You want to know what I'm hiding behind my back? Ok then. Flowers. And heart shaped cookies. For all of you. Because I've been overwhelmed (overwhelmed!) by your amazingly generous reviews and it's my way of thanking you. So please, don't be shy, grab one!

Ok so this chapter my darlings features a flashback. You know, when a fight keeps getting bigger and bigger and in the end, you end up saying things you don't even really mean? Well, it's about that. Brace your fragile hearts, it's on the angsty side.

"Mommy, Gordon invited me to his birthday party! Do you think I could go?"

Brittany playfully rolls her eyes at her son's insistence, tightening the hold she has on his small hand, quickly checking left than right as they cross the street.

"Please, mommy, please?"

She makes a bit of arithmetic in her head, coming to the conclusion that her month's budget can surely be squeezed a bit for her to buy Gordon- Oliver's best friend- a nice gift. "Of course honey, you can go."

Oliver jumps a little, a big grin now plastered on his face.

"It's gonna be so much fun!"

Brittany smiles as her son starts talking about all the candies he's going to have, thinking to herself that the big purple bag full of dirty clothes she has been carrying for the past fifteen minutes seems to be getting heavier with each passing week. Or maybe she's just getting older.

Oliver's already starting to show signs of tiredness, dragging his feet on the damp sidewalk, and Brittany's glad when the Laundromat finally comes into view.

"Come on big baby, we're here!"

He huffs, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "I'm not a baby, mommy."

She drops a kiss on the top of his head, opening the door for the blonde little boy before following him inside.

"I know, I know. You're growing way too fast for my liking."

It's a Friday night and as she expected it, the place is not overly crowded as it can sometimes be. A girl with blue hair and big earphones is sitting on a washing machine, reading a book, whilst a man is folding his own clothes three machines away. It's quiet and Brittany's grateful it is; she has had an exhausting week.

She drops her bag on one of the orange plastic chairs in the middle of the room, taking Oliver's coat off and then her own. Her hair's up in a messy ponytail, a pair of old skinny jeans and a baggy black t-shirt completing what Juliet likes to call her "casual single mom" look. She doesn't really know if her friend means that as a compliment but she sighs as she catches her reflection in one of the windows, aware that casual or not, the dark circles under her eyes can't really be missed.

"Mommy, did you bring my crayons?"

She turns towards her son, nodding with a small smile. "Of course I did, who do you take me for?"

He giggles and like always, she feels like hugging him and peppering his face with kisses. Opening her purse, she pulls out a few crayons and a coloring book, handing them to Oliver who's already sitting cross-legged on a plastic chair. "There you go sweetie."

"Do you want me to draw something for you?"

Brittany taps her chin with her finger, acting as if she's deep in thoughts. "Humm... I don't know... A unicorn maybe?"

"Ok, I will! Unicorns are so pretty." He mumbles, grabbing the yellow crayon.

Now that Oliver's settled, Brittany grabs the bag of clothes and her soap, heading towards the nearest machine.

She has a day off tomorrow and she would like to do something special for her son; maybe she'll get him a new Transformer or that ice cream with sparkles he loves so much. The only thing she wants to do is make him feel like she hasn't forgotten him- she knows she has been away working for most of the last weeks and even though she feels like her son understands much more than he lets on about their precarious situation, she doesn't want him to get the feeling he's not like the other kids. He deserves to be one.

"Mommy, do you think unicorns have purple or blue tails?"

Brittany chuckles to herself, remembering how she used to love unicorns when she was his age. And, well, maybe in high school as well. "They're definitely blue Oli."

"Good. I thought so too."

She hums in approval, watching the cars pass by outside as she absentmindedly make sure there aren't anything left in the pants' pockets, throwing them in the machine afterwards. Her fingers close around a crumpled piece of paper and she nearly tosses it aside before realizing that something is scribbled on it.

The handwriting her eyes land on brings her back to countless nights spent studying, sharing secret kisses and touches and just like that, something deeps within her stomach flutters a bit.

Staring at the phone number Santana gave her a few days ago she bites her bottom lip, wondering if the other woman is really expecting for her to call.

Brittany keeps the paper in her hand as she starts the machine, walking back towards her son to sit next to him before taking the magazine she has brought, knowing perfectly well that she's not going to read any of it.

She stares at the paper, finger tracing the name she has both loved as well as hated along the years- love has tended to win much more often though, if she's honest with herself.

