Chapter 2: The Hogwarts Express
After a long flight from Sheldonopolis, the invisible flying car slowly reappears as it floats into a small parking space near King's Cross train station. Sheldor of Azeroth has never been to London before, but sadly he knows there is no time for sightseeing on this trip. He opens the car window to take in some fresh air. The sky above London is gray and the summer air is moist and breezy, but not very cold. Hagrid parks the car then hands Sheldor a train ticket.
"NOW DON'T LOSE THAT! THE TICKET TAKER WILL KICK YOU OFF THE TRAIN IF YOU DO!"
"Alright, thanks for the ride."
Sheldor carefully puts the ticket away inside his costume. Then he gets out of the car feeling nauseated from being up in the air for so long. He manages not to vomit all over and instead Sheldor pulls his large trunk out of the backseat as Lovey Dovey hovers nearby ready to go with him on the train. His Hawkstrider, Glenn is far too big of a bird to fit on the train so he flies ahead to Hogwarts on his own. Hagrid bites into a candy bar found on the floor of the car loudly and says goodbye to Sheldor.
"HAVE A GOOD TRIP!"
"Wait, you're not coming?"
"I'VE GOT A FEW ERRANDS TO RUN FIRST, BUT I'LL SEE YOU LATER AT SCHOOL! I NEED TO GO TO GRINGOTTS BANK THEN PICK UP A BRISKET FOR DINNER! YOU TELL RONNIE NOT TO SPOIL HIS APPETITE ON THE TRAIN EATING ALL THOSE CHOCOLATE FROGS!"
"Yes ma'am….uh sir."
"YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US FOR DINNER TONIGHT, SHELDOR! BE AT MY HUT AT SEVEN."
Hagrid smiles with chocolate covered teeth and waves as Sheldor of Azeroth walks into the London train station. Sheldor grabs a large metal rolling cart in the station to put his trunk in so he doesn't have to drag it the whole way. He follows Lovey Dovey to the platforms and with each step he gets more excited that he is going to get to ride on his favorite legendary train, the Hogwarts Express.
A large brown frog hops behind him desperately trying to catch up to let him know he is being followed by something much more evil. He doesn't notice the frog and just keeps on walking towards the platforms while Lovey Dovey hums the Hogwarts school song. Before the frog can reach Sheldor a long, vicious and cruel looking cobra snake named Lilith gobbles him up.
Lilith hisses and grins as she devours her dinner whole. Then she returns to watching Sheldor of Azeroth from a safe distance. This devious snake spy has been sent by the Dark Lord to keep an eye on him and report back on what Sheldor of Azeroth is up to. He almost passes by the wall between platform nine and platform ten, but then Sheldor hears the voice of his good friend Howard.
Sheldor turns around and notices his friend is wearing a long dark green and black cloak over a Gryffindor school uniform costume. The cloak is emblazoned with a man in a space suit next to a rocket blasting off. Ron Howard is surrounded by a small group of little Muggles and a few famous Hogwarts students who are huddle around him watching his latest magic card trick.
"And….is this your card?"
"Yes, that's it! Very Good!"
Cedric Diggory who picked the card nods elated by Ron Howard's little magic show. Cedric is wearing a dark brown cloak with cap sleeves and the symbol of Brown Dynamite on it. All the little Muggles clap in excitement and say "Pick me next! Pick me next!"
"Oh no, not this again!" Sheldor replies as he rolls his eyes at all the happy children and his friends. It still irks him that he has never been able to figure out how this card trick is done. Ron Howard frowns as he looks over at him.
"Don't be such a spoiled sport. Come on pick a card, dude. This is a brand new deck I got in Diagon Alley."
Sheldor sighs and shakes his head at Ron Howard as he replies in his usual haughty tone.
"No, I don't have time for your little magic tricks. I've got far more important things to do."
"What? You afraid I'll best you again like Mrs. Riley's chicken?"
"No! I have to find Amy. She's in trouble."
"You're still dating the princess? I thought she would have dumped you by now."
"Are you going to help me or do I have to call your mother back here?"
"Okay! Okay! Relax, okay kids shows over."
The kids all pout in sadness as the leave. Ron Howard puts away his magical deck of cards then looks around for his wife.
"Hermonie should be along shortly; she's just purchasing our train tickets. Now what's the problem with Princess Amy?"
"She's been kidnapped by a man so evil and foul I dare not speak his name for it churns my stomach!"
Sheldor frowns as he shows Ron Howard the crumbled up letter from He Who Can Not Be Crushed. Ronnie reads the letter and his facial expression turns serious then he shows the letter to Cedric and Neville Longbottom.
"Oh that's horrible! What are you going to do?"
"As soon as I get to Hogwarts I'll show this to Dumbledore. He'll know what to do. I must get her back!"
