good wife.
.
"Right," Furuichi frowned, scooping the ice-cream sundae in his arms. "So you want more advice?"
Oga looked at him like he was trying to figure out whether asking Furuichi of all people was the best decision. "Basically, that's it."
"Are you guys like, going out or something?" he asked carefully, eyeing his best friend's hands as it moved to munch on his sandwich, scared if it will assault him. "If you are, it'd be easier."
There was silence as Oga thought about his options. He could lie, and Furuichi wouldn't find out who the topic of their conversation was, or he could say the truth and have better answers. But, technically, people did look at him and Hilda as husband and wife, so they kinda were in a relationship.
"Yeah," he said quickly. "Yeah we are," he repeated again, as if unsure himself, and bit his lunch, swallowing it slowly. Furuichi looked at him, completely doubting his words. Oga smiled at him.
"Show her your courage," Furuichi began dramatically as soon as he saw the curl on his best friend's lips. "The best way to turn a woman on is to show her you fear nothing. They find it sexy," he wriggled his eyebrows to emphasize, and both Oga and Baby Beel scrunched theirs in disgust.
As the self proclaimed genius continued to spit out more pointless tips, Oga paid no attention, feeding the naked infant in his arms. "It won't work," he mumbled quietly, tipping the milk bottle slightly onto the demon king's mouth.
Furuichi seemed to hear it loud and clear, because he whipped his head to stare at the dark haired delinquent in confusion. "What won't?"
Oga looked at him, expressionless as he threw Baby Beel's rattle, right at Furuichi's forehead. Bullseye, he sniggered mentally as a loud yelp echoed in the air. "Your stupid advice won't," he said.
Ignoring the pounding on his head where the baby's toy hit him, Furuichi tried his best to look confident. "But it will," he promised, patting Oga by his shoulders. "But to think that you could have feelings," Furuichi snorted. "Has hell frozen over?"
Moving away from his hands, Oga sighed. "It won't work," he repeated, louder this time, hanging his head in defeat. "This girl's different. She's a merciless bitch. You think bitches will fall for cheap, romantic tricks? She won't. She's a—" he stuttered, feeling the unfamiliar blush climb its way on his cheeks. "Forget what I said."
Furuichi paused, and after a moment giggled a humorless laugh. But seeing the barely noticeable red tint on his face, he stopped. He wasn't kidding.
Oga wasn't kidding.
"Did you just-"
"I did not."
"But you-"
"You didn't hear a damn thing."
"At least finish what you said-"
"No."
Furuichi didn't speak at all after Oga raised Baby Beel's rattle in attempt to hurl it at him.
.
Oga was greeted with Hilda's foot when he got home. "Late again," the demon glared at the limp figure lying against the wall meters away from her. "This can't go on forever, Oga."
The delinquent bit his tongue, stopping himself from speaking. You're the damn reason I was late! No, he couldn't say that. There were boundaries. He couldn't step over the line. So he chose to grunt in pain at the feeling of a bruise forming on his abdomen. "Why are you always so harsh?"
Misaki threw a lazy grin at him over her shoulder. "Give her a break, Tatsumi. She was worried about you all day long."
The blonde must've taken Baby Beel away, because the infant wasn't in his arms anymore. "Me and Baby Beel," he corrected quietly. He walked upstairs with a swell on his chest he didn't quite recognize (Oga wasn't the world's biggest genius), and into his bedroom.
"You make me feel things," Oga said as casually as possible at the demon on his bed, ruffling her master's hair. He dropped the bag over his shoulder beside his bed. "Things I shouldn't feel." He didn't know why he sounded the slightest bit angry, trying to take off his socks with much difficulty.
"Like what?" Hilda responded softly, not wanting the infant to wake up. Oga felt his goose bumps rise on his skin at the sound of her voice.
Oga's surprised she replied, and that's why he took so long to find something to say as he searched through a pile of clothes for a clean one, "I don't even know myself, to be honest."
Hilda gave a small smile at him, although it lasted longer than he expected. "I'm not the best when it comes to emotions and such, Tatsumi."