She throws it to the floor after a few moments, perfectly aware she's not ready to allow Santana back into her life now when they parted years ago in such a painfully definitive way.

Brittany lets her hair down, frowning to her reflection in her bedroom's mirror.

"They looked good the fifty first times Britt. Just saying." Tina chips in from where she's sitting on the floor, carefully painting her toe nails. "Let them lose, I always say how good it looks on you."

The blonde gives an uncertain look to Tina over her shoulder, "You think so?"

Tina nods, smiling mischievously."Yup. And I know Santana does too."

Brittany hates herself for blushing. Because even though she has made sure the rest of the world thinks she has moved on, Tina knows best. Since the Asian girl found her crying alone in the choir room nine months ago, the two of them have grown closer.

"It's not like that..." Brittany trails off, knowing any attempts at denying what she was doing is actually futile. "Everyone's going to be reunited then?" She asks after a pause, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Tina plays along, fortunately. "Apart from Sam. He's visiting his grandparents or something. That's what Artie told me anyway."

The blonde grins, finally deciding on wearing her hair down. She succeeds in making herself believe it has nothing to do with the fact that Santana is supposed to be there tonight as well. "Awesome! We're all going to be a big family again."

"Can you believe that Quinn is going to study in England though? Christ, the farthest I've been to is New York."

Brittany shrugs, scooping up Lord Tubbington in her arms as she sits on her bed. "I can believe it. I always knew Quinn would shine as bright as a star. In Lima or somewhere else."

The other girl narrows her eyes, not still quite used to Brittany's particular way of thinking. "We should get going B."

She nuzzles her cat's fur, letting him go with a smile. "Ok, good. Let's go."

They park outside Quinn's parents' house fifteen minutes later, Brittany's heart definitely beating faster than usual.

She hasn't seen Santana since the brunette sang to her, telling her they should do the mature thing. She knows Santana has been to Lima several times after that, mostly visiting her parents for important holidays but she has never dared to call her.

She was so mad at Santana for a while. So mad that the girl she had been so faithfully in love with since the beginning of high school had decided to leave her behind.

Ironically- or is it really, Brittany's not sure- she has been missing Santana. A lot. She never thought you could miss so many little things about a single person and not want to spontaneously combust with the longing and sadness she feels herself overflowed with.

She doesn't know how to deal with all of that- she has been feeling so lost since last September, it's a wonder she managed to finally graduate at all.

She's pulled out of her thoughts by Tina tapping on her shoulder, looking concerned. "Brittany, are you ok?"

Brittany shakes her head, forcing herself to smile widely. "I am. Now let's get this night started."

They grab the cupcakes they made together in the afternoon, their contribution to Quinn's going-away party.

As they make their way towards the front door, Brittany takes a side look at Tina's cupcakes with a hint of pity, comparing the other girl's boring ones with her sparkly and colorful own.

When they arrive in front of the door, the blonde finds herself back to that place where her heart beats fast and her hands get all clammy and she tries to take a deep breath, quickly smoothing down her cute blue sundress, willing herself to believe that she can do this.

She can face Santana and pretend she's doing great without her.

When she focuses back, she hasn't realized Tina has already ringed the bell and when the door opens, she's immediately engulfed in a hug, the person responsible for it letting out a tiny scream.

"Brittany, it's so wonderful to see you again!"

She smiles, hugging Rachel back even though the plate of cupcakes she's still holding is making it a bit awkward.

"It's good to see you too Rachel." The smaller girl steps away and Brittany's eyes widen when she sees how different Rachel looks from when she was at McKinley. "Wow, you look great! I totally dig that skirt."

Rachel looks away, playing modest. "Well, thank you. I have to admit that Manhattan's delightful frenzy has almost forced me to adopt a new style in order to fit in with all the-"

"Oh, shut up for two minutes will you." A voice says behind Rachel, Quinn emerging from inside the house with a smirk. The brunette crosses her arms with a pout, mumbling something about freedom of expression.

Brittany grins even wider when the girl she has considered one of her best friends for years drops two kisses on her cheeks, smiling as bright as she is.

"I'm so glad you could make it."

"I live just around the corner, silly. Of course I was going to make it."

Quinn takes the plate of cupcakes from her hands, motioning for Tina and her to get inside. "Regardless, I'm still happy."

"So, England, uh?" Tina asks, following Rachel and Quinn in the kitchen as Brittany stays behind, hearing voices coming from the living room.

