We managed the end of the week... just! So here is Tuesday... hope you like it!
Another big thank you to my co-writer, Caketin (I still can't spell your username, Cake! So if anyone wants to know it it's at the start of chapter one), and another stupid quote for her: "CONSTANT VIGILANCE! Oh deer, it's MAROON!" -wink-
Thanks to HermioneGranger1971 and Katanagirl16 for taking the time to review -- we're glad you both liked it! And for the person who sent the anonymous review -- we've got some more funny, we think.
We still don't own anything apart from the spotty-dotty notebook of DOOM and the clicky pens (which I now have in THREE different colours!), and I still want Jamesie.
Read and Review pleeease!
Tuesday
Transfiguration
J- Hello Evans. How is your fine figure this morning?
L- Goodbye Potter. But it's nice to see that your wonderful complimenting ability has not been spoiled.
J- I wish to thank you for the wonderful kiss yesterday
L- Don't get any ideas.
S- He's already got a lot of them. Your first date, marriage, consummating your relationship…
L- Shut up Black, you slime ball. How do you know his innermost thoughts anyway?
S- The whole dormitory knows them now thanks to his sleep-talking. And don't call me slime ball. I refuse to be compared with Snivellus.
J- Padfoot, there's no need to tell her.
L- Don't panic. Whatever you dreamed, I don't want to know.
J- Mister Prongs would like to request Miss Evans (Mrs Prongs/Potter to be) accompany him on the Hogsmeade trip Saturday after next.
S- Mister Padfoot would like to add that Miss Evans (Mrs Prongs/Potter to be) must feel free to bring Miss Prewett along.
A- I'm not interested.
S- Pity that. Anyone would think that you didn't like me.
A- I wonder why.
S- Every other girl seems to like me. Judging by that fifth year who threw herself onto me, anyway…
A- Mulciber hit her with a blinding hex, she couldn't see.
S- Whatever. I think it's just my animal attraction… Crap, my toad. Back in a mo…
J- Evans, you haven't answered my question.
L- No.
J- Why not? Did you not enjoy that kiss in Potions?
L- No.
J- Why not?
L- Potter, you kiss like a whelk.
S- I know he does
L- How the fuck do you know?
R- Language, Lily.
S- Prongs has had a bad effect on her
J- How the hell have I managed to do that to her with one kiss?
A- How does Sirius know that James kisses like a whelk?
P- How do Lily and Sirius know what a whelk kisses like?
J- Yeah, good point! Evans how do you know what a whelk kisses like?
L- Obviously because I spend my evenings snogging whelks, Potter
S- You had to choose a strange one who hated you, didn't you, Prongs?
J- No, she doesn't hate me
L- I am not strange! I thought you would have recognised the sarcasm, Black
S- Who said I hadn't? Am I not allowed to joke now?
L- Whatever.
…
S- Prongs?
…
P- Prongs?
…
S- Prongs?
J- Shut up, I'm busy.
P- Busy doing what?
J- Taking notes, idiot
S- Did you here that?! Doth mine ears deceive me? Prongs would rather take notes on Minnie's lesson than converse with his amazingly charming and intelligent friends?
R- The world is ending! Sirius, you get the luggage and the cat-
S- I'm not taking the bloody cat.
R- Fine, we'll leave the cat. I'll grab brooms and Peter, you fetch the kids
P- Gotcha
S- Roger
P- Who's Roger? Do we have another kid you two haven't told me about?
R- No, he's just agreeing. Now, Wormy, you fetch little Flossie and Harry – we need to hurry!
J- It's not that amazing. And what does it matter if your ears are deceiving you, Pad? I mean, you're reading this, not listening to it.
S- Fine then. Doth mine eyne deceive me?
J- What the hell are your eyne? And if you're using them to read this then obviously they're not. Unless you're reading something totally different to what I've written.
S- You don't think eyne is better than eyes?
J- Eyes is a word usually more comprehendible to the speaker of modern English.
S- Thanks for the advice, mate, but I think I'll stick with eyne.
R- As long as you don't go standing on tables in the common room shouting 'Ladies feast thyne eyne upon mine amazingness!' Then we might be able to put up with it
S- Thanks for the idea, Moony
R- Oh Merlin. James, think you'll be able to talk him out of it?
J- I'll try. But I'm making no promises. This could be a good one.
Herbology
J- Evans, will you
L- Will I what, Potter?
J- Sorry, Venomous Tentacula got it
L- So?
J- So what?
L- Will I what, idiot?
J- Oh, right. Will you go out with me?
L- No.
S- Yes
J- Saturday after next then?
L- I said no!
J- Who said I was talking to you?
L- You're planning a date with Sirius?
J- Why shouldn't I?
A- James, you don't ask a girl out and then plan a date with another guy right in front of her.
S- Why not?
A- It's cruel, Sirius. And James, you shouldn't get Sirius' hopes up like that.
J- Ignore him. He'd snog anyone – girls… boys… molluscs…
P- You went out with Snivellus, Sirius?
J- He's not a mollusc. He's a grease monkey
L- SHUT UP, POTTER!
S- You're still sticking up for Snivellus, Evans?
L- I'll stand up for whoever I want to, thank you very much.
J- Still… Snivellus?
L- Shut up, Potter. You never gave him a chance.
J- Don't you remember what he said to you?
…
J- Evans?
L- Potter.
J- Are you mad at me?
L- No I'm not, -J-a- Potter.
J- Good. What did you cross out?
L- It doesn't matter.
J- It does.
L- How can it matter to you if you don't know what it was?