The delinquent put on a fresh t-shirt without a single noise, although he was having an intense battle between in his head. Surely, a comment like "Me neither," wouldn't let her get any ideas, right? He's avoiding the blonde's piercing gaze, afraid he might just blurt everything out and regret it immediately after. A distant shout of 'Dinner's ready!' saved him from the trouble.
As he reached the doorknob, he suddenly spoke, "You should do that more often." Fuckfuckfuckfuck don't speak don't speak don't speak. It's too late now, and Hilda hadn't noticed anything as she looked at him, Baby Beel in her arms. "Smile."
With an inaudible snort, Hilda's lips quirked in an arrogant smile. "Who are you to tell me what I should do?" Oga knew she wasn't offended, nor did she mean it entirely. He closed the door behind him, thinking over and over again about the situation.
"You okay?" Misaki asked with concern laced in her voice.
Oga didn't reply because he wasn't even sure himself.
.
"You little bastard," Furuichi fumed the next day in classroom. "Our talk from yesterday isn't finished yet, Oga!"
Ignored. "Mornin', Kunieda."
The silver haired boy gritted his teeth. "What am I going to do when she returns your feelings? Then you two will be some sickly lovey dovey couple and I'll be left all alone, damn it! Why do you get all the pretty girls?"
Oga's hands dangerously hovered over Baby Beel's rattle. The baby squealed in delight. "Don't talk about it here, or my fingers might just slip." He grinned evilly. Furuichi saw a flash of sharp teeth.
"Fine," Furuichi grunted through gritted teeth, glaring at his best friend. Before he could speak, he nearly choked on air as the door slid slowly, revealing the blonde bombshell outside. "Is Jesus trying to fuck you up, Oga?" he whispered harshly at the student in front of him.
True to his suspicions, Oga was riled up as much as he was. "I will fuck him back up because he's being a son of a bitch," he gurgled as Hilda smirked at him.
"Morning, Tatsumi."
"Mornin'. What made you come? You tend to skip a lot these days," he said. Hilda stretched on her chair. Why did she fucking do that, that complete twat—
Another smirk. Was it just him, or was she acting much more cocky than usual? "I just missed the young master. I predicted you'll come home late again tonight, and I'm having none of that."
"Play with him all you want," Oga huffed, handing Baby Beel to the maid. "Aiih," the baby squealed as Hilda cuddled him.
Oga swallowed a thick lump in his throat unconsciously as he watched Hilda's neat braid sway slightly. Don't touch it. Don't touch it. Don't you fucking dare touch it.
And because Oga has that sort of luck, he leaned forward and coiled a strand of blonde hair around his fingers.
Ah.
He was screwed.
He couldn't stop his hand's movements, coiling and uncoiling, and Hilda froze when he tugged the hair. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. Thank God no one was watching.
…He was going to fuck Jesus up.
But she didn't move away, nor did she yell at him. He's at least 99.9% sure she relaxed under his touch.
One step closer, Oga thought, pulse racing. He could hear his own heart beating. Suddenly his collar was too tight, although he had popped a few buttons already.
Kunieda hadn't noticed. Furuichi hadn't noticed. Nobody had.
On second thought, maybe he wasn't going to fuck Jesus up.
.
"Shh," Furuichi said, grabbing his arm. "I hear something."
"I do too. It's the sound of me not giving a rat's ass," Oga replied, arching an eyebrow at him, then at his arm.
He let go, eventually, and sighed. "Are you going to confess to her?"
Oga thought about it, more than once. "Can we stop talking about this? This sounds gay," he made a face, shaking his head.
"I still can't get over the fact that you still have enough human blood in your system to have feelings."
"I'm going to shove Baby Beel's milk bottle up into your eye socket if you keep this up, Furuichi."
thank you for the reviews asdfghjkl
*chapter 1 was edited; thank you for the reminder :)
furuichi needs a rattle up his ass
oga's still ooc
i still fail at both fluff and humor oops
where's kunieda?