She wonders if Santana has already arrived.

The first people she meets are Mike, Mercedes and Artie, all talking animatedly about the twins Mr. Schuester and Emma are due to have in three months.

"Brittany, my girl!" Artie shouts, pumping his fist in the air. She giggles because really, who does Artie thinks he's fooling with all his ghetto talk, she'll never know.

She hugs the three of them, even though she has kept in touch with Mike and Mercedes since they've left Lima and, well, Artie never even left in the first place.

They settle back easily into their usual banter, Mike enthusiastically talking to Brittany about the dance program he's attending.

It's not after another ten minutes that the doorbell rings again, immediately followed by a howl.

"The Puckasaurus is here bitches!"

When Puck appears in the living room, Mohawk shaved and smiling like a mad man, Brittany chuckles; she never thought she could have actually missed the boy she spent so many nights secretly hating for taking Santana away from her.

He high fives with the boys before his attention turns towards Brittany with a toothy grin. "And here's the craziest chick I know. Come here!"

Brittany rolls her eyes with a smile, squealing when Puck unexpectedly lifts her up in the air before twirling her around the room.

"Puck, what are you doing?", she asks through a fit of giggles, gripping his shoulders. The room is spinning and Brittany closes her eyes, conscious of everybody's laughter surrounding them. When she opens them again, she meets brown ones, heart instantly leaping to her throat. Santana's there, staring at her from the living room's doorway and she knows the sudden dizziness she's experiencing is not only from the spinning, "Puck, let me down."

Puck must sense the change of tone because he immediately does, Brittany glad that Mercedes has noticed Santana, everyone gathering around the brunette to greet her.

The blonde gets out of the living room, pretending she has something to check in the kitchen.

The night goes by pretty smoothly after that, Brittany's eyes meeting Santana's from across the room from time to time.

Quinn makes a small speech about how she's happy they're all reunited before she leaves for England. They all shed a few tears when Quinn announces that for now, she only bought a one-way ticket but she reassures them when she mentions she'll try to come back for at least Christmas.

Brittany's drinking much more than she should and by the end of the night, she's loudly singing with Blaine and Rachel, ignoring for a moment how Santana keeps staring at her and how it makes the breath catch in her throat.

An hour later, everyone has fallen asleep, scattered all around the living room.

Brittany, on the other hand, can't seem to be able to fall into a blissful oblivion like her friends did.

Too many thoughts are flying in her head and as hard as she tries to concentrate, to think of something else, they all bring her back to that one thing.

Santana.

The brunette is currently sleeping on a couch right in front of Brittany, curled up in a way that makes the blonde want to scoop her up in her arms, bring her into a proper bed and cuddle like they used to- Brittany the big spoon, burying her face into the other girl's hair and Santana the small one, intertwining their fingers across her stomach.

The memories are so vivid and they make her so hopeless that Brittany has to take her umpteenth deep breath of the night, carefully moving Quinn's head away from her shoulder as she gets up from the couch she was sitting on.

She wanders aimlessly in the dark house for a bit, loving how the moon keeps unexpectedly seeping through the closed curtains.

That's how she usually deals with things- she has to move, do something with her body. And right now, she can't really dance so she settles for the next best thing: walking.

Brittany makes her way upstairs, careful to avoid the beer bottles on the floor and wondering why things got so complicated. She just wants her Santana back. She wants them back.

She enters the bathroom, blinking a bit when she turns the lights on.

Splashing water on her face makes her feel calmer and she blindly grabs a towel, not really caring about her make-up at the moment.

Brittany hears the door click shut behind her and she quickly turns around, heart fluttering when she finds Santana standing a few feet away from her, concern and questions written all over her face.

"Hi."

Brittany swallows, immediately immersed by the heavy tension lingering between Santana and her. It feels like the bathroom has just shrunk to the size of a shoebox.

"Hi."

They stay in silence after that, Santana nervously playing with the bracelet on her wrist, Brittany staring at her own feet.

"How have you been?"

Brittany doesn't answer, choosing instead to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, gaze stubbornly fixed on her shoes.

"Why can't you look at me, Britt?" Santana's voice is small, vulnerable in a way Brittany has never heard before.

She looks up, unable to resist this pull Santana always had on her.

