A/N- I was so excited to have three reviews that I decided to post this tonight. I hope you like it!
Thank you to those of you who reviewed. Don't worry whitehound, Hermione fully respects his right to be sour. She just wants to make sure he stays normally sour, not suicidal sour. :) As before, thanks to Numairs-Magelet for giving me the idea to write this, and to Amanda for writing a brilliant list.
I put the original parts of the list that I used in the chapter at the bottom. I will do that for every chapter.
Of course, I own nothing, make no money... at all, trust me.
Only the Beginning
"Here, this will have have to do. Hi Luna."
Luna gazed up at Harry from her copy of The Quibbler which, suprisingly, she was reading right-side up. "Hello Harry." She replied. "Did you have a nice summer?"
"As well as can be expected" he answered. "Hey! Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm Head Girl Harry, I have to sit up front and patrol the train. It's my job to make sure nobody misbehaves."
"Does that include you Hermoine?" Ron asked innocently as he moved passed her into the compartment.
Hermione placed her hands on her hips and took a deep breath- all signs of a severe telling-off. "I told you Ron, this isn't about breaking the rules or getting in trouble. I am doing a service to a man who is one of the most unsung heros of our time! I am also doing a service to you and everyone else who may have a hard time living in the real world again after such a tragic hiatus! Look me in the eyes Ronald Weasley and tell me you won't think its funny when I... I... transfigure Snape's hair bright pink or something."
Ron guffawed. "You're gonna do what?"
"Is that really on the list?" Ginny asked from behind Hermione.
"No, its not, but the point remains valid."
"Hermione, I know you're always right but I really can't see how this is gonna help Snape" Harry ventured. "I mean, I see how it helps us, but-"
"Actually" Luna interupted dreamily, "I think transfiguring Professor Snape's hair pink is a great idea."
Ron gave Harry a suspicious look before asking her how she figured that.
"Well, everybody knows that pink hair is happy hair. And it will fit his complexion."
"Speaking of Head Girl duties" Hermione said, after a few moments of confused silence as they all tried to figure out what 'happy hair' was, "you are still a prefect, Ron. You have to come up front as well."
"Uh-uh!" Ron shook his head vigourously, plopping down in the seat next to Luna. "Not while Malfoy is there, with his stupid arrogant face and his stupid point-docking little... self. And besides, I can't face him if he's wearing a stupid Head Boy badge."
"Hes not Head Boy" Hermione replied instantly, "Ernie Macmillan is."
"Pompous git" Ron remarked to no one in general. "At least he's not Malfoy though."
Hermione turned on her heel and left the compartment.
"Alright, I'm coming! Keep you hair on." Ron scrambled after her. "Hey, how long is this list exactly?"
"It contains one hundred things that are sure to annoy Snape. Well, anyone really, if you think about it, but mostly him."
"I thought Ginny only wrote, like, twenty-five."
"She did. I kept those but came up with a few of my own. I never would have thought to do this if it hadn't been for her."
"Seventy-five is not a few. And be sure to thank her after you've spent a night beheading Egyptian Water Beetles or somthing" Ron advised darkly. "Hey, look its the ferret! Come on, lets hex him."
"No Ron!" Hermione admonished, grabbing his wand. "We have to set an example."
"But after everything he did! Don't tell me you believe that he didn't really want to do it, and that he was afraid You-Know-Who would kill him if he didn't and all that rubbish."
"It doesn't matter now, Ronald. The war is over, just leave it!" And with that she pulled him passed the compartment with Malfoy in it and they bickered the entire way down the train.
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'OK this is it, breathe Hermione, breathe.'
Now that it came right down to it, her famous, or infamous, Gryffindor courage was failing her.
"Great" she muttered to herself.
"Whuffs zhdat?" Ron asked, spraying bits of Yorkshire pudding across the table.
"Nothing" Hermione answered. "I'm just... I guess... Oh shut up!" she snapped at Harry, who was clearly trying to supress a grin.
"I didn't say anything" Harry protested. "Look, if you want to back out, theres still time. And we won't think any less of you for it."
"Shhhh. McGonagalls trying to talk."
As the Headmistress gave her start of term speech, Hermione could only stare at the dour Potions Master sitting to her right. Was it her imagination, or did he look more surly than ever? Wow, he didn't even flinch when McGonagall introduced Lupin as the new-kind of- DADA teacher. That couldn't be a good sign.
"Uh... Hermione."
