The Smashy Amazing Race: Season Four

by Hoogiman

SEASON FOUR! Join eleven teams of two smashers on a race around the world! See Fox and Falcon, the party boys! See Marth and Squirtle, the human and turtle lover! See Zelda and Roy, the gold digger and diggee and see Luigi... ...Luigi's really insane.

2. You Fat, Sassy Penguin

"Last time on The Smashy Amazing Race," said Master Hand, "Eleven teams set off from Toad Town, Mushroom Kingdom to Saffron City, Kanto!"

A shot of the teams running from the starting line played.

"Dating teams Marth and Squirtle, Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, Wolf and Samus and Roy and Zelda signed up for the first flight going out!"

"Oh, that footrace was worth it, we made the first flight!" said Wolf, excited, holding up the tickets.

"Oh yes, we're excited!" laughed Samus, nibbling on Wolf's ear.

"…but their flight was delayed!"

"It's really good to be on the first flight," said Samus, sitting on a four-seat row next to Wolf and Jigglypuff.

"We're experiencing some delays," said a voice over the intercom. "Our flight will depart approximately 45 minutes later…"

"LOL Looks Like You wERE wRONG SaMUssss" laughed Jigglypuff.

"And the teams on the second flight, Fox and Falcon, Wario and Mr. Resetti, Kirby and Pikachu and Toon Link and King Dedede, took the lead!"

"Frats are out first!" said Fox, wheeling out a trolley of shoplifted beer from the duty-free section.

"Teams travelled to their first task… eating an entire bowl of crickets!" said Master Hand. "Best friends, Kirby and Pikachu finished the task very quickly!"

Said Kirby, "Uh… like I was saying… I have very high standards for…"

Pikachu stuffed the bowl of crickets into Kirby's mouth.

"Hey!" said Kirby angrily.

"Fraternity brothers Fox and Falcon persevered through the task," said Master Hand, "Landing themselves in the first departing group for the next day!"

"Fratt… power!" said Fox, stuffing twenty crickets into Falcon's mouth.

Falcon vomited.

"Fraattt… powwweerrr!" said Fox, stuffing more crickets into Falcon's mouth.

"But other teams didn't find the task so easy!"

"Come on, honey, do you want to be in this race?" said Roy, chewing on several crickets.

"ROOY!" wailed Zelda, "I can't do this! And I can't believe you'd treat me like this!"

"The next day, teams travelled to a Pokemon Contest Hall, where Kirby and Pikachu and Fox and Falcon battled it out over a detour!"

The camera panned on Kirby, wearing a cowboy hat, performing the moves with his partner to absolute precision, displaying an aura of fun at the same time.

The camera panned on Pikachu, who was being slapped mercilessly by the Wigglytuff, who appeared not at all interested in dancing.

"Dude, we're almost done," said Fox, pouring a trail of beer towards the truck, which the Pokemon followed, sipping along excitedly.

"It was Fox and Falcon who finished first!" said Master Hand.

"Dude, use your frat power!" said Fox proudly.

"But a costly navigational error caused them to lose costly time!" said Master Hand.

"I know! We'll go underwater!" said Falcon smartly, pointing to a scuba diving shop. "All volcanoes are under the sea!"

"Awesome!" said Fox.

"Fratttt powwweerrr!" said Falcon.

They ran into the sea.

And drowned.

"Kirby and Pikachu snuck into first, with the frats coming in just seconds behind!"

"Kirby and Pikachu," said Master Hand excitedly, "You're team number one!"

"Cool!" said Kirby, hugging Pikachu.

"At the back of the pack, Roy and Zelda excelled on a dancing task!" said Master Hand, "But when Zelda had to walk one kilometre uphill…"

"Rooy! This is so hard!" complained Zelda, barely halfway up the climb, "My feet are hurting!"

"You'll be fine," said Roy, slowly walking up.

"…she broke down!"

"Roooy!" wailed Zelda.

"Zelda, please…" said Roy.

"Roooy!" wailed Zelda.

"In last and second last place, it looked like a battle between Lucas and Yoshi and Luigi and Peach to stay in the race!"

"We're just beating them!" said Lucas, "We can do this, Yoshi!"

"But evil twins Diddy Kong and Ivysaur made a huge navigational error at the pit stop…"

"Let's find the pit stop!" said Diddy Kong, "It's got to be here somewhere!"

Shrieking orchestral music played, as the camera panned on the pit stop on the other side of the road.

"…and they came in last."

"We don't care," said Diddy Kong.

"Ten teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?" said Master Hand.

The Teams:

Wolf and Samus (Newly Dating)

Roy and Zelda (Engaged)

Marth and Squirtle (Dating Six Years)

Toon Link and King Dedede (Coal Miners)

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf (Dating Twelve Days)

Lucas and Yoshi (Roommates)

Fox and Falcon (Fraternity Brothers)

Luigi and Peach (Dating)

Wario and Mr. Resetti (Fire Fighters)

Kirby and Pikachu (Best Friends)

"After arriving at the first pit stop, all teams have to undertake a mandatory rest period where they can sleep, eat, and mingle with the other teams!" said Master Hand.

A shot of Fox and Falcon lecturing the other teams about responsible drinking appeared on the screen.

"Can Kirby and Pikachu cope with the competitiveness of the field and the hostility from other teams and stay at the top of the pack in first place?" said Master Hand, "Can Zelda overcome the physical and mental barriers of the race and keep her team in the race?"

"Kirby and Pikachu, who were the first to arrive at 11:22 AM, will depart at 11:22 PM!" said Master Hand.

Kirby and Pikachu
1st to depart: 11:22 PM

Kirby ripped open the clue. "Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!"

"Teams must now fly over 700 kilometres to Isle Delfino!" said Master Hand, "This tropical obviously not-recycled race destination is a honeymooner's paradise, and is most famous for its appearance in the Super Mario Sunshine game!"
"Once teams arrive here, they will find their next clue on a marked car in the airport!"

"Let's go!" said Kirby, dragging along his tiny little purple backpack.

"Okay…" grumbled Pikachu, dragging along a gigantic picnic basket.

"Now Pikachu, why are you dragging along so much food?" said Kirby angrily.

"Because you told me to!" said Pikachu angrily. "In fact, I don't even know why I'm carrying this for you!"

Pikachu stared angrily at Kirby.

"You know what Pikachu, you really shouldn't eat that much," said Kirby, "Obesity is the cause of such problems as heart disease and-"

Pikachu dropped the picnic basket on the ground and walked along, luggage-less.

"Hey wait!" said Kirby, waving his arms, "Don't you want to keep on carrying your luggage? I'd be so sorry for you if you lost your luggage! Because I'm such a good friend!"

Fox and Falcon
2nd to depart: 11:26 PM

"Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!" read Fox, "You have thirteen dollars for this leg of the race."

"Let's go dude!" said Falcon, wheeling along a supermarket trolley full of beer.

"Dude, how do you get so much beer?" laughed Fox, slightly intoxicated, "We have like, not enough money to buy all of this booze!"

"Uh…" said Falcon, "I uh… have my ways…"

A police car on the other side of the road spotted them, and turned on its siren.

"I have my ways…" said Falcon.

Kirby and Pikachu
Best Friends

"Pikachu, wait!" said Kirby, panting, several metres behind Pikachu, "Oh gosh! It's an emergency!"

"What?" said Pikachu, turning around.

Kirby sat down, laid out the picnic mat, sat down and got out a jar of jam and a piece of bread.

"Kirby! We're fifteen metres away from the taxi rank! You can eat in there!" said Pikachu angrily.

"But I don't wanna!" fussed Kirby, kicking his legs.

Pikachu dragged Kirby by the ear towards the taxi rank.

"You are so insensitive towards my weight!" said Kirby angrily.

Fox and Falcon
Frat Boys

"Falcon and I are so glad to be in Dream Land and seeing all of the local Waddle Dees," said Falcon, sipping some beer.

"Dude, you must be so drunk…" said Fox, "We're obviously in Monaco! Gosh!"

Ba-doom tish.

Applause.

Toon Link and King Dedede
3rd to depart: 11:55 PM

"Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!" read Toon Link, "You have thirteen dollars for this leg of the race."

…

"So… no joke, I guess?" said Toon Link, smirking.

"PIZZA! PIZZA! WHERE?!" screamed King Dedede, his eyes a healthy evil toxic lava green.

"Where the hell were you last night!" shouted Toon Link, "What the hell did you take?"

"Why the hell was that a practical joke?" chortled King Dedede.

The filming crew laughed.

"Bloody hell!" said Toon Link angrily in a Harry Potter-esque style. "That's such a bad joke! Why did you do that?"

…

"And why are your eyes green?" said Toon Link angrily.

"Not drugs…" said King Dedede.

Toon Link laughed.

King Dedede shuffled his feet.

Cinnabar Island Airport

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 1st Place

"We're first to the airporrrtt…" sang Kirby.

They walked up to the ticket desk.

"We'reee orrrderrriiinnnggg tiiiccckkkettss…" sang Kirby and Pikachu in unison.

"Shut up," said the person at the desk. "I have a minimum wage job and I'm not going to put up with your crappy musical theatre this early in the morning."

…

"Someone's a bit grumpy…" said Pikachu cutely.

"Yes, yes I am," said the ticket agent angrily.

She processed their tickets.

She handed them over angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu
1st on 8:00 AM Flight

"Bye!" waved Kirby.

The ticket agent grunted.

"…heeelllooo!" sang Kirby, sliding across the ticket agent's desk.

The ticket agent started to cry.

"You arrreee crrryiinnngg…" sang Pikachu.

Fox and Falcon
Frat Boys

"Sup dudes!" said Falcon, walking into the airport.

"Hey!" said Kirby.

Falcon, Fox, Kirby and Pikachu did their high-fives and thumb-twiddling handshakes.

"I am so wasted, man," said Fox, gulping down more beer.

Kirby and Pikachu stared, puzzled.

"Oh, don't worry, just responsible adult talk!" said Falcon.

Fox and Falcon laughed.

"I get it, because we're not responsible adults… so it's like a lie!" laughed Fox.

"Yeah, that was the joke, dude," said Falcon.

"I know," said Fox sexily.

Fox and Falcon
2nd on 8:00 AM Flight

"Hey ma'am, why are you crying?" said Fox, talking to the ticket agent, still upset.

"I know how to cheer you up!" said Falcon slyly, "Do you like Thai food? Because you're Thai-riffic!"

The ticket agent sulked.

"Show me your moves!" said Falcon, flexing.

The ticket agent sulked.

"Dude… it's not working…" said Falcon angrily.

"Show her your moves!" said Fox.

"Falcon…" said Falcon, "Punch!"

Falcon's fist rocketed into the table, sending wood splinters everywhere, including into the ticket agent's face.

"AAAH!" screamed the ticket agent, bleeding.