They all nod in agreement with his plan just as Bernadette Hermione walks up behind them carrying new train tickets and pushing another large cart full with luggage. She smiles sweetly as she greets them.
"Have either of you seen a frog? A boy name Dale is looking for his."
"No."
"No!"
"No."
"Ghobe!"
Bernadette Hermione frowns at Sheldor for using that word to say no.
"Hey, Sheldor what did I tell you! No Klingon!"
Sheldor pouts his lip at her for fussing at him. Ronnie tells his wife all about the ransom letter for Princess Amy and she frowns with worry for her missing maid of honor. Once Bernadette Hermione knows what's going on she feels sorry for being so tough on Sheldor.
"I'm sorry sweetie; this whole thing must be driving you crazy. Its okay you can use all the Star Trek gibber gabber you want."
"Thanks, Bernadette."
"Well come on boys, the train should be arriving soon. We should hurry so Sheldor can see Dumbledore."
Ron Howard takes hold of their cart and lets Bernadette Hermione go through the wall first. They all take turns running at the wall between platforms nine and ten until they reemerge on the other side at platform nine and three quarters. Sheldor's eyes light up when he hears the train whistle blow loudly as it pulls into the station. He knows everything there is to know about the Hogwarts Express and immediately begins telling his friends a bunch of boring long winded facts about the train while they board.
"The Hogwarts Express is a 4-6-0 Hall Class steam locomotive model number GWR 5900. It is quite impressive. It was built in 1936 and commissioned by Ottaline Gambol, the Minster of Magic. The Minister very wisely saw the potential of using a train as a secure and comfortable alternative to portkeys or other unregulated means of travel. The Ministry of Magic then commissioned the train and used one hundred and sixty-seven memory charms in order to conceal the train from muggles. Isn't that wonderful?"
Sheldor's friends all try to ignore his train talk as they slowly looking around for seats. He fusses at them when they try to sit in the wrong section of the train. Ron Howard is tired of lugging his big trunk around and he is very tired of listening to Sheldor lecture them. He turns to Cedric and Neville and whispers about his growing desire to kill.
"I knew I should have packed my crossbow. If this keeps up I may need to send Errol Junior home to get it. "
"Just shut up Sheldor and tell us where you want to sit!" Neville replies as he rolls his eyes at the elf.
Sheldor leads them through the train to search for the best spot. They pass by a group of snickering Slytherins including Dennis Draco who is making out with a hot young fifteen year old witch in a private compartment only reserved for him and his friends. Sheldor ignores Dennis Draco as he continues on until they reach a vacant compartment in the third train car.
He slides the door open and immediately takes the window seat for himself. Neville plops down beside Sheldor after putting away their trunks. Bernadette Hermione, Ron Howard and Cedric help Neville get the luggage put away. Then they sit across from Neville and Sheldor as the train takes off. Longbottom stares at the side of Sheldor's face as Sheldor looks out the window. Neville can tell his friend is still worried about the princess.
"So have you come up with a plan to get her back?"
"Well, I know she's been poisoned with the Draught, so I'll need a potion to cure her."
Bernadette Hermonie opens up her small purse and reaches deep inside it. She pulls out a large Potions book that she once found in the Restricted Section of the Hogwarts library.
"Hold on, I think I may know of one."
Sheldor sits up curiously as she opens up the book and searches through the pages for the right potion.
"Ah, here it is, the Elixir of Immortality should do it. The Elixir has the power to awaken any one who has been cursed with the Draught of Living Death. It looks here to be a fairly complicated potion to make, but I'm sure I can do it. I just need all the right ingredients."
"What do you need?"
"Let's see the potion requires hair of a cat, tears of a phoenix, blood of a monkey. Oh wait! Oh dear… we're going to need the Sorcerer's stone for this one too."
Bernadette Hermione looks up from her Potions book not sure what to do now. Sheldor frowns when he hears this because he knows the Stone has been destroyed already.
"But...how are we going to do that? Dumbledore and Nicolas Flamel had it destroyed.
Bernadette Hermione sighs sadly as she looks around at Ron Howard, Neville and Cedric. Without the stone there maybe no other way to save the princess, but before anyone can think of an alternative solution the train suddenly comes to a screeching halt. Sheldor shrieks in fear when the train stops.
"Oh what fresh hell is this?"
Ron Howard frowns nervously as he looks out the window and sees dark black clouds appear in the sky. Cedric leans over and whispers into his ear so Bernadette Hermione won't be able to hear him speak.
"Yeah, you're right." Ron Howard replies back to Cedric. "Looks like those damn Dementors are back."
"I hate all this extra security, its getting to where you can't travel anymore without it being a hassle. I don't want another colonoscopy." Cedric whispers as all the train lights shut off plunging the Hogwarts Express into darkness.