi.

"You take the fucking right path god damn it!" Sasuke finally yelled, somehow through out Konoha there is laughter.

"Well you would know that since you were his sex toy for a while." Amaya smirked and dragged Sasomi off.

"Don't worry Itachi my love I'll be back for you!" Sasomi called throwing a hanky to Itachi who caught it. Once Amaya and Sasomi were out of sight Itachi stuffs the hanky down Sasuke's throat before the young boy could say anything.

"And there you have it residence of Konoha the interview of Squad Seven…Now back to you Arashi-Sama…and…UNCLE!" Itachi said the camera switching back to Madara and Yondaime.

"Thank you my NEPHEW!" Madara said through gritted teeth, slightly twitching Yondaime laughing to himself.

"And…And now to Sasori with the weather!" Yondaime laughed falling backwards in his chair. Madara smacking himself in the face with the clip board he had; the camera had switched over to a VERY VERY VERY bored Sasori.

"Um greeting I am Akasuna no Sasori…Oh fuck introductions everyone is going to die in a massive flood due to it going to be raining for the rest of eternity!" Sasori said with boredom. Suddenly Sasomi stormed in backhanding Sasori stealing the microphone.

"I dearly apologize for my older twin brothers insolence…In Konoha it shall be sunny with a few scattered showers…And Suna unfortunately the temperature is going to rise to a high of 200 degrees and the low shall reach 159 degrees I highly apologize…Now Sasori when we go home…your ass is mine!" Sasomi growled.

"Sniff, sniff Where's my baby?!" Hidan complained beginning to cry.

"Oh I tied her to the fork in the road with blessed ninja wire." Sasomi said and walked out…Somewhere near the Sound Village.

"Only you can make me feel so true
I'll never never be so blue as long as I have you

Only you can make me feel so true
What ever ever I can do it's because of you
Only you can make me feel so true
I'll never never be so blue as long as I have you." Amaya was singing Kabuto walking up with an ice cream cone which had caused her to stop singing and start licking her lips hungrily. Kabuto shrugged then walked off to the right path.

"GIMME THE GOD DAMN FUCKING ICE CREAM YOU MOTHER FUCKING PEDOPHILE!" Amaya yelled rocking the fork in the road to where it fell over just as Sasomi with raised eyebrows shrugging and began dragging Amaya and the fork with her closely behind Kabuto stealing the ice cream stuffing it into Amaya's mouth. Back at the news station it had been switched back to Yondaime and Madara.

"So Yondaime have you told Naruto…THE TRUTH?!" Madara asked Yondaime slowly turned his head to the 90 year old Uchiha pulling a kunai out.

"You say anything and I'll castrate you then make you eat them!" Yondaime warned hissing at Madara.

"And now to Tobi with the lottery." Kisame said coming on with a microphone, the camera switching over to Tobi who was just standing there now staring into the camera not knowing what to do.

"Um…Tobi is a good boy!" He cheered and began dancing around in front of the camera. Next thing everyone knew Itachi walked on stealing the microphone.

"Today's five lucky numbers are; B4, A2, G9, N4 and L7." Itachi said and walked off his eyes twitching, as the camera was switched back over to Yondaime and Madara.

"And now we'll be right back after these commercial messages." Madara smilled waiting for Kakuzu's signal that they had gone to commercial. Once they received it Madara began trying to strangle Yondaime. Kakuzu and Hidan wandering about their precious little daughter; Sasori hoping his sister gets eaten by something.

TBC

I hoped you peeps liked it! Review and more shall come! For warning we will be changing our name to AnimeFreaks in one week due to our name on which is also AnimeFreaks.