She looked up to see that everyone was starting to leave the Great Hall. "First years!" She called above the din. "First years, follow me."
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She slept fitfully, but upon waking her courage had more or less returned. She went downstair to find Ron and Harry waiting for her.
"Hi sleepyhead."
"We thought you decided to make a run for it" joked Harry, grinning. "Ginny already went down to breakfast."
"Very funny, I'm ready. Wait... I forgot my Charms book. I'm sure we're going to have that first thing. You guys go on, I'll meet you down there."
"How can she possibly know what class we'll have first?" she heard Ron ask as she ran back up to the girls' dormitory. She smiled thinking about how much grinning Harry had been doing lately. 'Clearly my plan is working better than you thought already, Harry Potter' she thought to herself.
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As she hurried down to the Great Hall she was so caught up in trying to decide how exactly she should put her plan into action that she didn't notice the black-clad figure turning the corner right into her path. They collided at full force and Hermione had to grip the wall frantically to keep from falling. When she saw who it was she almost fainted. Somthing must have registered on her face because Potions Master was looking at her rather oddly.
"Are you lost, Ms. Granger?" he asked silkily.
"Uh.. no. But actually, I have.. erm... lost somthing."
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"I've lost... I seem to have lost my pet werewolf, sir. Have you seen it?"
This time both of Snape's eyebrows shot up.
"Your what?" he asked, his voice dangerously low.
"Hermione!"
Thank Merlin for Ron, she thought as she fled down the hallway to where he was standing with Harry, leaving a very confused professor behind.
"Where have you been? You missed breakfast. Here's you schedule, we do have Charms first. I dunno how you know these things. Maybe you shouldn't have given up Divination; you're a right sight better than Trelawney anyway..." Hermione tuned Ron out as she followed him and Harry to the Charms classroom, trying to still her wildly beating heart.
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"Stop laughing!"
"I wish I could of seen his face!" Ron said between gasps. "That was bloody brilliant! How did you come up with that one?"
"I said SHUT UP" Hermione hissed angrily. "He's going to hear you!"
They were waiting at the door to the Potions classroom and Snape would be out there any minute. She was regretting telling them already.
"What are you gonna do in class?" Harry asked eagerly.
"Nothing if you two prats can't keep your mouths shut!"
Suddenly the door to the classroom opened and Profesor Snape ushered them inside. Hermione kept her eyes down as she passed him.
"Settle down" Snape said once they were seated, not that he needed to. "I see that in my absence several below-average students were mistaken for competent potions brewers." His gaze rested on Ron and Harry. "No matter, now that I am grading you again, you will receive your proper marks."
He began the roll, starting with Boot, then Brocklehurst, two of the Ravenclaw students. Next was Granger.
"Eek!" She squeaked.
Snape looked up from the parchment, eyes narrowed. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, Ms. Granger."
She tried to look as innocent as possible as the entire class stared at her. Ron and Harry were desperately trying not to laugh.
"Lets try this again. Granger."
"Eek!"
"Is somthing ailing you Ms. Granger? Perhaps the disappearance of a certain pet werewolf?"
Hermione mouthed gibberish at him.
"Thats quite enough Ms. Granger! If you are ill I suggest you leave my classroom. Ten points from Gryffindor! Macmillan." He continued the roll call and set them to brewing the Draught of the Living Dead as review. With the exception of two other times Hermione caught his eye and mouthed urgent nonsense (which he ignored) the class passed without incident.
As they left the dungeons Harry and Ron were muttering darkly about the two foot long essay due next class.
"Stupid git. Did he really expect anyone to know what would happen when you mix moonstone with powedered root of asphodel?"
"Doesn't he realize that we have other classes too?"
"Can you believe he only took ten points from Gryffindor?"
"Only?" Ron looked at her in disbelief. "You were trying for more?"
"I think you're looking at this too closely Hermione" Harry added. "You should be thankful."
But Hermione was anything but thankful. Clearly she needed to try harder if she was going to penetrate that tough outer shell of his. She knew this was only the beginning.
The List
1. Tell him you've lost your pet werewolf and has he seen it?
2. Squeak softly everytime he says your name during roll-call.
3. Anytime you catch his eye, mouth something undecipherable at him. Make it look urgent.
Well there you have it- chapter two. I hope you liked it. Review please, it makes me very happy, especially detailed reviews that tell me exactly what you like/don't like.
--Shadow--