EDIT: 11/11/2014- fixed spelling errors and made some slight changes

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chapter two

Those Freaky Coins!

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"Mathias, I hate to do this, but I am seriously questioning the coin's existence!" Matthew shrieked in a register that only dogs should be able to hear, "How is there a coin in the bottom of my shoe?!" he demanded hysterically, "It wasn't there a moment ago, and then suddenly, bam, there's a very painful coin jamming into the heel of my foot!" he finished with a sob of frustration, sitting cross legged on the road with both of his shoes off, dramatically shaking them to make sure that there were no more hidden and mysterious coins in them.

With a slight frown, Mathias hummed in agreement. "You know, I have to agree with you on that." he said while flipping one of the coins in the air, catching it in his palm before continuing, "I found this one in a bin of apples, of all places. Really, this is getting weird."
He paused, closing his hand in a fist around the coin, before he turned to look at Matthew. "...not as weird as your love for that dress, though. Seriously kid, how did you find it in the middle of a battle?"

Matthew grinned at him, slightly manically, just enough to make Mathias lean back in shock. "It was in the bottom of a barrel! Isn't that cool?"

"Are you kidding me?" Mathias demanded, throwing his hands up in the air, the coin falling to the ground with an obnoxious clack, "You found it in a barrel-"

"-the bottom of one!-" Matthew ever so helpfully corrected,

"-while I can't even find ammo for my weapons in the enemies' guns? What the hell is with that?"

Matthew shrugged. "Maybe the dress just really likes me."

Mathias paused. "Maybe we should get you back into some dead people's clothes."

With a dramatically shocked look, Matthew gasped in horror. "You would do that to me?"

"Duh." the Danish man responded, unaware of the tears welling in the younger man's eyes.

"I hate you so much!" Matthew wailed with, much to Mathias' horror, tears pouring down his face. "You're not my real dad!"

"Fuck, are you actually crying?" he demanded, swearing as the tears increased and Matthew let out a sob. "No, um, it's-it's okay, don't cry?" he tried, reaching down to pull Matthew into a one-armed hug, seeing as Matthew was refusing to actually hug him until he washed the blood out of his clothes.

"You're awful!" Matthew continued, sobbing louder, "I mean, this dress is the best thing to ever happen to me, although it's making me way more emotional for some reason, and it's comfy and obviously loves me, but you're willing to take that away from me and shove me into dead people clothes covered in dead people poo and pee!"

Mathias groaned. "No, I was just kidding, alright? You can keep the dress, just stop crying, for Odin's sake!"

Matthew paused, bottom lip quivering ridiculously, and his eyes wide. "You mean it?"

"Yes, now shut up before someone hears you and tries to kill us!" The older blonde demanded, to which Matthew hastily nodded. "Great, now let's go and try to find a way home, and hopefully some alcohol along the way-"

"Hey, you! You're the guy killing everyone!" Someone on a balcony dramatically screeched, pointing a daunting finger at them, and both nations flinched back in shock.

"Oh my God, how am I just now noticing that balcony?" Matthew muttered, before his eyes widened. "Oh, Mathias, there's a coin by that screeching woman's foot, and it's glowing!"

"We are leaving now." Mathias said quickly, grabbing Matthew's hand and running for the sky-lines.

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"What do you mean," Alfred began in a very soft tone while clenching his jaw, "that you don't know how to bring them back?"

Norway winced. "I mean that I'm not sure if there's a return spell, and that if there is one then it's probably in a very hard to find book."

There was a tense pause, during which Norway would have loved to attempt another drunken escape, but sadly for him Sweden was keeping him in place with a very heavy hand on Norway's shoulder.

America let out a slow breath, before bringing a hand to scrub at his hair. "Okay, this is... this is completely okay. We're going to make a plan, no, a /set/ of plans! First one is to get Mattie and Denmark back. Second one is to make sure that they never get magic used on them ever again. Third one is to make sure that Lukas pays very, very heavily for all of this." Alfred finished with a very dark look in his eyes.

Norway let out a noise of poorly disguised terror, wondering in his almost-sober state (because as it turns out, Alfred's rage being directed at him was very sobering) if he should change his human name, so that a completely different Lukas would have to deal with the American's anger.

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As soon as Matthew and Mathias had jumped off the sky-lines, Matthew darted over to a barrel of fireworks and began violently throwing up into it, as Mathias patted his back sympathetically while suppressing his own urge to throw up.

"Matthew," the Danish man began, not pausing in his back-patting, "I really don't think that you should go on the sky-lines with an empty stomach again." he suggested, before grimacing and suppressing another gag as Matthew let out a particularly bad retch. "Or, at all, really."

"I hate my liiiiiife-" the Canadian whined, before his stomach acted against him yet again and his head was forced back into the barrel. Once he had finished, he looked up at Mathias with a furious pout. "I hate this stupid barrel, and this stupid place, and the stupid, stupid sky-lines!" he declared with a dark frown, before something wet touched the side of his neck, and he realized in slightly belated horror that some puke got onto both his hair and his dress.

"Oh shit, Matthew, it'll be okay, don't start crying again-!" Mathias pleaded, much too late, as Matthew burst into very loud sobs, and soon the older was only able to hold the Canadian and try to calm him down with the soft reassurance of "We'll get your dress all nice and clean, and get the puke out of your hair, as soon as we can, so please stop crying?"

