That afternoon, sitting at bar, being glad to have a night alone with Rikku... I couldn't blame it on the heat anymore. Something was making me crazy, but it wasn't the temperature. It was my heart... My heart? Perhaps only my lust, not my heart.

My heart died a long time ago, I remembered. I hated remembering.

"Paine, what's wrong?" Rikku asked me.

"Nothings wrong." I lied.

"But you were just smiling, and now you're not. It was nice to see you smile, Paine." The statement caught me off guard. I didn't know what to do. I stared at the bar stool she was sitting on. Her long legs were hanging over the stool like a child's. Her feet resting on the metal bars that held the stool together rather than on the ground. It was gradually getting a bit cooler now and neither of us were sweating anymore even though it was still hot, but her legs were just as gorgeous as they were on her bed a half an hour earlier.

Okay staring at the barstool was a bad idea. I redirected my gaze toward the Hypello who was busily cleaning the floor across the bar.

"Even if I had to drink nasty vodka to see it." She added with a grin.

"What?" I asked glancing over at her.

"You smiling! Silly, you've got too much on your mind, I was just saying." She chided me playfully. Normally I would have said something about it, but I didn't care to anger her right now.

"Oh, yeah." I remembered and I scolded myself for forgetting and sounding so stupid.

"Do you want to go out on the deck?" Rikku asked. I looked around to see who she was talking to, but apparently she was asking me. "It's just that It's a bit cooler now, it might be nice to get some fresh air." I nodded my head without words and we both got up and went to the elevator.

Our engine had been dying out a bit recently and the elevator moved slower than usual. Rikku was singing some little song in the silence, obviously bored that the trip was taking so long.

"Everything that you feel

Is everything that I feel

So when we dream..."

"Stop singing that awful song!" I told her. She really wasn't very talented and her high pitched voice and love song got on my nerves.

"How about this one?" She asked as she opened her mouth to sing again.

"No, I don't..." I was too late. Dammit, I was too late.

"I'm so miserable...

I hate my life...

I hate my friends...

I don't like anything...

Except alcohol...

And being miserable..." She sang the makeshift song with no tune in a voice that sounded like she was dying.

I shook my head in playful shame, but inside I was smiling. She was cute, swaying around the elevator singing and slouching like a depressed person. However, I reserve the right to deny all of this at a later date.

We finally got to our destination and Rikku bolted from the elevator out onto the red metal deck. It occurred to me when I stepped out onto the metal that it would probably act as a baking sheet and I would be unmercifully sunburned tomorrow. It was cooler than before, but you could still see the heat rising off of the deck at our feet. Luckily the sun and the celsius were lined up perfectly to provide some shade, which is where I immediately placed myself. Rikku ran around hopping for a few moments trying to allow her bare feet to get used to scorching metal, but it failed she soon joined me in the shade as well.

"Ooww." She whined as she slunk down the wall of the ship and held her feet in her hands. "It's hot." She added.

"Of course it's hot," I chastised. "It's metal."

She looked up at me with sad eyes and I almost felt bad for scolding her about it. It was her fault though, she should have known better than to walk out here barefoot. I sighed and sat next to her.

"Are you alright?" I asked, trying to sound a bit more sympathetic to her situation. She didn't answer. I took her hand away from her foot and looked at it. Red, but it would be fine. "Well, there's not any blisters or anything, that's good." I said as I sat back against the wall with her.

It was a few moments before I realized that she wasn't saying anything, and that was highly unusual. I looked at her to make sure she was okay, and her face was burning red.

"Is it too hot out here for you?" I asked moving closer to see if maybe she had a touch of heat stroke. My hip met resistance. And then I realized it.

Shit!!

My mind screamed and my heart raced. My hip had bumped into her hand... Which was still held in mine. When I took her hand off of her foot to look at it, I never let go. I couldn't stop my face from turning red as well. How could I be so stupid? I didn't even realize I was holding her hand! Somehow I managed to calm myself for a moment and I jerked my hand away. My mind was still racing, but I miraculously came to the conclusion that if I pretended it never happen maybe she would too.

I looked over at her to see how she had reacted. She had her hands tucked in her chest and a small blush was still seen on her face. She looked at me, her eyes wide and lips parted. We gazed at each other, neither one of us knowing what to do. I wanted to turn back time, do it over. Let go of her hand when I was done looking at her foot and not hold it for full minutes after.

"Why are you two out here? It's so hot." Yuna called from the elevator. For once I was glad for the high summoner's arrival.

"It'll be getting cooler soon, I thought we'd enjoy some air." Rikku called back.

"Well, we're near Besaid, are you two going to come down and say hi to Lulu and Wakka?" She asked.

"Sure." Rikku said as she hopped up and dashed across the deck, trying not to burn her feet again. I stayed there until we landed. I needed some time by myself.

My plan to pretend holding her hand never happened worked well for the most part. Aside from a few odd looks from Yuna when I saw her next. I knew Rikku was bound to tell her, she can't keep anything to herself.

The three of us disembarked from the air ship as soon as we landed on Besaid and made our way over to Wakka and Lulu's hut. For a moment I could have sworn Rikku reached out her hand to me, but she pulled it back before I was sure. The grimace on her face made me thing she did it by instinct and realized it too late.

"Hey you guys, we were expecting you!" Wakka shouted, even though we were three feet away from him.

"Lulu!" Rikku cried and ran to the older woman and hugged her. Lulu smiled and hugged her back. I think I may have been jealous. Maybe not.

"Would you three like to stay for dinner?" Wakka asked. I wanted to say no, just to get that stupid giddy look off of Rikku's face when she heard the question.

"They don't have to stay, I'm here to get away from them for a while." Yuna said. Once more I was happy for the summoner's presence.

"Nonsense, they'll stay." Lulu commanded.

All through dinner heat began to rise in me again. Not sexual heat this time. Anger. The way Rikku doted over Lulu was enraging. She was staring at Lulu, passing her whatever was withing her reach, and jumping over people to pass her what wasn't.

And Lulu... Her breasts were about to pop out of that dress, start flapping, and carry her away at any moment. How anyone thought someone's breasts being squished out of a dress that dress that wouldn't contain them was attractive, I have no idea.

At one point I couldn't help pounding a fist into the table. I mean, I knew Rikku admired her, but this was insane.

Rikku looked at me with wide eyes and caught me shooting a quick glare at Lulu. I don't know if she understood or not, but after that she stopped.

During dessert her hand she wasn't eating with fell from the table. I didn't think anything of it, until her fingers brushed my leg. When I looked at her she just smiled. She didn't stop. Her fingers stayed against my leg until we got up to leave. We said thank you to the hosts and we left.

"Were you jealous in there?" Rikku asked me with a smile.

"Jealous? Of course not." I told her with ice in my voice.

She giggled. Her hand reached out once more. And after a moment of hesitation, her hand was in mine. I didn't look at her. I was afraid to look into her eyes. I'd been so vulnerable today I didn't want her to see anything. But I let her hold my hand as we walked back to the celsius. It may have been a bad idea. Because when I was ready for bed that night, she was nestled in my blankets.