"I'm Falcon, by the way," said Falcon suavely.

"AAAH!" screamed the ticket agent, bleeding.

"And what am I doing wrong?" said Falcon angrily.

King Dedede
3rd on 8:00 AM Flight

"Hey," said King Dedede, walking suavely up to the ticket counter, wearing dark shades. "I need the uh… fastest tickets to Isle Delfino…"

The ticket lady (the one that wasn't bleeding) fluttered her eyelashes and handed over the tickets.

"Say…" said King Dedede, winking, "Do you like Thai food? Because you're Thai-riffic!"

"Oh hoh hoh!" laughed the lady, unbuttoning her dress, "Give me your number you fat, sassy penguin…"

King Dedede winked at the camera.

Locked in the taxi

Toon Link grunted.

Ribbon Resort

Wolf and Samus
4th to depart: 12:37 AM

"You have thirteen dollars for this leg of the race," read Wolf.

"Let's go," said Samus.

Wolf and Samus
Newly Dating

"I believe we're actually the only team that could win this race," said Wolf. "I don't thing a single other team has genuinely any other chance of beating us."

"Yo, yo!" said Samus, with a baseball cap on backwards, "That's because we're the best, home dogs!"

…

…

Master Hand stared at Samus.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
5th to depart: 12:42 AM

"YOU have thirteen dollars for THIS leg of the race," shouted Ganondorf. "HURRY jeeglypuff or we'll be late for the heiroplane"

"IM COMING SWEETIE" said Raichu.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Dating Twelve Days

"Ganondorf and I met on the MSN," said Jigglypuff. "And I was like, OMG Ganondorf ur my sweetie pie"

"and I'm like whose this" said Ganondorf.

"and I'M like it's me ZELDA but I GOT THE PLASTIC SURGERY and change name to hied from Link so we can be backs together forever" said Jigglypuff.

"AND I AM SONIC the personal assistant in Ganondorf's magical backpack" said a blue hedgehog.

Marth and Squirtle
6th to depart: 12:50 AM

"Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!" read Marth.

"Honey, we're going to a tropical place!" cheered Squirtle.

Marth and Squirtle

"Worst part about the race so far…" said Marth to himself, "Hmm… probably having to travel with him!"

"Oh! You did just not go there!" said Squirtle, laughing.

"Oh! I went there!" said Marth.

"Oh! You did just not go there!" said Squirtle, laughing.

"Oh! I went there!" said Marth.

…

"Oh! You did just not go there!" said Squirtle, laughing.

Cinnabar Island Airport

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

"We made the first flight!" said Toon Link.

"We?" said King Dedede slyly.

"That's not even a pun!" said Toon Link, "What do you mean?"

"Well, the sound guy and the camera guy have their tickets…" said King Dedede.

The cameraman and sound guy waved to the camera.

"…and I have my ticket…" said King Dedede.

"And…" said Toon Link.

…

"Where's my ticket?" said Toon Link angrily.

"Here's your first clue!" said King Dedede, "Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!"

King Dedede handed Toon Link a piece of paper.

"In order to board the plane, you will soon see," read Toon Link. "That you'll have to solve clues from King Dedede! You'll get your ticket if you follow these clues, while Dedede by himself goes to buy shoes!"

"You're making me go on a treasure hunt for my freaking airline ticket?!" screamed Toon Link.

"Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede, passing over his first clue.

Toon Link opened the envelope. "Clue One: Buy King Dedede a coffee with your half of the money."

"WHAT?!" said Toon Link angrily, "This isn't even a riddle!"

"But there's one way to solve it!" laughed King Dedede.

Toon Link grunted.

Ribbon Resort

Wario and Mr. Resetti
7th to depart: 1:36 AM

"Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!" read Mr. Resetti.

"Isle Delfino?" said Mr. Resetti in his old rambling guy voice, "I haven't been to Isle Delfino for years! Why, the last time I was there-"

Wario

"My partner is very annoying," said Wario angrily. "I figure if he talks for long enough, he'll either shut up or have a seizure and die and something. If I put up with it, I'll win sooner or later."

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"You see, tadpoles those days weren't called tadpoles," said Mr. Resetti wisely, "They were called bitpoles! As you know, bit is the synonym of tad, but they standardized the two different words to-"

Wario's face turned slightly red.

Roy and Zelda
8th to depart: 2:20 AM

"Fly to Isle Delfino!" read Roy.

Roy and Zelda

"I love Roy because he's so rich!" said Zelda sweetly.

"Huh?" said Roy.

"…in character…" said Zelda.

"Oh! Zelda! You're funny!" said Roy sweetly.

Roy

"I think Zelda's just the sweetest girl I've ever met!" said Roy, "She was the girl to get in high school, and now I've got her! I just guess I've matured and developed some male charm, if you know what I mean."

"Uh…" said Master Hand, "Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why she wants to marry you is to-"

"I know exactly what you're talking about!" laughed Roy, "I guess I developed some confidence in getting girls and look, it's paid off!"

"I meant that-"

"I know, and I've just developed this handsome kinda charm, really woos the ladies!" chuckled Roy, holding his arms together.

Lucas and Yoshi
9th to depart: 2:54 AM

"Fly to Isle Delfino and find your next clue at the airport carpark!" read Yoshi.

Lucas and Yoshi
Roommates

"Yeah, we're making an effort to become friends…" said Yoshi.

…

"Can we like, go now?" said Lucas angrily, "We've been in this interview room forever!"

"You just came in," said Master Hand.

…

"You guys are so mean!" sobbed Lucas, "And I'm trying so hard to be your friend!"

Luigi and Peach
Last to depart: 2:55 AM

"You have thirteen dollars for this leg of the race," read Luigi.

"Let's go!" said Peach, dragging along a trolley.

"Peach, what are you doing with that trolley?" said Luigi.

"Silly!" laughed Peach, "Remember? After the accident last night, we're going to drop this body at the morgue!"

"That's really funny, Peach!" laughed Luigi manically, "You have a… very creative mind!"

The corpse slid out of the body bag, plopping onto the ground.

"Well… have you… seen the… Ferris Wheel… over there?!" cackled Luigi manically, pointing the camera away from the body.

"There's no Ferris Wheel in town, silly!" laughed Peach.

"SHUT UP," screamed Luigi, shooting Peach.

Peach fell to the ground.

"Well… have you… seen the… Ferris Wheel… over there?!" cackled Luigi manically, pointing the camera away from the body.

The cameraman slowly stepped back.

Cinnabar Island Airport

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Clue number six…" said Toon Link, ripping open the envelope. "Give King Dedede a foot rub!"

"Is any of this actually going to be a puzzle or are you just making me bribe you for my airline pass?" said Toon Link angrily.

"Maybe… hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

"You know what? I'm stopping this little charade!" said Toon Link angrily, "I know you're going to give me this ticket, because you want to win this race, and you don't want to get eliminated!"

King Dedede sat there, smiling.

"Ha! Outsmarted!" laughed Toon Link, "Now hand me back my ticket!"

King Dedede sat there, smiling.

"King Dedede?" said Toon Link, shaking King Dedede.

King Dedede sat there, smiling.

"King Dedede!" said Toon Link, shocked, taking the penguin's pulse.

"I'M HERE!!!!!!" screamed King Dedede, shaking Toon Link violently off him, "Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!"

Toon Link grunted.

Ticket Counter

Wolf and Samus
Newly Dating

"So, we have three teams at the same time booking tickets," said Wolf, "Our lady looks quick, so hopefully we'll get on the first flight."

Marth and Squirtle
4th on 8:00 AM Flight

"We made it on the first flight," said Squirtle, holding up the tickets.

Wolf and Samus
5th on 8:00 AM Flight

"I have a feeling everyone is going to make the flight…" said Wolf, taking the tickets.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
6th on 8:00 AM Flight

The ticket agent typed into her computer.

"CAN we have A free FIRST CLASS upgrade?" said Jigglypuff.

"yeah COS we're celebrities" said Ganondorf.

"No," said the ticket agent, smiling politely. "The flight is very full."

"CAN we have A free FIRST CLASS upgrade?" said Jigglypuff.

"yeah COS we're celebrities" said Ganondorf.

"Uh… I don't think you heard me the first time… I can't," said the ticket agent.

…

"yeah COS we're celebrities" said Ganondorf.

"OMG Ganondorf I didn't even say it that time! GOSH!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"mAYBE we haven'T gotten the UPGRADE we're supposed to GET because UR not as famous as me" said Ganondorf.

"OH YEAH?"

"YEAH like I've got my face ON all THE MOVIE posters" said Ganondorf, spitting onto the ticket lady.

Ganondorf pointed to a poster noting a warrant for his arrest.

"YOU win this TIME but I am the better HOCKEY player" said Jigglypuff, spitting on the lady.

"Can you stop spitting on me?" said the lady angrily.

"PARODN?" said Ganondorf and Jigglypuff at the same time, slopping their tongues onto the ticket agent's face.

The ticket agent pressed the security button.

"I HOPE YOU MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI" said Jigglypuff.

Security dragged Jigglypuff away.

"I HOPE YOU MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI" said Jigglypuff.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
7th on 8:00 AM Flight

"We made the first flight," said Wario. "And this guy still won't shut up…"

The camera panned on Mr. Resetti, rambling, "…the chicken coop in my childhood house doubled as an opium…"

"I swear, you could suffocate the guy and he wouldn't notice…" said Wario angrily.

"…the great English house bonfire of 1285…"

Wario started to suffocate Mr. Resetti.

Mr. Resetti continued to make talking actions and motions with his hands and mouth, but no sound came out.

Wario continued to suffocate Mr. Resetti.

"Uh… maybe you should stop…" said the cameraman.

Wario continued to suffocate Mr. Resetti.

Roy and Zelda
8th on 8:00 AM Flight

"We're glad to be equal with everyone… we really think we should be at the top of the pack," said Roy.

Lucas and Yoshi
9th on 8:00 AM Flight

"We're on the last flight!" said Lucas angrily, "You suck so bad at booking tickets!"

"We're on the first flight," said Yoshi angrily.

…

"You have such poor fashion sense!" said Lucas angrily, "Buy some new clothes!"

Yoshi pointed to Lucas's 80's disco hand-me-downs.

"Uh…" said Lucas, "You smell."

Luigi and Peach
Last on 8:00 AM Flight

"Yay! We made the first flight!" said Peach, kissing Luigi.

"I don't want to be seen with you," said Luigi angrily.

"Yay!" said Peach, running off. "I'm free!"

"All teams are now on the same 8:00 AM flight to Isle Delfino, which lands at 1:20 PM, local time!" said Master Hand. "Once teams land here, they must make their way to the airport carpark, where they will find their next clue in a marked car!"

Isle Delfino

Various shots of the beach and tropical scenery appeared on screen.