As his sobs turned into hiccups, Matthew looked up at Mathias with a rather pathetic expression. "Am I going to have to wear dead people clothes again?"

Mathias let out a slight sigh before answering, "Yes, you are, but this time I'll let you get the clothes before we kill whomever is wearing them!"

"So no dead people poo and pee?"

"Exactly."

Matthew's eyes lit up at the prospect, and within the next half an hour they were both standing in front of a soon-to-be-naked soldier, who was shaking in obvious fear at the sight of the two nations.

Mathias kept his shotgun steadily aimed at the man's head, at terrifying grin on his face as he demanded none too kindly to "Take off your clothes!"

"Not your underwear though," Matthew quickly added with a revolted shudder, making a face of disgust as he kept his pistol aimed at the soldier's head, "I don't want to see what you look like down there."

"You just don't want to stop wearing those lacy panties." Mathias teased, fixing Matthew with a devious grin.

Matthew, in turn, let out an indignant squawk of, "No, that's not it at all!"

Mathias gave a disbelieving scoff, "Sure it's not." he said dryly, before he looked to the wide eyed soldier. "You were listening to our conversation, weren't you?" he demanded, groaning as the soldier reluctantly nodded. "Goddammit, we were going to let you live, but now that you heard all of that we're going to have to kill you."

"After you take off your clothes, of course!" Matthew added brightly. "I'm not wearing dead people clothes again!"

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Soon enough, Matthew was dressed in a nice and mostly clean soldiers uniform.

As he fiddled with the cuffs and adjusted the sleeves, he tried not to pay attention to how Mathias was shoving the soldier's dead body off of the floating ship and into the air, where it will probably hit lots of birds and spiders and other gross things before splattering upon an innocent and unsuspecting person, and instead he tried to focus on the fact that he was in clean clothes, which didn't reek and weren't covered in blood!

"Matthew, if you're done sulking, help me find some ammo." Mathias commanded, wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand, letting out a disgusted sigh as he did so and muttered "That was so gross, holy shit."

For his part, Matthew beamed. "Don't worry about that, Mathias! I've already found ammo, along with lots of shiny coins!"

Mathias paused, before looking at the younger with a surprised look. "...That actually explains a lot, like why your pockets are bulging out like that."

Indeed, Matthew's pockets were overflowing with a mixture of ammo for various weapons, and a rather ungodly amount of coins.

"It sure does," Matthew cheerfully agreed, "and it just makes me want to see what's hidden in a box of chocolate even more!"

With an amused laugh, Mathias reached over to muss Matthew's hair, much to the Canadian's well placed disgust, "Let's get going and find some chocolate boxes for you to root through then, before someone else tries to kill us-"

As if on cue, a new soldier appeared from seemingly nowhere, pointing a very dramatic and accusing finger at the duo and screeching, "You two killed my friend!"

"You killed my friend, too!" Another soldier piped up, shaking a menacing fist at the two nations.

Matthew lent towards Mathias with a frown and quietly asked "How are they just appearing out of nowhere like that?"

"I have no idea." Mathias responded with his own frown of confusion, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

Very suddenly, a third soldier appeared, literally dropping out of the sky and landing in front of the two, shrilling exclaiming "You killed our friends!" as he swung a machine gun in front of him, a huge machine gun with a very large clip of ammo attached to it.

"Oh shiitake mushrooms." Matthew quietly swore, his eyes wide as he flinched away from the terror inflicting sight.

Mathias, instead, simply groaned.

Several minutes later found them both in the middle of a very heated battle, or more like Mathias in the middle of a very heated battle, because Matthew wasn't even holding a gun and was instead sulking in a corner.

"Matthew, what the hell are you doing? Get over here and help me kill people!" Mathias shouted, putting another shotgun round through a soldier's head, effectively blowing it to all hell.

Matthew, from his spot by the pillar, frowned. "Yeah, you know, Mathias, I'm just not really into the whole killing thing, and I don't like all the blood getting in my hair, and well-"

"Do you miss the dress so much that you're willing to risk my life for it?!" Denmark shrieked in outrage, already knowing exactly what Matthew was doing.

"It's made with such a comfortable fabric and offers me maximum movement, of course I miss it that much! Besides, what do you offer me other than sarcasm and dead people blood? Not much, that's for sure!"

"Goddamnit, you little shit-"

"I'm sorry, Mathias, it's not me saying these things!" Matthew interrupted in a wail, somehow not getting his face shot off by all of the bullets wizzing past his trusty pillar, "I think I'm going through withdraw!"

"Withdraw from a dress, are you fucking kidding me?!"

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A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long to finish this chapter! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter out within the month (which seems like a long time but, seriously, I have fics that haven't been updated in years that I still plan to finish so it's actually a vast improvement).
Thanks for the support for this! I'm going to be posting some more Matthew!centric AUs soon (Fallout: New Vegas in specific) which will be more serious than this one, which I'm using to try and get a good grasp on the characters!
Anyway, sorry for the long A/N; thanks for reading this, and please leave some feedback about the story, the characterization, and what you'd like to see happen next! xo