"I don't know San...", she whispers, frowning, "I've just been missing you so much and now... now, everything hurts and it makes me so confused." She didn't intend to mention how much she was missing her as her first words to Santana in nine months but she guesses she's going to have to go with it now that's out in the open.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Why didn't you?"

Santana seems surprised to have the question thrown back at her in such a defensive tone. She thinks for a moment, running a hand through her hair "I-After that day in the choir room, when I told you about doing the mature thing..."

Brittany nods in encouragement, unconsciously taking a few steps towards the brunette. She wants so badly to get an explanation as to why Santana did what she did and she won't let go when she's about to get it, even if it's months later.

Santana bites her bottom lip, exhaling deeply. "I felt so ashamed Britt... For acting like that... I don't even know why I said all those things. And after having figured all my shit out, I didn't know if you'd still... want me back... That's why I didn't call."

Brittany feels like slapping Santana for thinking that she would ever not want her but that thought is quickly erased by the millions of butterflies that have been set free from the confines of her stomach.

It doesn't matter how mad Brittany had been or how much she had wanted to confront Santana because in that moment, the girl she loves is looking at her in such a way that she finally feels like herself for the first time in months.

"I really, fucking missed you too Britt..."

They stare at each other for a little while, Brittany's eyes unconsciously drifting towards Santana's plump, red lips.

And then, with almost perfect timing- as far as Brittany can remember, Santana and her have always been connected somehow- they both close the remaining space between them, lips meeting in a desperate kiss.

It feels so blissfully good that the blonde has to shut her eyes tight, letting out a breath through her nose as Santana pushes her against the bathroom's counter.

The brunette is kissing her forcefully, hands fiercely gripping at her hips as Brittany's hands instinctually move up to cup the back of Santana's neck.

"I'm so sorry Britt..." Santana whispers against her lips and she barely understands the words, lost in a haze that has been missing from her life for too long now. "I'm so, so sorry..."

Brittany shakes her head, hungrily moving her lips to Santana's mouth watering neck. The skin there is soft and warm and God she feels like she's about to burst out.

Santana moans when the blonde flips them around, lifting her up so that she's now sitting on the counter, legs wrapping around Brittany's waist.

"Britt, let's forget what I said, ok? Let's pretend I never said anything...Oh, fuck..." Santana's raspy plea makes Brittany bite down on tan skin, quickly licking it away. She has no idea what she's doing- she only knows that she wants more.

"I didn't mean what I said...Shit, yes, Britt...", she whimpers the last words out when the other girl nibbles at her earlobe, just the way she likes it, "let's forget everything, ok?"

Santana's trembling under her fingers and for the first time since they've started kissing, Brittany realizes that this wasn't what she had in mind. They were supposed to talk, to figure things out.

So she reluctantly steps away, tucking a strand of messy hair behind her ear, watching as Santana looks up, confused.

Her cheeks are flushed, lips even redder than before and Brittany thinks to herself that no one could ever be as gorgeous as Santana Lopez, no matter how hard they'd try. In the blonde's opinion, Santana is always effortlessly beautiful.

"Why did you stop?"

Brittany sighs. "We need to talk, San. You know I love our sweet lady kisses, you know I do, but right now, we need to talk."

The brunette frowns a bit. "Ok..."`

A heavy silence settles between them and before she can realize her mouth has even opened, Brittany blurts out the words that have been haunting her for months, "I hooked up with Sam." The words are raw, harsh, and Brittany wishes she could have find another way to let it all out. Then again, she has never really been good with words.

Santana's eyes widen, mouth opening before she closes it. "W-what?"

"San, I-"

"Why would you do that? Why the fuck would you that?" The brunette voice is laced with barely contained jealousy and hurt as she hops off the counter, straightening her dress. "You had no right, Britt, no right to do that. And with fucking Trouty Mouth of all people. It's not fair."

Something snaps within Brittany when she hears Santana mention fairness.

"Then what is fair Santana? Is leaving me behind, in Lima, by my own, fair?"

"It's not about that Britt. You fucking slept with Sam! How the hell am I supposed to react?" The brunette replies, crossing her arms in that way Brittany knows she uses when she wants to protect herself.

The blonde shakes her head, disbelieving. "You broke up with me! You sang that song and then you told me that we were allowed to have energy exchanges or whatever and I didn't know what you meant and then you- you just left me there..."

"It was an unofficial break up, I thought I was doing the mature thing to do in our situation..."

