Same disclaimer as before.

Quick chapter update, I know.

I'm going to really keep up with this story.

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(Thanks to those who reviewed already)

After I realized my food didn't get there, it immediately came. I paid the guy and brought the food to my kitchen table and began eating. Of course, Alex was staring down the entire time. It didn't bother me until I turned around and she still had that damn smirk on her face.

I sighed, "Would you like some?" I was being generous, I know.

"No thanks Liv. Eat up, I'm sure it's gonna be a long night considering those were the first words you spoke to me since I came inside. I wouldn't count you freaking out over your food not being here, so I'll let it slide..." I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at my stupidity.

After about 10 minutes, I got up and sat next to her on the couch. She went to grab my hand but I immediately held it to myself. "Liv..."

"No Alex. No. It's my turn to talk. I don't want any sob stories of how you couldn't even contact us at all. No phone calls, no emails, NOTHING. How do you expect me to feel? I'm down right pissed off Alex..."

"I know that Liv that's why..."

"No! I want to let out everything I have to say before I lose the balls I grew to talk to you about all of this. Alex, can you honestly say that you've never driven by the precinct and thought about coming in and saying 'hello' to all of us? Can you honestly say that every time you picked up the phone to call me, you lost the courage to actually dial the number you knew by heart? Can you honestly say that every time you turned the TV on and Elliot and I were on the news for closing a case, you never thought about emailing us to congratulate us? For Christs Sake Alex, it's been 3 years since you've been back and you never came around to tell us that you were okay and breathing? How could you do this to us...? How could you do this... to me..?" I sobbed a little bit. My emotions were really getting the bets of me, and I couldn't help but get upset.

"We were so close Alex... How could you possibly do this to me? I tried to save you.. I held my hand on your shoulder as blood was pouring out, and I couldn't do a damn thing. I've blamed myself for so long for you so-called 'death'. I've wanted nothing more than to just find you and protect you myself. I kept thinking that maybe if I was a little bit faster I could've pushed you out of the way. I keep thinking that if you didn't come out with us that night, where would we be now? My heart was shattered into a million pieces when Elliot and I found out you were still alive. Every single damn day I thought about you and if you were safe. I feared that you wouldn't be able to adjust to your 'new life' and that things would go downhill for you. But then you came back for Liam Connors trial, and that gave me hope. In my head I was thinking, 'God she is more beautiful then ever. She has gone through so much and she still seems like the strong Alex Cabot that I once knew...' and then you did't even have the nerve to say goodbye after the trial?! That felt like a huge slap in the face Alex..."

I completely broke down at that point. Tears were cascading down my face freely and I couldn't stop them. Alex laid her hand on my shoulder and I accepted it. I knew I shouldn't, but just that small gesture made me want to latch on to her and never let go. So I did the one thing I didn't think I'd do... I grabbed onto her, and hugged her. Sure, it was just me crying into her chest, but it's what I needed. I needed to literally feel that she was there with me. I felt her rubbing circles onto my back trying to calm me down.

"Is it over yet Alex? Is this what it feels like to really cry? I've held on to your memory for so long because I thought that after Velez was killed, you'd come back in an instant.. But.. You didn't... You waited 3 years to come back. Why Alex, why? Did you expect everything to be okay when you suddenly just showed up at the precinct? Back into everyone's life? As happy as I was to see you that day, I wanted to downright tackle you and just beat you to a pulp."

We both laughed at that comment. I started pounding my fists against her chest, "Did you ever think that I needed you back in my life? I know I'm being selfish for getting so emotional about you being back, but I can't help it. You were my life-line at one point, and then you just left. It made me think that no matter who was in my life, they'd let me down. I couldn't take that from you. And then it happened and I just lost myself... I lost myself because I lost you..." I stopped talking because I was sobbing so hard that it was hard to breathe. She brought my head up to look into my eyes.

"Can I talk now Liv?" She smiled at me and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. I nodded and hugged her even closer to me. She rest her chin on top of my head.

"Oh Liv, I am so sorry... I never kne- thought that you would be this hard on yourself. Here I was scared to death to face you after the shooting because I thought you'd hate me... But the entire time you were the only one who ever really cared about me... When I was initially told about my mother's death, my heart broke. It broke because she died thinking that I was also no longer alive, but I really was. I guess I know how you feel now... Liv, I honestly never meant so much harm to you... Never in my mind did I want to intentionally hurt you... These past 3 years, I was so scared to confront you. The first week back I wanted to so bad, but I couldn't. Hammond was still being an ass about who I contact and everything. But, that's no excuse. You and I have always shared something more then anyone. After the first month past, I couldn't help but think that it's pointless to contact you because I thought you'd hate me. It killed me knowing that the woman I fell for hated me, so I pushed it away, and continued living the life I started..." I looked up at her.

"Wait... the woman you... fell for?" I was so hesitant because I was hoping I heard her correctly and I wasn't jumping the gun. She laughed.

"Yes Olivia... The woman I fell for. You were.. you are the most perfect woman I have ever met. There I was thinking I was helping you out, when in all actuality, I was killing you even more. I figured once you found out about me being released from WPP and not coming back right away, you'd give up. Oh how I was clearly wrong... Through out these past 2 years, I've practiced my speech to you over a thousand times, but every time I imagined it happened, you ran. You didn't even give me the time of day... So when I came back and met up with you and Elliot on the street, that gave me hope because you didn't run away. Sure, we had no tie to talk during the trial and everything, but you never once ran away. You stonewalled me a couple of times and ignored me countless times, but I couldn't blame you. I'm just so thankful you even smiled at me when you first saw me back. Hearing my name come from you mouth was a gift from Heaven because I dreamed of it so many times..."

She pulled up my face once more, and wiped the tears off of my face, "Liv, you were the reason I got through every night when I was gone. You were the reason I kept going each and everyday. These past 3 years, oh God , I thought about contacting you every single day. I have numerous emails on my laptop that I started typing to you. I even walked by the precinct almost 1 a week and imagined myself walking in. I just couldn't Liv. I couldn't face the possible ejection that you would've given me. I knew everyone else would have opened their arms immediately to me, but I knew you'd be different. I'm surprised you even let me in tonight to plead my case..." She now had tears streaming down her face.

She coughed and cleared her throat so she wouldn't break down completely, "I am so happy that you let me in tonight... I couldn't bear another day without you knowing the truth..." I sat up straight.

"Wait.. the truth? The truth that you crushed my heart? That you tore it out of my chest and threw it out the window 40 stories high? Or the fact that you stole my heart in the first place..?" I was raising my voice, getting angry again.

She grabbed my hand and sighed, looking down. "The truth... I want to put the pieces of your heart back together... I screwed up Liv, God knows I screwed up really bad.. I just want to be the one who makes you smile again.. To be able to make you ha-"

I cut her off. "What right do you have to say that I deserve to be happy and that you want to be the one who makes me happy and the one that fixes me?"

She stood up, gathering her coat, "Why Liv? Because I love you..." And she walked out.

After telling someone you love them, how could you just walk out? Here I was, expecting something completely different, and she tells me all nonchalant that she loves me... Oh God, what have I done... I need to go find her and tell her how I feel... It may not be what she wants to hear, but she needs to know.

But a part of me just can't get up to move.

Am I in shock? Partially.

Am I scared? Incredibly.

Am I happy? Extremely.

For the first time in years, I'm happy.

I put the leftovers in the fridge, and I run out the door, not caring to lock it behind me..

"I'm coming Alex... please wait for me..."