First off, if you're reading this having been redirected from tumblr, thank you so much for your support and kind words, means so much :)
In this chapter, you don't actually get to see much of Dan (I know, I'm sorry :( he was washing his hair or something) but you get to meet all the girls (and what is more important than your girls?) and also a bit of background information on Miss Pepper Malone, she has had an interesting past, that's for sure.
Enjoy!
It was dark. I felt myself being thrown across the room and my head hit a hard, cold wall. I put my hand up underneath my hair to the spot where my head had met the concrete, and felt something warm and sticky and wet between my fingertips. I looked up through concussed eyes and saw a calloused fist coming towards me-
"FUCK" I screamed, sitting bolt upright in my bed. I was fine. It was just a dream. I told myself, like I did most nights. I fell back onto my pillow, my head thumping with the start of a hangover, and I collected my thoughts from the night before. I couldn't help my heart soar for a millisecond and then drop instantly. I had met Dan Howell. He had come back home with me. And now he wasn't here...
I still had my clothes on, and I didn't feel like we had done anything... which was good because if we had and he had done a runner, I would have had to hunt him down, put his balls on a grill pan and serve them on toast to my housemates. I searched around the room for any sign of his whereabouts, but could find nothing. I checked my phone. Nothing. No number had been put into it, and I know I hadn't given him mine.
Maybe he was downstairs. It was about half ten in the morning, so I expected at least a couple of my housemates to be downstairs either ready for work or lectures. I changed out of my skirt and tank top and wrapped my dressing gown around me, tying it at my waist and pushing my hands deep into the fluffy pockets.
I couldn't hear much as I descended the stairs; just a few broken words from the television, some cutlery clattering and a female voice. No sign of Dan though. I turned into the living room to see Caroline lying flat out on the sofa in her Tescos uniform, and Becca pottering about in the kitchen, washing dishes and humming along to something cheesy on the radio.
"Morning!" Becca trilled upon spotting me, and she flicked the switch on the kettle. She was always far too cheery to be hungover, but that was just Becca for you- my little ray of sunshine. "Where did you disappear to last night? I didn't know if you were in or not." She planted a sweet kiss on the top of my head.
I moved over to the sofa and scratched the top of Caroline's head. "Hey love," she said, peering up at me. "My heads killing me."
I noticed that there were two mismatched mugs sat on the table in the middle of the room, each with presumably stone cold coffee in. "No where," I replied to Becca glumly. "Came back here. Did that guy I was with last night come down here this morning?" I asked the girls.
"Not that I know of" Becca shrugged, handing me a coffee and a slice of toast. "Have that, I'll make myself another one."
"Oh." I replied, trying to act nonchalant and blasé when I was actually so hurt I felt a fire brewing in my gut.
"You're not telling me some assholes done a runner on you?" Caroline asked, sitting upright and turning to face me. "What a bastard!" Her and Becca looked at each other, and then back at me. "Did you do anything with him?" She raised an eyebrow.
"No not really" I said, looking at my feet. I didn't know what to call that kiss he had given me. It wasn't anything, but it wasn't nothing either. I was finding it hard to hide my disappointment from the girls.
"What do you mean not really, Pepper." Becca sat down in an armchair, looking at me with a concerned expression.
Before I continue, I think a bit of a background check on Becca is needed. Becca and I were best friends when we were in Primary school, and were right up until the end of secondary school. At that point, we both went our separate ways: I went to college for a year, and she went off on her gap year. We hated to admit it, but we lost contact, which is what happens to a lot of friends at this point in their lives. It wasn't until I posted on Facebook that I had been accepted into Goldsmiths that she messaged me to say that she had been accepted into UCL, and it was like we had never been apart.
Becca was my rock, and I would not have been able to get through any of the things in my life so far without her.
"We kissed." I said, and it was the honest truth. We had a few more minutes of insanely passionate kissing, and I took him to my bedroom, where we continued said activities. I was just about to pull his t-shirt over his head when he stopped me short. He didn't want to have sex. I didn't know what to think; my first thought was that I had pushed him into it, but it was actually sort of nice. We just chatted for hours, like we had known each other for years. He told me about his childhood, ex girlfriends, parents, law school, all the while rubbing the palm of my hand with our fingers intertwined until I must have fallen asleep in his arms.
He hadn't exactly shagged me and done a runner. So why did this hurt so badly?
"Fuck them all." Caroline said shortly. "They're all wankers anyway. What prick in their right mind would leave a fucking beauty like you?" Oh god, I had set off the swears.