Isle Delfino International Airport

1st Flight
Landed at 1:23 PM

Wolf and Samus
"Run! Run!" said Samus, jogging along with Wolf from the gate.

Fox and Falcon

"Mad frat jogging skills!" said Falcon, sprinting along, a pair of briefs on his head.

"Dude… Why are you wearing underwear on your face?" said Fox, running along.

Falcon ran into a pole.

Lucas and Yoshi

"Come on, Yoshi! Hurry up!" said Lucas angrily.

Lucas and Yoshi
Roommates

"I think you'll find that everyone is so impressed with my masculinity and male charm, as exemplified by this race," said Lucas.

…

Luigi and Peach

"Hurry Luigi!" said Peach, dragging Luigi out of the gate.

"But Peach! We need to grab as many free TV's as possible!" said Luigi desperately, lugging along an entertainment screen he stole from his plane.

"Uh… Luigi… I don't think you're supposed to take those…" said Peach, jogging along in her high-heels and dress.

"Peach… you're so naive!" laughed Luigi, proudly hugging his stolen screen.

"And I don't think that's going to work with your VCR…" said Peach, "It kinda has broken wires…"

"Nag! Nag! Nag!" said Luigi angrily, "And do you know why my last wife mysterious disappeared?"

…

"Under my car?" said Luigi angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu

"I can't believe they handed us those meals and toys!" said Pikachu angrily, "What do they take us for, a couple of kids?"

"Eeeow," said Kirby, waving his plane around. "Eeeeeeow."

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"oMG are you a local we needs the inside informationS!" said Jigglypuff, dragging along a crying child.

"I want my mummy!" cried the child.

"OMGS we got the cultural Advantage very smart" said Ganondorf.

"Why are you kidnapping me?" cried the child.

"Ice cream!" said Jigglypuff.

"Yay!" said the Ganondorf.

The child cried.

"Omg not for you the kid thinks he's not getting the ice creams!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

Roy and Zelda

"Roy! How are we at the bottom at the pack? We're supposed to be equal!" said Zelda angrily.

Marth and Squirtle

"Oh my gosh, everyone is taking this so seriously," said Squirtle walking along, watching the other sprinting teams.

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"This guy's been going since early this morning, the whole flight!" said Wario angrily.

"…and the cub kittens… or as we called them… cittens were actually little baby bears! And you see, this kite that we had there weren't call kilojoules… we used the metric system which equated to twelve imperial foot! You know what you could buy with a chicken foot? Seventeen gallons of human gallbladders! And my, that would be a very good starting hand in a rousing game of paintball! Say, my friend, did I ever tell you the time about when I was young in the coalmines and I met Will Shakespeare? Turns out the lass wanted to marry me…" rambled Mr. Resetti.

"It's rather annoying," said Wario angrily.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"Can you do anything but walk?" said Toon Link angrily to King Dedede, whose casual stroll was apace with Toon Link's vigorous sprint.

"Yes!" said King Dedede, stopping.

…

"I meant like, running or something!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Yes, but I'm doing something different than walking! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" said King Dedede, chuckling.

Toon Link walked into the knife store.

"Don't stab me with one, boy!" chuckled King Dedede.

Toon Link bought a knife.

"Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Airport Carpark

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 1st Place

"First to the cars!" said Wolf, opening a clue.

"Drive to the Coconut Cafe!" read Wolf.

"Teams must now find out that the Coconut Cafe is a little known eatery in Delfino Plaza, the capital of Isle Delfino!" said Master Hand. "When teams get their bearing, they must drive forty-four kilometres from the airport to that cafe to get their next clue!"
"However, the airport is several kilometres away from any major towns, and there is a sign pointing to a coconut vendor several miles in the opposite direction, which could be potentially time wasting!"

"That's the entire clue?" said Samus.

"Yeah," said Wolf.

"Hmm… let's try airport information," said Samus.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 2nd Place

"Drive to the Coconut Cafe!" read Fox.

"Dude, let's not waste any time!" said Falcon, jumping into the seat of the car.

"You sure, man?" said Fox, sipping a Long Island Iced tea. "We have no idea where this place is."

"Yeah man," said Falcon, starting the engine, "Let's just try and hit a town and look there!"

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 3rd Place

"Follow them!" shouted Lucas, hopping in the car.

"Don't we want to read the clue?" said Yoshi, reluctantly sitting in the driver's seat.

"We'll lose them! Come on! Let's win this leg!" said Lucas angrily.

Wolf and Samus

"Let's sneak around the back," said Wolf, tip-toeing behind the cars, "We don't want anyone else to try the info desk."

"I've got a disguise!" said Samus, putting on a moustache.

…

"Uh… yeah…" said Wolf, "Good work there…"

"No-one can recognise me!" whispered Samus loudly.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 4th Place

"Drive to the Coconut Cafe!" read Luigi.

"Hey! They have a local! Let's follow them!" said Peach excitedly.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"omg ur so nice offering us around the city" said Jigglypuff sweetly.

"You said I had to or you'd hurt my family!" cried the kid.

"omg he's such a cutie wutie!" said Ganondorf.

"MY SON'S OVER THERE! AND HE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!" screamed a voice from the other side of the carpark.

"LOL maybe we should go" said Ganondorf.

"ROFLMAO yes" said Jigglypuff, turning on the engine.

"HYARK HYARK gettit? I'm likes the king dedede" said Ganondorf.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 6th Place

"We have no idea where it is, though," said Kirby.

"Hey! We can try the info desk!" said Pikachu.

"Yeah! Let's go," said Kirby.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 7th Place

"Guys! Where are you going?" said Roy to Kirby and Pikachu.

"The info desk!" said Kirby.

"I can't be bothered walking," said Zelda, polishing her nails, "Let's just wait here! You and me!"

"Aww, you're so cute!" said Roy.

Information Desk

Wolf and Samus

"Hi, we're looking how to get to the Coconut Cafe," said Wolf to the lady at the kiosk.

"I'm a spy!" said Samus, wearing her moustache and glasses with an attached nose piece.

…

"Uh… don't mind her…" said Wolf.

Airport Carpark

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 8th Place

"We're drivin… we're drivin…" said King Dedede.

King Dedede reversed the car violently, hitting several parked cars.

"Can you drive more… carefully?" said Toon Link.

"Nope! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Marth and Squirtle
Currently in 9th Place

"I'm so tired," said Squirtle, jumping into the passenger's seat.

"I know, let's just let someone else do the work for us," said Marth, "Follow these guys!"

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Currently in Last Place

"Golly gosh that was a big airplane. I'll say I haven't sat in such a big airplane since I was a wee little mole of five years old. My mam'd always say to me, 'Come on, Resetti Junior, ain't this a darned big plane?' Those were the days. I remember the little girl across the street - Jennifer was her name - sneaking across the old fences to go apple-picking with me. We'd sneak into old Mrs Crotchety's yard, kill her dog, and go have picnic with her apples. Those were the sweetest apples I've ever tasted, no doubt about that. We used to do it every day after school. One day she cottoned on, though. Noticed how her dogs kept dying or something. Don't know how," said Mr. Resetti.
"Anyways, when lil' Jennifer and I - I was the taller of the two, born to a family of proud Resettis who were taller than their peers, so it was no surprise that I was taller than my peers, and make no mistake about it, Jennifer was a peer of mine, me bein' the same age as she - climbed over Mrs Crotchety's garden fence that day, she was waitin' for us with a flamethrower…"

Wario's face turned red.

Information Desk

Wolf and Samus

"Okay, the Coconut Cafe is located in Delfino Plaza on South Drive," said the lady at the information desk.

"Right, got it," said Wolf, scribbling down the details.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Hey! There's Wolf and Samus!" said Kirby excitedly.

Wolf and Samus

"Company," said Wolf, running towards the exit.

"Hey guys, are you looking for the info desk? Because it's right there!" said Samus, pointing to an arcade game on the other side of the room.

"Do you think we're stupid?" said Pikachu angrily. "The info desk is right behind you! Do you think we'd honestly fall for that?"

"Neeooowww!" said Kirby, jingly music and bright buzzing lights emitted from the other side of the room.

Isle Delfino

Fox and Falcon
Frat Boys

"We're heading towards Isle Delfino, and we're just going to stop at the next town to find where the cafe's at," said Fox, driving the car.

Lucas and Yoshi
Roommates

"Well… we were going to follow Fox and Falcon, before my incompetent roommate couldn't get out of first gear and now we're in last place!" said Yoshi angrily.

"I'd like to see you drive!" said Lucas angrily, stopping the car and hopping out.

Yoshi drove off.

"Hmmph!" said Lucas angrily, standing on the side of the road.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Dating 12 Days

"oMG we're almost there thanks to tHE hope of our very kind local" said Jigglypuff.

"Will you let me go?!" cried the boy.

"OMG you're so sweet! How nice of you to be our TOUR guide for THE WHOLE raec!" cheered Ganondorf.

The boy cried.

"y is he crying?" said Ganondorf.

"He HASN'T GOT THE ENOUGH NUTRIENTS from all three food groups!1" said Jigglypuff.

Luigi and Peach
Dating

"Right now we're just following Jigglypuff and Ganondorf," said Luigi, driving along.

Wolf and Samus
Newly Dating

"This is insane," said Wolf, steering through the windy coastal road, "We haven't seen anyone since leaving the airport… we could be in first… we could be last…"

Marth and Squirtle
Dating Six Years

"Squirtle and I can't be stuffed navigating, so we're just following the two cars in front of us," said Marth.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Firefighters

"We're putting the faith of our entire race on the car in front of us, King Dedede and Toon Link," said Wario.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

"Do you have any idea where we're going?" said Toon Link.

"Nope! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" said King Dedede.

"Hey look! There's a coconut sign!" said Toon Link excitedly, "We should stop! The clue might be there!"

"Nope! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" said King Dedede.

King Dedede did a sharp u-turn and drove off into the other direction.

Coconut Vendor

Marth and Squirtle

"Here it is!" said Marth, hopping out of the car.

"Why did Toon Link and King Dedede make a U-Turn?" said Squirtle.

"Maybe they're parking so that when they hop in the car, they're going the right way," said Marth, walking up to the vendor.

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"Hurry up! We have to follow them or we might miss the clue!" said Wario angrily, dragging Mr. Resetti out of the car.

Isle Delfino

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

"What the heck was that?" said Toon Link angrily, "We probably missed the clue!"

"No boy, you see, I used my photographic memory to memorise the map in several seconds as we got into the car!" said King Dedede.

A black and white shot played on the screen, showing King Dedede hopping into the car.

"Now, I knew that there was a coconut vendor a few miles off course," said King Dedede, "So I led the navigationally reliant teams there and dropped them off there clueless… literally! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!"

"That was genius!" said Toon Link, impressed. "We'll surely not get eliminated today!"

"Too bad we have no petrol!" laughed King Dedede.

