"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars"
- by Violeta Para
A gentle breeze came in through the window and filled the room with the scent of the still blossoming flowers of spring.
There in the room, sitting on a chair at the kitchen table, sat a young woman. A strand of her chestnut brown hair, that was loosely tied to a bun, fell in front of her face. She hastily secured it behind her ear, as she kept tapping her right foot on the floor repeatedly. Silently, she hummed the tune of the song, that was quietly blasting through the radio on the kitchen counter.
For a moment she closed her eyes, trying to grasp the idea that popped up in her head. All the while tapping her pen to the beat of the song, that was currently playing in the background. Creating one of her own, with the steady tapping of her foot on the floor and the one of her pen on her notepad, that was full of messily written lines. Most of them already double crossed, because they just didn't fulfil her expectations. She couldn't really focus on writing anything, because every time she tried to, her mind just went back to things she didn't want to think about.
It had been two weeks since she was back. She left the day after she declared to Liam that she'd go and had been away for 3 months. But instead of clearing her mind like she had intended to, she had just ignored it. Enjoying her time with her family back in her birthplace in Lancaster. It had been years since she really had spent time with her family, just meeting to rare family gatherings, like Christmas and stuff like that. There were only two family members she had had constant contact to, since she started in an University in London.
Heather Karrson, her older sister, who had moved to London when she married and was now living here with her husband and three children.
And Alex, well Alexandra Karrson, her one year younger niece and one and only very best friend. How is this possible, you ask? Simply having four older siblings and your mother getting pregnant for the first time at 19, made it possible.
Alex and Eve literally grew up together. You could never see one without the other, and no one was ever able to separate them. Not even their different careers succeeded in that. Because even though Evelyn went to college intending to study literature and philosophy, having the dream of becoming an author, but also thinking about becoming a teacher if that didn't work. But since Fate had had his own ways, she became something she never expected to, a songwriter. Making it, with her two strong passions for music and writing, the perfect job for her. A dream she never even dared to dream.
Alex instantly lived her dream of becoming an photographer after finishing highschool, since she was very talented she got many acceptances, but obviously took the apprenticeship that was offered to her in London, even though it wasn't the most professional offer she got, she didn't care much as long as she was by the side of her best friend.
So it was safe to use the word inseparable for these two.
You can probably now guess, how upset Alex had been about Eve's absence, even more so about her not telling her until she was in the airport. But she hadn't really stayed mad for long, after all she understood that Eve didn't just leave for fun, but because she really needed it.
Now being back in London just seemed so strange, it felt surreal. It was harder than Eve would've thought to adjust here again. To work, interact with people, being known by people and recognized just everything. And that was the reason, that the only she did since she came back was, lock herself in her flat and do the only thing she was really good at, write songs.
Her days consisted of sitting at home, staring at blank pages and writing, or well trying to. Much similar to her current position. She even avoided the meetings at the studio, at least the ones she could. Sometimes she had to be there to got through some song arrangement, lyrics changes, who would sing which part, or even what she was supposed to write. These were all things she had to arrange with management, her co workers, like the ones who arranged the beats and stuff like that, and of course the girls. The stars, celebrities, whatever you wanted to call them, she worked with for more than half a year now. Four girls that formed a band nearly five years ago and are known world wide since then. The first girl band to ever win the X-Factor . You still don't know who these girls are? Well none other than Jesy Nelson, Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards, better known as Little Mix. Like usually, it all started off as 'just business', but soon Eve realized just how crazy these girls were and how many things they had in common. It didn't take them really long to bond, turning this the second case of working with celebrities, in which she found some cool friends.
She guessed she used to be good at writing songs, nowadays it just didn't come to her as easy as it used to. So she made it her job to solely focus on making it work again. No matter how difficult it seemed to be...
It was just something you connected with your feelings. And Evelyn's feelings right now, were nothing but a total mess. One t she really didn't want to write about. But writing something that didn't connect to your feelings, those songs would be unauthentic and total crap. You had to feel a song, to feel that it's real for it to be good. You couldn't feel a song when it was unauthentic, because the songwriter refused to write down her current feelings.
And not working, until all this was over, wasn't an option either. Firstly, she didn't know when this would be over. In fact she didn't even know if it would be ever coming to an end. Secondly she had to work, she couldn't afford to have anymore time out to deal with her stuff. She had already left her work for three months. It wasn't the fact, that the girls weren't able to fend for themselves. Little Mix was great and they probably wouldn't even need a songwriter, but they couldn't just focus on songs. They had some other thinks to think and worry about. Like, music videos, interviews, choreography for their dances on wrote songs in unison with Eve and gave her their notes and ideas, but they couldn't solely focus on writing songs. That's were Eve's part in helping them, came in.
Well, she hadn't done a good job these past months, and even now. It was her job to be there for them and help them, instead it was them taking care of herand looking after her.
She wasn't the first person, who had to suffer a break up, from the person she loved and thought loved her too, and certainly not the last. So she had to get her shit together and keep on going, no matter how much it hurt. She couldn't spend her life thinking about 'what if's', she had never done that, no matter the situation she was going through and she wouldn't start now. She wouldn't repeat the mistakes of the ones that left her, she would make sure the people around her were happy. If that meant forcing a smile on her face, when all she wanted to do was cry,then so be it.
Maybe if she pretended long enough,...she would be able to even fool herself...