"It's fine. I think I might just go back to bed." I said, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hand. Mascara and eyeliner transfered onto it. "Or maybe I need a shower."
"Yes, go and have a hot shower, and then we're going out. I'm dropping Caroline off at work so we can both do a bit of shopping." Becca soothed, rubbing my arm as she got up to butter her toast that had just popped out of the toaster. "How does that sound?"
Becca to the rescue, as always. "Thank you mum." I joked, and took a bite out of my toast.
I walked back into my room after I had showered, a towel wrapped round me and my slippers on my feet. I threw open my curtains, letting the late morning sun pour through the window, which I pushed open to let some fresh air in. Today was going to be a feel-good day, I had decided. I pulled on my favourite jeans, and buttoned a sheer white blouse up to my neck, tucking it into my waistband. I brushed the damp tangles out of my hair, and flicked it over my shoulder, allowing it to dry naturally into my trademark waves.
I wasn't going to let anyone upset me today. Not even gorgeous, sensitive, adorable youtubers called Dan Howell. Definitely not.
I couldn't help feel a little upset everytime it flashed into my mind, however. I had fallen ass over tit for that boy, I had to admit. We had spent so long just talking... sharing things with each other. I had a really good feeling about it. I suppose that was just me though. Get your hopes up, then have them dropped from a great height.
I picked up my phone, and went on twitter. The first post I saw when I refreshed the page made my heart drop like a stone.
Dan Howell danisnotonfire Great night, now to catch up on some zzzzzzzzzzs. 30m ago
Oh YOU'VE had a great night have you mister Howell? Well that's good then. I hope the next girl you ditch gives you herpes and your balls drop off before you get a chance to leave.
I threw my phone onto my bed, where it continued to bounce off, and fall behind my headboard.
"Fine, stay there" I said to it, before shaking myself. I was not about to start talking to things that couldn't talk back, I'd get carted off to a mental institute if I wasn't careful.
I quickly ran a mascara wand over my lashes and dabbed some concealer underneath my eyes, then grabbed my purse and slipped my feet into some sandals before heading downstairs. Becca and Caroline were waiting for me, their eyes nearly stuck to the television screen.
"Jeremy Kyle?" I asked.
"Yep. There's a girl on here who is pregnant, and the father could either be her boyfriend... or his dad." Becca said, without taking her eyes off the screen.
"Thrilling. Are we going?" I said, perching on the arm of the sofa.
"Yeah," Caroline said quickly, switching off the TV and getting to her feet. "I'm going to be late and then I'll be on my last warning." She said casually.
Out of all the girls, Caroline was the most laid back. She was a no make up, no worries kind of girl, and was never phased by a thing. Sometimes, I really needed Caroline to bring me back down to earth. So out of all of the people in the world, I wouldn't have chosen to be with anyone else other than Becca and Caroline when I had just been jilted.
"I had another nightmare last night." I said flatly, pushing my pasta around my plate. Becca and I had stopped for a late lunch at Prezzos, but I was finding it hard to stomach anything. Becca paused, her fork half way up to her mouth. A pasta bow fell back onto her plate. She raised her eyebrows.
"Really?" She asked cautiously. "Are you okay? I thought they were dying down."
I shook my head. "It always seems to happen when I'm drunk or restless. It woke me up though."
"And it was the s-"
"The same one. Yeah." I snapped. I looked up at Becca, who didn't even get offended by the way I spoke to her. "I'm sorry," I apologised. "I'm just really tired."
"I completely understand," she replied, and gave me a beaming smile. "You know any of us will drop anything in a heart beat for you. I know you don't like talking about what happened but... we're here for you." She skated quickly around the subject, and suddenly changed it. "What do you want to do Monday night?"
"Let's have a girls night in. All five of us." I suggested, poking some pasta into my mouth. I actually was pretty hungry. Nothing like best friends to put you back on top form. "We can buy some popcorn, and watch some films."
"Good idea. I could do with one of those. No XY chromosomes allowed."
We had all settled down in the living room a few days later, ready for our girl's night in: Becca and I on the sofa, Caroline in the armchair and Sophia and Jade on the floor, lounging over the duvets that we had brought downstairs. If anyone came in at that moment, it would have just looked like a pile of colourful duvets with five little heads poking out at various angles.
"Ooh, I forgot the wine." Jade piped up from the floor, and moved to the fridge, producing two bottles of chilled rosé. She poured it into plastic tumblers and shared them around. "Should I put the popcorn in now?"