The car stopped.

Toon Link grunted.

Coconut Vendor

Marth and Squirtle

"Let's get the clue quick!" said Marth, running from the carpark uphill towards the vendor.

They walked up to the vendor.

"Can we have our clue?" said Marth.

"What clue?" replied a man.

"Wait… is this the Coconut Cafe?" said Squirtle, pulling out the clue.

"No! No! That's a place in Delfino Plaza!" said the man. "You took the wrong turn from the airport! It's five miles that way!"

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"Come on, let's see where the clue's at!" said Wario, slowly walking up the hill.

Marth and Squirtle

"Oh my gosh, we're in last place now!" said Squirtle, upset, running down the hill.

"Squirtle! Hold up the old clue! We'll trick them!" said Marth.

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"Damn it! They found the clue!" said Wario angrily, walking uphill.

Marth and Squirtle

"What a bad mistake," said Marth, reversing the car out onto the road, "Today is a real possibility that we'll get eliminated!"

Isle Delfino

Kirby and Pikachu

"Kirby… is that team following us?" said Pikachu, pointing behind, "That car's been behind us since the airport!"

"I'll drive into this side street," said Kirby.

Roy and Zelda

"Why are they stopping?" said Zelda.

"I dunno, I'll stop the car," said Roy.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Now I should drive off!" said Kirby, putting his hand on the ignition key.

"Wait! Wait for them to get out of the car!" said Pikachu.

Roy and Zelda

Roy hopped out of the car.

The other car drove off.

"ROOY!" screamed Zelda.

"I'm sorry!" shouted Roy, clumsily running back towards his car.

Kirby and Pikachu

"Swindled!" laughed Kirby, giving Pikachu a high-five.

They stopped at a traffic light.

Roy and Zelda's car pulled up next to Kirby's car.

"Drat," said Kirby angrily.

Delfino Plaza

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 1st Place

"oMG we made it thanks to the navigation of our very own son!!!" said Ganondorf, driving through the main drive of the tropical, beachside Delfino Plaza.

"I'm not your son!" cried the boy.

"oMG it's almost Christmas the SANTa claus is coming r u excited???!" said Jigglypuff.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 2nd Place

"We're here! We're here!" cheered Luigi.

"Yay!" cheered Peach, wearing a yellow dress, "Can I change my clothes now? I want to look more like a beach lady!"

Peach did a twirl.

"NO, damn it! Now shut up and keep looking like my ex-wife!" said Luigi angrily.

…

"Daisy," said Luigi.

"I'm not Daisy, silly!" laughed Peach.

"I'll make you Daisy!" said Luigi angrily, taking out a knife.

"Oh Luigi! You're so romantic!" said Peach admiringly.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"Dude, we are so in paradise right now," said Fox, looking at the beach, "Look how many babes there are!"

"Maybe we can get our first girlfriend!" said Falcon.

Fox and Falcon cried.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 4th Place

"Look at this gorgeous beach!" said Wolf, peering through the window at the beach, "I'm gonna get me a suntan afterwards!"

"Suntan… more like… wolf-tan…" said Samus.

…

Coconut Cafe

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 1st Place

"Detour!" read Jigglypuff, "Climb A Wall or VoLLeyball?"

"Detour!" said Master Hand, "A Detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour, teams must choose between two popular beach activities… Climb a Wall… or Volleyball!"
"In Climb a Wall, teams must scale this 55 metre beach tower using a rope ladder! Once both teams reach the top, they will look from the observation deck down to see gigantic scattered letters in red that will reveal to them their next destination. When a team guesses their destination right, they will be handed their next clue."
"When teams are finished, they must take this long, winding water slide down the fifty-five metre tower!"
"This task requires racers to have a combination of both physical strength and observation, so teams who can stay focused after a physical task will finish quickly!"
"In Volleyball, both team members must take centre court and play a two on two against a duo of local beach volleyball champions!"
"When teams have won a total of three points, they will receive their next clue. However, if there are other teams waiting, teams who lose a point must go to the back of the line and wait for their turn. This task is highly technical and the wait may appear frustrating, however, the task is not horribly strenuous! Any teams who find themselves not breaking their own bones and breaking serve might fight themselves breaking into the lead!"

"Let us do the Volleyballs! I am highly skilled at the computer games so I will be the bEst at this" said Ganondorf.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 2nd Place

"Let's do volleyball!" said Peach.

"I just realised! I can go to the beach! …I'm not a registered sex offender in this country!" cheered Luigi. "Yahoo!"

Everyone stared at Luigi.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 3rd Place

"We shall unlock our frat powers and play volleyball!" declared Falcon.

"Unlocking… FRRRATTT POWERS!" said Falcon and Fox in unison, interlocking arms.

They ran around in circles for about four minutes.

"Oh god! I'm so dizzy!" screamed Falcon.

Fox vomited into Falcon's mouth.

"…thank you?" said Falcon.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 4th Place

"We should climb the wall," said Samus.

"And I'll climb on you later tonight," said Wolf slyly.

…

"Why?" said Samus.

…

Isle Delfino

Lucas and Yoshi
Roommates

"We've lost the car we were following… so we have no idea where we are…" said Lucas.

"Maybe because you can't drive!" said Yoshi angrily, the car having been stationary for the last ten minutes, "And why are you still in the driver's seat? We're going to come last and it's all your fault!"

Lucas cried.

"Oh, come on!" said Yoshi angrily.

"You're so mean to me!" sobbed Lucas, "What have I ever done to you!"

"You called me a dog and put me on a leash!" said Yoshi angrily.

…

"…uh… besides that?" said Lucas.

"You tried to sell me!" said Yoshi angrily.

"So?" said Lucas angrily.

"To the recycling company!" said Yoshi angrily.

…

"I'm such a good friend to you!" said Lucas angrily, "I can't believe how unbelievably mean you've been to me this trip!"

Marth and Squirtle
Dating Six Years

"We are completely lost…" said Marth.

"I wanna go to the beach!" complained Squirtle, "I don't want to sit here all day in this stupid car!"

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Fire Fighters

"Mr. Resetti is completely delusional, he's been talking since six this morning," said Wario angrily, "And we haven't found the clue… this sucks."

Toon Link and King Dedede
Coal Miners

Toon Link and King Dedede sat there, sipping their drinks and digesting their food.

"WHY are we getting burgers?!" screamed Toon Link angrily. "We're in a race! I don't want to eat burgers!"

"Okay! You don't have to!" said King Dedede.

King Dedede inhaled everything on Toon Link's side of the table, including his burger, his hat, his sword and his beloved childhood toys.

"Hey!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Hay!" said King Dedede, pointing to a farm next door.

Toon Link grunted.

Coconut Cafe

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 5th Place

"Let's climb the wall," said Kirby.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 6th Place

"Let's do volleyball!" said Roy.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"LETSH go to NEPAL" said Ganondorf.

"Hurry up and get on the freaking court," said the cameraman angrily.

Delfino Beach

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
On Volleyball

"oMG welcomes to the first delfino beech volleyball championship games tournament" said Jigglypuff.

"the Underdogs Ganondorf and Jigglypuff are gOing to try an beat the resident champions" said Ganondorf.

Some buff, stern, tall Koopas stared down Jigglypuff and Ganondorf on the other side.

"I'LL SERVE FIRST" said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff threw up the ball.

Jigglypuff waved her arm to hit the ball, but missed.

The ball fell on the ground.

"You're out!" said the ref.

"OMG how could you???!" said Ganondorf.

"OMG I'm trying really hard I'm really sorry" sobbed Jigglypuff.

"IT'S OKAY I LOVE YOU" said Ganondorf.

"NYUM NYUM NYUM" said Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, slopping their tongues on each other's face.

Security removed them from the court.

Luigi and Peach
Points Won: 0

"Let's-a go!" said Luigi, serving the ball over the net.

The ball dropped just over the other side of the net, making one of the opposition players dive for the ball, digging it up.

"Isn't that one of Mario's catch phrases?" giggled Peach.

The other Koopa set the ball, thrusting it up in the air for the other Koopa to hit.

"Mario! Mario! Mario!" said Luigi angrily, "It's always about Mario! Look at me! I'm Luigi! I'm not good enough to be Mario! Well…"

The Koopa smashed the ball towards Luigi.

"…could Mario do this?!" said Luigi angrily.

The ball hit Luigi in the face, knocking him out.

"No!" giggled Peach.

Everyone laughed heartily.

Fox and Falcon
Points Won: 0

"Dude!" laughed Fox, sipping his last bit of beer and throwing it outside of the court, "We are so going to psyche these guys out!"

"FRAT BOY MOON!" declared Falcon.

They ran up to the net and mooned the opposition.

One of the Koopas hit the ball over Fox and Falcon.

They lost the point.

"Damn it!" said Falcon angrily.

"…I can't get my pants back up," said Fox, pointing to his broken belt.

A police car pulled up on the side of the road.

"Hey ladies…" said Fox sexily, without pants.

Climbing Wall

Wolf and Samus
On Climb A Wall

"This is a cinch, Samus!" chuckled Wolf, briskly making his way up his ladder.

"We got company," said Samus, pointing down.

Kirby and Pikachu
On Climb A Wall

"Hi guys!" shouted Kirby, getting his harness put on.

Wolf and Samus

"We are not getting upstaged by these guys," said Wolf angrily.

"Yeah! Go quicker!" said Samus angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu

"La la la," hummed Kirby, abusing his unlimited jumps, puffing up and carrying Pikachu up the side of the wall.

Wolf and Samus

"I can't believe they're cheating!" said Samus angrily, "Why aren't we cheating? I want to cheat! Why are they cheating? Why can't we cheating! I can't believe we're not cheating!"

"Calm down…" said Wolf.

"AIFUEIWFUEBWIFU" screamed Samus, hyperventilating.

Kirby and Pikachu

"La la la," hummed Kirby, catching up to Wolf and Samus.

Wolf and Samus

"When they come near us, knock one of them off," said Wolf.

Kirby and Pikachu

"La la la," hummed Kirby, now equal with Wolf and Samus.

"Rawr!" screamed Wolf, scratching Kirby in the arm.

"Woah!" said Kirby, loosening his grip of Pikachu.

"Rawr!" screamed Wolf, scratching Kirby in the other arm.

Pikachu fell down.

"Wolfs don't say roar," mocked Kirby.

Pikachu was falling to his death.

"Shut up," said Wolf angrily.

"AAH!" screamed Pikachu.

Pikachu grabbed onto the ladder, several metres above the ground.

"I'll wait up the top, Pikachu!" said Kirby, floating all the way to the top.

Delfino Beach

Roy and Zelda
Points Won: 0

"I got it!" said Zelda.

Zelda clumsily tapped the ball up with her fist.

"Smash this one!" said Roy, setting the ball up above the net.

"Hiya!" screamed Zelda.