"I don't care about doing the fucking mature thing Santana!", they don't know what surprises them the most; the full name or that curse coming out of the blonde's mouth, "I don't want to be mature if it means not being with you..."

Brittany hopes the girl in front of her understands what she's trying to say as she watches the tiny crease between Santana's eyebrows soften for a second. Unfortunately, it's back just as quickly.

"Why did you sleep with Sam then?" Santana's voice is harsh, a tone she practically never used with Brittany. Ever."Why would you go and do such a stupid thing?"

Brittany swallows, tears instantly welling up in her eyes. She hates how Santana deliberately used that word. But more than sadness, she feels anger building up within her. She's angry, so angry that Santana keeps focussing on something so unimportant-Sam- when she should be focussing on them. On her.

"It didn't mean anything... We were both a bit drunk and I was feeling so lonely and..." She trails off, realizing she doesn't have any real excuses.

"Bullshit."

"San, please... Why are you getting so mad?"

"Because you're mine, Brittany! And it, God, it kills me to know you've been with someone that isn't me..."

Brittany's eyes widen, cheeks flushing. "That's so unfair Santana! You're the one who broke up with me!"

The brunette takes a few steps back, taken aback by Brittany's loud voice. "I didn't want to-"

But the blonde has had enough and, for once, she won't back down. "Stop trying to push me away!"

"Then don't cheat on me!" Santana replies, both of them practically yelling at that point.

Brittany knows they shouldn't let this get so blown of proportions but right now, she can't control it. Nine months of questioning and confusion were bound to explode eventually.

"You can't have the pie... or cake, or whatever", she starts, not even noticing that she's most likely waking up everybody downstairs by now, "you can't have it and eat it too!"

Santana throws her arms up in the air, shouting just as loud. "I was trying to do the right thing and you go and fuck somebody else behind my back!"

Brittany shakes her head, unable to believe Santana is being so thick. "It didn't mean anything! And stop saying that I'm yours as if I was some kind of property because I'm not, ok? I'm not yours!"

Instantly, she wishes she could take those last words back; they're the biggest lie she has ever told.

Santana looks as if she has been slapped, unshed tears now visible in her big brown eyes. She sniffles, jaw hardening a second later. "You know what? Let me make you a favor. I'm officially breaking up with you."

Brittany's heart skips a beat and she feels like she's about to throw up. Or faint. Or both. Because this, right now, isn't supposed to be happening. She doesn't really know what she expected to come out of tonight but definitely not this.

"You and Lady Lips can now live happily ever after." Santana practically spits out, opening the bathroom's door. Brittany doesn't miss the way her voice is slightly shaking and she briefly hopes they could just start this conversation all over. But they can't and, despite herself, she still feels angry at Santana.

"Fine! Have fun with all the unicorns in Louisville, I don't care."

Santana's eyes flash with hurt and instead of replying, she storms out of the bathroom, leaving a completely distraught Brittany behind her.

The blonde almost runs after her but her vision has got so blurry with tears that she doubts she could even walk by now.

This can't be real. There's no way she just broke up with the girl she's head over heels in love with.

Sitting on the closed toilet seat and putting a hand in front of her mouth, she finally lets herself cry.

Brittany misses how somewhere between the stairs and the front door, Santana has started to crying too.

"Mommy, I think it's done."

A small hand grabs Brittany's wrist, startling her.

She was so completely lost in her memories that she had forgotten where she was; she realizes that her back is now hurting from sitting too long on the plastic chair.

She blinks quickly, plastering a smile on her face. "Thank you sweetie, I'll take care of it and then we can go home, ok?"

Her son nods, eyes closing despite his will. "Ok."

Brittany gets up, making her way to the washing machine.

She feels numb, just like every time she lets herself think about Santana. Their break-up was one of the most painful moments of her life and throughout the years, she tried to move forward instead of looking back. It has been nothing but easy.

Grabbing up the wet clothes and putting them in the dryer, Brittany closes her eyes, breathing out deeply.

Get a grip.

"So honey", she starts, turning around to face her son, "want to show me that drawing?"

And as her son starts babbling, Brittany picks up the small piece of paper she has earlier thrown to the floor, heart winning over her heart, just like most times in her life.

Thoughts? I really hope you enjoyed it.

Next chapter will come back to the present time and you'll get to witness more Brittana interaction! Woop, woop.

If you have time (and enjoyed the heart shaped cookies. I made them myself. Seriously.) drop a review and make me a happy, dancing woman!

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