Evelyn tried to focus on the page in front of her, but there was not nothing to really inspire her. While she had been away, Little Mix of course had kept working on the new album 'Glory Days'. They had already finished writing and recording 8 songs, and two music videos. One of them was 'Touch', Alex had shown it Eve as soon as she was back, saying it was awesome and one of her favourite songs of these album, together with an upcoming one.
The upcoming song would be released pretty soon and had a music video too. The girls didn't want to show her the song until it was published, which was a little strange but she just shrugged it off.
15 songs had to be finished and recorded till the end of October, to be released in gave her just a little more than 6 months. Sometimes it took 6 months to just write one song, let alone record it. But she would make it, she still had some notes that she was able to use, if only she could somehow get past her writer's block. But she would be able to make it and finish the songs, she had to. But she would be lying if she said that she wasn't suffocating under this added time pressure, which totally stressed her out. This heavy pressure didn't get any lighter, when she thought about having Little Mix's management and her own Manager breath down her neck.
Daniel, her manager, understood and let her go through with a lot of things. But even he hadn't been all too thrilled to hear that Eve had just packed her things and left. It took him a lot, to convince Little Mix's management to not break off her contract and just throw her out immediately. The girls came in useful here since they covered some of her part, so that they didn't throw her out. And she was grateful for all four of them. Management didn't care about her private life, the only thing important was what and how she worked. And leaving wasn't a way to show off, the total opposite. The last thing Evelyn needed right now, was to lose her job. Well, she wouldn't really lose it, cause there were other artist's she could work with. But they certainly wouldn't be as easy and comfortable to work with like Little Mix. And it wouldn't be that easy to find someone else to work with, since most artist's either did already have their own songwriter with their label or co-workers, or just didn't appreciate and want to work with a songwriter.
Her thoughts were however interrupted, when a familiar voice reached her ears. Instantly her heart stopped beating for a moment, only to start pounding as the song lyrics began to play.
"She got, she got,
Her own reasons
For talking to me.
She don't, she don't, she don't,
Give a fuck,
About what I need."
What an irony, wasn't it? Now that she couldn't write any lyrics because of him. It seemed he actually got a new inspiration
Funny, how as this thought crossed her mind her pen had long fallen to the ground and was now laying there, long forgotten, like her heart and feelings were by Zayn. Just thinking of his name made her insides burn, his voice did nothing but stir the fire.
She wanted to be brave, be strong and bury all her weaknesses.
But who was there to be brave for? Who was there to be strong for?
No one but her broken self and the taunting voice of the one and only who was holding her heart in his grasp, not seeming to want to let it go. Not when he was obviously having so much fun torturing it. His voice kept singing, not caring what an effect it made on her. Not caring how much it burned her inside.
"Tell me your lies ,
Because I just can't face it.
It's you, It's you ,
It's you.
It's you, It's you,
It's you."
Was he doing it on purpose? Was he aware of what he was doing? How could he not ? Evelyn never hid her thoughts or feelings with him, but the more she heard, the more she regretted it. She didn't understand, she didn't understand what she had done to deserve this lines. Maybe if the lines didn't cut her the way they did, she would've been able to pretend that they weren't about her. But if she learned one thing in her 21 years in this world it was, that coincidences like that, didn't exist.
Which made one single question surface in her mind.
Why?
It was past all her knowledge to answer this question. After all, wasn't he the one who broke up with her? Why the hell did he let it seem like this was all her fault? Did he finally lose his mind?
Evelyn could've screamed, pulled at her hair until she tore it out of its roots. But the only thing she did was stay frozen in her place and stare straight ahead, as the sound of this cruel Zayn overpowered the memory of the Zayn she loved, turning them all in pictures that meant nothing. Just paper, that was just used to keep the flame, that was ignited in her heart, burning.
Why did it just have to hurt this much?
"I won't, I won't, I won't.
Cover the scar,
I'll them bleed.
So my silence,
So my silence won't,
Be mistaken for peace.
Am I wrong, for wanting us to make it?"
Well obviously,yes. Or else he wouldn't have stopped them from making it. These all were just fool words, trying to make her feel maybe even make her hope? For a future with him. Was he this cruel?
Well, a future with him was definitely not an option, no longer.
Maybe her body was frozen, but her mind was not, and one thing she promised herself in that moment.
Evelyn MarissaKarrson won't never ever ever get back together with Zayn Malik. No matter what happened, no matter if he wanted it, begged for it or made promises. He had made promises before and look where they brought her.
There wasn't a chance in the world that she would be with him, after everything he put her through. She would be foolish, stupid and blind if she allowed that to happen.
Little did she realise, that love was precisely all this things. Love made people become foolish, blind and in most cases stupid.
Here I am again, so this is the Prologue. So here we already get a lot more information about Evelyn, her job and a part of her relationship.
As you see by her relationship to the things going on, you might or might not think that Eve is far to dramatic about this whole break up thing. But this relationship had been a strong one and she really cared and loved Zayn and apart from that you later on see that this was just the final blow to something greater. So please don't have any prejudices and wait for the story to continue to judge and just give it a chance.
Also this was just edited by me and there might be still some mistakes, I sincerely apologies for them. I promise they'll be edited after my Beta-reader and I take a better look at it.
So again I hope you enjoyed, if you didn't please be kind enough to tell me my mistakes or what you don't like in a comment, just don't be too rude. I can handle criticism but "hating" is an utterly other thing.
Comment, Vote and just READ.
P.S: Every quote that neither has a name nor 'unknown' written under it, is one written by myself.