Zelda missed the ball and hit Roy in the face.

"Ow!" screamed Roy, bleeding.

"Haha! What a horrible accident!" giggled Zelda blushing.

"Call a paramedic!" screamed Roy, bleeding.

"Oh Roy, you cutie!" chuckled Zelda.

"Aaah!" screamed Roy.

Coconut Cafe

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 7th Place

"There's still other clues left!" said Yoshi excitedly.

"Let's climb," said Lucas.

Climbing Wall Observation Tower

Kirby
Solving Puzzle

"I made it up here first, and I'm trying to solve the clue, so when we get up here, we can go straight down," said Kirby.

Wolf and Samus
Climbing Wall

"We're gonna kick Kirby's butt once we get up there," said Samus, the top of the wall in sight.

Kirby
Solving Puzzle

"Okay! I've got some!" said Kirby, pointing to a large mat on the beach from the observation deck. "L… H… and T…"

Wolf and Samus
Finished Climbing

"Okay! Let's get this puzzle!" said Samus, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

Pikachu
Climbing Wall

"I hope Kirby gets this," said Pikachu, quickly making his way up the ladder.

Delfino Beach

Fox and Falcon
Points Won: 0

The Koopa smashed the ball towards the ground. Fox acrobatically dived and kicked up the ball with the back of his heel.

Falcon blindly whacked the ball upwards. Fox regained his footing, eyed down the ball and smashed it into the back corner of the court.

"Point to the challengers!" said the ref.

Fox and Falcon
Points Won: 1

"Frat Power!" cheered Fox and Falcon in unison.

Climbing Wall Observation Tower

Kirby
Solving Puzzle

"I'm coming!" shouted Pikachu from the side of the wall.

"L, H, U, T, R, E…" read Kirby on a piece of paper. "Rel Hut?"

Wolf and Samus
Solving Puzzled

"N, L, A…" said Wolf, peering off the tower.

Pikachu
Climbing Wall

"Almost there!" said Pikachu.

Pikachu grabbed onto the top of the wall.

"Well done!" cheered Kirby.

"Let's do this!" said Pikachu, scampering over towards Kirby.

Coconut Cafe

Marth and Squirtle
Currently in 8th Place

"We made it…" said Marth, "Detour! Climb a Wall or Volleyball?"

"Volleyball," said Squirtle.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Currently in 9th Place

"Volleyball," said Wario.

Isle Delfino

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in Last Place

"I can't believe you made so many stops!" said Toon Link angrily, "It's been like, forever and we're not even there yet!"

"It could get worse!" chuckled King Dedede.

"It is worse!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Memorriees…" sung King Dedede hideously.

"AAAAHHH!" screamed Toon Link.

Volleyball Court

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Points Won: 1

"GANONDORF I HAVE THE INGENIOUS plan" said Jigglypuff. "I Shall be the ball and we will have this stuffed toy version of me, filling in as me!1"

"omg jeeglypuff ur so SMART" said Ganondorf.

"Uh… we know you're trying to cheat," said the Koopa on the other side of the net.

"quote Uh… we know you're trying to cheat unquote" said Ganondorf angrily "omg IF WE'RE REALLY CHEATING then y don't u ban US? HUH?"

At Back of The Line…

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf

"I'M LEAVING THIS FORUM 4EVR!" said Ganondorf angrily.

Volleyball Court

Luigi and Peach
Points Won: 1

Luigi set the ball. "Now hit it Peach! Hit it like I'd hit Mario if he didn't put that restraining order against me because I did some embarrassing things to his tennis trophies!" screamed Luigi.

Everyone stared at Luigi.

"HAHA! Just kidding!" laughed Luigi hysterically.

Peach hit the ball into Luigi's face. It ricocheted and flipped over the net, landing them a point.

"We won!" cheered Peach, jumping up and down. "We won!"

Luigi angrily picked up a crowbar.

"We won!" cheered Peach, jumping up and down. "We won!"

Climbing Wall Observation Tower

Kirby and Pikachu
Solving Puzzle

"R… T… A… E… H… N… U… T… L…" read Kirby and Pikachu quietly.

"Something hut?" said Pikachu.

Wolf and Samus
Solving Puzzle

"Retal… Rental…" read Wolf.

Kirby and Pikachu
Solving Puzzle

"Rental hut!" said Kirby excitedly.

"Gogogo!" said Kirby, running up to the arbiter. "Rental hut?"

Kirby and Pikachu
Finished Detour

Kirby was handed the clue.

"Now we get to go down on the water slide!" cheered Pikachu.

They excitedly ran up to the water slide.

"Can we go in a train?" said Pikachu excitedly.

"Yeah! Can we?" said Kirby.

"Sorry, one at a time," replied the teenage slide supervisor.

Kirby and Pikachu pouted.

Wolf and Samus
Finished Detour

"Rental Hut?" said Wolf.

Wolf took the clue.

Wolf Slide

Kirby and Pikachu
Best Friends

"Please! Please! Please!" said Kirby and Pikachu in unison.

"One at a time!" said the supervisor, facing a utilitarian ethical dilemma.

Wolf and Samus walked up behind Kirby and Pikachu.

"We're going to lose unless we go in a train!" cried Kirby.

"Fine! You can go as a train!" said the supervisor angrily.

"Ooh!" said Kirby, looking at Samus. "Can we go as a train of four?"

"Two at a time!" said the supervisor angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu pouted.

Samus pouted.

"Why are you pouting?" said Wolf.

"I wanna go as a four!" cried Samus, kicking her arms and legs.

Volleyball Court

Fox and Falcon
Points Won: 2

"Come on, use our frat power to win the point!" said Fox.

Falcon hit the ball over the net.

Fox climbed under the net, punched both Koopas in the face and watched the ball drop to the ground.

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

"Illegal!" said the ref angrily, "I am now going to-"

Falcon punched the ref in the face.

"Yay!" cheered everyone.

A clue fell out of the ref's mouth.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 1st Place

"Make your way to the Surfboard Rental Hut!" read Fox, "Warning! U-Turn Ahead!"

"Teams must now make their way on foot 100 metres across sand to this Surfboard Rental Hut!" said Master Hand. "Here, teams will find their next clue!"
"When teams arrive here, they will be met with a U-Turn, the first of five on the race!" said Master Hand. "A U-Turn comes at the end of every detour, and teams who use their U-Turn power can force another team to complete the other side of the detour that they did not complete!"
"Teams may only use their U-Turn power once, so they must decide when it is most applicable to use their U-Turn!"

"Let's go dude! We don't want to get U-Turned!" said Fox.

Water Slide

Kirby and Pikachu
Wolf and Samus

"Whee!" said Kirby, Pikachu and Samus in a train.

Wolf sighed.

"Come on! Get into it!" cheered Samus childishly, "This is awesome fun!"

They landed into the pool at the bottom of the slide.

"Come on, Wolf!" cheered Samus, "Let's get out!"

"I'm drowning!" screamed Wolf.

"Ice cream!" cheered Samus, Pikachu and Kirby, leaving Wolf behind in the pool.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 2nd Place

"Make your way to the Surfboard Rental Hut!" read Pikachu.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 3rd Place

"Warning! U-Turn ahead!" read Wolf.

Volleyball Court

Marth and Squirtle
Points Won: 0

"Mmph!" grunted Marth, the ball landing in front of him.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Points Won: 0

"And back in the Old South, every Sunday morning Jem and I would go to the ol' church and-"

The ball landed next to Mr. Resetti.

Roy and Zelda
Points Won: 0

Zelda screamed, hitting the ball into the net.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Pants Won: 2

Ganondorf hit the ball into Jigglypuff's face.

"OOPS I think u meant to hit it on the other side jajaja" laughed Jigglypuff.

"I HAET YOU" said Ganondorf, kicking Jigglypuff in the face.

Luigi and Peach
Points Won: 2

"Come on, Peach! We can get ahead if we work together!" said Luigi motivationally. "And then we'll win the million dollars! And then we can open Luigi's Male Lingerie Factory!"

Everyone stared at Luigi.

The Koopa hit a ball into his face.

Everyone applauded.

"Mine!" screamed Peach, stomping her high heels onto Luigi's face, tipping the ball over the net.

They won the point.

"Yay!1" cheered Peach.

"Oh God I'm bleeding!" screamed Luigi.

"I can make it bleed even more!" chuckled Peach.

Peach repeatedly stomped in Luigi's face.

Luigi died.

A police car pulled up next to them.

"Um…" said Peach.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 4th Place

"Make your way to the Surfboard Rental Hut!" read Peach.

Luigi was still dead.

The officers put cuffs on Peach.

"Um…" said Peach.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 1st Place

"Fratt boyys got to the U-Turn!" said Fox.

"We choose not to U-Turn," said Falcon.

Fox grabbed a clue. "Road Block! Who has a good sense of balance?"

"Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete! In this Road Block, that person must master a local beach sport: balance boarding!" said Master Hand.
"That team member must balance on this board standing up, and using this paddle, stroke their way thirty metres through shallow water towards this buoy! Once that team member reaches the buoy, they will be handed their next clue, and will be able to travel back in whatever wet way they like!"
"If a team member falls over, they must run back out and start again!"

"Dude, I'll do it," said Falcon.

"Awesome! Let's get you your judgement enhancing drugs!" laughed Fox, holding up a six-pack of beer.

"Dude… alcohol is for losers," mocked Falcon. "I mean-"

One minute later…

"Chug! Chug! Chug!" said Fox, watching Falcon skull down the beer.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 2nd Place

"We don't U-Turn," said Samus, taking a clue. "Road Block! Who has a good sense of balance?"

"I'll do it," said Samus.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 3rd Place

"You can do it!" said Kirby.

"But- but I'm petrified of water!" whimpered Pikachu.

"You can do it!" laughed Kirby.

"But-"

"Pikachu's doing it!" said Kirby to the camera.

"But-"

Kirby gave Pikachu the board and the paddle.

"But-"

"Look Pikachu," said Kirby, inspirational music playing in the background, "I'm only doing it because you have a fear of water, and you need to overcome this fear! The only way is to confront your fear, and this is the perfect way!"

Kirby smiled. "I believe in you, Pikachu, I believe in you."

"Really?" said Pikachu, smiling. "Thanks, Kir-"

Kirby ran to a taco outlet ten metres away.

Pikachu grunted.

Delfino Plaza

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in Last Place

Toon Link grunted. "I can't believe it took us four hours to get here!"

"You said fore! Where's the ball? Where's the ball?" said King Dedede, ducking.

"That's not funny… in fact… that's not even a pun!" said Toon Link angrily, "It's like the worst play on words I've ever heard!"

King Dedede threw a golf ball at Toon Link's skull from point blank range.

"AAAH!" screamed Toon Link, bleeding.

"Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede.

Toon Link kept on bleeding.