"Go on then, I'm hungover-starving." Sophia said, rearranging pillows underneath her.
"Is that the type of starving you get when you're hungover and you don't stop being hungry?" Caroline asked, poking at Sophia with her toe to make her stop fidgeting.
"Yep. I've been hangover-starving all day, so I'm ready for some buttery popcorny goodness." Sophia laughed, finally settled.
Jade produced three large bags of kernels ready to be popped, and set about putting them in the microwave and transferring them to bowls while we started the film. Miss Congeniality, an absolute classic for a girl's night in.
It was just getting to the point when Sandra Bullock is walking out of the warehouse, newly transformed into Gracie Lou Freebush (all of us singing along to Mustang Sally albeit loudly and tunelessly) when there was a knock on the front door. We all looked at each other. Jade to Sophie, Sophie to Caroline, Caroline to Becca, Becca to me. Ugh.
"Fineeee, I'll get it." I said, pulling myself off the sofa. I adjusted my pyjamas and headed for the front door.
I don't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't the tall, dark haired, tanned boy that had been playing over and over like a broken record in my mind for the past few nights.
"Dan?!" I spluttered, not quite believing it. I quickly gained composure and wiped a stony expression onto my face. "What are you doing here?"
"Sorry for interrupting anything..." He started, and I suddenly felt self conscious about being in my pyjamas. "but I thought I would come see how you are... as I haven't heard from you in a few days and I had a really good night at the weekend..." he gushed, looking at his feet. I was really confused.
"But you left?" I snapped back, arms crossed, leant against the doorway. "I don't even know why I'm having this conversation with you, I hardly know you-" I turned to leave, but he moved his arm out, quick as a bullet, to stop the door closing.
"I thought you'd understand." He said, confused. "I don't know what it is about you, but I'm not letting you slip through my fingers."
My heart swelled at his words, and I found myself momentarily dumbstruck. I shook myself. No, you're pissed off at him acting like every other guy, aren't you. "You didn't just have to up and leave!" I explained.
"Pepper, I left a note." He retorted, confused.
"I didn't see a- did you?" I asked, genuinely confused now. What was this guy playing at?
"I left a note on your pillow explaining why I had to leave. You didn't find it?" He said, looking nearly as confused as me. "I suppose that was why you didn't contact me..."
"I think I would have found a note from you, Dan. Are you sure you didn't just flake out and decide to leave me?" I exclaimed, and I could feel myself turning nasty. I tried to reign myself in; this had happened to me far too many times.
"I left it on your pillow, of course I wasn't just flaking out on you." He said, looking a bit hurt. "I wouldn't do that, I think you're great."
"Really?" I could feel a hot blush rising in my cheeks. "Thanks, I guess. Do you want to come in? We could try and find this mysterious note."
Dan gave me a smile and followed me over the threshold, shutting the door behind him. We walked past the living room, and I looked in to see four girls sat under duvets with their heads up like meerkats.
"He left a note." I explained to them, then pointed upstairs.
"Ohhh." Sighed Jade and Becca in unison. Caroline gave me a wink as we headed up stairs.
I shut the door behind us when we got into my room, and I looked around for any sign of a note.
"It may have fallen under the bed?" Dan suggested, shrugging his shoulders.
I bent down and rubbed my hand around underneath the bed, but all I could find was some dust and some hair bands. No note.
"What about round the back?" I didn't doubt that a note couldn't have fallen down the back of the bed while I had been having my bad dream. "I had left it on the pillow." He said.
I lay flat on my stomach on the bed, and reached my arm down the back. The first thing my fingertips hit was my phone - so that's where the bloody thing had got to. I pulled it out and dove back down, my fingers closing around a slip of thin paper.
Pepper - I'm so sorry I couldn't have been here when you woke up, turns out Phil didn't have his keys and I have to go and let him in. I tried to wake you but you were out for the count. How about text me in the morning and I will buy you some breakfast. Thanks for a great night x
His number followed, and I couldn't help but laugh at the goofy smiley face that he had drawn, and the fact that the whole letter appeared to be written in one of my eyeliners.
"I'm sorry Dan," I said, looking up at him. "I really thought you had just ditched me. I assumed you were going to be like any other bloke. I'm wrong, obviously." I laughed nervously.
He took my hand and pulled me off of the bed, looking right into my eyes like he had done a few nights previously. "Don't worry, beautiful." He kissed me tenderly on the lips.