J- That's why it matters. I want to know.
L- Maybe you'll find out one day, James.
Defence Against the Dark Arts
J- Evans?
…
J- Evans?
...
J- Evans?
L- Potter.
J- Did you really call me James last lesson?
L- What do you think?
J- Well. I would say it might have been someone else who had written it, but it's so nice to see my name written in your beautiful handwriting.
L- Are you being sarcastic?
J- No. Are you avoiding saying my name?
L- What makes you think that?
J- Usually you would have put Potter on the end of at least one of those sentences.
L- Well, I am trying to concentrate on the lesson.
J- Sorry.
...
J- Evans?
L- Yes, -J-a-m- Potter?
J- You wrote my name! At last, Lily Evans shows her affection!
L- I only wrote your name. That's nothing to be proud of.
J- That's the most adoring thing that's ever come from your beautiful hand. How can I help but be happy?
L- Sarcasm, Potter?
S- He means it, Evans. The saddo…
J- What did you call me, Padfoot?
S- A saddo if you must know.
R- Comparing Prongs to Snivellus now?
L- Ha ha.
R- Now that was sarcasm. I thought you raised the bar higher than that, Lily?
S- Let me tell you, Alice can raise my bar anytime
A- Shut up Black.
S- Not impressed by my superior wit and ability to create double entendres?
A- No.
S- Shame. My creative talents are wasted on you.
...
J- Lily?
L- Calling me Lily isn't going to impress me.
J- I thought that I should give you this…
L- Give me what, Potter?
…
R- They're at it again, I see.
A- Hah. I thought James was more of a gentleman than to do that
S- Prongs? A gentleman? Are you sure we're talking about the same person?
A- Tall, unbelievably messy black hair, glasses, plays quidditch, head boy?
S- Well it sounds like the guy I call my best mate
A- Hm. What d'ya think? Longer than last time?
S- Nah, she pushed him away pretty quick
…
S- Aw, did she hit poor Prongsie?
J- Shut up
R- Watch it … teacher
…
L- You are going to pay for this, Potter
J- Why? It's only a detention
L- Yes, it's a DETENTION with YOU
J- That makes it even better, no?
L- Oh yes, I am so looking forward to spending my evening stuck in a classroom with you.
J- Me too, me too
L- That was sarcasm, Potter
Care of Magical Creatures
P- Moony?
R- You're writing on my drawing, Peter. Haven't you got any of your own parchment?
P- I used it all. I can't draw the bloody things.
S- It's not that hard, Wormy. You just draw a little stick guy
J- What if it's a girl one?
S- Can you tell?
R- Check if you're that bothered
S- I am bloody well not checking if it's a guy or a girl!
R- James can, he pointed it out
J- No I can't
S- Why not?
P- What does it matter? Stick guys look the same as stick girls
S- Apart from stick guys have-
R- You draw that on?
S- I could do… but I was just pointing it out
...
A- Did you think passing me this would entertain me, Sirius?
S- Yeah, that was the idea
A- Well it's not that funny, really. It just proves how immature you all are
R- I would like to beg to differ on that one
A- You can be immature sometimes, Remus. Remember the feather incident?
R- When I made all those pink feathers stick in James' hair? Maybe... But you've got to admit it was funny
A- It might have been funny but it's still immature. You guys should have grown out of that kind of thing years ago
S- Nah, life'd get boring
J- And we can't stop now we've got the reputation
L- You and your stupid reputations
J- Talking to me again, Evans? I knew you couldn't stay mad at me for long
L- You wish, Potter.
J- You're talking to me, aren't you?
…
J- That was your drawing, Evans, not a note. Though I must say it's very good
L- You planning on giving it back any time soon, Potter? And you're compliments are getting you nowhere
J- Oh, sorry. Here it is
L- Idiot.
J- I'm hurt, Evans
L- Good.
S- Please don't, Evans. He'll be moping for weeks now
J- No I won't!
L- Honestly, Black, I'd say you deserve it. Although I don't think Remus does.
R- Thank you, Lily. But I will have to put up with it anyway.
J- Stop talking about me as if I'm not there!
L- You can't always be the centre of attention, Potter
R- The lady speaks sense
J- Thanks a lot, Moony
R- You are most welcome, James
…
P- I'm hungry
S- I tend to have that affect on people
R- He didn't mean it like that, idiot.
J- You're always hungry, Wormy
P- We're going to the kitchens after this, right?
S- Right
J- Fancy joining us Evans?
L- I do not want to join your rule-breaking escapade, no.
J- Aw, go on - you know you want to, really.
L- No, I don't.
…
L- Alice?
A- Lily?
L- They've made me feel hungry…
A- Heh. Any particular one of them, Lil?
L- You know I didn't mean it like that
A- I do, do I?
L- Yes
A- Admit it, Lil; you enjoyed your taste of Jamesie before
L- No, I didn't
A- Oooh, yeah, sure.
L- You're supposed to be my friend, Alice
A- I am. I have your best interests at heart
L- Merlin, not you as well
A- One of the few times I actually agree with James and Sirius
L- I'm still hungry
A- Mentioning of a name…?
L- No. Do you think you'd be able to get me something from the kitchens after this lesson?
A- Why don't you just-
L- I am not going with them. No way. And I'm not asking them to get me anything, either.
A- Worth a try
TO BE CONTINUED...
Review please! It's half term now, so we won't see each other for a week. Unfortunatly that means the next chapter will take longer to get done, but it also means we have longer to think of more strange/stupid/sick jokes for you ;D
--Animal & Caketin