"Detour!" read King Dedede, "Climb a-"

Toon Link bled on the clue.

"Climb a volleyball?" said King Dedede, "Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!"

Toon Link bled on King Dedede's foot.

"Now that son, is just disgusting!" scolded King Dedede.

Toon Link bled to death.

"What do you say for yourself, boy?" said King Dedede angrily.

Volleyball Court

Marth and Squirtle

"We're switching tasks," said Marth, "This is way too hard."

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"We're going to change tasks too," said Wario, "The wait's too long and we'll get the other one done real quick!"

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Points Won: 2

The ball was lobbed over Jigglypuff and Ganondorf's side.

Jigglypuff kicked the ball over the other side, at least several hundred metres into the air.

The ball started to fall down.

And fell.

And fell.

The ball was now very close to the ground.

"OMG look a PLANE" said Ganondorf.

"Haha," mocked a Koopa, "Who do you think we are, idiots?"

A light plane crashed into the other side of the court, seriously wounding the two Koopa players.

The ball landed on the other side of the court.

"YAYAY" said Jigglypuff and Ganondorf.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"Go to the CHOCOLATE factory and meet STEVE JOBS" read Jigglypouff.

"STEVE JOBS I thought he sold the macaintoshes?!" said Ganondorf.

"NOW STEVEN jobs is my very personal friend and I am correct!!!!!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

Climbing Wall

Lucas and Yoshi

"Hurry up, Yoshi! You suck so much at climbing!" said Lucas angrily.

"I've been waiting here for the last ten minutes for you to catch up! That's the only reason you're in front!" said Yoshi angrily.

The camera panned down the wall.

Toon Link and King Dedede

"I think we're in eighth place at the moment," said Toon Link, "We have to keep in front of these two teams to stay in the race."

"Did you say, stay?" said King Dedede, stopping his climb.

"No!" said Toon Link, "Hurry up and climb!"

King Dedede stood still.

Toon Link grunted.

The camera panned down to the bottom of the wall.

Marth and Squirtle

"This is hurting my hands so much," said Squirtle, gripping onto the wall.

"We can do this, honey!" cheered Marth.

Wario and Mr. Resetti

"I'm really fat, do you know if I'll break the wall?" said Wario to the safety guy.

"Probably," he replied.

Volleyball Court

Roy and Zelda
Points Won: 1

"Everyone just left!" said Roy, "We're the only one on the court now, so even though we're not very good, we have unlimited tries."

Surfboard Rental Hut

Pikachu
On Road Block

"Come on, Pikachu!" cheered Kirby, sitting on a beach chair, ordering a cocktail.

"I'm trying!" said Pikachu, nervously paddling through the current.

…

"How did you get those cocktails?" said Pikachu angrily.

"I'm charging them to my room," said Kirby, pointing to a nearby hotel.

"We're not even staying at a hotel!" said Pikachu angrily.

"Shh," said Kirby.

Samus
On Road Block

"Come on, Samus!" cheered Wolf.

"Thanks!" said Samus, unsteadily stroking through the water.

Samus's board flipped over. Samus fell in. A cymbal sound played.

"Come on! Try again!" said Wolf.

Falcon
On Road Block

"Dude! You have to do a lot better than that!" said Fox angrily, applying suntan lotion to some random girls. "You can't even stand on the board without it turning over!"

Falcon fell in the water.

"I've got seawater in my mouth!" cried Falcon.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 4th Place

"I'll do it!" said Luigi, "I was an Olympic gymnast!"

…

"Seriously, stop trying," said Peach.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Dating 12 Days

"WE CHOOSE TO YIELD JIGGLYPUFF AND GANONDORF" said Jigglypuff.

"no we shouldn't do it what if we want to use our U-turns later???!" said Ganondorf.

"good poinT" said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Currently in 5th Place

"I'll do it I'll use MY mad WII FIT skillz" said Ganondorf.

Pikachu
On Road Block

"Slow and steady," said Pikachu, slowly paddling towards the buoy.

Ganondorf
On Road Block

"IF EVERYBODY HAD AN OCEAN…" sang Ganondorf, violently paddling through the water, knocking Falcon and Samus off with his paddle.

Pikachu
On Road Block

"You're almost there…" said Pikachu, paddling slowly.

Ganondorf
On Road Block

"ACROSS THE USA…" sang Ganondorf, clubbing a seal.

Luigi
On Road Block

"Look Peach! No arms!" cheered Luigi.

"I'm not impressed," said Peach.

"I'll lock you up in the basement tonight if you don't start looking interested!" screamed Luigi.

Everyone stared at Luigi.

"Just kidding!" chuckled Luigi madly.

"No you're not!" said Peach angrily.

"I know," sobbed Luigi.

Ganondorf
On Road Block

Ganondorf (singing):THEN EVERYBODY'D BE SURFING

Pikachu
On Road Block

"You're almost there…" said Pikachu, reaching across for the buoy.

Ganondorf
Surfing USA

"LIKE CALIFORNI-A" said Ganondorf.

Pikachu
Finished Road Block

"Got it!" said Pikachu excitedly, grabbing the clue.

Ganondorf
Finished Road Block

Ganondorf kicked Pikachu's board over. "YOU'D SEE THEM WEARING THEIR BAGGIES-"

Pikachu zapped Ganondorf in the face.

"…HUARACHE SANDLES TOO" sung Ganondorf, drowning.

Ganondorf ceased to exist.

"BUSHY BUSHY BLONDE HAIRDOOS" sung Ganondorf.

Kirby and Pikachu
Best Friends

"Come on, Pikachu! Swim back!" shouted Kirby.

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf
Dating 12 Days

"Come on, Gannie! Let's beat these jerks!" said Jigglypuff, pointing to Kirby and Pikachu, "What kind of moron would go on a team with them?"

Luigi
Finished Road Block

"I got it!" said Luigi.

Falcon
Finished Road Block

"Yeah! Me too!" said Falcon uncertainly, quickly swimming to get the clue when the camera was pointed away.

Samus
Finished Road Block

"Done!" cheered Samus, reaching over and grabbing the clue.

Kirby and Pikachu
Currently in 1st Place

"Hurry! Hurry!" screamed Pikachu, ripping open the clue, a shot of Ganondorf getting out of the water appearing in the background.

"Make your way on foot through the marked path across the sand to the pit stop!" read Pikachu.

"Teams must now make their way on foot 120 metre to Cook's Point, a popular five-star beachside resort in the heart of Delfino Plaza!" said Master Hand, "This is the second pit stop in a race around the world! Teams must hurry, as the last team to arrive… …may be eliminated."

"Run!" said Pikachu, jogging across the sand.

Ganondorf and Ganondorf
Currently in 2nd Place

"Hurry Ganondorf!" said Ganondorf.

"I'll give you a piggyback, Ganondorf!" said Ganondorf.

Luigi and Peach
Currently in 3rd Place

"Come on, run!" said Luigi, dragging Peach along.

Fox and Falcon
Currently in 4th Place

"Frat sprinting powers!" screamed Fox, following the mad rush of teams.

Wolf and Samus
Currently in 5th Place

"Let's go!" said Wolf.

Pit Stop

Lots of dramatic camera angles.

Kirby and Pikachu, several metres in front, slowed as they approached the small uphill climb to the pit stop. Trailing behind in a large pack was Jigglypuff, Ganondorf, Fox, Falcon, Luigi, Peach, Wolf and Samus.

"Come on, Pikachu!" said Kirby, taking Pikachu's hand up the sandy ascent.

Luigi made a break, grabbing Peach and bolting out of the pack.

Kirby, struggling to get up the hill, kicked sand into Luigi's face from the back of his heels, causing Luigi to fall over.

Falcon and Fox attempted to valiantly jump over Luigi and Peach, but missed, and both landed on Luigi, breaking his spine.

Kirby got up the top of the hill, the pit stop ten yards in front of him. He turned around, trying to help Pikachu up the sand hill.

Wolf and Samus climbed calmly over the bodies, but Kirby kicked sand into their faces, causing them to fall backwards.

Kirby turned to sprint to the pit stop, but Jigglypuff bit the back of his leg, whose own leg was being bitten by Ganondorf.

"Get off me!" screamed Kirby angrily.

Pikachu scampered across the small patch of grass onto the pit stop.

Ganondorf did a forward flip and landed onto the grassy straight.

Kirby sucker punched Ganondorf in the lip, causing him to fall backwards.

Jigglypuff bit Kirby in the back of the neck.

Kirby fell backwards. Jigglypuff ran onto the mat, got a chair and broke it over Pikachu's back.

"What the hell?" said Pikachu angrily.

"You'll pay!" screamed Ganondorf, "WARLOOCCKKK…"

Kirby side stepped.

"…PUNCH!"

Ganondorf splashed sand into Kirby's eyes.

Ganondorf did a disco dance and walked towards the pit stop.

Kirby grabbed a chair and broke Ganondorf's back with it.

Kirby strolled onto the pit stop.

"Kirby and Pikachu, you are team number one!" said Master Hand.

"Yes!" said Kirby, giving Pikachu a high-five.

"And for winning this leg of the race, you've both won a four wheel motor vehicle!" said Master Hand.

"Isn't that a car?" said Kirby.

"Maybe it's a four-wheel drive!" said Master Hand angrily.

"That's still a car," said Kirby.

"Maybe it's a scooter," said Master Hand angrily.

"That has two wheels," said Kirby.

…

Ganondorf walked onto the pit stop.

"I'M GANONDORF AND I GO TO THE GYM so I'm strong" said Ganondorf.

"Jigglypuff and Ganondorf, you're team number two!" said Master Hand.

"NOMNOMNOM" said Jigglypuff.

"Fox and Falcon, you're team number three!" said Master Hand.

"Awesome," said Fox.

"Wolf and Samus, you're team number four!" said Master Hand.

"Lucky four," said Wolf.

"Luigi and Peach, you're team number five!" said Master Hand.

"THAT SUCKS!" said Luigi angrily. "We could have won!"

"Luigi, this is actually your best result ever!" cheered Peach, "You've actually never placed better than eighth!"

…

"Shut up!" said Luigi angrily.

"So, you guys had some physical altercations before the pit stop," said Master Hand, "Are you teams happy that Kirby and Pikachu won two legs in a row?"

"No," said Luigi angrily.

Kirby and Pikachu
Best Friends

"You know, maybe because we won two legs out of two, we have a big target on the back of our heads," said Kirby.

"But we can't help it that we're awesome," said Pikachu, smiling.

Wolf and Samus
Newly Dating

"Kicking sand into our faces?" said Wolf angrily.

"If we get a chance to use our U-Turn, we'll definitely use it on Kirby and Pikachu," said Wolf.

Luigi and Peach
Dating

"Kirby and Pikachu are meat," said Luigi angrily.

…

Peach waved at the camera.

Climbing Wall

Lucas and Yoshi
Solving Puzzle

"We've been stuck on this puzzle for hours," said Lucas.

"It's rental hut," said Yoshi.

"Obviously I'm doing a lot better at solving the puzzle than Yoshi," said Lucas.

"It's rental hut," said Yoshi, solving the puzzle.

"He's got a mental handicap…"

"It's rental hut," said Yoshi.

"…and he's an inferior, unintelligent person compared to me…"

"It's rental hut!" said Yoshi angrily.

"I've got it! It's rental hut!" cheered Lucas. "I'm so smart!"

Yoshi dragged Lucas to the arbiter.

"I'm so smart!" cheered Lucas.

Marth and Squirtle
Climbing Wall

"Let's have a pedicure break!" said Marth.

"Oh my gosh! Yes!" said Squirtle.

Marth and Squirtle
Gay

"As the only gay couple on the race," said Marth, "We look to break any stereotypes about gay people. That we're hopeless, that we're weak, that we're-"

"Stop the tape!" said Squirtle dramatically, "I broke a nail! I broke a nail!"

Marth and Squirtle
Climbing a Wall

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Marth, applying makeup to Squirtle.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Squirtle, applying makeup to Marth.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Marth, applying makeup to Squirtle.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Squirtle, applying makeup to Marth.

"SOME PEOPLE ARE BELOW YOU!" screamed Wario angrily.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Marth, applying makeup to Squirtle.

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Squirtle, applying makeup to Marth.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Climbing a Wall

"Oh, you're so beautiful," said Mr. Resetti.

Wario stared at Mr. Resetti.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Climbing a Wall

"Climbing a wall…" muttered Toon Link.

"Toon Link's gonna fall," sung King Dedede, putting a knife next to Toon Link's rope ladder.

Volleyball Court

Roy and Zelda
Points Won: 2

"Rooy!" said Zelda, "There's sand on my hands!"

"Zel, we're on a beach!" laughed Roy.

"Rooy!" said Zelda angrily, "We've been here for an hour!"

"And we're almost done! Come on!" said Roy.

"Okay!" said Zelda, "I'll do it for you!"

Zelda
Interview after leg

"You know, I'm starting to get to know Roy not for his money," said Zelda, "And he's actually a really nice money guy."

"…a really nice money guy?" said Master Hand.

"Haha, oops," laughed Zelda, "He's a great money."

…

"Great guy!" said Zelda angrily.

Water Slide

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"This is so fun!" cheered Yoshi, going down the slide.

"This is so boring," said Lucas angrily.

They landed in the water.

"I wanna go again! I wanna go again!" cried Lucas.

Climbing Tower

Marth and Squirtle
Solving Puzzle

"Hut?" said Squirtle, jotting down on a piece of paper.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Solving Puzzle

"Can you stop being an old guy talking about his life and solve the freaking puzzle?" said Wario angrily.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Solving Puzzle
"If we lose because you took two extra hours to get to this frickin' place, I'm going to kill you," said Toon Link angrily.

"Aww, how sweet," said King Dedede, hugging Toon Link.

"Let go of me!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!" laughed King Dedede, his penguin flab choking Toon Link.

Volleyball Court

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 7th Place

"Warning! U-Turn ahead!" read Roy.

"Oh no, I hope no-one U-Turns us," said Zelda. "I want to stay in!"

Surfboard Rental Hut

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"We're not in last place right now, I'm sure," said Lucas, "But we need to U-Turn someone behind us to stay in…"

"I can't even remember who was with us," said Yoshi, "Should we use our U-Turn?"

"Look at the next task," said Lucas, "None of us can swim, we have to use our U-Turn."

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 7th Place

"Oh no! Oh no!" said Zelda, pointing to the board in the distance.

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 6th Place

"Okay, we're going to really suck at that task, whatever it is," said Yoshi, "So you're right, we should U-Turn."

"Hey! That's a team!" said Lucas, pointing in the distance. "U-Turn them!"

"You sure?" said Yoshi.

"Come on!" said Lucas angrily, taking the sheet out of the U-Turn box.

Roy and Zelda

"Somebody's U-Turning us!" cried Zelda.

Lucas and Yoshi
Using U-Turn

"We choose to U-Turn Roy and Zelda!" said Lucas.

"Okay!" said Yoshi, pasting their photo on the board.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 7th Place

They ran up to the sign.

"I can't believe it!" cried Zelda.

"Oh no!" said Roy.

"I hate this! I hate this!" cried Zelda.

Dramatic pre ad-break music played.

Advertisement

"Have too much hair?" said King Dedede. "Try my super hair removal system for only 999 dollars!"

A picture of a hairy guy appeared on the screen.

"Look cool! Look sexy! Look hairless!" said King Dedede.

"Thank you King Dedede!" said some random guy.

"Get the girls, like me!" said King Dedede.

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin.

"For only 999 dollars! Order today!" said King Dedede.

A clip of King Dedede drunkenly escorting several ladies appeared on the screen.

"It's not just a razor!" said King Dedede. "It's a King Dedede-razor! Which means we needed to inflate the price by 979 dollars!"

A picture of a shaving man appeared on screen.

"No longer will you be hairy! In fact, you'll be completely bald!" said King Dedede. "I'll shave your head off!"

A picture of a screaming guy appeared on the screen.

"Literally!" said King Dedede, holding up a disembodied head. "And it's free!"

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin.

"For only 999 dollars! Order today!" said King Dedede.

"Thank you King Dedede!" said some random guy.

"Buying this product is a felony in only 46 states!" said King Dedede.

A picture of the morgue appeared.

"But not Arkansas!" said King Dedede.

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin.

"For only 999 dollars! Order today!" said King Dedede.

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin.

"Stop showing this clip or they won't buy the product!" said King Dedede.

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin.

"For only 999 dollars! Order today!" said King Dedede.

"AAAH!" screamed a woman, being inhaled by the penguin

The Smashy Amazing Race

Roy and Zelda
U-Turned

"Come on, Zel! We can still do this! We'll show them that we're not a weak team!" said a sad Roy.

"Okay!" sobbed Zelda, running back.

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 7th Place

"Road Block!" said Lucas, "I'll do it!"

Climbing Wall

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Solving Puzzle

"It's getting dark, and we can't find all of the letters," said Wario, pointing to the sunset.

Marth and Squirtle
Solving Puzzle

"Now we have to unscramble the words!" said Squirtle, "It's like a puzzle!"

"Oh! I love puzzles!" said Marth, "I do the Sudoku every morning!"

Marth stared at the piece of paper. "Where are the numbers?"

"Honey, this isn't a sudoku," said Squirtle.

"OMG!" chuckled Marth, "I didn't mean to be OTP, and IANAL, but IAC, I had no idea that wasn't a sudoku!"

"YCMU!" laughed Squirtle, "AAF, AAR you'll be confusing the ADMINR to the AOM!"

Toon Link and King Dedede
Solving Puzzle

"I got all the letters!" said Toon Link excitedly, "But now we have to unscramble them!"

"Gee! That's gonna be a bit hard, the yolk's already mushed up!" chuckled King Dedede, holding up a pan.

…

Toon Link grunted.

Roy and Zelda
U-Turned

"Come on, Zel! We can still do this!" said Roy. "There's still teams up there!"

"I really hope so!" said Zelda anxiously, running towards the wall in the dark.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Lucas
5th Attempt

Lucas clumsily paddled through the water.

Lucas fell into the water.

"You suck at this!" said Yoshi angrily.

"I'm trying really hard! You're such an unsupportive dad!" said Lucas angrily.

Climbing Wall

Toon Link and King Dedede
Solving Puzzle

"I think I got it!" said Toon Link.

"Let's go then!" said King Dedede, running over to the arbiter.

Marth and Squirtle
Solving Puzzle

"I think we got it!" said Marth excitedly.

"Let's go! Let's go!" cheered Squirtle.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Solving Puzzle

"They all solved it and we didn't because you're not helping!" said Wario angrily.

Mr. Resetti was lying on the ground because he had a seizure.

Water Slide

Toon Link and King Dedede
Finished Detour

"Oh my gosh!" said Toon Link excitedly, "I've never been on a water slide before!"

King Dedede ate Toon Link.

"Don't worry! You won't have to!" laughed King Dedede. "Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk!"

Toon Link grunted.

Marth and Squirtle
Finished Detour

"This is so close…" said Marth, taking the clue. "There's only one team behind us!"

Climbing Wall

Roy and Zelda
On Wall

"We're doing good, Zel!" said Roy, climbing up the rope ladder.

Water Slide

Toon Link and King Dedede
On Water Slide

"Wheee!" cheered Toon Link and King Dedede at the same time.

Marth and Squirtle
On Water Slide

"This is so awesome!" cheered Marth, the water splashing onto his shirt.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Lucas
9th Attempt

Lucas fell over.

Climbing Wall

Roy and Zelda
On Wall

"I hear someone up the top! You're doing great!" cheered Roy, scaling the wall in pitch black.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Solving Puzzle

"Come on Wario, think! Think!" said Wario.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 7th Place

"Make your way to the Surfboard Rental Hut!" read Toon Link.

Marth and Squirtle
Currently in 8th Place

"Warning! U-Turn ahead!" said Marth.

Roy and Zelda
On Wall

"I don't want to get eliminated…" said Zelda, slowly ascending the wall.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Solving Puzzle

"Rental hut!" said Wario angrily. "Rental hut!"

Wario ran up to the arbiter and took the clue.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Lucas
18th Attempt

"It's so dark!" cried Lucas, the water barely lit, "I can't do this!"

"Just do it slowly!" said Yoshi angrily.

Toon Link and King Dedede
Currently in 7th Place

"Road Block!" said King Dedede.

"I'll do it," said Toon Link.

Marth and Squirtle
Currently in 8th Place

"I'll do it, hun," said Marth.

Water Slide

Wario and Mr. Resetti
On Water Slide

"Whee!" said Wario.

"And back in the 1920's, the crab meat was called-"

"Shut up!" said Wario angrily.

Climbing Wall

Roy and Zelda
On Wall

"We're almost there!" said Roy inspirationally, "Come on, honey!"

"We have to try," said Zelda, sobbing.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Lucas
27th Attempt

"It is complete dark," said Lucas to the camera, standing on the shore of the beach, "The water is freezing cold, and I'm not sure if we're going to be allowed out here."

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Currently in 9th Place

"I'll do it," said Wario.

Lucas
28th Attempt

"The pressure's on now!" said Lucas, standing on his board and taking his paddle.

Toon Link
1st Attempt

"You do realised no-one's going to believe this?" said Toon Link angrily, pretending to paddle as King Dedede walked through the water, holding him up.

Wario
1st Attempt

"Damn it!" said Wario angrily, his weight pushing the board underwater.

Toon Link
1st Attempt

"Come on, Toon Link!" cheered King Dedede, "Go faster!"

"I'm trying!" said Toon Link angrily.

"Haha! Come on! Go faster!" said King Dedede, throwing Waddle Dees, baseball bats and Gordos at Toon Link.

"AAAAH!" screamed Toon Link, a Gordo piercing his back.

Marth
1st Attempt

"Aah!" screamed Marth, falling over backwards.

Toon Link
Finished Road Block

"Got it!" said Toon Link, reaching over for the buoy and taking the clue.

Lucas
35th Attempt

"Damn it!" said Lucas angrily, falling over.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in Last Place

"Make your way to the Surfboard Rental Hut! Warning! U-Turn ahead!" said Zelda angrily.

Wario
2nd Attempt

"GAAAH!" screamed Wario, drowning.

Roy and Zelda

"I see other teams!" screamed Zelda, running towards the clue box.

Marth
3rd Attempt

"AAAH!" screamed Marth, falling into the water. "My sword is wet!"

"Both of your swords are wet!" said Squirtle.
They giggled.

Pit Stop

Toon Link and King Dedede jogged onto the mat.

"Toon Link and King Dedede, you're team number six!" said Master Hand.

"That's alright," said Toon Link.

"Why are you feeling disappointed?" said Master Hand.

"Maybe if my team mate didn't slow us down three hours we might have come first!" said Toon Link angrily.

Surfboard Rental Hut

Roy and Zelda
Currently in Last Place

"Road Block!" read Roy.

"I'll do it!" said Zelda.

Lucas
38th Attempt

"I can't do this!" sobbed Lucas.

"Try using the paddle!" said Yoshi angrily.

"You mean it wasn't for show?" screamed Lucas angrily.

Wario
8th Attempt

"GAAAH!" screamed Wario, still drowning.

Zelda
1st Attempt

"This is really hard!" said Zelda clumsily, wobbling the board as she skimmed through the water.

Lucas
41st Attempt

"Paddling… paddling…" said Lucas, slowly paddling towards the buoy.

Zelda
5th Attempt

"Aaah!" screamed Zelda, falling backwards.

Lucas
Finished Road Block

"I got it!" cried Lucas, "I got it!"

"Now swim back!" said Yoshi angrily.

"That wasn't part of the clue! I refuse!" said Lucas angrily, remaining motionless.

Wario
14th Attempt

"Mr. Resetti! Can I have some inspiration?" sobbed Wario.

"An old farmer used to say," said Mr. Resetti, "Mr. Resetti! You're the best boy at spelling and maths in the village!"

"That doesn't help!" screamed Wario, drowning.

Marth
7th Attempt

"I should have taken off my coat before doing this task! I'm so wet!" said Marth, taking off your clothes.

"Don't take off too much!" giggled Squirtle, "That might be illegal!"

Lucas
Finished Road Block

"Hurry, Lucas!" said Yoshi angrily. "Or we'll freaking come last!"

"Or you'll come freaking last!" said Lucas angrily.

"You too!" said Yoshi angrily.

Zelda
6th Attempt

"I can't do it!" sobbed Zelda, hugging Roy.

"Zelda!" said Roy inspirationally, "I know you can do it! Just stand on the board as high as you can, balance and ride the waves towards the buoy!"

"Okay!" said Zelda cheerfully. "I believe in myself!"

Zelda broke her ankle on a crab.

"ROOY!" screamed Zelda.

Lucas
Finished Road Block

"Don't make me come and get you!" said Yoshi angrily.

"Not if I drown first!" said Lucas angrily.

Lucas dived underwater.

…

"That's pretty funny, Lucas," said Yoshi.

…

"LUCAS?" screamed Yoshi.

Wario
17th Attempt

"You know!" said Mr. Resetti, Wario being eaten by crabs in the distance, "My ol' grandpa used to say to me, Mr. Resetti! Go fetch me some firewood! Too bad we were living in the Sahara desert! There was no wood in sight! Luckily, when we moved to Mount Everest it was like there was air conditioning there 24/7! Too bad everyone died from frostbite."

"AAAAH!" screamed Wario, being eaten alive.

Marth
11th Attempt

"This might be it for us," said Marth, sitting in the water, "It's too dark, it's too cold and I can't do this!"

"It's okay, honey!" said Squirtle, "Try your best! We're just having fun!"

Zelda
9th Attempt

"Come on, Zelda!" said Roy, walking alongside the water with Zelda. "You can do this!"

"I'm doing it!" said Zelda, clumsily paddling through the water in the dark.

Lucas
Finished Road Block

"Come on!" screamed Yoshi angrily, grabbing Lucas.

"I'm staying!" said Lucas angrily.

"WHY?" said Yoshi angrily.

Zelda
Finished Road Block

"You did it!" cheered Roy, Zelda grabbing the clue.

Lucas
Finished Road Block

"You're such a lousy friend!" said Lucas angrily. "Why should I help you win the race?"

"Because we're best friends!" said Yoshi cheerfully.

"Really?" said Lucas.

"Yes, Lucas!" said Yoshi, teary-eyed.

"Oh! Yoshi!" said Lucas, hugging Yoshi. "I'm not going to hire a contract killer now!"

"Uh… how nice of you Lucas…" said Yoshi nervously.

Wario
29th Attempt

"Oh god! My legs! My legs!" screamed Wario, his entire lower body being consumed by crabs, small rodents and Mr. Resetti.

"Why! I haven't eaten such great crab meat since the great Crab Fire of '57!" said Mr. Resetti, chuckling.

"YOU'RE EATING ME!" screamed Wario angrily.

Marth
15th Attempt

"I'm hating this so much!" sobbed Marth.

"You wanna quit, honey?" said Squirtle.

"It's so cold and wet! I don't want to do this!" sobbed Marth.

"Okay! Honey! I'm here!" said Squirtle, hugging Marth.

Marth and Squirtle
Quit Road Block

"Make your way on foot," said Marth, towels clutched around his body.

Roy and Zelda
Currently in 8th Place

"…on foot through the marked path…" read Roy.

Lucas and Yoshi
Currently in 9th Place

"…across the sand to the pit stop!" read Lucas.

Wario
89th Attempt

"AAAH!" screamed Wario's upper body, paddling on the board to escape from the rodents and Mr. Resetti, bleeding.

Roy and Zelda

"Come on! Let's beat those meanies who U-Turned us!" said Zelda, running through the sand behind Roy.

Lucas and Yoshi

"Hurry!" said Yoshi, dragging Lucas along.

"I'm so tired! I was out there for hours!" moaned Lucas.

Roy and Zelda

"AAaH!" screamed Zelda, falling on the sand, "Ankle cramp!"

Pit Stop

Marth and Squirtle

"Marth and Squirtle, you are the seventh team to arrive," said Master Hand. "However, you chose to quit the Road Block, so you will incur a four-hour penalty."

Marth and Squirtle
Time Remaining: 3:59

"It's okay, honey," said Squirtle, hugging Marth, "This race isn't our thing anyway!"

Wario
95th Attempt

"Oh God!" screamed Wario, his legs having magically re-appeared, small rodents, piranhas and Mr. Resetti nibbling on his legs as he paddled along.

Roy and Zelda

"Come on, honey! There's twenty more metres!" said Roy, pointing to the pit stop.

"ROOY!" moaned Zelda.

"But-"

"ROOY!" moaned Zelda.

Lucas and Yoshi

"I'm so exhausted!" said Lucas, panting.

"The pit stop is right there!" said Yoshi angrily.

"I can't do it!" screamed Lucas.

Wario and Mr. Resetti
Currently in Last Place

"Make your way on foot…" read Wario.

Mr. Resetti was still nibbling on Wario's leg.

"Stop eating me!" screamed Wario angrily.

Pit Stop

Marth and Squirtle
Time Remaining: 3:24

"The most demoralising thing is that it's taking them more than half an hour to walk a hundred metres," said Marth, sipping on a cocktail, sitting on the beach.

Wario and Mr. Resetti

Wario and Mr. Resetti strolled past a moaning Zelda and Lucas and walked onto the mat.

"Wario and Mr. Resetti, you're team number seven!" said Master Hand.

"This is so freaking stupid!" said Wario angrily. "We should be in last place, damnit! I can't stand this freaking guy! This whole race is so freaking stupid!"

Marth and Squirtle

Dramatic music played.

"Oh my gosh, Squirtle! This is so close!" said Marth.

"We still have thre-"

The camera cut away conveniently to hold the suspense.

Roy and Zelda

"I can see the pit stop!" said Roy excitedly. "Sprint! Sprint!"

"I BROKE MY ANKLE!" screamed Zelda, lying on the ground.

Lucas and Yoshi

"I don't want to get eliminated!" moaned Lucas.

"Then freaking get up and walk to the pit stop! It's ten metres away!" said Yoshi angrily.

Pit Stop

Lots of dramatic camera angles.

Lucas and Yoshi walked onto the mat.

Lots of dramatic camera angles.

Roy and Zelda walked onto the mat.

"WHAT an exciting footrace!" screamed Master Hand. "Who knew it would be so close?"

"We had a four hour penalty," said Squirtle angrily.

"Who knew it could have been so close?!" screamed Master Hand.

"Why didn't you do that when there actually was a footrace before?" said the cameraman angrily.

…

Lucas and Yoshi
Arrived 8th

"Lucas and Yoshi, you're team number eight!" said Master Hand. "Wow! How exciting is it that you're still in the amazing, Amazing Race!"

…

"Can we sleep now?" said Lucas.

Zelda and Roy
Arrived 9th

"Zelda and Roy, you're team number nine!" said Master Hand.

Zelda stared at Master Hand.

Marth and Squirtle

"Marth and Squirtle…" said Master Hand.

"Yes?" said Marth angrily.

"…after such a…" said Master Hand dramatically, "…dramatic footrace…"

"We had three hours left! It was not close!" said Marth angrily.

"I'm sorry but… you are…" said Master Hand.

Marth and Squirtle grabbed their bags, and walked off towards a taxi.

"…the last team to arrive…" said Master Hand.

The taxi left.

"…and…" said Master Hand dramatically.

Zelda, Roy, Lucas and Yoshi left.

"…I'm sorry to tell you…"

A Koopa turned off the floodlights.
"…you have been…"

The cameraman turned off the camera.

Finish Times:

Kirby and Pikachu: 5:44 PM

Jigglypuff and Ganondorf: 5:44 PM

Fox and Falcon: 5:45 PM

Wolf and Samus: 5:46 PM

Luigi and Peach: 5:46 PM

Toon Link and King Dedede: 9:22 PM

Wario and Mr. Resetti: 10:15 PM

Lucas and Yoshi: 10:23 PM

Roy and Zelda: 10:23 PM

Marth and Squirtle: Quit and Eliminated

Thanks for supporting the new season everyone! Review, and vote in my profile poll!